I never did like this date.
I finished putting flowers on Mom’s grave after staying and talking with her a bit. As much as it usually cheered me up to visit Mom, this day in particular was difficult.
Was there any son who didn’t feel melancholy on the day of their mother’s death?
“I’m back.” I walked into the house, calling out casually to whoever was home.
I didn’t know who was in the house at the moment; I was about to just head upstairs and probably lay in bed, feeling tired. But I noticed several of them were sitting around the living room, as if waiting for me.
“Wilhelm, come sit down.” Artoria told me.
I was honestly hesitant; the atmosphere was weird.
“The others aren’t here right now, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be kept in the loop.” Yasaka added. “It’s nothing bad; come.” She gestured to come sit next to her, so I followed along.
It was her, Scáthach, Artoria, Jeanne, and Jinn.
“You know, I’m the kind of person who likes the Band-Aid just ripped off.” I said out loud to ease the weird tension.
“You know we love you.” Jinn reached over and grabbed onto my arm.
“The more you beat around the bush, the more anxious I’m getting," I said honestly.
“Very well, if you wish for us to be blunt about it, we will.” Scáthach spoke up. “When was the last time you went to visit your mother?”
“About an hour ago," I answered.
“Student.” She gave me a look. “You know very well what I’m talking about.”
I found myself looking away. “That’s really what this is about?”
“We haven’t brought it up because we know it’s been difficult for you.” Yasaka continued. “But the fact that you still haven’t gone to visit her, especially today, means that you’re probably never going to. Are you?”
I crossed my arms. “She isn’t my mother.”
“Wil.” Jeanne’s turn came. “Do you remember what you told me when I refused to see my mom?”
“That’s hardly the same circumstances.”
“Isn’t it?”
“She’s not my mother.” I repeated. “She’s his. I’m not that Takao; I’m not going to intrude on their lives anymore than I already have. I’m happy I got to meet another version of my mom after so long. That’s it; it was nice. Now I get to move on with my life.”
“Is that really how you feel, Wilhelm?” Artoria chimed in. “Do you need me to point out that you’re not being fully truthful?”
I clicked my tongue because she could pick up on lies or people not being entirely truthful rather easily. “It’s the only thing that matters. I’m some stranger wearing the face of her son; she took pity on me.”
“That is a lie, student. Do not forget that I was there as well.” Scáthach gave me a stern look.
“Wilhelm.” Yasaka’s tail creeped up and wrapped around my hand. “We love you. If you can’t talk with us, who can you talk with?”
I let out a long sigh. “I’m not him. I’m not that Takao.” I paused for a minute and reluctantly continued. “I’m not a good person. Her son is still a kid. An innocent naive kid who gets to grow up and be a good person. I’ve killed a lot of people. I’ve done a lot of things she wouldn’t approve of. How am I supposed to stand in front of her like that? They don’t deserve to have me coming over and fucking up their lives.”
It’s why when Kokabiel popped up over there, I didn’t appear myself.
Granted, I thought it was hilarious to give that other Me Ruby. I also did that intentionally for reasons other than just for a laugh.
Ruby could keep an eye on them in my stead.
As annoying as she is, she knows what she’s doing.
I tell myself that I’m doing it because I don’t want to intrude on their lives. But truthfully, I think I’m just scared.
I’m scared at how she would have looked at me if I were actually to handle Kokabiel myself like I did my version.
What face would she have made?
Would she be frightened by my presence?
I don’t know if I could handle it without my heart breaking.
“It’s best to just leave it as I did," I said quietly.
They all looked at each other, and it was hard to guess what they were thinking.
“Wilhelm.” Yasaka said softly, putting a hand on my arm. “Do you know what our most important job is? Collectively, as a group of women who share you. Do you know what we have to look out for the most is?”
“No?” I blinked.
"When you’re being stupid.”
“Eh?” I was taken aback by what she just said.
“Student, you’re being stupid.” Scáthach said it just as bluntly. “It has been a long time since you have visited your mother, and you have been worried about nonsense. You have let your negative thoughts fester in your heart, and now you wish to punish yourself by keeping your distance.”
“I’m not punishing myself, I—" I wasn't; that’s dumb. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“Then let’s go see your mom," Jeanne smiled. “We can ask her if she feels the same way.”
“That’s going against the whole point.”
“Do you remember, you ignored every protest I made, so I’m going to do the same to you~” Jeanne hummed happily.
“Will. I want to meet my mom someday.” Jinn pouted at me. “I never had a mom. Are you going to take that away from me?”
"...That's a low blow.”
Jinn’s eyes just sparkled in response. “If you’re going to be stupid, then I’m going to take cheap shots.”
I felt my eye twitch at that. “You’re all ganging up on me.”
“Perhaps it’s because you are in the wrong.” Artoria offered her advice. “Wilhelm, you are not a foolish man.”
"Debatable," Scáthach spoke.
“When he acts foolish, it is with clear intentions. This is not him acting; therefore, it is unbecoming of him and out of character.” Artoria clarified as she got up and walked over to me. She put a hand on my cheek. “Wilhelm, you know very well that we are correct. You are being stubborn.”
I looked away again. “I don’t want her to hate me. It’s easier this way.”
“Do you think your mother is a foolish woman?” Artoria asked.
“No, of course not.”
“Then look around this room. Do you think any of us are foolish or inept?”
“No, maybe Jinn.”
“I deserved that.” Jinn accepted without hesitation.
Artoria smiled. “Then consider this. If all of us care about you and we’re all of sound mind, then why would you think your mother would be different?”
I didn’t answer; I just dropped my head against her lap, and she ran her fingers through my hair.
“It’s alright," she said quietly. “You do so much for all of us; it’s our job to also take care of you.”
“I miss my mom.”
“We’ve already discussed it. We did not wish to overwhelm her, so Jeanne and I will be going with you to visit.” Artoria stated.
It was decided then, I suppose.
“We drew lots. I lost, unfortunately.” Yasaka sighed. “But next time.”
“I can’t wait to meet Mom!" Jinn smiled brightly.
“Give me a few minutes to mentally prepare myself.” I mumbled into her lap.
“You may take as long as you need.” Artoria comforted me.
@***@
I was a lot less apprehensive after arriving in Kuoh this time.
It’s weird; it’s been a while since the last time I’ve been here, and a lot has happened in my life.
After the whole rating game with Rias, I feel like a lot of my resentment has abated. I can admit that I was more aggressive and abrasive than I should have been the last time.
I mean, I’m still going to give my other self shit for dating her, but I was going to try and be nicer this time.
“Is this where you lived?” Jeanne looked around.
Artoria had already seen this place, but it was Jeanne’s first time.
“More or less.”
I don’t know if I would ever call it a home, but I certainly lived here for many years.
Artoria tugged on my arm, as if to tell me I wasn’t allowed to back out now.
I was happy, in a way. I could feel the anxiety causing my heart to beat quicker. But I think I was appreciative that I was being forced to come back.
I probably wouldn’t have come back otherwise.
Well, no point in stalling any longer.
We walked up to the door, and I knocked on it.
I heard someone on the other side, a familiar voice, and the door opened.
“Hi, Mom," I said awkwardly.
Mom stood there, looking at me surprised for a moment before she grabbed me in a big hug. “Oh, my baby boy! I hadn’t seen you in so long; I was so worried!”
“I’m sorry, Mom," I choked out. “I was…busy."
“That was a lie," Jeanne chirped. “He was worried that he was intruding and didn’t want to come back until we made him.”
Mom pulled off of me, looking at Jeanne, and then gave me a mom glare. But that quickly turned from anger to an affectionate look. “My sweet boy.” She spoke warmly. “You’re always welcome back home.”
I felt my eyes water as I held back some emotions I had been keeping to myself for many months at this point.
“Come in, come in." She grabbed me, pulling me past the threshold. “Are these my daughters too?” She paused, then turned to the inside of the house. “Takao, your brother is home!”
“Brother?” I repeated, blinking.
“Brother?” Takao, my other self, walked into the hallway with a certain glasses-wearing girl at his side. “You!”
“It feels easier just to say brother.” Mom let out a breath.
I…couldn’t argue with that logic.
“You’re still with her.” I pointed out.
“Do you have something to say!?” Sona put her hands on her hips, giving me a glare.
“Just a sec, I think I need to throw up.”
“Wilhelm, I swear to your father in Hell, if I see you puke on my floor, you’re going to be cleaning it up with your tongue!”
“Weird, I feel better just like that.” I looked away.
I could see Jeanne and Artoria smiling.
"Now…" She put hands on my shoulders. “Introduce me to my daughters!” She couldn’t hold back her excitement.
Jeez…
Not even five minutes back and it felt like all my previous worries were utterly silly.
Artoria stepped forward. “I am Artoria Pendragon; it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Wilhelm has spoken of you in great regard.”
Mom all but squealed. “So cute!” She grabbed Artoria into a hug, making her let out a small yelp. “Call my mom!”
“M-mom?” Artoria got swept up in her momentum.
I scratched my cheek. “I mentioned her before.”
“Wait, you’re that one?” Sona pushed her glasses up. "...King Arthur?” She spoke skeptically, as if she couldn’t believe it.
“Did you think I was lying?”
“Yes.” She answered without hesitation.
“Ahem.” Artoria cleared her throat. “That is correct; I went by Arthur when I hid my gender. I am the former King of Camelot.”
Sona just stood there, mouth gaping.
“Does that make my boy a queen?" Mom asked.
Artoria just smiled. “Yes. Absolutely.”
Mom clapped happily, clearly only caring about that detail above all others. “Did you ever hear the stories of when I took Takao to plays and how he wanted to be a knight when he grew up?” Mom asked, leaning in.
Artoria’s eyebrows raised as she glanced my way. “I have not heard these tales.”
“I’ll make sure to share the stories later.”
"Mom…" Takao sighed. “Can you please not?”
Mom puffed up her chest. “It’s my duty!”
“Y-y-you’re really King Arthur!?” Sona spoke in disbelief.
It’s funny, my other self was taking it more in stride.
Artoria simply responded by taking out a familiar sword. Not her own, but the other one. She stabbed Caliburn into the ground in front of her, and the letters were easy to read. “Does this answer your question?”
Sona just continued to stare, dumbfounded.
“And what about my other daughter? You look like twins, almost.” Mom looked over to Jeanne.
“Hello, Ma’am.” Jeanne bowed her head. “My name is Jeanne d'Arc; Wilhelm is my boyfriend.”
Sona let out a choked gasp. “That Jeanne D’arc!? The Saintess!?”
“Erm, well…” Jeanne fidgeted in place. “I never really considered myself a Saintess, and it feels awkward to claim that kind of title.”
The thing is, Mom definitely recognized the names. Ironically, she was well educated and knew these kinds of historical figures despite being Japanese.
Even if by name or vague stories.
Mom just softened her gaze. “Call me Mom."
Jeanne flushed. “Mother…”
“Ah~ So cute!” She pulled Jeanne into a hug. “I love it; I have two new wonderful daughters.”
My other self was staring too.
“Aren’t you supposed to hate devils, though?” My other self pointed out.
“Takao, be nice," Mom chastised him.
“No, it’s alright," Jeanne said calmly. "I understand how you may misunderstand.” Instead, Jeanne reached for my hand. “I met Wilhelm awhile ago, before I knew he was a devil and…. He was very kind to me and sweet, and we spent some time together, and I started to like him before I found out. At that point, I didn’t think it mattered; he was still the same person I knew.”
“Truthfully, she seduced me," I stated.
“Neh!” She playfully hit my shoulder.
“Come on, sit down. I’m sure there’s a lot we should talk about!” Mom grabbed both of them and pulled them inside.
Takao and Sona followed as Mom set them down at the table.
“Tell me how you met; I want to hear the details.” She clapped her hands.
Artoria cleared her throat. “It is not a fanciful tale. I met Wilhelm while I was fulfilling my duty as a servant towards my master—the person I swore to serve. At the time, I did not have a perception of myself as a woman. Wilhelm spoke some words to me, expressing admiration. He let slip that he found me…pretty. I found the compliment in poor taste and thought he was simply speaking politely. He was adamant in correcting my views.” She cast a warm gaze towards me. “We ended up on a date at his behest, and I had a wonderful time, and a small spark of interest emerged. It was only a matter of time from that point.”
Mom was pushing her cheeks together as she let out a happy noise. “Who knew my little boy was so romantic!?”
Artoria, to her credit, was doing her best to not show how embarrassed she was. She wasn’t the type to speak like this to someone she just met, but I knew she was doing it for my benefit.
“And what about you?” Mom looked towards Jeanne.
“Well…it’s a bit more complicated. There was a war—"
“I briefly explained it to her the last time.” I interrupted her slightly. “She knows the general outline.”
"Ah?" Jeanne blinked. “That makes it easier. I was summoned to act as a moderator for the Grail War.”
“The thing you said about summoning heroes from the past?” Sona asked.
“That’s right," Jeanne answered.
"...That was real too.” Sona muttered, as if her worldview were being flipped upside down.
I mean, I said all this truthfully. But I guess it’s hard to believe when I said it in the same breath where I said I’ve killed gods.
I suppose, in hindsight, it’s not very believable.
Jeanne puffed up as she looked at me. “The first time we met, he was bullying me! He would tease me relentlessly, then make jokes at my expense, and he tied me up and kidnapped me!”
Mom looked my way.
“Context is important.”
“He also helped me a lot; he was kind and he was charitable. And…and when it was time for me to leave, he took me to see my home. He spent the day with me as he showed me the era after I died to see how my homeland fared after everything that happened. And in my last moments, he looked so sad that I was leaving. I felt my heart ache; I didn’t know at the time, but I realized that it was because I already liked him.”
She gave a very abridged version of what happened.
But even so…
Hearing it from her perspective was different.
“You’re both with…him?" My other self pointed to me.
“That’s right.” Artoria confirmed.
“He really has a harem?"
Jeanne nodded this time. “Yes, they’re all very nice.” She smiled brightly.
Sona looked at him. “Don’t be getting any ideas.” She huffed indignantly.
“I’m not! I was…just curious.”
Artoria looked at him curiously. “It is strange to see a younger version of Wilhelm.”
Jeanne giggled. “But you can clearly tell it’s still him. He still has the cute expression of his when he knows he’s in trouble.”
“Ah!?” Takao looked bashful at that.
“…it is cute," Sona begrudgingly admitted.
I made a choking noise, and Mom swatted at me from over the table. “Do you even need me to tell you why I’m hitting you?”
“I’m not apologizing.”
“Wilhelm, be nice!” Jeanne pulled on my cheek.
I stuck my tongue out, but she pulled harder.
“You seem different.” Takao spoke up.
It’s weird that I seem to just automatically call him Takao in my head, despite us being the same person, technically.
“Different how?”
“I don’t know. More steady? Maybe? Like you see a tree, then you come back years later, and it’s taller and bigger.”
I should say, as expected of me, he has good instincts.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve been back. I’ve been through a lot, I suppose," I said vaguely. “But what’s happened here in the meantime? Especially after the Kokabiel thing.”
"Don't even mention that!” Takao threw his hands up. “Do you have any idea how much my reputation got destroyed because of you?"
“But you beat Kokabiel?”
“In a miniskirt! There are pictures of me online, upskirt pictures!”
I looked away, holding back a laugh.
“I’ll kill you!” Takao tried to jump over the table, but Sona held him back. “You did it on purpose! And that stupid wand won’t leave me alone! I only got it to stop following me around and being annoying by letting it watch anime in my room!”
“Well, the mid-life crisis magical girl might be happy to take Ruby off your hands—"
“Serafall offered to marry me if I gave her the wand as a dowry.” Takao said point-blank.
"Oh wow.” I blinked at that, and a glance at my mom told me that he wasn’t exaggerating. "Well…it's an upgrade, right?”
Sona gave me a flat look. “I am not going to rise to your provocations.”
“Yeah, whatever.” I wasn’t upset that she didn’t take my bait.
Definitely not upset.
“Takao, be nice to Ruby. She may be…excitable, but she’s been very helpful.” Mom told him.
“That’s easy for you to say; you don’t randomly transform into a magical girl when she’s bored!”
“You look cute in that outfit.” Mom cooed.
Takao’s head hit the table.
Sona pushed her glasses up. “After the Kokabiel incident, we took the…information you gave us more seriously. We found that Khaos Brigade you mentioned, and we were able to strike at them first.”
“You mean the Satans struck at them first.”
She rolled her eyes. “They were about to cause significant damage to that organization as they were not prepared for our sudden assault. I heard they had several gods among their numbers, but a few of their sub-organizations were forced to dissolve or scatter.”
“And they haven't retaliated?” I asked, because they had been causing a lot of trouble back home.
“They have retaliated a few times, but nothing too bad.” Sona replied.
Hmm
Maybe they were really crippled? It would have been a lot earlier that they got discovered; they might have gotten lucky and landed a fatal blow on them ahead of time.
"We—" I stopped.
I felt something familiar; the space around us shifted.
It was really familiar, and it clicked what was happening. This was the same feeling as when Soma used his Sacred Gear.
Artoria noticed, then Jeanne.
I stood up, and Mom recognized that something was wrong. “Wilhelm?”
“Someone’s doing something. The space around us has been cut off.” I answered. “Girls, please protect them if needed.”
“Meiko Shimoda.” A familiar voice rang out across the air. I remembered it because it had a really cocky tone to it. “Your home is surrounded and locked in another dimension. Please come out; we promise not to harm you if you cooperate.”
It had been a very long time since I'd heard that voice.
I only remembered for a single important reason: it belonged to the previous owner of my spear.
The Hero Faction – Cao Cao.
@***@
A/N
Looking Glass picking up a bit after the last one. Basically, this is Wilhelm as reflected at this point in time in the canon story, but now in the Looking Glass timeline, to sort of correlate the timelines a bit.
I’ll do another Looking Glass next month or something like that. It won’t be too long before the next update.