Solaena's [Guided] Journey Chapter 62

An hour after coming to a decision, after crossing several halls, being redirected twice, waiting at three separate reception points, and answering questions regarding my age, Aspects, previous instruction, and local affiliations, all while being informed that any lie would result in my permanent blacklisting from all Pulse Of Eternity affiliated locations...

I was informed that, to determine whether I deserved the opportunity to qualify as an Aspirant, I would have to undergo a qualification trial lasting approximately two months.

I accepted without hesitation, surprised that everything had proceeded so smoothly and exactly according to what the booklet said.

When I didn't reconsider after being given some time, the attendant vanished and returned four hours later, carrying a small file I needed to sign with drops of my blood in dozens of places.

Afterward, she ensured I understood everything I was committing myself to before finally escorting me to an upper floor.

"The Restorer assigned to oversee your qualification trial is Xafsa. I will leave you to make your acquaintance, and I sincerely hope you haven't lied, because your healing capabilities and knowledge will soon be put to the test."

With that, the attendant turned around, leaving me to open the bulky door by myself.

Surprisingly, it slid open easily beneath my push, and my [Awareness] momentarily [Focus]ed on the mechanism that enabled this opening before I turned my attention to the room beyond.

A wide chamber divided into a dozen vacant workstations, one of which was considerably more ornate than the others.

Occupying it was what appeared to be a stationary crystalline formation positioned near the center of the chamber.

"You are Solaena."

When that same crystalline formation suddenly produced sound, I nearly froze in place at the utter unexpectedness, and it was [Guided] that took over.

"Yes. This is also my first time meeting a crystalloid. I apologize in advance for any slights I may involuntarily cause," my mouth said.

Once I finished speaking, I momentarily [Will]-enhanced my [Awareness] to better understand who I was dealing with.

What I soon discerned was beyond anything I had ever read.

A body consisting entirely of countless crystalline filaments intertwined together.

Some transparent.

Some milky white.

Others carrying faint traces of pulsing gold, which burned bright to my [Awareness].

All those crystalline filaments contracted, loosened, and slid across one another like exposed muscle fibers, allowing the four limbs currently joined seamlessly with its main body to move in a manner that made the lack of joints almost irrelevant.

There was no head or face I could recognize.

Only layers of finer filaments arranged around several softly glowing nodes, which I assumed were sensory organs.

Overall, for my first encounter with a crystalloid...

It absolutely proved the archetypical beauty of its morphological classification, if in an immensely impractical-looking and biologically incomprehensible manner.

"Advance apology rejected," its voice emerged through vibrations passing across its entire body.

"Allow me to proceed through the introductory process. Please answer with yes or no. You requested qualification through independent demonstration."

"Yes," [Guided] made me answer before I realized I needed to answer anything due to the absence of an interrogative pitch at the end of the sentence.

"You have yet to form the [Vitality] Aspect."

"Yes."

"You possess no formal qualifications recognized within the Everwell Sector."

"Yes."

"You have no sponsor."

"Yes."

The crystalline filaments composing its main body shifted in a mesmerizing pattern.

"Good. If you fail, determining why will be simple."

It extended one limb from its main body and pointed toward an empty workstation.

"Patients personally selected by me will soon be directed toward this chamber. Prepare to display every healing application you currently possess."

"Explain every observation, diagnosis, and procedure you perform. Failure to report an inability to proceed due to misplaced [Ambition] will be sanctioned with the immediate termination of your qualification trial."

"Yes," [Guided] once again didn't miss the expectation that I answer and then immediately took me toward the workstation so I could begin familiarizing myself with it.

Eight minutes later, the first patient was escorted into the chamber.

And so my trial began.

From the moment the patient arrived, still appearing half-confused by what had probably been a brief explanation of how he would be used as a training patient in exchange for what I suspected would be some reduction in treatment costs, I began explaining everything I did without omitting a single detail.

How I used my [Awareness], enhanced through [Will], to locate damages and anomalies through experience, species baseline, and my healing and biological [Knowledge].

How I intended to force the damaged tissues to return toward a prior healthy state, first through physical stitching, as this one was easily accessible, and then through [Will] healing.

How I distinguished between damage that could be immediately repaired and damage whose correction risked causing greater harm.

Already, nevertheless, with this very first patient, Xafsa began interrupting me constantly throughout my treatment and explanations.

"What constitutes a prior healthy state? What would you instead classify as a prior functional state?"

"How do you distinguish structural restoration from forced adaptation?"

"What happens when your understanding of the original anatomy is incorrect?"

"How do you prevent healing around an embedded contaminant?"

"What if the damage is deliberate and sustained by the patient's Path?"

"What if the patient possesses no flesh?"

Some questions I answered adequately without requiring assistance.

Others exposed gaps I let [Guided] fill for me.

Some... neither I nor [Guided] had satisfactory answers to provide.

Whenever that happened, I swiftly admitted my ignorance while reporting what little I did know and explaining how I would proceed based upon it.

Then came patient after patient.

Damaged tissues.

Impaired organs.

Severe blood loss.

Poisoning.

Infections.

Necrosis.

Severed limbs...

I performed as well as I could.

Xafsa observed.

Sometimes it stopped me before I began.

Sometimes halfway through.

Sometimes only after I believed I had succeeded.

Sometimes it intervened directly, displaying unworldly dexterity through its hundreds of prehensible crystalline filaments and its four main limbs.

And always with an explanation, of course.

"You restored the vessel, but it needs to be narrower in this area."

"You repaired the tissue while failing to account for the peculiar folds within the subdermal layer."

"You could have stopped the bleeding much earlier and with less effort by stimulating the underlying muscle group."

"You assumed symmetry where this species possesses none. This is how you should have proceeded."

Each failure became new [Knowledge].

Each correction became a new [Insight].

I retained as much of it as I could.

[Guided] retained everything.

Before I knew it, the first session ended after three hours, when I reported that I was approaching the limits of my energy reserve unless I resorted to my [Ambition] Aspect.

I was given four hours to rest, then ordered to return and resume my qualification trial.

Like that, four hours later, I was back with my energy two-thirds restored.

And before I knew it, this became my new routine.

Session after session, Xafsa continued overseeing me.

Correcting me.

Questioning me.

And reminding me of the consequences of failure.

Meanwhile, the questions I received expanded beyond isolated injuries into anatomy.

Then diagnosis.

Then entire species.

The variety present within the Everwell Sector rendered much of what I had learned in Red Sand Rift City inadequate.

Somehow, Xafsa always found a way to invite a patient possessing exactly the anatomical complexity required to prove its latest point.

Some possessed multiple hearts.

Others possessed none.

Some distributed thought throughout their entire bodies.

Some naturally replaced damaged organs.

Some considered wounds that would kill a human to be temporary inconveniences.

Some relied upon symbiotic organisms my [Awareness] initially identified as foreign intrusions.

Several species possessed bodily fluids that reacted in unexpected ways and required entirely specific treatments.

Whenever Xafsa proved its point, it then proceeded to heal what I had been unable to address with a simple touch of one crystalline filament and a pulse of golden [Vitality], followed by an explanation of what it did.

Sometimes, though, either because it was said in a deliberately obtuse manner or because it evoked concepts I lacked the [Comprehension] and underlying [Knowledge] to understand, I and [Guided] failed to follow the explanation, which was swiftly uncovered through subsequent interrogations.

Despite that...

My qualification trial wasn't terminated.

Perhaps partly because [Guided] didn't forget anything I was told.

Perhaps because I repeatedly demonstrated my ability to endure.

Instead, as days passed and soon became weeks, I was given written examinations.

Then unannounced scenarios.

Then, patients whose true conditions were concealed behind misleading symptoms.

And before long, Xafsa assigned me hundreds of texts to read, ranging from anatomical summaries, diagnostic manuals, lists of common Everwell Sector illnesses and diseases, to introductions to Pulse protocols and records of healing failures severe enough to have altered the organization's rules.

I studied between every trial session, thanking my exhaustion-resistance [Cultivation] whenever fatigue crept in.

Then I applied what I learned.

Blood flow.

Pressure.

Temperature.

Tissue integrity.

Nervous activity.

Foreign influence.

Natural adaptation.

My [Insight]s barely kept pace as I constantly reorganized everything that I observed, learned, and practiced into deeper and deeper analyses.

Ultimately, under that semi-intense [Cultivation] regimen—which slowly but surely eroded my overdevelopment safety margin—my [Will] healing became yet more optimized.

More precise.

And that was without accounting for the ease with which Xafsa [Guided] me toward uncovering basic applications of [Harmony] and [Purity] in my healing that, while I could have discovered them on my own, would have certainly demanded fortuitous [Insight]s.

Like employing [Harmony] to reveal relationships between biological systems I previously addressed separately.

Or using [Purity] to distinguish with abnormal [Clarity] what naturally belonged within a body from what had invaded, accumulated, or been imposed upon it.

By the time two months had passed and Xafsa had transformed our latest sessions into a tour of the Pulse Tower's worst-case patients to demonstrate the immense gap remaining between my healing abilities and those of trained Pulse healers, I genuinely didn't know if my qualification trial had gone well or badly.

But as I made my way toward the first chamber we met in after being summoned, what I did know for certain was that I hadn't spent those two months accomplishing nothing, and that the likelihood of failing my qualification trial was actually exceedingly low.

Why would Xafsa have gone through so much trouble otherwise?

When all was said and done, I had proven during those two months that I possessed every quality the Pulse Of Eternity ought to seek within one of its members, whether by allowing my genuine traits to shine...

Or by being [Guided] into emphasizing those I didn't naturally express.

When I slid the chamber door open and flew inside, Xafsa naturally stood beside the central workstation, its crystalline filaments contracting and relaxing in slow waves.

"Your qualification trial has concluded, Solaena. You have qualified to become a trial Pulse Aspirant."

Just as it had conducted itself from the moment I met it and throughout the two months that followed, without maintaining any suspense and without delay or preamble, it abruptly revealed the result of my qualification trial as if it were a basic fact.

I liked that.

"What follows, should you continue, is first and foremost intensive study and practice. You will maintain your current status while your work is supervised by various Menders and Restorers, from whom you will also receive instruction alongside other trial Aspirants."

Its filaments shifted.

"More relevant to you personally, from what I have grasped of your current psyche and Path, you will gain access to the foundational medical repositories available to those of the Aspirant rank."

"If you do not falter, then within months or years, depending on your abilities, you will accumulate the practical and academic requirements necessary to formally attain the Aspirant rank and become a recognized member of the Pulse Of Eternity."

Another brief shift passed through its body.

"As for my personal [Assessment], hear it and do with it what you [Will]."

"Your [Awareness] is more than adequate for the Aspirant rank, and I fully expect you to encounter no difficulty developing it until it meets the requirements of a Mender."

"Your [Will] healing is flexible, enduring, and accurate. Your ability to incorporate new [Knowledge] into it is commendable."

"Commendable enough that I lowered the threshold applied to your theoretical [Knowledge], which is frankly inadequate, though it remains generally applicable to situations expected to be handled by an Aspirant."

"That is no fault of your own, as you were educated within a Sector containing an extremely narrow distribution of species, environmental influences, illnesses, and available physiological treatments, but ensure you swiftly address the deficiency, or others will take issue with it."

"Yes," I answered once I caught the subtle indications that Xafsa had finished speaking.

"On another topic, from what I have pieced together of your history and gleaned of your character, while I have yet to ascertain the respective [Truth] of either, it is evident that their combination with your [Ambition] and Path makes you a sufficiently unique prospect to warrant considerations not ordinarily granted to trial Aspirants."

"Therefore, I am willing to offer you a station as one of my personal aides."

The offer came so directly that I spent several seconds evaluating whether I had misunderstood or misheard it.

"Be aware, however, that unlike assistants or auxiliaries, personal aides are expected to remain under their patron until they attain an equivalent rank or exceptional circumstances alter the arrangement," Xafsa unremittingly pursued.

I didn't answer.

I didn't know what to answer.

Neither did [Guided].

That wasn't how I had expected things to unfold.

And as this was all new information I had yet to come into contact with, as such, I had absolutely no idea what short-, medium-, or even long-term ramifications choosing to become Xafsa's personal aide might entail.

It certainly sounded as though it would offer me more than the traditional path expected of a trial Aspirant.

More direct instruction.

Greater exposure to difficult patients.

A patron already familiar with my abilities, weaknesses, objectives, and who spoke and acted with the same uncompromising rationality I did.

All for the seemingly "insignificant" price of remaining under Xafsa until I attained the rank of Restorer—or, I presumed, until circumstances significant enough to dissolve the arrangement emerged.

The only major unknown of this arrangement was whether it would obstruct the pursuit of my foremost objective.

Solving my overdevelopment disorder.

Even now, after a mere two months of semi-regular [Will] healing [Cultivation], following what had been a year-and-two-month-long journey—assuming the Resurgence Era calendars of the Red Sand and Everwell Sectors were synchronized—its familiar consequences had begun rearing their heads again as my safety margin diminished further and further.

For that reason alone...

"Will this arrangement truly not prevent me from pursuing my own research projects?" I asked.

"It will not," Xafsa answered without hesitation.

"My personal aides are not prohibited from conducting independent research. You will, however, have to find the time to dedicate to such projects yourself, as I will not tolerate repeated delays during the periods in which you are expected to perform your duties as my personal aide."

I remained silent, my mind churning.

Was that really it?

Thousands of thoughts emerged regarding how well my Path harmonized with healing compared to the hundreds of other disciplines that could potentially lead me toward something better.

One by one, [Guided] and my accumulated [Insight]s began sorting through them, seeking-

"You are being indecisive," Xafsa suddenly said, its sensory nodes brightening faintly.

"Maybe," [Guided] acknowledged. "But you probably have no idea where I should begin resolving the overdevelopment disorder plaguing my Path, or you would have already told me."

"How astute of you to determine that I am a [Vitality] healer, which is neither a Faith Seeker nor an Essence Scholar, and certainly not an authority on Essence disorders."

Despite my slight provocation, Xafsa's filaments merely tightened and relaxed in a slow, nearly imperceptible wave.

"However, if you ask whether the Pulse Of Eternity can help you investigate it, then the only answer I can give you is a tentatively confident yes."

Xafsa extended one of its filaments, picked up a file bearing my name, and placed it directly before me.

"As I already stated, as my personal aide, you would be permitted to pursue your own individual research project."

"If your findings prove sufficiently valuable, that project could eventually be recognized as formal Pulse research."

"And, for your information, it would not be the first time a trial Aspirant devised a project of such value that its sole contribution fulfilled their academic requirements up to the Lifewarden rank, along with granting them access to normally rank-restricted resources, including [Knowledge] repositories."

Before I could respond, Xafsa continued.

"There is another factor you should consider."

"[Will]. [Awareness]. [Insight]. [Harmony]. [Purity]. [Clarity]. [Ambition]. Your present Aspects provide the barest foundation from which you might begin forming the [Vitality] Aspect."

"Whether you choose to pursue that Path now or years from now, having a teacher show you the way will remain preferable to personally discovering every method by which its formation can fail."

"Especially when most texts concerning the [Vitality] Aspect are restricted to those of Mender rank and will therefore be unavailable to you until you attain it."

That... was maybe the strongest argument yet.

I considered things further.

Xafsa's core argument wasn't that becoming its personal aide or joining the Pulse would provide immediate answers to my overdevelopment disorder and desire for [Knowledge], as joining the Prime Temple potentially could.

No.

This course of action offered nothing so direct.

Instead, it would give me a stronger foundation from which to seek that [Knowledge].

A realistic course of action, rather than an [Ideal]istic one.

"Additionally," Xafsa continued yet again, "if you intend to be recognized as a prodigy worth nurturing, I feel compelled to inform you that merely displaying talent does not suffice."

"The only reason we are having this discussion is that I judged both your present value and the possibility of your future value worth the inconvenience of making you my personal aide."

Its filaments shifted.

"With, I should add, considerably greater emphasis upon your future value."

"For just as the Faith members you visited informed you in kinder and more civilized words, every major institution within the Everwell Sector receives applicants possessing unusual Aspects, influential lineages, powerful sponsors, exceptional foundations, or achievements accumulated within environments you have never encountered."

"In your present circumstances, unless you have concealed prominent elements of your Path, beginning with the Pulse is as favorable a position as you could reasonably aspire to obtain."

"Our rigidity and exigencies burden our members, but they also make recognition granted by the Pulse difficult to dismiss."

Xafsa raised one limb slightly.

"Take, for example, how I was granted unrestricted access to the inner archives of the Crystal Mountain, a repository of [Knowledge] ordinarily closed to nonmembers, solely by presenting proof of my rank as a Restorer."

"And do take into account that I am far from being an exceptional Restorer standing upon the threshold of advancement. My rank alone was considered sufficient assurance of my competence, conduct, and value."

"Of course, all of this assumes that the Pulse's repositories do not already contain what you seek."

"Essence development disorders."

"Essence mutations."

"Essence corruption."

"Aspect incompatibilities."

"Species design."

"Environmental adaptation."

"Failed advancements."

"Each subject might sound like it strays further and further from what one might initially associate with an institution dedicated to [Life], yet the Pulse possesses extensive records concerning all of them. Some of which I have studied personally."

"That is simply because centuries spent as the foremost healing institution have given the Pulse reason to acquire [Knowledge] from nearly every field imaginable."

"Knowledge you might never have considered seeking."

"Knowledge that might include precisely what you need."

Xafsa's sensory nodes remained fixed upon me.

"So, in summary, the Pulse may be stringent regarding rank and hierarchy."

"Its prodigies may not receive superior opportunities for development or be granted authority, resources, or [Knowledge] beyond what they have earned."

"But isn't that exactly the environment you ought to seek under your present circumstances?"

I didn't answer.

Neither did I deny its reasoning.

If everything Xafsa had said proved true, then this more and more appeared to be an extremely favorable arrangement.

It wouldn't solve my overdevelopment disorder.

It wouldn't grant me immediate access to everything the Pulse possessed.

It would bind me to Xafsa until I attained a rank that could take years to reach.

But...

It would provide me with a legitimate path toward repositories potentially containing [Knowledge] directly relevant to my Path, all while enabling me to pursue solving my overdevelopment disorder as an independent project with potentially massive returns.

Settling for it would also allow me to stop losing time finding a better course of action.

That... sounded mostly agreeable.

Still, while Xafsa had just reminded me not to be indecisive, I also wouldn't make hasty decisions.

"I am tempted to agree, and I will definitely think this decision over while I explore the Everwell Sector," I ultimately said, [Guided] doing its best to employ diplomatic words.

Xafsa's filamentary body language displayed no surprise.

"I will grant you one week to determine whether superior opportunities are available to you," it answered shortly. "My offer will remain valid for that duration. Afterward, it will be withdrawn and will not be reiterated."

"Understood. Thank you," I said, then spun right back toward the door without hesitation.

Though as I left the chamber to go fetch my effects, I had already begun coming to terms with the likely result.

Joining the Pulse under Xafsa's patronage wasn't a direction I had anticipated finding...

But it was a direction.

What's more, it was a mostly agreeable one in the absence of an [Ideal] course of action that did not appear to exist.