Chapter 6: Alien Goop
Beau stretched his arms one by one in front of him, psyching himself up in the process.
The entire experience had been so surreal. One minute he was sitting in the wilderness drinking a beer with some old friends, and the next he was butt-ass naked with some poor Japanese kid abducted by aliens.
He assumed that when aliens attacked Earth he wouldn’t have been on this end of the scenario.
Being behind enemy lines without any equipment or back up was unnerving at best and FUBAR at worst. But Beau had no intention of going quietly into the night.
He had a plan in mind, but the only thing he was unsure about was how far the kid was willing to go, or even how far he could go.
“Ryo, you do track in school?” he asked
Sugawara looked over, his face stuck in a constant thinking frown.
“Track in school?” came the confused reply. Beau sighed, he’d have to word things a little more clearly to get his point across. The kid was smart, he knew that, but if Beau was going to get the best out of him he’d have to give him the direction and leeway he needed.
“Uhh, do you run? Jump? Play ball?” Beau mimed every action, feeling a little stupid, but they didn’t have the luxury of time and Ryo nodded with an almost arrogant smile.
“I play ball,” he took an imaginary swing with a bat, his aim suspiciously lower than needed to hit the average throw.
“That’s good, your swing any good?”
“The best.” Ryo made a cracking noise with another swing. Beau had to laugh, now he was just posturing.
“Right then, how’s your punch?” Beau put a heavy fist into his palm. It got the message across loud and clear. Ryo paused again, waving his palm up and down
“Punch okay.”
Beau raised his open palm and braced it. If he had been in a fight, all the better.
“Then show me.”
Ryo looked at Beau like he was crazy, before pointing at the fresh shoulder wound.
“Hey, you could swing your arm just fine a moment ago, push through the pain,”
Ryo shook his head, and winced as he threw a punch into Beau’s palm.
It wasn’t bad, but he was holding back, probably from the injury.
“Right. You think you're ready to start this?”
Ryo nodded his head.
“Okay then, let’s get that thing down.” Beau pointed at the camera. Ryo stared back with a blank expression.
Beau offered him a leg up.
“Get on my shoulders,” he said, standing right under the black bulbous device.
Ryos shook his head and placed a slightly scratched foot into the soldiers palms, one hand on Beau's shoulder and the other courteously shielding his modesty from the other man’s face.
Ryo was surprisingly agile, not needing too much of hand to balance on his shoulders.
“Can you reach it?” Beau asked.
“Yeah...” Ryo said back. He could get his fingers around the plastic shield, but something was strange. All he saw was black, he couldn't see the camera components inside. Unlike the grates in the floor, there was just enough of a lip between the camera and the ceiling that Sugawara could get his fingers grip onto.
“Count three,” Sugawara called to the man below. Beau braced the teenager's ankles.
“Ready!”
“One, two, three!” Sugawara used his strength and weight to pull and much to his surprise, the shield came off with a ‘pop’, like it had been hastily glued in place.
It came crashing down into him with a hefty weight. Sugawara pushed it off to the side and let it crash to the floor.
The plastic shield bounced and sent the ‘camera’ flying.
It landed with a very wet ‘slop’.
“What the hell?!”
There were no sparks of electricity, several wires leaking blue liquid dripped from the large gaping ceiling, more blue stuff pooled beneath the globby looking camera.
Beau let Sugawara down off his shoulder while they inspected the black goop. In the back of his mind he knew he didn’t have time, but the longer they spent in this place, the weirder it got.
“What is it?” Ryo asked.
Beau reached out to touch the black thing.
It was slimy, tough and warm.
The worst part was that it was familiar...
Beau flipped the gelatinous mass over and reeled back as the black colour began to drain from the ball of snot.
Sugawara jumped back as Beau began to pace out of shock.
“What?” the kid asked.
Beau stopped and pointed an accusing finger at the gelatinous blob.
“That thing’s not a camera, it's a goddamned eyeball.”
Ryo blinked, several times.
“What?” he asked again.
Beau nearly poked his own eye out as he shoved a finger under it.
“It’s. A. God. Damned. EYEBALL.”
Sugawara sidestepped the larger man to get a closer look, only for a large pupil resting in a pool of blue liquid to be staring back at him.
“We need to go,” Ryo managed to muster, panic replacing the thinking frown.
“Ya think?!” Beau snapped back, regaining his senses. “Get up there, hopefully there’s a way out!”
After another vault up on Beau's shoulders, Suga could reach up into the shaft behind the alien eyeball camera. The light from below them was enough for him to see there was enough room for him. He pulled himself up, brushed the ‘wires’ aside and crawled into the space. It was narrow, but while he could crouch comfortably inside, he figured it might be cramped for Beau.
“Is it big enough?!” the soldier called from down below, “does it go anywhere?!”
Sugawara looked in front and behind. Both tunnels trailed off into darkness, but at least they didn’t end right there. Maybe there was still some hope of escape.
“Is small, but can move, it dark,” came the answer from the ceiling.
“Great,” Beau replied, but now he had to get up there.
He had assumed that the camera would have had enough wire he could have pulled himself up, but if the eyeball was any indication, the ‘wires’ were probably closer to ‘veins’ and if it couldn’t support the weight of the camera, it definitely wouldn't be able to support him.
“Just a sec, I’ll get the ‘shield’.” The only thing that had any integrity and ‘length’ was the camera shield. At the very least he could try using it to get a step up to reach Ryo.
The thing was light, like hard molded plastic, but it had suffered a scratch or two from the fall. Hopefully it would stand up to his weight.
But Beau didn't get the chance to test it.
The cell doors began to slide open.
Beau reacted quickly, running to the side of the door and slamming his body into the wall, waiting for the guards to make their way inside.
The bugs didn't even bother clearing the room before they waltzed in, giving the old soldier the perfect opportunity to shield bash them in.
He just about threw himself into them, bashing them with the camera casing.
He knocked one to the floor, stunned, and wasted no time in forcing his fist through the alien's face over and over. He heard a crack, sharp pieces of shell splintered into his skin and clear sticky blood splattered on the floor.
The other panicked and screeched, one set of hands reaching for his taser lance and firing it at Beau, while the second activated a light on his armour.
The lance struck Beau in the arm, shocking his body with electricity.
He let out a roar of pain, the guard below him an even louder shriek, but the human pushed through the discomfort while the guard stood there quivering.
Beau grabbed the lance and ripped it out of the guard's hand, throwing it out of reach as his victim retaliated. Four flailing hands began trying to grab the human, clawing and bruising his skin, but they were no match for the human's strength. Beau grabbed an arm, twisting it to break a wrist, flinching when the limb shattered under the pressure. The bug let out another drowning shriek as clear blood splattered in Beau’s face.
The unarmed guard, lost in the senseless violence, dived for his lance, only to have the second human crash into his back.
Sugawara heard the alien's shell crack beneath him, felt its body compress as instinct and fight took over. The young man scrambling to his feet, the sheer weight keeping the bug in place, his foot ensuring he never left it.
Sugawara put his full force into the stomp. The back of the alien's head shattered like an egg, shards of shell shredding Suga’s skin. He screamed, falling over holding his ankle, as though he had stomped on a broken bottle, pieces of glass now embedded in his foot.
Beau’s head whipped around.
“Hold on!” he cried, before ripping out another arm from the guard below him.
The alien garbled a series of clicks, before the blood loss was too great. The body went limp and continued bleeding on the floor.
Beau rushed over to help Suga while the headless guard's body flailed near them, the arms trying to drag the body over to the extended lance.
“You ain’t going nowhere,” Beau snarled as he reached for a leg, twisting and yanking the limb from the torso. Like removing a blockage, a geyser of alien blood poured out the floor. One final gurgled cry signaled its demise.
Sugawara began muttering curse word after curse word, holding his bleeding foot. Beau acted fast, grabbing a sash off the guard's uniform and tying it around the ankle to stem the flow of blood.
“You really are a tough son of a bitch ain't ya?” Beau commented. “You think you can stand?”
Beau lifted Sugawara up and helped the boy hop over to the water. “Wash it off and we’ll get the pieces out.”
Thankfully, they weren't too deep, enough to cut and hurt like hell coming out, but no arteries nicked.
“You pull them out, I'll get what we can.”
Beau looked over the alien bodies, grabbing the taser lances as his first move, second was pulling the little bit of fabric of their uniforms. Bandages and loin cloths were in tall order. The one he had ripped the arms off was sporting a small white cape. Tearing it in two would be enough for them. The armour was of no use, none of it would fit them and from what Beau could tell, it was fused with the aliens' shells. The blinking light on the second guard's uniform only served to intensify his anxiety. He tapped it, and much to his surprise, turned it off instantly.
Once Sugawara had pulled out the last piece, Beau rewrapped the sash around the base of the ankle and foot, stemming the bleeding.
“You think you're strong enough to get back on my shoulders?” Beau asked.
Sugawara gave a grunt and a thumbs up.
“Right, climb up.” Beau turned around to let Sugawara climb up his back. Sugawara’s breathing was heavy, and he used more of his knee to climb, but with Beau steadying him he reached the hole in the ceiling. With a grunt of exertion, Sugawara pulled himself up, scrambling to lie down in the darkness of the vent.
Beau looked over his options to get himself up. Deciding the cape was the quickest, he tore it in two while tying both ends together and throwing it up to the kid.
“Tie it off and I'll pull myself up! Hurry!”
Sugawara scrambled, but there were no metal pipes or joins for him to tie it off to. The inside of the vent was…unsettling.
The surface was like warm, leathery skin. He pulled together several of the veiny cables and double knotted to the best of his ability, hoping it would be able to withstand the weight and force of the large man.
The rope went taut and Sugawara grabbed the end, holding it the best he could while Beau climbed up. The soldier was in the vent in a matter of seconds.
“Gah,” Beau spat as he pulled himself up, “I hate rope climbs…” He turned around and pulled up the end of the rope, to which he had tied both taser lances. He untied the knots and handed Suga his portion of the scarf, along with one of the weapons.
“So,” Beau asked, tying off his new loin cloth around his hips. “Left or right?”
Suga looked down the dark and narrow tunnel. Neither side looked inviting.
“I follow you,” he answered.
“Fine by me.”
They made their way forward, blindly into the darkness.
Without the light to see their other senses took over.
The walls of the shaft radiated a living heat, an unnerving noise of the pumping of liquid echoed in the distance.
The whole place made Suga’s hairs stand on end.
They weren't just entering the lion’s den, but crawling down its throat.
-*-
Chapter 7: The Lap of Luxury
Xant found himself holding on for dear life while his body was crammed into a vehicle it clearly wasn’t designed for. His tail was squished between the tall seat and the frame of the machine, his legs too far apart for them to sit comfortably in the narrow footwell, so he was almost sideways in the forward-facing seat, but that also gave him a clear view of its pilot’s insane method of ‘driving’ the shaking contraption.
Jasmine didn’t even need to look where her feet and hands were going, moving them simultaneously to shift in and out of gear by instinct, all the while singing harsh, deep-throated songs at the top of her lungs. There was no rail or set path, she simply barreled down wherever she wanted at life threatening speeds.
Xant had been observing the human since her revival, and while she had had her ‘aggressive’ outbursts, brought on through stress and despair respectively, to see her exercise such aggression was fascinating. She was entranced, focused on some unknown ‘point’ and screaming her pent up emotions at ‘it’. Xant had never seen such emotional power simply thrown away, but he couldn’t deny he was caught up in the triumph and relief the song gave her.
With practised ease, Jasmine stopped the car at the base of the enormous ‘super yacht’ craft, then gleefully jumped out to climb atop the roof again.“Up here, Xant!” she called.
The doctor squirmed his way out of the car’s ancient lock system and stood on the ground, looking up at the human. She pointed to a small thin ladder welded to the side of the ship’s stern.“We need to climb that to get on board.” she announced.
Xant stared at her and then at the wide jump needed to cover that distance.
“Is this another attempt at humour?” he questioned.
The human did laugh, so he supposed he was right.
“Well, we could always wait for Rynard to throw you!” She smiled, making the hand motion of hefting a ball. “Like tossing a dwarf!” She giggled.
Xant for the first time questioned Jasmine’s intelligence.
“Perhaps we left you in stasis too long…”
He quickly examined the gap. It was going to be an extraordinary effort for him to climb atop the vehicle, let alone cross the divide with his physical ability alone. He tried to mimic Jasmine’s method of climbing on the car, but his hands and feet were not able to find the small gaps her narrower ones could. In the end she had to pull him up, and felt the roof bow with his weight.From up top the distance to the ladder seemed even greater.“How exactly do you propose we climb the ladder from here?” he asked her, but Jasmine was still riding the exhilarating high of being ‘thunderstruck’.
“Like this!”
Without so much as a run-up Jasmine leapt towards the ladder and landed with precision, her elongated limbs showing an agility Xant had not considered during the physical examination. “Let me reframe the question,” he huffed. “How exactly do you expect me to climb the ladder from here?!”“Oh it’s not that far, it’s barely a jump!”
“Zenthi don’t ‘jump’.” “That offer for Rynard to throw you is still on the table.”
Xant scoffed, took a deep breath and rationalised the situation.
He was in a military-grade suit, so while his weight and aerodynamics would be affected, his strength was increased and any fall damage negated through the armour and pain blocker chems. So, even if he fell, the only thing that would suffer would be his pride. Another uncomfortable thought peeked through the rationale.
He said he wanted to follow Jasmine. This would mean having to keep up with her. He couldn’t do that if he forever deliberated his shortcomings.
Xant inched closer to the edge of the car and Jasmine helpfully reached out to him, hanging precariously from the metal bars.“I’ll catch you!” she encouraged him.Her arms closing the distance boosted his confidence considerably, and he swayed his body back and forth, ready to leap. This would count as the most adventurous he had been in the steel suit, forever wary of Rynard’s warning of torn ligaments. Xant closed his eyes and pushed himself forward, the suit multiplying the force needed to get him across and almost smashing into the side of the yacht. Thankfully, Jasmine was able to correct her friend’s trajectory and guided his hands to the ladder’s sides, which he clung to for dear life.Jasmine gave a loud cheer.“You did it! Way to go, Xant!” And she patted his shoulder. “Now we just have to get to the top! Did you want to go first?”
Once again, he looked at the human as though she were lacking in common sense.
“How do I ‘go first’? You’re clearly ahead of me!” Jasmine could only smile as she maneuvered so only one hand and arm were on the ladder, her body swaying in the open air, unafraid of the drop below.“There you go! Now you’re clear. I’ll make sure you don’t fall!”
Xant shuddered, flattened his ears and forced himself to climb up the ladder. He could almost feel the thin aluminum bars being crushed under the strength of the suit, but one step at a time he climbed higher. The top was open, no hatch or easy step, so he had to scramble his way over and landed with a thud. By comparison, he heard Jasmine’s light footsteps make quick work of the ladder, and she was soon helping him up to his feet.“Careful,” she teased “you’ll scuff the deck!” “Scuff the what?...” “Take off your helmet, you’ll see things clearer!”
Warily, Xant let the locks of his helmet click and unfold while he examined his surroundings. It was an ‘open air room’, the floor layered like in his office, multiple steps divided for different purposes, with a deep pit made of what looked like blue plastic as the focal point of the main room. Jasmine threw her arms open.“Welcome aboard, matey!” she proclaimed with a strange contextual layer to her speech. “Enjoy the pool deck!” “Pool? Was this filled with water-” Xant took a step closer but his ears were tickled by the sound underfoot. He had assumed the floor would have been of the same steel or plastics the ship was composed of but no, underneath him, the entire floor was made of wood. The doctor spluttered, reaching down to the floor to feel it. There was more wood here than he had seen in his entire lifetime, and humans used it for flooring.
“Ooh yeah, nothing beats a pristine hardwood deck, that’s why I told you not to scuff it.” Jasmine smiled, tapping the floor with her knuckles in appreciation before walking towards the glass doors. “Let’s check inside! I wonder if everything is still here?”Xant followed her. The whole building catered to a human’s sensibilities. He would be stepping into a truly alien environment.
And it was beautiful.
He was welcomed to a room detailed with wood and gold, glass windows shimmered even in the dim light and displaced furniture made of cloth and silk gathered dust, but their beauty was comparable to imperial belongings. So much craft and detail was poured into every one, he couldn’t fathom how much it took in terms of skill or time to create such things.“Phew! What a mess, help me clean it up a bit…” Jasmine began uplifting furniture with an almost innate knowledge of where everything should go. Xant was almost too scared to touch anything.“What should I do?” he asked, afraid to do any delicate work.
“We’ll start by uprighting the chairs, then I’ll tell you where they go okay?” she replied almost oblivious to his hesitation.
“Alright,”
The chairs were covered in a soft cushiony material, Xant couldn't stop brushing his hand over them as he delicately placed the furniture, and dismayed when he saw none of the chairs had a hole for his tail.
“I’ll need help with this!” Jasmine called, a long lounge took up the space beneath a large window, “it’s not heavy, just awkward to move by myself,” she assured him, Xant mimicked the position of her hands on the back and foot of the couch, tilting it back upright and against the wall
Jasmine promptly plonked herself upon the pillowy seat, as though she were entitled to its use.“Oh my god… I missed cushions,” she patted the unused space beside her, “Don't be shy! Take a load off!”“Just a moment,” Xant tapped his suit, he couldn't contain himself in steel any longer, the temptation to feel his new environment too great. The suit flayed open and he was able to step out of it onto fluffy, soft carpet.
Xant lost himself rubbing his feet on the soft fibers, first wood now fabric?? It was obscene!
His own carpet was a precious momento, why would humans consider a laborious resource worth turning into a construction material? Were wood and fabrics not luxury items in their world? If that were the case, what were considered luxury goods?
“Is something wrong Xant?” Jasmine asked, then Xant realised he had been staring at the floor for too long.
“The floor, is this a common fixture?”
“The carpet? I mean, the owner was a mad man to have white carpet on a boat, but if you can afford something like this you’re not cleaning it yourself,” Jasmine shrugged, “Carpet is not uncommon, but generally going out of style where I’m from because it's so hard to keep clean,”
Xant was both relieved and perplexed by the answer.
“So the reason it is not more common is maintenance?”
“Yeah, keeping carpet, let alone white carpet clean is a nightmare, in a dry country, too much dust and dirt.” Jasmine explained, happy to be talking about the mundanity. “If you think the carpet is amazing you should try out the couch here!”Xant looked over the seat, it appeared all human furniture had a tall, back support, with no consideration for large tails such as his own. He did spy a more accommodating stool with the same cushiony substance on top.
“I think this might be more appropriate,” he flipped over the stool and sat, comfortably, very comfortably. He let his body relax as he took in more of the surroundings through naked eyes, there were still so many things thrown about and lying on the floor displaced. Close to his seat was a glass container, a curious vessel to be sure, appearing to be intricately carved. It was rectangular, and for whatever reason, had uniformed, pyramid shaped protrusions on the outside. He had to be very careful picking it up.
Jasmine's eyes lit up when he inspected the object closer.
It smelled of disinfectant.
“Oh my god yes!”
The human scrambled off the couch and started rummaging through the storage shelves that stood strangely towards the centre of the room. He proposed it was a display of some kind with the objects of its focus somewhere on the floor.
“Jasmine?”
“Ah ha!” she cried triumphantly, pulling out another uniquely shaped bottle, “Now this is going to be great,” she skipped over to Xant, picking up more glass rectangles on her way over and handing him an empty one, placing his original finding on the table. She poured out an amber looking liquid, a drop in his glass and a more substantial pour in hers.
“What is it?” Xant asked.
“Old enough to vote,” she giggled, closed her eyes, took a small sip before exhaling and shivering pleasantly, “This is, well, I'm guessing it's older now, but aged whisky, aka, human alcohol.”
Xant wrinkled up his snout.
“Is it supposed to be this colour?”
“Yes, when you drink it, you can taste the oak barrels and honey.” she breathed in the fumes, getting a reaction from then alone, “But I know you guys use this for disinfectant, so, you only get a drop if you're brave enough to try it.”
“Considering what it does to your physiology, I doubt my own constitution can handle it.” Xant held the glass a good distance from his nose, resting it on his knee.
“Shame,” she shrugged and took another sip.
Xant couldn't taste it, but watched as Jasmine drank and melted into relaxation.
“Ahhh, like drinking warm silk,” she described.
Curiosity got the better of him, he leaned in and took a quick sniff of the sample she gave him.
It was woody and sweet, but the second sniff burnt the inside of his nostrils. Xant graciously placed the ‘drink’ down, while Jasmine chuckled at his reaction.
“Yeah it’s not a drink for a first timer, I think it gets even more potent the longer it sits… and who knows how long we were floating out there.”
“By my best estimates, it could have been [decades].” Xant piped up, smoothing out his ears as he did so, “I’ve been trying to figure out where your planet of origin might be located by calculating the unexplored regions of the system, what is currently reachable by galactic council gates and the limit of stasis pods.” Xant bowed his head. “But my knowledge in these areas is rudimentary at best, the information is expansive to say the least.”
Jasmine sat quietly for a moment, staring into her drink, before she threw her head and the drink back in one go.
“Whoooo! -cough- Okay, we've seen this room, what else is there to explore!” she swayed getting to her feet, but charged forward anyway. Xant followed closely behind, incase she lost her footing.
The hallways connecting the chambers were very narrow, almost too narrow for himself, and all of them had such sharp ascents and descents. The human lead them inside to one of the many inner chambers, each one as tossed around as the last. An entire ‘library’ of paper books, another room dedicated to the act of ‘entertaining’ featuring a destroyed dataslate the size of an operating table, smaller ‘bedrooms’ that appeared to just be filled with more cushiony furniture.
“And here is the master bedroom,” Jasmine pushed aside the ornate wooden doors to reveal yet another spectacular feat in craftmanship, almost as large as the entertainment deck but the center was just a bed, mounted with layers of fabric. The tapestry that lay across it was nothing short of breath taking, giant, intertwining flowers embroidered with gold thread sprawled across its majesty.He’d never seen anything as intricate made from pure cloth, the designs were simply beautiful.
“You really like that bedspread huh?” Jasmine questioned, peering over his shoulder. Xant ran his hand over the quilt, picking it up and feeling the weight of it, wondering what it was like to not be mesmerised by it all.
“Are humans always surrounded by such beauty?” he asked.
The question caught her off guard, and she looked around the room.
“Not always, but, at the same time, this is closer to what it’s like on Earth than either the station or the base,” she held her arms as she took lazy steps across the room. “Windows framed with curtains, pictures and paint on the walls, bedsheets and pillows of different patterns and colours, we like ‘beautiful’ surroundings.” She fell backward dramatically onto the large bed, rolling on the blankets and looking up at Xant, “You’ve got no excuse to not feel what the bed is like, come lay down and try it out.”
Xant sighed, took a deep breath and mimicked Jasmine’s actions, letting himself flop forward onto the bed.
It was fluffy and soft.
“I think the sheets have a proper 1000 thread count too, maybe I could make a proper cape out of this huh?” she muttered absently as if to appreciate it more than he already was.
“It is absolutely fascinating that humans sleep on such luxury,” he replied as he felt his body sink into the mattress.
“The lucky ones sleep on such luxury, but I do appreciate bedsheets after going without for so long.” she wrapped herself up in the quilt, “human burrito!” she wriggled happily.
Her attention was shortening by the moment, as she rolled off the most comfortable place to exist to peek around a door.
“The ensuite!!” she squealed, “Oh Xant you have to see what a real bathroom looks like!”
If the master bedroom was the most comfortable place in the world, then the ensuite was the most ornate. Xant couldn’t even identify what half the items were in the room, but they apparently all pertained to the simple act of grooming.
Long, wide mirrors lined one side of the entire room all decorated with traces of gold. Double marble basins and gold taps sat beneath them. Frosted glass windows, a bath big enough to fit 4 and a gold-decorated bidet made up the rest of the fixtures as Jasmine once again began rummaging through the shelves, making happy noises with every new discovery.
“Xant hold out her hand!”
The doctor reluctantly did so, Jasmine placed a small white blob in his hands.“Smell it!!” she insisted, fever in her eyes.
He took a quick and wary sniff, but the burning sensation he expected never came.
A fresh and vibrant perfume filled his senses, a sweetness he’d never known.
“It's jasmine hand cream! This is what my namesake smells like!” she dotted her entire face with the cream and rubbed it into her skin.
“A moisturizer?” he questioned, only for Jasmine to shove a cavalcade of tiny coloured bottles under his nose.
“Yes! And here’s shampoo and conditioner for hair, moisturizer, face cream, body wash, exfoliant, oh god please, oh please let the water be running!”
She dived for the taps to the bath, wrenching the handle as hard and as fast as it would go, but to no avail.
“Noooo,” she sobbed, hanging her head in an exaggerated display of defeat, “‘spose it was too good to be true, the water in the tanks would be dry…”
Xant peered over the bathtub.
“So humans, clean themselves in still water?”
“Well, soaking in the tub is fun, it's not exclusively how we clean ourselves, the shower is better for that,”
“So what is the difference between a human shower and our own?”
Jasmine pulled a disgruntled face.
“It’s the difference between a warm gentle rain and a cold pressure hose!” She exclaimed, offended to compare the two. “Oh, I wonder if we could get it running again…” She absent mindedly lifted up a wicker basket, finding a few clothes the previous owners had left behind. “So what do you think?”She asked, lifting a floral summer dress up over her figure.
“The patterns are beautiful, but, is it a cape?”
“No! it’s a dress! Hmmm, but I’d have to lose a few kilos for it to fit.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Well, I’m a little bit bigger than the supermodel who stayed on this boat, but nothing a few weeks of exercise and diet couldn’t fix. Since there’s no junk food I really don’t have the excuse,” she shrugged again.
“Are you not already in optimal condition?” Xant asked, wondering how drastically humans were able to alter their appearance by ‘diet and exercise’ alone.
“Pfffft! No, god no.” she pulled at her stomach fat playfully. “Too much good food, and junk food makes for chunky humans,”
“Junk food?” he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.
Jasmine grinned ear to ear.
“Junk food, food that holds almost no nutritional value but is all about taste, glorious morsels of sugar, salt and colour dye.”
Xant was horrified.
“There is a chance sugar could be found aboard this vessel? We would need to destroy if there is any Intact, we can’t afford to have such a dangerous substance in our possession,”
Sugar, unless tightly regulated, was disastrous on a Sulins functions, forcing them into ever more primal and instinctual behaviours, destructive and damaging to the metabolic rate so it might never recover. Jasmine shrugged it off.
“Well if they’re going to be anywhere on the ship, they’ll be in the kitchen!”
They headed down to the bottom decks and stepped into a stainless steel wonderland. Jasmine was in her element, running her hand over the many specialised equipment Xant watched on in wonder.
An entire stocked kitchen, filled to the brim with human utensils and all of it dedicated to the production of food. Everything was specialised and especially crafted for a use, Jasmine pulled out a drawer and began listing uses for the tools.
“Whisk, spatula, wooden spoon, pasta spoon, pasta scoop, deep frier spider, colander, sauce spoon, carving fork, long tongs, short tongs, tiny whisk, hand beater, electric beater, hand blitzer, measuring cups, bowls, and spoons!” she laughed, flicking her wrist and letting the drawer close “and that was all in one drawer! There's at least cooking stations here… oh! Xant look!” Jasmine lifted a book from the floor and brought it over for them to look at.
“Here, this is what human food is supposed to look like.”
The graphical fidelity of the pictures was phenomenal considering that it wasn't on a computer screen, the colours and shapes didn't even seem like what he knew as ‘food’. He had seen grand sculptures that didn't have nearly as interesting dimensions as the consumable on the page, and page after page, dish after dish, each one was a work of art.
She showed him the variety of knives on display and the stupid amount of cutlery for eating said food. The rules about what drinks to pair with the food, when and when it was not appropriate for certain dishes to be eaten.
This was more than just an industry to these people, the production and skill devoted to it was…
Garish.
Her passion was so genuine and fulfilling towards such grotesque spectacle Xant wasn’t sure what to make of it. It was the first time he felt so uncomfortable, being surrounded by something completely alien to his senses and sensibilities.
He watched as Jasmine got down on her hands and knees, digging through the numerous boxes and cans of non-perishables, excitedly showing all the colourful, attention grabbing items.
“Man I’ve never even heard of some of these brands… 7 Belo?” she muttered under her breath, flipping over the bag to check the ingredients, “Oh!! Brazil! Ha, well I guess we know where Nako’s giant flag came from!” She tore into the box, lifting out a small red square and popping it in her mouth.
The human just about ran on the spot as she chewed the tiny delectable.
“Raspberries!!” she giggled, and then quickly stashed the bag in one of the drawers, before she spotted it.
Jasmine stood before a giant set of doors, her hands hovering over the handles.
“The fridge…” she murmured. The thing nearly took up half the kitchen in terms of space, a massive walk in that most shops would have been envious of. “We keep perishable goods in here, I wonder if anything is still inside?”
She pulled open the door to the side and they were both greeted to the most foul stench. Rotting and liquefied remains of meat and vegetable slopped out onto the floor, the fridge’s seals had fermented the smell to overpowering levels.
“Air!” Jasmine shouted as she scrambled past Xant, “I need air!”
They ran up several stairs to escape the toxic gas and were able to breathe a sigh of relief once above deck. The human just about had a fit of sardonic laughter.“Xant, youre supposed to stop me from being stupid remember?”
“Up until this point Jasmine I had judged you to be more intelligent, perhaps we should stop spending so much time with Rynard?”
That enlisted another laugh from Jasmine, who playfully pushed on Xants shoulder.“Oh you can't keep blaming him for everything Xant! Sometimes humans are just dumb!”
They appeared to have come out the other side of the ship's main deck, more couches and pools littered the area as Jasmine made her way to the open bow of the ship.
She walked to its peak, then climbed over the barely there safety railing to hold the spearhead.
Jasmine puffed out her chest, threw her arms open and proclaimed for the entire engineering wing to hear.
“I'M ON A BOAT, I’M ON A BOAT! TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT MY MOTHER FUCKING BOAT!”
An echo of uproarious laughter soon followed suit, a joke Xant wasn’t privy to as the human climbed back to join him.
“You know,” she said between heavy panting, “I think, I'm done for the moment, I need a break from all this excitement,”
She flopped herself down on one of the sunbeds, and Xant stood over her.
“Jasmine, I’ve been meaning to ask,”
“Go ahead,”
“All of this, everything on this ship is wonderful but, it is nothing like the memory of your home that you shared with me. This is pure opulence, but your memory was far more humble and comforting,”
“Well, that's because this is super yacht, and not a lower-income one bedroom apartment,”
The human replied.
“So, what measure of wealth allows people to live such drastically different lives?” Came the serious question.
“... I, dunnoi know, theyp're mostly owners of companies, corporations, kings, queens, people who run economies…” Was the sheepish reply.
“What expertise defines their worth to be that much more than yours?” Xant asked pointedly.
Jasmine faltered for an answer. While she could throw around words like investment portfolios and trust funds, she didn't actually understand the system as well as she would have liked.
“They study finance, have rich parents, inherited gold mines… luck I guess? There’s many different ways to get there.” She rolled on her side, to avoid the alien staring intensely back at her.
“So, every human has the chance to attain this level of contribution credit?”
“No… Not really.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” Xant remarked, finally lying down beside her.Jasmine stared up at the steel enclosed ceiling, reflecting.
“No it's not, but, it’s getting better,” she replied “Slowly but surely, it's getting better. Things could certainly be a lot worse.”
-*-