In theory he’s supposed to work on his thesis. But nothing of substance comes to mind. Just yesterday he discovered he loves putting stuff up his ass, and just yesterday, Jimin came all over his face.
He groans, sinks his head down, rests it against his desk. He’s already jerked off twice since Jimin left this morning, but he’s chubbing up in his sweats again.
Does this happen to all late bloomers? Is it cause he just discovered he’s bi that his entire body is lust-wired or is it all Jimin’s fault?
Whatever it is, he can’t concentrate for shit.
Not only is Jimin constantly on his mind, but he’s still contemplating what to tell Siyeon too. Or, more so, how to tell Siyeon. If he should go over, or call, or send a message, none of it seems appropriate.
Not saying anything isn’t appropriate either, but god, it’s so much easier. The coward way out. It’s just that.. well, despite how much he never really wanted to be in a relationship in the first place, it is his first long commitment, and she deserves some clarity.
So he just sends her a quick message, a hey, when can you meet up? Better than the “we need to talk” cliche. He’ll just have to tell her face to face, even though it will suck so bad.
But at least he can tell Jimin he made an effort.. and maybe that’s enough to earn a little kiss tonight. Just a small one, like this morning, but on his lips instead. A little peck on the lips, that’s not too bad right?
He only realises he’s smiling when his cheeks start to hurt, and then he quickly sits back up, shakes his head.
Focus.
————————
He’s got it so bad. His stomach and chest keep fluttering each time he thinks about Jimin coming home. He even went to the supermarket early just to get good ingredients for the meal he wants to make.
No more cheap noodles, he’ll make a proper pasta this time.
Just the idea of Jimin coming home, smelling his delicious food, getting that neck squeeze.. it has his cheeks burning up.
That’s how he knows he’s got it bad. He’s not even thinking about just sex, about that drawer full of toys, he’s just thinking about Jimin eating his food, Jimin’s eye smile, Jimin’s scent.
In all honesty he hasn’t even checked his phone after he sent that message to Siyeon; dealing with that today just takes away from his daydream time. Tomorrow he’ll go see her, and break up, but now..
Now he’s just waiting for Jimin to come home.
Maybe instead of getting right into it.. they could watch a movie or something. That way he could sneak close, they could cuddle a little under a blanket, Jimin could play with his hair.
Yeah, this is definitely the worst he’s ever had it. A big fat crush. It’s been so long since he felt this way, like years and years when he was giddy like this; looking through romantic comedy recommendations on Netflix.
He sets it up completely, already put the blanket on the armrest of the couch, turned the heater down a bit, lit a candle on the small coffee table.
Perfect..
The pasta is done the exact moment Jimin walks through the front door. He almost walks up to take off his jacket for him, but that might be a little too much. He’s not even sure if Jimin likes him back, romantically speaking.
Can’t think about it much either, when Jimin walks up to him he’s got that pretty, blinding smile on his face.
“I can get used to this sight.” Jimin’s eyes run down his body, and back up. “The apron looks good on you.”
Ah, he thought Jimin might like that. Nevertheless, the compliment makes his cheeks heat up a little, and he just mutters a thank you as he gives the pasta a last whirl.
Jimin steps right next to him, his hand already making that familiar way up to the back of his neck. And just that soft squeeze has his knees weak.
“Smells delicious.”
“Good.” He bites back a smile, but the corner of his mouth curls up anyway. “It’s ready, so take a seat.”
He casts Jimin a glance, and oh god— he’s handsome today too. His dark hair already a little disheveled from a day of hard work, eyes a little puffy, plump lips stretched into that smile, all his teeth showing, especially that front one that is just the tiniest bit crooked.
It’s too hard to resist, and since Jimin gave him one this morning, he just returns the favour, presses a chaste kiss on his cheek.
It’s probably uncool, the way his stomach flips, but Jimin’s cute little “oh” as he caresses the spot makes that all dissipate.
Fuck he’s so down bad, his lips tingle as if they just touched something magical. And even as they sit down for dinner, they keep tingling a little bit throughout.
“You really know how to cook.” Jimin takes another serving, his third one already. “I’ll try to cook for you one day too.”
Is it normal to stare at someone with heart eyes when they eat your food like this? He’s just been smiling at Jimin this whole time like an idiot.
Under the table, Jimin’s ankle curls around his own, another touch he’s getting familiar with, fills him with warmth.
“I was.. thinking..” He starts. “maybe we could watch a movie?”
Smooth, he did that smoothly.
Jimin looks at him mid-bite, blinks once. He swallows then, looks over his shoulder at the couch, then slowly turns his head back to him.
“You mean.. that set-up is for me?”
Oh, right yeah..
It looks like a date setting. And he is still dating someone else.
“Uh..”His cheeks burn slightly as he rubs the back of his neck. “It’s— it’s not that much of a set-up, I just lit a candle cause it’s cold.”
Jimin’s eyes flicker to the thermostat once, then he just gives a slow nod, corner of his mouth curling up.
“Uhu.”
Fuck.
He averts his gaze.
“We don’t have to—“
“I’d love to.” Jimin gives his foot a little nudge under the table. “I’ll take a quick shower and I’ll be down, you can pick the movie.”
Oh.
His heart flutters, and he nods quickly.
“Okay— see you in a bit then.”
Stage one of his mission to cuddle on the couch: complete.
————————
Jimin comes downstairs just as it’s getting dark outside, which just makes that candlelight that slight bit more romantic.
Jeongguk is already settled in the middle of the couch, little blanket draped over his lap, left the corner of the couch for Jimin.
He’s out of his work clothes, in his staple oversized shirt and shorts, black hair towel-dry, falling prettily over his head as he sits down next to him.
Honey shampoo fills his senses, already has him shifting just the tiniest bit closer. He grabs the end of the blanket, lifts it for Jimin.
“You uh.. want?”
Jimin takes it wordlessly, just that pretty smile as he pulls the blanket over himself as well.
This is going so well, sharing one blanket, just a few inches between them that he’ll definitely close at some point during the movie. All he wants is to have Jimin’s hand in his hair, his body warmth against his own, and maybe a little kiss.
At least for now. later tonight, that’s a different story.
He didn’t even look at the plot of the movie he put on, actually, just picked one that looked cute. His goal isn’t really to watch a movie anyway, this is all just so he can get cuddles in.
Ridiculous actually, he used to be anti-cuddling, never really cared for it, and now he’s doing all this just for Jimin.
Who can blame him though, just look at the guy.
Jimin’s got his wet hair pushed back, his slanted eyes fixed on the screen, jaw so sharp, lips plump, they’re shiny even, maybe some sort of lip balm, or oil, or—
Snap out of it.
He turns his head to the tv, doesn’t even really care about the plot or the characters. Sitting next to Jimin is just making his brain vibrate, nothing but brrrrr on repeat.
Cuddling.. isn’t a bad thing right?
Just like watching isn’t touching, and hugging is innocent, cuddling is definitely among those things. Roommates can do all that.
He sneaks just a little closer, shifts as if his position isn’t quite right and oh oops his thigh is pressing snugly against Jimin’s, arms brushing together.
A small smile curls on his lips after a second or two, when Jimin hasn’t moved away. He pulls the blanket up a little more, watches the light of the candle flicker on the table.
Nothing beats this, a cosy night in the house, in their house. He can pretend they’re not both renting. The only thing missing right now is a pet, maybe a dog in his lap. The ultimate dream.
“Did you.. talk to your girlfriend today?”
Jimin’s voice is soft, tentative.
“Mm.” He nods. “Asked her to meet soon, so we can talk.”
Jimin hums, nods slowly, doesn’t really give away anything else.
Maybe he should have just called her and broken up over the phone.. though that would be a bit cowardly. But Jimin has been pretty adamant about the no touching while he’s still dating, so.. maybe the cuddling is already too far.
Then again, he did get a facial yesterday.
He’s about to ask if he’s too close, when a familiar warmth encloses around the back of his neck, fingers pressing into his skin.
Shivers run down his spine immediately. there’s nothing above Jimin’s touch, it’s his on button or something, Jimin only has to squeeze to activate.
His eyelids immediately sink, body goes slack under Jimin’s attention. If he were a cat he’d just be purring nonstop. But he isn’t, and so the sound that comes out is just a soft hum.
Jimin chuckles softly, sounds endeared. His fingers thread through the hair at the nape of his neck, gently caressing up and down.
God, it’s so good. His head gets a little heavy, starts hanging forward after a minute, eyes completely closed.
“You’re missing the movie.”
“Mmh.”
Worth it.
He moves just a little closer, rests his head on Jimin’s shoulder. Every breath is that honey shampoo, so fresh, so familiar. Along with the gentle caress of Jimin’s fingers, he could die peacefully right now.
His plan worked out perfectly. Everything he wanted handed to him on a silver platter.
Except that kiss.
At some point he has to sneak in a kiss, a peck at the very least. But he won’t push his luck right now.
He just melts into the comforting, warm touch, absentmindedly watches the movie while Jimin plays with his hair.
Though, the touch of Jimin’s fingers is just as relaxing as it is.. sensual. Which, it shouldn’t be. There’s nothing about the soft rubbing of Jimin’s thumb up and down his neck, or the small circles he draws into his skin that should turn him on.
And yet, the longer Jimin touches, the more his body tingles, slowly running hot.
It’s so ridiculous. He’s been trying to keep it domestic all day, didn’t even touch Jimin’s drawer, only jerked off a few times, but apparently Jimin merely being in his proximity is enough to send heat rushing down between his legs.
He bites his lower lip, endures it. It’ll blow over if he just focuses on the screen.
Seconds tick by, minutes pass, Jimin twirls the hairs at the nape of his neck around his index finger, and softly pulls.
“Ngh—“
“Oh..” Jimin chuckles softly. “Sensitive?”
His cheeks blossom pink, and he quickly shakes his head.
“No— yeah just, good.”
The number of times Jimin’s robbed him of his speech and reduced him to a caveman should be studied.
“Mm.”
Even the way Jimin hums sounds sexy.
Fuck, he should get up, drink a glass of cold water or something.
“Want a drink? I can— I’ll make us a drink.”
He nods at the kitchen, puts some distance between them.
Jimin’s eyes twinkle in the candle light, corner of his mouth curls up like he knows exactly what’s going on, but he doesn’t mention it.
“Sure, I’ll take anything.”
Good.
Great.
He nods, stands up with his back turned towards Jimin, quickly walks to the kitchen.
This is a fucking joke. Hard because of a little squeeze to the neck, a pull on his hair. Like he’s a teenager all over again. He pinches the bridge of his nose.
It takes him a good while to make those drinks. Jimin doesn’t mention it when he walks back, but there is this knowing little smile on his lips.
They even drink in silence, something hangs in the air that just makes it impossible to talk. Maybe it’s just the weird domestic nature of this date in contrast to what they usually get up to.
There’s that lingering tension, that at some point, somehow, it’s going to escalate.
It’s evident, when he settles back into the couch, Jimin’s hand finds the back of his neck instantly, as if he knows just how much of an effect it has on him.
His cheeks glow a little, in just a few minutes his dick is standing straight up again, as if he didn’t spend minutes thinking about his thesis to get it to go soft.
Jimin turns his head towards him slowly then.
“Jeongguk.”
Goosebumps run over his back just at the sound of his name; the way Jimin’s voice curls around it, breathy and dangerous.
“Mm?”
He can’t even look, afraid the arousal is clear in his eyes.
But it doesn’t matter, Jimin moves closer, the heat of his face radiating against his cheek.
“Can I confess something?”
Oh no.
Nothing good can come of this.
He swallows, gives a small nod anyway.
Jimin’s hand slowly moves into his hair, fingers thread through his locks.
“I can’t concentrate on the movie at all.” Soft lips brush against his earlobe. “I’ve been thinking about you at work all day.”..
“.. oh.” Something jumps around wildly in his chest, but he’s frozen in place, can barely even breathe. “You— you have?”
“Mmh.” Jimin hums, voice so light, lips practically against his ear when he breathes out: “Want to play.”
Oh.
Oh play.
His dick twitches, a shaky breath escapes him.
The movie goes on in the background, just a silly soundtrack at this point.
“We can— we can play.”
“Yeah?” Jimin’s lips slide lower, against the hinge of his jaw. “If I give you a fleshlight right now, will you fuck it right next to me?”
Oh fuck.
Flames lick at his face, but he nods instantly, can’t even pretend he doesn’t love that idea.
Except right that moment, the doorbell rings.
He knows it’s Siyeon just by the way she rings more than once.
Jimin slowly moves back to the corner of the couch, all too good at playing pretend.
Shit.
This is a terrible scenario. The whole living room screams date, but he doesn’t have time to fix it. Plus he’s half hard still when he walks up to the door, mind not entirely there yet.
When he opens up, Siyeon stands there, looking all dolled up. A brand new black satin dress, glistening in the light of the porch, her make-up dark, lips a cherry red, even her glossy black hair looks different, a perm maybe?
She blinks a few times, flutters her lashes.
“You wanted to meet up?”
Oh.
Right.
He can’t even speak.
Not that he’s bewitched or anything but there’s something wrong with the timing of it all. It’s been strictly no sex and just work outfits for weeks now, as a punishment for the onlyfans thing. And the moment he pulls away and wants to break up, she turns up like this on his doorstep.
“N.. now?”
He asks.
He was about to fuck a fleshlight next to Jimin on the couch, actually.
“Yes now.” She chuckles, already steps inside, the sound of her stilettos on the wooden floor. “Why, were you doing something else?”Yeah, almost.He swallows the comment.
She looks around the living room; only Jimin sitting on the couch, under the blanket in the dark, candle light flickering over his pretty face, drink in his hand, romcom playing on the tv.
It’s so obviously a date setting, but Siyeon just waves a hi to Jimin, unaware of the danger.
“Oh were you watching a movie?” She asks, takes a few steps towards the tv, eyes widening. “Oh my god this is my favourite.”Oh fuck.Oh no.“I always ask you to watch it with me, but you never want to.”Well..His cheeks glow a little hot. Maybe that’s why he recognised the title somehow. Not that he’s watched even a second of it.It’s actually kind of crazy how she has such a sixth sense for whenever he’s cheating, but can’t put 2 and 2 together: two roommates watching a romcom in the dark with candlelight. It’s right there.Jimin does an awfully good job at pretending he isn’t listening in, just has his gaze fixed on the screen, but there is that slight twinkle of amusement in his eyes. As if he enjoys this type of chaos.“Oh, sorry..” He just mumbles. “We can watch it another time.”
“No.” Siyeon sits down on the other end of the couch. “Let’s watch it now.”
Oh.. fuck.He just stands there, like a loser.“Now?”“Yeah, the best parts are still coming, let’s just watch it til the end.” She pats the spot next to her. “Come sit.”The spot is right between her and Jimin. It’s literally.. sandwiched between the two of them.He screams internally, and hard too, into the void. There’s this small, tug of the corner of Jimin’s mouth, but absolutely nothing else, not even a glance, no help at all.That’s probably what he gets for trying to date without breaking up first. He really wants to object, but Siyeon is already absorbed into the movie. And ah, fuck.He takes a few steps, slowly sits down between the two of them, cheeks glowing so much they must be a hot pink by now.This is without any doubt the most awkward situation he’s been in since his teenage years. Sitting between his current girlfriend and the guy he shares sex toys with on a daily basis. The guy who’s cum he’s tasted more the past week than her pussy.Jimin hands him the end of the blanket silently. He pulls it over his lap without second thoughts, just holds onto the corner for comfort. Except, a second later, a hand slides up his back, slowly to the back of his neck, and squeezes gently. He bites back a gasp, quickly side-eyes if Siyeon isn’t right in line of sight of it, but she’s too focused on the movie. Not that this touch is crazy or anything but it’s still.. weird. If she saw. Or maybe it’s not really the touch that’s weird but the way his body goes rigid because of it, every single part of him alert, tingling, silently begging for more.And Jimin knows that.That’s why it shouldn’t surprise him when he glances over, the mysterious little smile that pulls on Jimin’s plush lips. He fucking loves this.God, fuck.He focuses his attention on the movie instead, tries to get into the plot, anything to hold onto, but Jimin’s fingers press into his skin, massage the back of his neck so good he can barely keep his eyes open.Fingers play with his hair, run down the back of his neck, draw little circles into his skin, then walk back up. Jimin knows exactly how to drive him insane. “I love this part.” Siyeon nudges his side. “It’s so romantic.”He blinks his eyes open, wipes the drool of his chin as he sees a guy lift a girl up on screen in the middle of a flower field, and spins her around when they kiss. “Yeah..” He breathes out, even his voice sounds all affected. “Cute.”He could lift Jimin like that.“Oh you should have told me you were watching this earlier!”
She tsks, lies her head down on his thigh, back of her dress open, showing the strap of a lace bra. It’s a very good tactic, and it would probably have worked if he wasn’t thinking about Jimin’s cum on his face. If Siyeon hadn’t come in he would have been fucking a fleshlight right now. Jimin moves even closer, perfectly out of sight now when he dips his face into the crook of his neck.Jeongguk holds his breath, squeezes into the corner of the blanket when Jimin’s hot, wet tongue drags up the vein, all the way to his ear, where teeth enclose around his earlobe.fucking hell.
It takes everything to hold back his dick from twitching.“If you don’t mind..” Jimin breathes out, under the noise of the movie. “I’m gonna play with that fleshlight in my room, okay?”
A broken little gasp escapes him, but luckily it doesn’t alert Siyeon.“If you want to have it once I’m done with it, just knock on my door.”Fuck.He doesn’t want Jimin to leave, grabs his hand under the blanket. So fucking wrong. Girlfriend in his lap, Jimin’s fingers sliding between his, intertwining.He turns his head a little, heartbeat in his throat. Their faces are so close, noses touching. Those plush, pretty lips just an inch away.Jimin quirks a brow.He can’t help himself, closes the distance. Warm, soft lips envelop his own for a split, wonderful second. When he breathes in, it’s like he gets filled by all these golden bubbles, popping one by one in his chest. Downright magical.He pulls back as soundlessly as he can. Jimin blinks a few times, eyes glazed over, half-lidded, lips still parted.So cute.So pretty.He casts a quick glance at Siyeon, and when the coast is clear he leans in close, aligns his lips with Jimin’s ear.“Want to play with you all night.”
It’s the truth, really. He needs to figure out a way to break up right now, can’t leave Jimin hanging like this. Jimin only gives one more nod, a soft squeeze in his hand before he gets up. Jeongguk does not have the decency to look away from the way his ass cheeks bounce with each step he takes to his room. And as if Jimin knows, he glances over his shoulder one last time, small smirk on his lips when he closes the bedroom door.Fuck.He bites his lip, tries to erase the knowledge that Jimin is going to fuck one of the fleshlights from his collection.Right, Siyeon.He needs to break up with Siyeon, badly. His lips still tingle, chest still bubbly as he gently nudges her shoulder.“Siyeon..”“Mmh?” She looks over her shoulder, still in his lap. “What?”
He takes a deep breath, throat getting tight.“We need to talk.”Oof. It’s out.Her face immediately morphs into distress, and she sits up quickly.“About what?” “About us.” Ah, fuck, he’s really doing this. He’s never had to break up before, didn’t think it would be this nerve-wracking."Us as in.." Siyeon’s eyes well up with tears, her pretty make-up ruined the second one rolls down her cheek. “You’re.. breaking up with me?”
Her voice breaks, and she folds her arms around herself.
Fuck, this is hard.He can’t find the right words, opens and closes his mouth a few times.“Is it cause we’re not having sex? Cause I bought new lingerie, I was gonna—“
“No, no. It’s not that.” He shakes his head. “I don’t think we were.. ever really good together.”That’s probably worse, isn’t it?By the looks on her face, yes. Absolutely worse. So much worse.“What? How can you say that?” She raises her voice a little, another tear falling from her eyes. “We’re each other’s first long relationship— you’ve met my parents—““I know, I didn’t mean it like that, I just mean— I feel like it’s just not working.” He tries. “Lately we’ve only been fighting.”“But we— we could make it work if we work through our issues.” She wipes away a tear, smears all the mascara over her cheek. “We could talk about it.”Shit.He looks down.
There is nothing they can talk about that will mend the relationship. And it's all his fault.“I.. don’t think that will work.” “We haven’t even tried, unless we give it an honest try—““I know that’s what you think but it’s really not something we can just resolve by talking—“
“Well, maybe we can if you just tell me what it is.” She’s adamant. This is the trait he really liked about her in the first place, the directness, and that go-getter attitude. Unfortunately, he’s so fucking smitten with his roommate. “I..” He glances at Jimin’s door, lowers his tone just in case he’s listening in. “I have a crush on someone else.”Heat rushes to his face immediately, he hopes to fucking god Jimin didn’t hear that. It’s silent for a few seconds. Siyeon just stares at him, from one eye to the other.“I fucking knew it.” She sighs, shakes her head. “You’ve been cheating on me, haven’t you?”
In a sense?He swallows, can’t really say he hasn’t. Even though it's not in the way she thinks it happened, with some random girl, it's still cheating nonetheless. Her face hardens then, jaw snapping shut, a slow nod as she straightens her dress, tears still falling despite her change of attitude.“Fine. Then I guess it’s over.”Oh..Just like that.He tries to find anything to say, anything that will make up for the situation, to lessen the blow, but there’s just nothing at all. Can’t say “I didn’t mean to” can’t say “I didn’t actually touch touch” there is just no excuse to any of it.So he just sighs.“I’m sorry. I should have broken up with you the moment I knew.”
“I know right?” Siyeon laughs, a little crude. “Wonderful how that comes to mind only now.”He takes the sneer, can’t really argue with it anyway.“Well then.” She stands up in that pretty dress, takes a deep breath. “Hope you and her become really happy together.”Jeongguk stands up too, just walks her to the door. Another sorry won’t really change anything, and he definitely doesn’t feel like the truth would be safe with her either, so he just holds his breath.She steps out of the door without looking back.He just stands there, a little awkward, just to make sure the cab picks her up. Then he closes the door, and sighs.That sucked so bad.He told Jimin he wanted to play all night, but to be honest he’s not really mentally in the best place for it. Would feel kind of wrong to just knock on Jimin’s door now and get it on like nothing happened.Though Siyeon and him weren’t really ever that good together, it was his first long relationship. Seeing her break down like that is painful, and he isn’t completely heartless.So, he just slumps to his own room, lies face down on his bed, groans softly into his pillow.It would be great if he could just move on right away, but with Siyeon’s teary face on his retina, yeah.. He needs to give it a day or two.It’s not even ten minutes later when a soft knock on the door alerts him.He looks over his shoulder, finds Jimin there, still in the same clothes, no lewd blush or anything on his face, no sign of that insane lust-crazed demon that visited him yesterday night. If anything, his gaze is soft, as he nods to the living room.“I made you some tea if you want.”Oh..He blinks a few times, gets up slowly, shuffles closer on his socks. Over Jimin's shoulder he spots them on the dining table, two cups of tea, in their designated mugs. Jimin’s got little hedgehogs on his, he’s got a cute puppy. A small smile curls on his lips.
How considerate..“I.. thought you were..” Fucking yourself? He swallows the words, but Jimin’s eyes glint as if they hear it anyway.“I can’t do that when you’re breaking up like right next to my bedroom door, can I?”
“Oh.” He nods slowly, but then his cheeks burn up. “You.. heard?”“Yeah.” Jimin slowly walks to the table, sits down in his usual spot. “I heard.”
Jeongguk sits down across of him, wraps his hands around his cup.If Jimin listened.. then..“Everything..?” He asks, plays with the tea bag, very nonchalant.Jimin doesn’t reply, but when Jeongguk lifts his gaze, he only finds those siren eyes glinting playfully over the rim of his cup.Fuck.He heard everything.That’s just great.An ankle hooks around his own under the table, sends a set of tingles through his body. He clears his throat, drinks some tea, burns his tongue.Another few seconds pass.“I.. uh.. need a few days.. before I can— uh..”“Fuck all of my toys?”
“Yep— that— yeah.” He nods.“That’s okay.” Jimin only gives him that lazy little smirk. “I’ll keep them entertained while you grief.”