Aspect Advanced: [Will] (Tier 2) ➞ [Will] (Tier 3)
The thrumming of my Essence returning to stability all but forced my consciousness to stir, except instead of finding myself waking simultaneously physically and mentally—as I was used to—my mind stirred first.
Unable to understand what was transpiring, I waited all of what felt like a second for [Guided] to tell me what to do, then followed its instructions to start communing with my Essence.
As my circumstances were truly bizarre, however, the instant I touched upon my Essence, the intensity with which my existence unveiled itself to my [Awareness] was thoroughly disjointed, everything reduced to incoherent [Chaos].
Nothing insurmountable.
Experience and a timely nudge from [Guided] were all it took to properly reawaken and sharpen my [Focus], shortly enabling me to deepen my communion until I reached the [Clarity] and [Comprehension] I and [Guided] had come to expect of such a fundamental part of my [Cultivation] routine.
[Guided] (Origin)[Cultivation] (Tier 1)[Insight] (Tier 2)[Awareness] (Tier 1)[Darkness] (Tier 1)[Will] (Tier 3)[Focus] (Tier 2)[Harmony] (Tier 0)[Ambition] (Tier 0)
Be that as it may, when what I ended up making out from my own Essence came along with a discontinuous bunch of blurry memories, along with clearly excessive signs of overdevelopment...
I [Will]ed my body awake.
Something pushed back.
I ignored the resistance and [Will]ed my body awake.
Everything came back to me.
The temporary stabilization of my [Will] Aspect while in the midst of its Tier 3 advancement disorder.
The realization that, for presumably years to come, I would be limited to only a few hours of serious [Cultivation] per day, the rest spent in enforced idleness.
My [Will] Aspect suddenly flaring, urging me to unleash my everything, drastically amplified by all the frustrations I had accumulated.
[Guided] agreeing.
Finding Guardian Elric as the most convenient option to empty out my energy through [Will] healing.
Pushing beyond.
Forming the [Ambition] Aspect...
As everything came back to me in the wake of [Will]ing my physical vessel and its very fragile yet oh-so-wondrous brain awake, I [Focus]ed on holding onto my [Harmony], un[Will]ing to start contemplating anything before I was properly awake.
Short to follow my rousing was my [Awareness] expanding back to its natural state, that of a misshapen sphere reacting instinctively to any sound, movement, or even smell my senses captured.
I quickly got a hold of that by restoring it to its rightful centered form, a straightforward [Awareness] spread around me without any particular [Focus].
"Hold still, I'm trying to heal that properly."
"Another patient just came in from the field."
"Can someone bring me fresh bandages?"
"The swelling's gone down, that's a good sign."
"Try not to move too much. You're still recovering."
"I said, sit down. You're not fit to leave yet."
"The worst of it is over. Now it's a matter of giving your body enough rest."
From the boisterous atmosphere and the bed surrounded by metal-thread fabric partition I was located in, I was obviously in the infirmary, which was both good and bad news.
Because while my body and mind were whole as far as my [Awareness] could tell, I had no memories of having been brought here.
Not that such doubts couldn't be resolved in a matter of minutes.
Pushing the light blanket covering me aside, I felt my body protest for all of a second before I forced the numbness and stiffness aside and took to the air with one light beat of my wings.
When I closed in on the ceiling, I stopped to look at the ward from a full perspective and successfully located chief healer Cavidan.
He really wasn't that hard to recognize, considering he was an Iserin who liked to expose the metallic sheen of his skin.
"Hey," I mechanically greeted as I dove down to be eye-level with him, "Do you know why I am here?"
"Sure do. One of our healer apprentices found you taking a nap in Guardian Elric's ward, we tucked you in a bed, had Lorekeeper Avenorium do you an Essence [Assessment] after you didn't wake up for half a day, were told you were simply doing your things, and now here we are, four days of you being under later."
Four days?
"Had a good sleep? Well, if you don't mind, we're a bit swamped right now, and I'm not against receiving some help in exchange for that free retelling of your mishaps."
"I'm afraid that if I tried to help, you'll only end up with another patient. One whose Essence would have become volatile. It's a shame, really, because this same patient just advanced her [Will] Aspect to Tier 3 and is absolutely eager to test it," I told him in my flattest tone.
"Damn, Tier 3 [Will] Aspect already?" His face lit up like he had been the one to achieve it.
"That certainly deserves some manner of celebration. And you have all the time for it thanks to your ongoing overdevelopment thingy, right? I expect an invitation before the Order's expedition returns! Now shoo, we serious healers have serious work to do."
Nearly expecting [Guided] to urge me back to bed, my worries of endless indolence were mightily put to rest when, next, [Guided] commanded me to the sanctuary to resume what little research I had already initiated on the [Ambition] Aspect.
Exiting the busy ward, I leisurely made my way over the throng of healers and wounded alike, and in a matter of minutes, wound up outside the infirmary area.
Once things calmed down, my flight through the corridors similarly returned to normal, with many exchanged greetings and attempts at initiating small talks, principally small talks regarding my unconsciousness-induced absence.
I made short work of those attempts by capitalizing on my young age, which endowed me with the social capital to squarely ignore all that didn't immediately catch my attention.
Strangely, though, it appeared as time went on, everyone was growing wiser and wiser in respect to my overexploitation of this capacity, with many straight up calling out to me when I knowingly averted answering them, which told me I needed to start coming up with more diversion methods.
Stupid overdevelopment that denied me the most productive and practical [Secrecy] method.
When I eventually reached the sanctuary, I unironically welcomed the rules of [Silence] that suffused it as I made my way to the [Ambition] Aspect section.
There, a shelf filled with a grand total of twenty-four books and everything else filled with hopeless [Void] awaited me.
Of which I already read the five serious ones, having left the rest for hopefully never, in view of the fact that they belonged to the entertainment book category.
Meaning, the [Knowledge] those books comprised was conceivably as trust[Worthy] as the one contained within "Solaena's Journey - A Tale Of Seeking Meaning Through Tragedy".
Still, it wasn't like I had an alternative other than directly taking the matter to the likes of Lorekeepers or Magister Eliott.
And even then, there was no guarantee any of them could offer me more than I already learned on my own.
Hence, cleaning up the bit of dust that settled on top of my nearest booknest location, I emptied the whole [Ambition] Aspect section—a tenth-filled shelf—and commenced what counted for in-depth [Ambition] Aspect research in the Red Sand Sector.
Approximately twelve hours later, the first signs of everyday exhaustion having yet to manifest, having finished reading everything while having had the time to go fetch my Scribe's kit, I wrapped up my in-depth [Ambition] Aspect research.
A big waste of time that could only be positively viewed as a way of idling my time away was what this research turned out to be.
Considered a First Order Aspect, the [Ambition] Aspect was mostly synthesized using the [Talent] Aspect line, the [Determination] Aspect line, and an Aspect that perfectly aligns with one's inner [Ambition].
Much like the [Will] Aspect, the [Ambition] Aspect presented itself as being totally reliant on the concept it was formed upon, with all of its latent potency originating from the [Ambition] of the Essence Entity who formed it.
In other words, so long as one was driven by their [Ambition]s, then the [Ambition] Aspect would, until they couldn't bear its burden anymore, support them in whatever way was necessary.
Including pushing oneself beyond one's limits.
Which made for a very attractive narrative factor for those wishing to write about a seemingly omnipotent Aspect once advanced to the likes of Tier 99 through inane circumstances.
How I ended up forming it was not something I could ensure having solved, but from what my re-reading of the five serious books on the [Ambition] Aspect, mainly their synthesis parts, culminated in...
I probably achieved it all through [Will] alone, with my [Will] Aspect having self-sufficed due to it being simultaneously...
First, a closely related Aspect of the [Determination] Aspect line.
Second, an Aspect that perfectly aligned with my [Ambition]s.
And third... one way or another... a manifestation of my [Talent]...?
That, or I simply embodied the concept of [Ambition] to such a degree, for such an extended period of time, that four days ago it culminated in my Essence being forced to form it.
In any case, I doubted I was the first to have formed the [Ambition] Aspect as a sort of fundamental Aspect.
Actually, it was so similar to the [Will] Aspect in the way it manifested that it being sorted as a First Order Aspect seemed more like an erroneous classification than anything.
As for what it meant to me in light of what I remembered from my first utilization of it, with hindsight helping me make further sense of what I had done...
It was an unexpected but significant optimization of my long-term Essence development.
While it was neither the [Purity] nor the [Inspiration] Aspects, which I still intended to form as soon as my Essence allowed, its nature inherently made it fully aligned with my objectives.
Should my Essence be corrupted, my [Ambition] would naturally shift toward ensuring my continued survival through overcoming whatever threatened me.
I could, for example, with the present adequate tools at my disposal, in exchange for bearing its associated burden, elevate my [Harmony] to a level at which I could expediently resolve whatever afflicted me, without spending months fighting for ownership of my own Essence in a dark cell.
Also, for all its unexpectedness, I had already long included the [Ambition] Aspect among the Aspects I was all but quasi-certain to eventually form.
Its core concept was simply too intertwined with my Path for that not to happen, a realization I had come to months ago after a discussion with Warrior Elorn pointed me toward it.
What else was there to say?
The [Ambition] Aspect—like the [Vitality] Aspect—was simply one of those Aspects that naturally fit my Path to [Perfection], and refusing to acknowledge its connection with me would only be denying myself.
My research ending rather inconclusively compared to what I [Ideal]ly expected of it, I tidied up my booknest and returned all the books to the hopeless [Ambition] Aspect section.
With everything I could do read and researched, only self-experimentation remained.
As that was something my Essence could not presently bear, however, I finished jotting down all of my meagre [Insight]s in my notebook...
Then promptly forgot about it.
For [Guided] and I agreed that the time had come to start redefining idleness.
Investing all my idle time on logistics auditing was fine and all until I formed the [Inspiration] Aspect, but that had never been an end-all be-all.
It was always meant to be an intermediary step, one during which I continued amassing [Insight]s on how to transform idle time into long-term Essence development with minimal, pseudo-nonexistent impact on short-term Essence development.
It looked like an impossible conundrum to solve, as no matter how intensely I prioritized and specialized my current [Cultivation] routine, my ever-rising Essence development efficiency shortly rendered all my progress [Void].
Because, perhaps, it was impossible.
Nevertheless, in the unlikeliest of times and places—during my [Ambition] formation frenzy—something of a proto-[Insight] was born and had never truly left me since, even fragmented in a million pieces.
I had an Aspect that, according to all but one-thousandth of the Essence doctrines I read, couldn't develop itself naturally, no matter how much [Exertion] or [Cultivation] it was put through.
An Aspect that absolutely required the support of my entire Essence to grow even a sliver more potent.
I had an Origin Aspect.
What if...
...there existed an [Exertion] that mobilized solely [Guided]?
One that did not require me to think, act, react, decide, [Focus], [Will] anything, or otherwise involve myself in any capacity?
An [Exertion] so exclusive and specific to my Origin Aspect that when it was carried out, my Essence would have no choice but to accept its execution, but without having the possibility of incurring development as a consequence of it?
The assumptions my [Insight] was based on were so absurd that I didn't know where to begin.
Still, that did not stop me from coming up with a name for what such an ideal [Exertion] would even be called.
[Guided] Essence [Cultivation].
Whether it was real or unreal, possible or impossible, with [Ambition] having spontaneously inserted itself onto my Path alongside my now Tier 1 [Cultivation] Aspect and Tier 3 [Will] Aspect, I had little doubt that my utmost Essence development efficiency had risen by an entire Strata since I had last tested it.
Which meant I would have all but a couple of hours during every one of my days to find out exactly how unreal and impossible my [Insight] turned out to be.
And that wasn't including the weeks [Guided] was adamant I took first to reestablish my overdevelopment safety margin...
I foresaw a long and languid period of [Insight]-seeking [Cultivation] awaiting me...
◇ ◈ ◈ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◈ ◈ ◇
Going to sleep while being prohibited from attempting any [Harmony] [Cultivation] shenanigans, which I knew had the potential to elevate my sleep to another level.
Waking up to a boiling Essence barren of any potential for further development, then being told to find a location to commence my first [Insight]-seeking [Cultivation] session.
Sustaining myself off of the feeblest [Cultivation] I could, while being forbidden from entering the territory of minimalist [Cultivation] [Mastery].
Releasing logistics discrepancies whenever [Guided] judged it would produce the most [Inspiration].
Visiting the sanctuary and asking Archivists and Lorekeepers to seek answers that were evidently beyond them.
Such was the price of my [Ambition]s.
No challenge.
No triumph.
No advancement.
Only an endless journey in pursuit of concretizing and [Insight] that ceaselessly revealed itself to be farther and farther out of reach.
A week of such a decadent routine later marked the first month since the Order's expedition departed.
From the semi-reliable rumors circulating through the Prime Temple, Red Sand Rift City had finally stabilized.
All the pointless power-grabbing and needless destruction of potential had supposedly settled back to what they were before nearly all the promising individuals once anticipated to rule over the city's future interests chose to throw their lot in with the Order in pursuit of a brighter Path.
As so many books taught, Civilization abhorred [Void]s, and what Red Sand Rift City recently lived through had merely been the first instance of such [Void]s being filled.
When the Order's expedition returned, after those hot-blooded enough to embark on it had time to cool their heads, the second instance would undoubtedly begin.
And that one promised to be bloodier than what already transpired, with the potential to redistribute far more than mere surface interests.
As far as I was concerned, however, this second wave could be a hundred times more violent and vicious, and I still would not have any intention of involving myself in it in any way.
The best I could wish for, honestly, was that this second round wouldn't start in earnest until the Fairy House had had the time to make whatever commercial killing they hoped to make, and we had put a solid Sector's worth of distance between the city and ourselves by then.
I genuinely hoped that's how things would unfold, though I knew to temper my expectations when it came to such uncontrollable factors.
I was still far from qualifying as what books liked to call a "player", after all.
Hopefully, I would earn that status before my eighth birth year was up, having solved my overdevelopment disorder, with a growing [Faith] in the Everwell Sector, and...
And with at least one [Guided] Essence [Cultivation] [Exertion] found.
Just found, not necessarily practical or even reasonable.
Because when the second month since the order's expedition departed ended, with all my worries about my Essence development efficiency having slowly confirmed themselves, I still hadn't found a single clue about where my [Ideal] [Insight] could possibly lead.
I tried having [Guided] guide itself with all manners of extreme commandments mixed in, easy and impossible, singular or numerous, rapid or sustained...
Didn't work.
I tested having [Guided] do the same with me, resulting in me experiencing what it felt like to be thoroughly unable to follow through with being [Guided] for the first time.
It failed, and made me sufficiently nauseous as to prompt some minor amount of Essence development, with me having to resort to some heavy [Harmony] [Cultivation] to recover my serenity.
So, really, complete failure.
I deepened my research on Origin Aspect to, arguably, the level of a proper Archivist, but all I got out of it was a confirmation that Origin Aspects were what they appeared to be.
They were the first Aspect formed by an Origin Essence Entity that inherited from somewhere—generally their parents or the environment—the characteristic of suffusing the first Aspect formed throughout its entire Essence.
As a direct consequence of this transformation, an Origin Aspect could not be synthesized or advanced in a way that made logical sense, with the sole recorded exceptions having required extreme circumstances usually involving Essence corruption.
As for the origination of Origin Aspect,...
Twin Origin Essence Entities seemingly never ended up forming the same Origin Aspect, or if they apparently did, it was more often than not simply because they couldn't be differentiated using the Nexus language.
And if an Origin Essence Entity was so pathetic as to fail to form its first Aspect while they still lacked any sort of [Awareness] despite all the inherent advantages they had, then those rare few literally ended up with the ability to pick their Origin Aspect.
I already read about all that before, and it didn't help me at all to read it again.
Thus, Origin Aspect research built on top of the Red Sand Sector's Faith Of The Aspects' Prime Temple was another dead end.
As a last resort, with all other avenues having failed me, I tried [Will]ing memories from when I formed my Origin Aspect into existence.
Or was it back into existence?
I didn't even know in which stage of my embryonic development I formed [Guided], so whether my brain was sufficiently developed to have somehow memorized or plainly recorded the proto-sensations I had then...
What's more, would I have gone through any manner of communion that could helpfully timestamp exactly when I carried out the [Exertion] that resulted in me forming it?
With no other promising alternatives after I failed to "effortlessly" [Will] nonexistent memories and sensations back to me, I ultimately had to resolve myself to attempt this absurdity to the highest standard I could.
That meant...
It was time for my [Ambition] Aspect to fully unveil itself for the second time.