*TW - self-harm, addiction, mental illness. (lyrics at end of post)
Hello humans,
It’s the end of yet another month, and today I have something special for you.
A brand new song.
This on is straight from the guts, and it’s called “Pretty Little Knife,”.
Here is Garry and myself playing it through for the first time, on acoustic guitar, and raw vocals.
This is nothing polished., it's just the bones.
It's quite a poppy, catchy number but the lyrics are pretty heavy.
I wrote it as a letter to the part of myself that used to seek escape through drinking, drugs, and self-harm.
It’s about addiction, depression and the desperation to silence it, even if the method is destructive.
It’s not easy to talk about these topics, but through the medium of song I have been able to express it, and that has always helped me stay grounded.
Though I don’t completely live in that darkness anymore, sometimes I need to revisit it, in order to keep things at bay.
Musically, it’s somewhere between acoustic Nirvana and early Placebo.
It’s likely to end up on the next Mishkin Fitzgerald solo album, but for you my lovely patrons - you can hear it today.
I’d love to know what you think.
Thanks for listening, and just so I don't leave you in the shadows, I am ok. In fact I’m in a great place right now… I’m just not sure I’m capable of writing happy songs, and I’m not sure you’d want me to, ha!
Love,Mishkin 🖤
PS - Hana and myself have a podcast coming out tomorrow on this very subject - and this song definitely come from “the poison well”.
PRETTY LITTLE KNIFE - LYRICS
Verse 1:
You’re all I wanna do
You’re everything I lack
When the moon is new
When the sun is black
I’m saving all my prayers
To holler in the cold
Pretty little knife
Rising in my throat
Chorus 1:
I’ll meet you in the modern age
Where pleasure is a point of view
Take me from my well of rage
And put the fear of God in you
And if I was an offering
I’d step into the back of your hearse
And you might feel a sudden sting
To lift us from this curse
Verse 2:
There’s nothing here to see
I shot my arrow straight
Humbled as I bleed
Glamoured in a haze
I’m saving all my time
To be with you in bliss
Warm inside the ice
Frozen as we kiss
Chorus 2:
I’ll meet you on the edge of the world
Where glory is a state of mine
Take me from my well of hurt
Leave this all behind
I’m pitiful under your gaze
You see me in my sinner’s truth
I’m giving away all my grace
Cos I can’t no to you
Bridge:
And as my body drifts away
I invite you once more to stay
And sink until I’m swimming with
The angels underneath their breath
This imitation, sweet mistake
I’m lifted from this human state
So curious, I kill the child
I said I loved but now deny, yeah
Chorus 3:
I’ll meet you on a razor’s edge
Where destiny is put on pause
Take me from my promises
Break me till I’m bored
It subtle but it still erodes
Numb under the weight of your arms
Even when it all implodes
I never thought you cause me harm