Hope you like the chapter!
“So…” Hump said, slumping down beside Bud against the wall. “Welcome to the club?”
Bud gave Hump an unamused look, but it was a look.
“Good to see you’re still in there!” Hump said, smiling. “You had us worried. Shall we talk?”
Bud’s eyes went back to the floor and he said nothing. The momentary emotion was gone, and cold, empty eyes returned. Hump looked around the room. The altari were helping Prince Marcoff to his feet, and it seemed he had Captain Hadbur to thank for the fact the prince didn’t come storming after him. They were in one of the side rooms near the entryway. Hump wasn’t sure what it had been once, for there was so little of it remaining. The broken stone made for decent enough sitting though.
“Give me something to work with, big guy,” Hump said. “What’s on your mind? What do you think of Loften? Are you hungry? Do you want me to leave you alone and give you some time?”
*Bud remained silent. Slumped on the floor in his armour, he didn’t look comfortable.
“How about we just get you out of your armour?” Hump suggested. “You can think things through a little more comfortably. Maybe get some sleep.” Still no answer. He glanced at Emilia and whispered, “Am I helping or annoying him?”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” she said. “He has fairly high tolerance for you being irritating though.”
Hump frowned glumly. “Well thanks…” He nudged Bud’s shoulder plate. “If I’m annoying you, make sure to tell me. I don’t want to be. I just want you to talk to me, Bud. Something. Anything.”
“You’re not annoying me,” Bud said quietly.
“Good.” Hump drew in a relieved breath, more at the fact his friend was talking than not irritating him. “Do you want some space? I get this must all be a shock for you but we’re here for you when you need us.”
Bud shook his head. “A shock? You just… I don’t know how to explain it to you. My entire life is a lie. Everything. I… I can’t accept it. I keep thinking about all the ways Loften could be lying to me.”
“Do you think he’s lying?” Hump asked. “Truly?”
“It’s possible, isn’t it?” Bud said. He sighed. “There’s always the chance.”
Hump frowned.
“What?” Bud asked. “You think I’m an idiot.”
“No. Of course I don’t.”
Bud scoffed. “You do. I can just imagine how much you’re enjoying this. Finally, your words have been proven right.”
Hump felt his anger rising. “You know I’m not like that?”
“Yes you are! Nothing makes you happier than being right.”
“Not like this. Not with you. I wish I was wrong, Bud. I really do. The world would be a better place if what you believed was true. You’re my best friend. Do you truly believe I would want this?”
There was a long silence. Bud closed his eyes and pressed his head against the wall. “No.” He put his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Hump.”
“You don’t need to apologise,” Hump said. “I just need you to know it.”
“But what do I do?” Bud said. “How do I accept this?”
Hump paused. He didn’t even know where to start. How did someone get over something like this? Pragmatism? It didn’t seem like a particularly helpful suggestion.
“What does your heart tell you?” Emilia asked.
“I have doubts,” Bud said quietly. “I want to tell myself that this is a test—a chance to prove my faith. But…”
“What is it?” Emilia pressed.
“There’s a feeling. When Loften twisted my blessings… I felt a weight lifted. Like chains unravelled from around my soul. I could finally breathe.” Bud’s lip trembled. “But how can it be true? Loften was exiled. He could have done something to trick me. To fool us all.”
To Hump, the proof was undeniable. Loften had stood before them, explained what blessings truly were, then reforged Bud’s before their eyes. Bud’s soul had reached the next step. His power had evolved. It all lined up with what Hump had already learned, and what he knew of Celaine’s blessings.
“How could they deceive us all like this?” Bud whispered. “How could they hide the truth from so many? Our people look to them for guidance. Our priests speak their messages. Our Chosen carry out their will. I can’t believe that was all a lie.”
“Both can be true,” Emilia said. “The gods may guide the priests and Chosen, while taking some of their power.”
“They have stolen from us,” Bud’s voice cracked. “People pray to them for help. I have prayed, in my times of need. Do you think they laugh at our prayers? Or was I talking to nothing. To no one.”
“Have you looked at the changes?” Hump asked.
“I don’t need to. I can feel them.”
“What do they feel like?” Hump asked.
“Like scars upon my soul. The old wounds healed, and new tissue in their place. And the power that remains doesn’t come from anywhere but me.”
“Can you show me?” Hump asked. “I’d like to see what he did to you.”
Bud shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t see it. Don’t make me. I’m an abomination. No matter what’s true, my soul has been marred.”
Emilia placed a hand on Bud’s. “Bud…”
“I won’t make you,” Hump said. “It’s just that I think they may be similar to Celaine’s blessings, designed to help you grow rather than dictating your path.”
“Then look,” Bud snarled, calling upon his blessings. There were tears in his eyes, glistening as Frostfire flickered within. Circles took form around him, his blessings carving themselves out in the ground, one by one. Unfamiliar sigils circling him—the same icy crystals, yet something was slightly different to them. The flame was flaked with silver. The runes somewhere between God Glyphs and Loften’s runes.
Bud read over them all in dismay. “In this distant world, my connection to Kelisia had faded, but it was still there, waiting to reconnect. Now, that is gone. I am Fallen. An oathbreaker. There is nothing.”
“Now you’re being an idiot,” Emilia said. “What oath did you break? If anyone broke an oath, it is Kelisia.”
Bud laughed. There was no humour in it, just bitterness and pain. “Didn’t I? Where are we, Emilia? I’ve come to a place where my gods imprisoned Loften. He was exiled, and now he is free! Free to pursue his revenge. Free to bring ruin to the Pantheon and anything else he sees fit. I helped free him…” He ran a hand down his face, fingers trembling. “And for that, I am the greatest oathbreaker there ever was. At least Godfrey has not yet set any of the old gods free.”
“Godfrey has slain countless innocents,” Hump said. “He’s betrayed not just the gods, but the people of Alveron. If you compare yourself to him we really will start to think you are a fool.”
Bud forced a smile. “Do you know the worst part? I don’t feel guilt. Only sorrow. Hurt. Betrayed. I would have done anything for Kelisia. Anything. And all this time, you were right, Hump. I clung to hope that my faith would be enough. That maybe—just maybe—if I stayed true to Kelisia, my faith would be rewarded. But now… now I know.”
He looked up at Hump. Tears ran down his cheeks. “She was never watching. She never cared.”
The silence that followed was painful. Hump didn’t know what to say. Bud’s sadness was so visceral. So deep. He couldn’t fix that.
Bud bowed his head, sobbing now. “All my life I’ve devoted myself to her. To her cause. I have tried to uphold her values, punished her enemies, and followed every sign she gave. And it meant nothing.”
“It wasn’t for nothing,” Hump said gently. Bud didn’t look up. “You didn’t just uphold her values, you embodied them. Kelisia never deserved your loyalty. She betrayed you!”
Bud swallowed. “Not just me. Her people. All of us.” Bud clenched his fist and slammed it against his chest so hard it clanked through the halls of the tower. “It just hurts so much.”
Emilia touched his arm softly. “We know it’s hard.”
“You can’t know,” Bud snapped, though his voice cracked more with pain than anger. “You’re not Chosen. You can’t comprehend what it means to devote your entire being to something greater. It defined me, Emilia, yet it was never real.” He shook his head. “There have been times when I have doubted. Times when I was uncertain of what lay ahead. But always I walked onward, trusting in her guiding hand. Trusting that as long as I stayed true to her, all would work out as intended. But there is no guidance. No path. No reason.”
“You might not have had Kelisia, but you’ve always had your own compass,” Hump said. “Think of all the people you’ve saved. Everything we’ve accomplished together. The terrible things that we’ve prevented. So what if Kelisia wasn’t pointing the direction. None of that came from her. That came from you. The path we’re on is our own, and that’s not a bad thing.”
Bud looked up at him, blinking slowly. “But what do we do now? How do we know where to go next?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this,” Hump said. “But I was never trusting in any god to show me the way. Not sure if you’ve noticed. Our way forward is still clear. We still have our goals. We still have a mission. We need to get back to Alveron. We need to stop the warlocks from reaching the Path to Heaven. And you’re still a part of that.”
“But how can we know what’s right?” Bud asked, desperate. “We’ve released Loften, but perhaps he did not deserve his exile. What if the warlocks and Godfrey aren’t entirely wrong?”
Hump tapped the steel plate on Bud’s chest. “Follow that big ol’ thing in there. Fortunately for the rest of us, you’ve got a kinder one than most. Do you need a god to tell you that the warlocks and Godfrey are evil?”
Bud frowned at him. “No.”
“That’s a good start.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s not always easy,” Hump said. “And when you find yourself struggling, that’s when you lean on us. Maybe you’ll come to like it. There’s a sense of freedom and adventure to not knowing where your feet might take you next.”
“And what will we do next?” Bud asked. “Follow Loften?”
“Is that what you want to do?” Hump asked.
Bud thought for a moment. “No. Not one bit. All I care for right now is a full night’s sleep without having to worry about who or what might want to kill us tomorrow.”
“It’s been a while hasn’t it.”
“Sleep for a full night,” Bud said. “Not have to worry about who or what might try to kill us the next day.”
Hump snorted. “It’s been a while hasn’t it.”
“Far too long.” Bud sighed. “And I think it will be a while yet before I get my wish. I want answers. Whatever we do now, we stick with Loften. If he is playing me the fool, I will know it. And if his words are true, and the Pantheon is using their worshippers for selfish reasons, then I would know it for myself.”
Hump turned his eyes from Bud to the doorway. Part of him wanted to get up and see what Loften was doing, but most of him was just tired. “Let’s get some rest first. Give Loften some time to get his things in order. Come tomorrow, I’ll see about his plan for getting us home.”
“What has he told you so far?” Bud asked.
“That it will take some time. And he didn’t seem to have much sense of urgency either. We’re going to need to apply some pressure.”
All of a sudden, thunder boomed through the tower. The floor trembled beneath Hump, the very tower shaking. Nisha was on her feet, grumbling with worry, almost falling from the force. The quake lasted for fifteen seconds before it finally stopped.
“What did he do?” Emilia asked.
The three of them shared a look and staggered to their feet. Hump’s mind went to the Reality Anchors beneath the tower. Had he drawn on the world core from the power? Was this the destruction of the world the altari had foretold?
Yet as they raced out into the hallway, they found Loften arriving from the inner halls.
“What happened?” Hump asked.
“Out here,” Dylan’s voice came from the entryway. Hump and the others crowded into the doorway of the small room. Celaine and Dylan stood in the doorway, and outside, and explosion of essence filled the distant sky, breaching the mountains like the sun over the horizon.
“That’s the direction of the Skyship,” Celaine said.
Captain Hadbur shouted something in altari.
“Light has come for me,” Loften said, staggering back through the door until his back was pressed against the wall. “She knows. But it’s too soon. I cannot face her.”
“Light?” Hump asked. “You sense Lady Light in that?”
He couldn’t sense anything from this distance.
“Yes.”
“It is not her,” Hump said. “Godfrey has come.”