2025 🐳

All I know is that I want to draw, make comics, paint paintings, build sculptures and send letters of drawings to people across the world. Patreon has been a great way to do all of these things. 2025 marks 7 years of having this platform. It is said that our cells regenerate every 7 years. There's something I'm trying to say here but just cant find the right words lol I am such a different person from who I was when I started on Patreon. I'm also very different from who I was last week. Oh god this post is not going the way that I imagined aaaaaaaaaa

Okay wait let me start with how I felt before writing this. I was scared to open Patreon. I've been away for too long because this year has been all over the place. Nothing objectively bad or terrible has happened but it sure feels bad and terrible to me and thats the problem!!! AAAAAA I have SO much to SAY!! I should be put in Patreon jail for not showing up this year and just shamelessly accepting your patronage. Feels like I'm digging my own grave here but I want to let this out. The internet has been a great platform for me to let things out. I am grateful for it.

I guess I wouldn't be feeling this terribly if I had informed you about my absence beyond just November. But I thought I could juggle everything but I clearly couldn't. It feels pretty bad. I didn't want Patreon to feel like a burden but it honestly has felt like it this year. But thats only because I haven't been able to do the things that I do. I have joyfully sent out letters, shared comics etc etc whenever I could.

I have thought about pausing Patreon but couldn't get myself to. Although I've never been able to reach my financial goals on Patreon alone, I've worked very hard to be here and have all of you be part of my life. It would be painful to have it all go away. I have met the most special people through this platform. I completely understand if you want to leave on your own if I don't match your expectations.

I believe in myself so much but all of that is moot if it's not met with !!action!! I have lost confidence in my work and the guilt of having lost time weighs down on me which naturally leads to more wastage of time. Viscious cycle. I have critically analysed my situation and the root cause of this is the lack of practice and not having the time or space to explore my mind this year. I was just a person this year, not an artist. I guess the new life change was something I stupidly didn't anticipate. I thought I'd be young and free forever. There's some level of self loathing coming up here but I'm just gonna ignore it 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

Up until last month, every time someone would ask how married life has been, I would say it's the same as before being married BUT it is in fact not the same as before being married. I guess the only thing in common between the two lives is that I'm still living with my parents but Anand has also joined us. We have been house hunting for the last few months but no luck yet. My parents are sweet but living with them at this age is driving me very nuts. They live chaotic lives and don't know how to talk to each other, I hate being in the middle of it all especially with my sweet husband Anand.

I see people handling worse things and still showing up and I have felt disgusted with myself for not being able to manage just this much. But I have to try and cut myself some slack, I just cannot get myself to destress!!! Everything in my body feels blocked and distressed aaaaaaaaaaa

ANYWAY. I will share photos of some random highlights of the last year in the next post. I tried to make the collages on my phone, please zoom in to read if it gets too small haha. I should be writing this in the post with the photos. Oh well, I'll just copy paste this there.

OKAY.

In 2026, I will keep things small and manageable as opposed to dreaming big and doing nothing. I want to paint more and practice my practice even if its BAD, HORRENDOUS, THE WORST THING EVER. I will do it!! I will SHOW UP! I have showed up right now and that makes me feel slightly better!!! Here are some things I will be doing :

I will finish at least one 100+ pager book.

I will paint big and small.

I will make and sell clay sculptures.

I will maintain a sketchbook.

I will host at least 5 offline workshops.

I will find a publisher for Shampoo & Daddy! as I only have the last 25 copies left. I had printed 400 in May 2024.

I will go to a country.

Might be a weird thing to say but it feels like this is my last chance at Patreon. It feels like I got incredibly lucky with you lot and my luck is running out. I have to save it and I have to save myself!!

I keep thinking of making comics about all of these events but I've decided that not everything should be a comic. Sometimes words are enough, which is why I'm writing this instead of drawing about it. Done is better than perfect.

Sigh, this post was ending on such a nice note but I had one more thought and I didn't know where to adjust it above so I'm writing it here. I keep wanting to be away from the internet. I dont share about my life as much as I used to- it just feels like I've shared enough haha. I was 19 when I started making and sharing comics in 2016. Next year, it'll be 10 years. That's insane!!! I want to talk about my life without showing my life...or something like that, you know?? I want to hide but I want to be seen!! What is wrong with me?? I want to make auto bio comics but I dont want people to see it but I want to be seen. Maybe I'll only share them on Patreon?? Perhaps?? Maybe?? But first I need to MAKE them hahaha Sorry if this is a bit too unhinged!!! AAAAAAAAA OKAY BYEEEEEEE <3 <3 <3

HAPPY HOLIDAYS 🌸

HAPPY 2026 🌸

THANK YOU ♥

-Aditi