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I’ve just listened to YouTube dubbing one of my videos in Spanish. Not European Spanish. No. US Spanish. South America-flavoured. Which is fine. Beautiful, even. But not the issue.
The issue, the true betrayal, is that YouTube has the audacity to label the English I speak in my videos as US English.
US.
ENGLISH.
HOW. VERY. DARE YOU.
I will not stand for this. I will not lie down for it either. I will passive-aggressively pace in a long cardigan with tea in hand and righteous fury in my heart.
Fight me, YouTube.
I will meet you behind the bins at dawn.
Winner gets to decide the spelling of “coloUr” for the next hundred years.