Amy

“A romantic dinner?” Firanna parroted back at me, her lips twisting into a frown. “Is that truly the best you can come up with?”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Pauline said, drawing the attention of both the princess and myself. “You’re trying to get Bridgette to date you, aren’t you? I know I’m not her closest friend, but I do think I know her well enough to say that she’d enjoy the forthright approach.”

“Who is Bridgette’s closest friend, anyway?” I asked, causing Firanna’s head to snap back towards me. “What? I know it’s not the point, but… I’ve never really thought of it before…”

“Before you came along, I would have said it was Prince Jethroo,” Pauline supplied, causing me to blink at her in surprise.

“It’s true - she and my brother have always been quite close… She’s the only one he ever lets get away with ‘disrespecting’ him - the only one allowed to tell him when he made a mistake. She was practically his personal bodyguard and confidante before you showed up.”

“Me?” It was true that Bridgette had been a core confidante of the prince in the books, but… “What do I have to do with anything?”

“He’s mad that she chose to protect you, of course,” Firanna replied, shaking her head. “Not that Bridgette seems to be that broken up about it… In truth, he’s been putting distance between them for quite a while, with his insistence upon acting ‘the proper prince’ in public. Not to mention disregarding her advice at every turn when it comes to leaving poor Pauline alone.”

“Poor Pauline?” I asked, turning to her. “What does she mean by that? You enjoy his attention, don’t you?”

“Well… I…” She glanced at Firanna. “I think we’re getting a bit off topic, aren’t we?”

“We are,” Firanna agreed. “This is meant to be about my romance with Bridgette, not my brother’s attempts to woo the commoner girl - no offense, Pauline.”

“None taken, Lady Firanna,” Pauline replied, with a tired looking smile. “But again, I really do think you should consider Amy’s suggestion…”

“Confessing my feelings over dinner?” Firanna asked. “Isn’t that a bit too… simple?”

“Not at all!” Pauline insisted. “The problem is that Bridgette doesn’t see you romantically, right? Because in that case, changing how she views you is the first step!”

“Exactly!” I agreed, glad for the backup. In truth, I hadn’t put that much thought into it - a dinner date had simply seemed like a good idea, in my mind. Still, putting thought into it now… “Perhaps you could even cook it yourself?”

“Me? Cook?” Firanna asked, looking puzzled.

“If you think it’s beneath you, or some such-”

“N-no! Not if it will help me win her heart… but… I don’t know how to cook…”

“I could try to teach you,” Pauline suggested. “Though I’m not sure my cooking skills would be up to snuff for someone of your rank…”

“I actually had someone else in mind,” I confessed. “Not that I distrust your cooking skills, Pauline, but… Well, when it comes to professionally cooking food even a noble would salivate over, there’s only one person who comes to mind for me.”

“And who would that be?” Firanna asked, arching an eyebrow.

To that, I could only smile wryly. After all, there was only one person in this world I could truly afford to call on for such things.

***

Clara

***

“And so you come to me?” I asked, studying the bastard princess before me. I could likely send her packing with just a few words. I’d already told Bridgette of Firanna’s feelings for her, after all - making it rather late to try and dramatically reveal such a thing over dinner. Rightly, I probably should have told her that… but why would I do that when I could turn this annoyance into a benefit for my Lady?

“Well, you have been cooking Lady Amelia’s meals since childhood - at least according to Amy?”

“Of course you would know about that,” I murmured, shaking my head. At the same time, I pulled something from my pocket - a small screenstone that stilled the air around us. Lady Amelia had bid me to carry it around, and to use it whenever making plans we didn’t want the knight to overhear. This technically counted. “Regardless, you’re correct. I know how to cook - and I do believe I can teach… I also know Bridgette’s favorite meal. Which is precisely why I’m going to recommend that you take a different course.”

“Her favorite meal?” Firanna asked, clearly hooked already. “Isn’t it boar?”

“Monster boar, to be precise,” I corrected her. “Properly prepared, monster meat is not only tender and delicious but absolutely packed with mana. It’s akin to a minor mana potion - not enough to help you my Lady, but enough to energize someone.”

“Monster meat?” Firanna murmured, frowning. “It’s not something I’ve had before - more a meat for borderland nobles, really. The sorts who are surrounded with more monsters than they know what to do with… but if it’s what Bridgette likes, I suppose I could buy some…”

“I thought you wanted to contribute to this, Lady Firanna?” I asked, careful to keep my tone even as I laid my trap.

“I would say footing the bill is certainly a contribution,” she replied, sounding just a touch uncertain of herself. “And you just said you want to do the cooking.”

“I did volunteer to cook,” I confirmed, “but as far as simply buying the ingredients go… Well, that would be no different than simply taking her to a fancy restaurant. Hardly befitting an expression of your proper feelings.”

“So what would you suggest?” she asked. I could hear the annoyance in her tone, but also something else. Impatience.

“Well, why not hunt the beast yourself?” I asked.

“Myself?” Firanna demanded. “You would have me do the work of an adventurer?”

“I would have you prove your love for Bridgette with a quest,” I countered. “The sort knights go on to prove affection for their ladies. A bit backwards in this case, I admit, but still - can you really call it less than fitting?”

“I…” she frowned, clearly considering it. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“Well, I suppose you could join my Lady,” I suggested, my voice turning thoughtful. “She’s in need of beast cores, and was planning to go hunting soon in any case. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind parting with the meat, if you were to promise aid.”

“Hmph. She would be lucky to have me,” Firanna replied, putting her hands on her hips. “As one born with the blood of the royal family, I am of course a powerful magic user in my own right.”

“Of course,” I replied, internally rolling my eyes. As if my Lady’s magic wasn’t just as powerful. Still, she was still learning to wield her might, and was currently far from the power my true Mistress had once wielded. Firanna’s aid, therefore, might be the difference between a difficult battle and a simple takedown of a monster. “Still… it’s not as if she needs you…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Firanna demanded.

“Only that she could, by all rights, refuse you. Keep the meat for herself.”

“And why would she do that?” Firanna asked, clearly agitated. “You don’t mean to imply she intends to woo Bridgette for herself, do you?”

“Of course not,” I scoffed. “I merely mean that you’re not really her party member, or anything. She might want the meat to go to someone willing to partner with her permanently.”

“So what?” Firanna scoffed. “You’re suggesting I ally myself with her long-term? Promise to go on multiple adventures, in return for a one-time benefit?”

“It needn’t only be a one-time benefit,” I replied. “Why settle for one romantic dinner with Bridgette when you could have multiple?”

“That’s… but… wait a moment… isn’t Bridgette already working with Amy? As her party member?”

Drat. So she knew about that?

“All the more reason for you to join them,” I replied. “Unless you’d rather Bridgette and my Lady go alone, on harrowing adventures, slowly growing close to one another through life and death struggles? All. By. Themselves.”

“That! No! I’ll… I’ll go. I’ll… you don’t think I’ll be a third wheel, do you?”

“No, of course not,” I assured them. “Though, if you really want to avoid that…” I trailed off.

“What?” Firanna asked, leaning forward. “Tell me?”

“Well, it’s just… three people can be a bit awkward, but what about two sets of two? If you were to recruit another person… someone who perhaps could distract my Lady? Someone such as Pauline, who she can’t help but be conscious of…”

“Yes… Then she wouldn’t have nearly so much time to focus on Bridgete, would she?” Firanna murmured, narrowing her eyes.

“Just so,” I confirmed, a small smile touching my lips. “Not that my Lady could ever bring herself to ask Pauline. Too much history, you understand? But if you convinced her to volunteer I’m sure my Lady wouldn’t have it in her to resist…”

“So you just need me to incentivize Pauline?” Firanna asked, before letting out a soft laugh. “Easy. And here I thought you might actually demand something worrisome in return for your aid…”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I replied, bowing my head so that she couldn’t see my smile. It wouldn’t do if I let the bastard princess see how smug it was growing.

“Of course, for this first adventure you won’t want to bring Bridgette,” I added, almost as if it was an afterthought. “This is something you’re doing for her after all.”

“That’s right,” Firanna murmured.

“Which means you’ll probably need a fourth,” I added. “Someone who can identify herbs, perhaps? There’s some, magical and otherwise, that might do well when cooked into the meal. Not that any gatherer will really want to join a party that’s going to be using all the herbs for their own sakes - which means you might have to outright hire someone if you want them to come along on this… but I’m sure you have the funds for such a thing?”

“Of course,” Firanna promised, puffing up her chest. “Leave it to me - I’ll secure us the best team possible for collecting my beloved knight’s feast!”

“Perfect. I happen to know just who you can ask, too - a girl by the name of May. She’s quite obsessed with plants, according to what I’ve heard from the other servants - plants and alchemy. If she can keep what she finds in the future, she might even be willing to join you on future quests.”

“Right…” Firanna said, nodding happily - but then her brow furrowed. “Wait. Won’t that bring our total to five once Bridgette rejoins us?”

“Well, I don’t think it matters to you if she’s a fifth wheel,” I pointed out. “As long as Bridgette is yours and Pauline is distracting my Lady, what does it matter if there’s five people or four?”

What mattered was that my Lady would have the most powerful protector I could get her on this, her first hunting trip. Of course, that did mean leaving Bridgette out of things - but I was sure I could convince her to listen in for her name, in case they somehow ran into trouble, and once the first battle was out of the way my Lady would have both Bridgette and Firanna to keep her company on her adventures.

As for the May I mentioned… well, if Firanna could get her, that would honestly just be icing on the cake. Another source of income, and a direct supplier of spices for my cooking - not to mention the fact that she could help my Lady with alchemy. Though, according to my sources, she was a bit… eccentric…

Oh well. Surely it was nothing a literal princess like Firanna couldn’t handle?

~~~

Author's Notes

Excited to be 30 chapters deep! ...I mean, with the prologue, we're really 31.... and if you count the quasi 23.5, it's more like 32? (Or maybe 31.5 would be more appropriate?) But still! Chapter 30!

I'm... not sure how I feel about the chapter. To be honest, I've had a bit of a bad day, and depression is realllllly terrible right now... which is a big part of why you're getting this, and not My Oni Love in the first place... but I wanted to write something so... here we are! Tell me what you think? DX