lately Jeongguk has been questioning if he’s really as progressive as he thinks he is.
Two of his best friends are bi, and he’s always been supportive. His parents raised him with the idea that loving someone is a freedom, told him he could bring home a boyfriend just as many times as they told him he could bring home a girlfriend.
So why.
Why does it irk him to see his roommate slobber all over another guy?
Jimin is a fun roommate, they’ve only been living together for a month or so but they hit it off pretty easily. They’re both sporty, they both like anime, they have the same humour, they like the same games, they enjoy the same food.
All in all, they’re good mates.
So the first time he comes home to Jimin and some guy making out on the couch he’s more so stunned than anything.
They never got to the whole sexuality talk, he had no idea Jimin was into guys. So the discomfort made sense then; he was tired, came in and saw something he just didn’t expect to see.
But then it happened a second time.
He’d just had late night boxing practice and returned home only to find Jimin kiss his date goodbye at the front door. Arms tightly wrapped around one another, the slightly taller guy cradling the back of Jimin’s head.
He had clicked his tongue, moved past them into the house. That time he had written off his annoyance just at that, they were in the way, not even paying attention to their surroundings, not letting him into his house.
But the third time, that’s when it’s not excusable to any external factors.
It’s the same guy as last time, Dongwon, they’ve already formally introduced, so it’s not like Jeongguk doesn’t know him. And Jimin even informed him that his date would stay over for dinner so seeing them cook together is not a surprise, they even told him he could join.
It’s just that, as soon as Dongwon slips his arms around Jimin from behind, traps him against the counter, and kisses his neck, Jeongguk bites his tongue, rolls his eyes and excuses himself to go eat ramen at the shop nearby.
That’s where he has a little bit of a mental breakdown.
Is he homophobic?
He’s always been supportive of his friends but he’s never actually seen them with a man, he’s never seen them kiss a guy. So maybe his support only stretches as far as that?
Is he one of those guys that claims it’s all fine as long as the guys don’t make out or hold hands in front of him?
Fuck, he doesn’t want to be one of those guys.
That just doesn’t make any sense. Love is love, he knows that, he supports that, so why?
Maybe he just hasn’t seen it enough.
If he’s around it more, then he’ll slowly get used to it, right? Only saying that he supports it isn’t enough if the underlying feeling doesn’t add up.
So he goes to a gay club, probably looks like a freak watching people from the sideline, waiting for men to make out in front of his eyes.
And when a couple locks lips in the middle of the dancefloor, Jeongguk just watches.
There’s nothing about it that annoys him. All in all it’s a pretty good makeout session, aesthetic to watch, even. Jeongguk can appreciate two hot guys enjoying themselves.
It does not add up at all.
Why is it that when he gets home and finds Jimin on the couch with Dongwon, not even kissing, but intertwined soul to soul, it just makes him want to punch the wall.
Maybe he is homophobic just to Jimin.
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“You never stay home when I ask you to eat with me.”
Jimin pouts on the couch. It is entirely too early, and he’s wearing a pickachu shirt and the shortest shorts imaginable.
Jeongguk finds out that same moment he’s attracted to thick thighs.
“What?”
He asks, a little distracted.
“Yesterday I asked you to stay for dinner but you always have plans, I never see you anymore.”
“Oh.” He nods, turns to the coffee machine. “You mean with Dongwon.”
It isn’t supposed to come out like that. Sounds bitter even to his own ears.
“Yeah..” Jimin sounds a little confused. “Why’s that important?”
“It’s not.” He deflects quickly, makes a coffee for the both of them. “Sorry I always have plans.”
“No, don’t avoid the topic. Is there a problem with Dongwon?”
Shit.
He looks over his shoulder, finds Jimin leaning over the edge of the couch, watching him with full attention, his blonde hair a mess, sticking out at the sides.
“No, Dongwon is nice.”
He actually is nice, just a great guy in general, very kind, easygoing. But for some reason Jeongguk just can’t stand him. His stupid, stupid selective homophobia.
“You brought him up for a reason.”
“No no, Jimin really, he’s a great guy.”
“I know he is, but you seem to not want to dine with him.”
Ah.
He clicks his tongue.
Jimin can get so fired up.
“I would love to dine with you guys.” He says, articulates every word. It doesn’t ring true to his ears at all. “Don’t be silly.”
“Do you want to have dinner with just me for once? You can say so.”
He pauses, which is a bad thing, cause Jimin reads into all his actions, immediately pounces.
“Ah, that’s it huh? You just miss our one on one roommate time.” Jimin smiles, and it lights up the entire room. “You can just tell me these things you know? I don’t always have to hang out with my boyfriend.”
Even the word boyfriend leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, the coffee in comparison tastes rather sweet.
It seems his homophobia runs even deeper than he thought, because he does not want to spend one on one time with Jimin at all. His entire being is telling him to flee.
But Jimin, for all his perceptiveness, does not notice that at all, and he just grins.
“Okay, let’s have a hangout tonight. You, me, dinner, and some good anime, okay?”
Fuck.
Jimin beams at him and he just can’t bring himself to say anything other than “yeah, sounds great.”
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