As it turned out… it didn’t do much.
I wasn’t sure if she blocked it or if she was just tough enough that my kamehameha didn’t do much more than leave some scuff marks, but beyond sending Wonder Woman back over the horizon the ki blast did practically nothing and she was back within a minute before promptly wrapping me up in her lasso before I could try again.
And honestly? Fair.
That didn’t mean I wasn’t annoyed by it.
“This is no way to treat a Saiyan warrior.” I said to no one in particular.
“It is when they refuse to surrender and keep shooting at people with energy beams.” Wonder Woman deadpanned. “Besides would you have actually sat still long enough for us to talk if I didn’t do this?”
Since I was currently tied up with the Lasso of Truth and physically couldn’t lie at the moment, “... possibly, but you’d have had to bribe me.”
“I prefer this way to be honest.” Donna commented from where she was standing with the rest of the Team.
I turned to glare at her, but just got a smug smile from her and several pleased grins from the other members of the Team. I mentally moved Aqualad to my favorite of the bunch, mostly because he had the smallest smile.
I wasn’t sure how much of that was his natural stoic nature or the concussion, but it gave him the edge over the others.
“Same here.” Birdbrain smirked. “Think we should get a picture?”
“Oh, would that count as a souvenir for a successful mission?!” Miss Martian asked excitedly, but I couldn’t be too mad at her.
She did sorta miss the whole fight because I took her out at the very beginning.
“Everyone, please focus until the situation is completely resolved.” Wonder Woman scolded them before turning back to me. “And you, where is the Sphere of Atlas?”
Well then, it seems she wasn’t in the mood to joke around.
Maybe my ki blast affected her more than I thought?
Still, the divine magic of the lasso was forcing me to answer her question so I didn’t have time to wonder about that. Thankfully – I planned ahead.
“I have no idea.”
“”WHAT?!””
I squirmed uncomfortably as nearly everyone decided to scream in my ear. Wonder Woman however just looked serious.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Before the Sidekick Squad showed up I put the orb in my Attack Ball and flew it into orbit before flying back down. I have no idea where it is now.”
Wonder Woman rubbed at her forehead. “Why would you– do you have any idea how dangerous that artifact could be?!”
It was rhetorical so I didn’t technically have to answer, but I did so anyway. “Needed it for gravity training, things are too light on Earth and it was a good way to get stronger without spending all day doing one exercise or finding bigger rocks. Also for me, not very. My best guess is that the orb either replicates or siphons off a bit of Atlas’s prison – probably the second one if Cheetah was hoping to use it to deal with her curse somehow – but it can only create a small area of increased gravity a few times Earth’s norm. As long as I have enough Ki to get out of the effect or move the orb far enough away, it’s not really an issue for me.”
“Let me get this straight…” Uh, oh. That was her angry voice. “You suspected you had an artifact linked to something regarding a Titan, and you decided to use it for weight training?!”
“What else would I use it for?”
She sighed and looked up at the sky. “Gods give me strength, but I really should have expected that.”
“So we need to find her ship or force her to call it back somehow. How are we going to do that?” M’gann asked. “The bioship doesn’t really have the sensors to look for specific things in space yet.”
“Let me worry about that.” Wonder Woman replied. “You all did well to track Califa down and keep her occupied, but there isn’t much that requires any of your assistance. Instead you should head back to the Mountain and have Tornado look your injuries over.”
“Respectfully, ma’am, we’d rather see this through to the end.” Aqualad spoke up, sounding pretty normal so maybe his concussion wasn’t actually all that bad. “Especially since it was our team that ended up beating Califa.”
Nevermind, Aqualad just moved to the bottom of my favorites list. Superboy could be my favorite for now.
“No way,” I protested. “I’ll admit you guys got real close and if Speedy was here or M’gann didn’t let herself get ganked at the very beginning you might have won, but I won that fight!”
“You won the fight, but we were just trying to catch you.” He gestured at my tied up form. “You didn’t get away and were caught. I’d say that’s our win.”
I’d have argued with him, but I realised he was kinda right so the Lasso kept me from saying anything.
“While I admire the dedication to seeing things through, that doesn’t really change the fact there isn’t much your team can contribute.” Wonder Woman commented. “Aside from using the Watchtower’s systems to locate Califa’s ship and retrieving the Sphere of Atlas, all that’s left to do is take the artifact to Thymescira for safekeeping. Speaking of which–” She turned to me and started undoing the lasso, “I’ll be informing the Queen about this stunt of yours.”
“Wha– why!?”
“Punishment for running off with an unknown magical artifact. Even if this one was harmless to you, it could easily have been something far more dangerous.”
Dammit, Wonder Mom was going to give me another ‘I’m disappointed with you’ lecture. I hated those!
“Wait, is that it? Shouldn’t she face a bigger punishment for her actions?” Superboy asked, confused. “She stole something and was caught, doesn’t that mean she should be put in jail?”
Most of the sidekicks looked a little uncomfortable at the clone’s question. I, however, could only huff at the poor potato’s lack of knowledge. The first rule of wriggling out of trouble afterall, was knowing what you could get away with.
“Not technically, no.” Wonder Woman replied. “The Sphere did not actually belong to anyone so there is no one to press charges, and simply possessing a magical artifact isn’t a crime. And while the Sphere can be dangerous… Califa is right that the danger is mostly for the unsuspecting or unprepared that could trigger it accidentally. Even Cheetah’s plan to use the Sphere as a medium to break Atlas free of his prison and demand he undo her own curse as payment had more to do with external help than anything about the Sphere specifically besides its connection to Atlas’s prison.”
I brightened up, “So that means it’s fine for me to keep using, right?”
“You can bring that up with Queen Hippolyta.”
Fine, plan B it was then.
“Is that… normal?” M’gann asked, going back to the previous topic. “For Villains to get away with hurting people just because it isn’t against some law or because no one is willing to persecute a crime?”
“I wouldn’t say it's normal, but it does happen on occasion. Usually when dealing with some of the more esoteric adversaries or various aliens.” Wonder Woman admitted. “That’s why as Heroes our first priority is always protecting people and stopping threats instead of making sure criminals are punished.”
“It helps the villains that actually hurt people end up breaking at least a few laws anyway.” Birdbrain threw in. “The Monkey is just good at avoiding consequences.”
“You’re just jealous.” I shot back. “Now let’s get going. I need a hot shower after what you guys pulled.”
“After the fight we just had? No way, go somewhere else.”
I jabbed a finger at the Sidekick Squad. “You guys hit me with bear mace.” I said like that was all that needed to be said.
And truthfully, it was.
The Team had made some token sounds of protest, but pretty soon after all of us piled into the bioship and headed back to Mount Justice.
M’gann and Superboy were a bit standoffish at first, but the rest of the Team not holding a grudge for the beating I gave them eventually made them lighten up. Well, made M’gann lighten up. Superboy was still the broody quiet one of the group, but he didn’t have a problem with me.
The flight back mostly consisted of me, Donna, and Birdbrain all going over the fight and picking out things that could have been done better with the occasional input from Aqualad. It was only once we were back at the mountain and that I was reasonably sure that no one was watching me that I pulled a small remote out of my armor.
The main trick to getting around Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth was to know the types of questions she tended to ask and prepare backup plans that hinged on her not asking about them.
She was better than practically every other Amazon about technology, but she still had her blindspots. Especially since the other adult Heroes tended to take the lead when tech was involved. All I had to do was mention that I manually put my Attack Ball in orbit and flew back down myself and she forgot about the possibility that it could be remote controlled.
With a push of a button, my Attack Ball would head back down to Earth somewhere hidden until I could go get it and move it somewhere safe. Wonder Woman and whoever she had helping her would waste a bunch of time looking for it in orbit which would give me plenty of time to hide out until they lost interest in retrieving the Sphere or something more important pulled them away.
It was the perfect plan!
-o-
“Yeah, I see it. The pod just started dropping back down to Earth.” John Stewart, Green Lantern 2814-2, said as he watched the Saiyan craft light up on re-entry. “You were right, the kid had a remote for it. Want me to intercept, Diana?”
“No, it’s fine.” Wonder Woman’s voice crackled over the communicator. “The Sphere is considered a minor enough artifact on its own and only really dangerous to the unprepared. Califa was right that she is actually rather safe using it for herself.”
“The Saiyan homeworld does apparently have much higher gravity than Earth, but you aren’t worried about Cheetah going after the kid for the orb again?”
“Not really. Right now she is under the assumption that the Sphere of Atlas is on its way to Thymescira for safekeeping so she’ll probably forget about it entirely in a few months. By then she will likely have moved on to another plan to break her curse and won’t bother even if Califa does somehow reveal she has it. Not that it’s likely considering the girl tends to train in the wilderness.”
John considered that for a moment and decided Diana was right.
Most Villains didn’t make repeat plays for magical objects once they were beaten the first time. Something to do with the defeat magically imprinting on the object and making any ritual harder to pull off unless it was specifically accounted for or cleansed somehow.
He didn’t really know, magic wasn’t his specialty despite running into it on several occasions.
“Alright. And letting Califa think she slipped this by you? What’s up with that?”
“Just letting her enjoy her win. The Team did well and managed to catch her – even if it was more by technicality, Califa gets to think she outsmarted me, and she will likely keep quiet for a few weeks while she trains with her new tool.”
“Right, and the other thing?”
“I also get some more blackmail in case we need her to behave.”
John couldn’t help but chuckle at that.
The Saiyan could be wildly unpredictable at times, but in the end she was still just a teenager. It was actually comforting to know that a being with her level of power could be somewhat controlled through food bribes or by threatening to tell her unofficial adoptive mother something embarrassing.