I'm still working on the first big Stellarforged space battle (there's one more chapter before I initiate it, so I might post that, but there might be a delay before the battle, as it's a new thing for me to work on), but it's been around a month since Neural Wraith 4 came out and I figured to try to type up some thoughts on it.
I stopped doing commentary posts on my books a while ago for various reasons. But there are often little things about them I want to talk about, including stuff that didn't make it in or the twists and turns in the writing process. At one stage I used Discord to talk about this, but I don't think the audience for this stuff is there (to be blunt, I get nearly zero response if I ever bring any of this up there - and some things from this post have been mentioned there over the past month).
This will be a shorter and more rambling commentary on a few elements of Neural Wraith 4, rather the comprehensive commentaries I used to do.
Old Plans for the Series
Neural Wraith 4 has been a long time coming, and gone through many different visions. The initial idea got posted here not long after NW3 came out, although I knew even back then that it wouldn't work as a harem book. If the series was struggling as is, the idea of doing a book where Nick got trapped in a sort of virtual Groundhog Day he needed to escape from would have failed miserably.
For the next couple of years, a different idea blossomed. One that I was intent I would write until around mid last year when I sat down and worked on the plots to finish both Neural Wraith and Demon's Throne (DT jumpscare warning lmao).
I've briefly mentioned that plot on Discord, and I think the only comment I got was that it reminded them too much of a certain Italian plumber (which is ironic, as I think the plot predated him, but such is life). I may turn this into a short story for the eventual omnibus, and the idea is indirectly referenced as the Ponzi scheme investigation that Nick went on break for before NW4.
The book idea was simple: Nick is investigating the murder of the chief lawyer of an American firm at the heart of a Ponzi scheme that has disturbed even the Spires. The lawyer in question has worked for some of the biggest and sleaziest companies. Given the amount of money that has gone missing, basically everyone is a suspect, and Nick finds himself on a wild goose chase that uncovers a variety of crimes across the city, many of which are ignored or contributing to the growing unrest. The actual perp is a humble worker who lost his family home and legacy to an industrial accident that the lawyer helped cover up decades ago (and he now works as an industrial grunt for a massive agribusiness), and who took his chance for revenge.
It was a grim story, and gave a more human element to NW's criminal problems. I'm not sure it worked for the usually tech-focused crimes, compared to the legal questions it would have brought up. I got the idea when reading up on the aftermath of oil spills and the damage they did to small communities, as well as the ability for oil companies to avoid paying out the large penalties they were ostensibly required to by courts.
When the time came to bring the series to an end, I finally forced myself to write a new plot. The one above may have made for an interesting story, but I don't think it would have helped bring the series to a finale or pull it back from the episodic or heavy elements many disliked.
What Makes Neural Wraith Great?
This was a question I struggled with when working on NW4. I reread the series a couple of times while preparing for and writing the book, and found myself unsure.
I personally feel Neural Wraith 1 is the best book I've written, although I still need to read Mob Sorcery 4 and 5 with fresh eyes - they're still too new for me to read them without recalling all of the struggles I had with the writing process. NW1 feels like an actual book, and I genuinely felt surprised it was a book I'd written when I reread it for the first time in a good 2 years in 2025. It blends together so many elements while remaining well paced.
NW2 is probably the weakest book in the series, and NW3 much better than I expected given how much whining I get about it (and got after NW4 came out).
Rereading parts of these books while working on NW4 made it clear I couldn't perfectly recapture the feeling. My writing style has changed in the past three years.
When I first wrote Mob Sorcery, people commented that Mob was just Neural Wraith with magic. I don't think many people would make that comment now, but I did use the same writing style for early Mob that I did for Neural Wraith. Over time, it evolved. Now, coming back to Neural Wraith, it's inheriting the style I use for Mob.
There was one small thing I did pick up from my rereadings of NW, though. Namely, not to reveal the villain until they're confronted at the end. It's my biggest criticism of Neural Wraith 1. Lieu shouldn't have been named or revealed until Nick greets him in his office. There should have been some way to keep his identity a secret until then and I just didn't think hard enough to do that.
The Plans of Mice and Men
I had a clear vision of Neural Wraith 4 when I started it. I even knew the exact ending scene I wanted it to have, the villain, the midpoint, and several major scenes that would stitch it together. The opening scene had been clear to me for ages. Kim being the victim was thought up back in June 2025 when I wrote up the general plot of the book.
All I needed to do was glue them together. The biggest problem was the early part. Getting from the opening to the midpoint lacked many clear scenes, and I realized early in the writing process I needed a "glue villain" to bring the NLF into the process more directly (instead of having them be a background element).
This created an overarching outline relatively early in the process.
An outline that in almost no way resembles the book you read, even if the feel of the book does.
The original villain was General Griffiths, with Dupont intended to be his shadowy backer and overall mastermind who would be revealed and confronted in the final book. Lilith would be hinted at this book and encountered in Book 5, not this book (but I realized reasonably early on that I needed her for the Asgard stuff and she would work better if revealed - also, nobody picked up on any of her clues). Jack Ayers was going to be a more proactive villain who would show up in person during NLF attacks, acting as a direct red herring.
Most importantly, Asgard would be visited around the midway mark (or, realistically, two-thirds in, but it would be the midpoint of the book structurally). Ostlund's assassination and the aftermath would have direct impacts on the rest of the book, and build up to the finale (I can't be direct here, because I still plan to use these elements in Book 5, with scenes like the one involving Tiferet put off until then).
The reason things began to fall apart are basically a bunch of small things forcing me to lengthen the early part of the book, while also making me change how I approached the villains.
Griffiths ceased to be the villain early on for a few reasons. One, as I wrote him and the themes I wanted him to cover, it became clear I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. The bar scene was intended to be the ending (although it wasn't envisioned as a bar scene at first, but rather finding him wherever he'd holed up). A big issue was making him sympathetic and worth listening to given he'd killed Kim (even if Ostlund would have been Dupont's fault).
When Griffiths comments on the Rubicon in NW4, it's an indirect reference to the original idea. Because he did cross the Rubicon in the original plan. If he was the villain, it would be to intentionally cause a Caesar event, and therefore an uprising. Kill Kim to cause the Assembly to circle the wagons and become overly authoritarian, then get them to publicly assassinate him (a war hero) while circulating a message against their actions.
I felt it didn't quite fit the character I was writing for him to be like this, and trying to build this theme alongside the shadow villain fell apart. So I made Griffiths a patsy instead.
Ayers was a different problem. He was originally written as a survivor of the old NLF, and of the original Tribunes (the guys who vetoed the Assembly), who had used brain scan downloads to survive being killed. A much more antagonistic and demagogue-like freedom fighter who would intentionally try to bait Nick and the police into repressive actions in order to stir up protest support and international condemnation.
Then the Minnesota stuff happened IRL, literally as I was writing the first protest/riot scenes. I lost a ton of momentum here. The NLF's primary purpose in NW4 was to provide filler action scenes between the major events, and using protests for that (and especially painting them in a very specific way) felt too "ripped from the headlines" with a political bent for my liking.
I kept the NLF involvement, as it was important to the plot that they're building up and becoming more active across the islands (this book is a buildup to the finale, after all). They're still causing a lot of trouble, and are protesting. But I changed Jack himself to be more of a background leader, shifted the focus of the scenes the NLF were in (including the later involvement they have, such as Nick's realization of just how far-reaching and general NLF membership is), as well as how the NLF's movement has changed as it's become more violent.
Finally, the big change: the visit to Asgard becoming the centerpiece of the book.
Lots was happening after the first night with the NLF uprising, particularly with the court stuff and Sigma showing up. I forget exactly how I wanted it to play out originally, but I remember hitting a point where I knew I either had to find a way to cut stuff to get to Asgard sooner or else add a major action scene (which would massively delay it). That birthed the ambush scene in the CBD, and basically changed the entire book. I took the chance to introduce Lilith, and brought forward Ayers's arrest (he was going to be arrested after Asgard originally).
This event was very similar to what's happened to me in Mob Sorcery and Spellblade. For pacing reasons, I have to add something, and it means I have to shuffle stuff around or can't get to something big. In Mob, I often ended up shoving major events into the next book (the events of Books 4 and 5 were envisioned as part of Book 3 originally lmao). Spellblade did both.
With Neural Wraith, I have to solve the mystery, catch the villain, and wrap up the story in a single book. Very little can be pushed back. Whenever I make a major change like this, it often results in me spinning my wheels for a few days.
There was a point in the book where I wrote something relatively minor that I hadn't planned for and kept going. Later, I then realized that little thing would throw off later planned events in the outline and I wasn't willing to redo my outline at this stage (and it wasn't easy to write around it), so I spent hours going back over the past few thousands words erasing it from existence. I don't even remember what it was, but it cost me a half day of work at a crucial moment for a decision I made at the spur of the moment.
Neural Wraith is difficult to write in a very different way to the rest of my series for this reason. In order for the mystery and plot to make sense, I'm essentially writing a story from both ends at the same time. I can't just wing it and adjust the end result if I want it to make sense.
Not Escapist Enough
Probably the most consistent comment I've seen about the book is that Dupont's ending isn't as neat as many would prefer. The other is that the book/series is a bit heavy given current IRL happenings.
Both make sense, especially in a genre where many people explicitly read it to escape from real life.
In mysteries and police procedurals, the villain getting his comeuppance is such a given that it's basically the equivalent of the happily ever after in romances. People get mad about an "It's Chinatown" ending.
It's a difficult needle to thread, because Dupont is supposed to be dangerous and backed by powerful entities. There are elements within Aesir supporting her (which I think some missed, even though I'm pretty sure I explicitly named their existence?).
Nick's accusations are also very circumstantial. She knew she was going up against him and did everything possible to bury the evidence. It was a bit of a hail mary - he's pretty sure he knows who's responsible, but nailing her is hard. Hell, what if it turns out he's wrong? (It's a story. The MC is never wrong.)
I've gotten fairly mixed feedback over how obvious she is. Many people have picked her simply because she seemed suspicious, rather than any hard evidence. Part of me wonders if I should have kept Griffiths as the villain, as so few seemed to seriously suspect him (and I imagine lots of people would have gotten really mad).
The Financial Side
Part of me doesn't want to cover this, because it's often all everyone will talk about, but I've talked more about Neural Wraith's finance than any other series.
Overall, this did almost identically to Neural Wraith 2, only with two extra books in the series. Despite being a longer book, it relied much more on actual book sales than KU (I'm not sure if there's an algo change with KU, or if the book just isn't for the type of readers who prefer KU). Not many new readers picked up the series.
Overall, it did much better than I feared or expected, although I had hoped for better given the really good preorders. Amazon still dislikes the series, as it fell off so harshly once it came out. I do think the preorder and fanfare after 3 years helped it a lot, and I'm expecting worse sales for the final book. It'll be a happy ending for the series once I release Book 5 within the next year.
The plus side is that I'm much less dependent on new releases to maintain sales of Spellblade and Mob Sorcery. They continue to truck along and sell, and aren't really affected by Neural Wraith. Their omnibuses are beginning to get some nice traction. The real problem with NW3 was that Amazon basically consigned me to the shadow realm once it flopped, but that's not an issue this time. I can only hope that once Neural Wraith is finished it joins their ranks and builds its own momentum, and many more people discover it.
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Anyway, that's the rambling stuff I wanted to say. I'd love to hear any thoughts you had about the book or what I had to say.