“That was pretty fun!” Clover exclaimed as she fell back onto one of the couches and kicked her feet up. “I never thought I’d say that about cleaning stuff up, but I guess literally anything is better when you toss magic into the mix.”
“Yeah, and did you see how excited everyone was to see us once word started getting around?” Sam added. “If we keep doing things like that we’re going to have fanclubs!”
“Oooh, do you think we’ll have people make official merch of us?” Alex asked.
I huffed in amusement even as I set down a bunch of stuff for nachos on the table.
None of us were really in the mood for anything complicated and chips, cheese, salsa, plus whatever other fixings we wanted were easy enough to heat up with little effort.
“If someone else makes it, it’s not official merch.” Gloria pointed out, snagging a plate and filling it with what she wanted. “They’d need to ask us to approve it or we’d have to make it ourselves to be official. It’d be neat to see bootleg stuff pop up though.”
“That’s a good point. Rias! You’re friends with Parian, right? Get her to make us some merch!”
I tilted my head as I considered the point before shaking it in denial. “I don’t think that’s the kind of fashion she’s really into. Maybe we could ask Crystal instead? Someone has to do the New Wave stuff I’ve seen around.”
“Doubt that would work, we used some company that works with the PRT for that stuff. I don’t know if they legally can make stuff with villains on them.” Amy cut in as she snagged some nachos for herself.
“Ugh, does that mean I’m never getting my cool merch?”
“Well, I mean if you just want it for yourself,” I pointed at an empty section of the table and flexed my magic a little, causing a black graphic t-shirt with our entire team in costume on it to appear in a flash of light. I pulled off my current shirt and grabbed my new creation, briefly holding it up so everyone could get a clear look at the design before putting on the new one. “You could always just make it yourselves.” I continued with a shrug.
“We totally could do that, couldn't we?” Clover mused, snapping her fingers in front of Amy’s face. “By the way, you broke our Bishop again.”
“...Ah, oops. Sorry Amy.” I apologised.
While I wasn’t the casual nudist my DxD counterpart could be, I also wasn’t very body shy either. Probably a good thing considering how often my clothes got destroyed in public, but it did mean I occasionally didn’t think things through around people I was comfortable with.
“It’s… fine.” Amy muttered while all of us politely ignored the impressive blush creeping up her face.
“So, are we just doing more of this tomorrow?” Gloria changed the subject. “Cause if we are, I’d like a say in the outfits we pick next time.”
“Up to you guys really.” I said. “I have a bunch of things I need to check in on before they become a headache, so you’ll be on your own.”
“Finally admitting to Crystal that you took over the city?” Sam teased, which caused me to glare at her.
“No, but someone needs to tell them about the Empire getting outed in a couple days so they don’t get blindsided. And then I have to check in on the Undersiders to make sure they aren’t up to anything stupid. Ugh, being responsible sucks.” I complained and flopped into my chair.
Unfortunately, my Peerage was not even slightly sympathetic to my plights and spent the next hour teasing me about becoming the ruler of the local criminal underworld up until I left to go meet Crystal for our talk.
-o-
I was feeling much better once I met up with Crystal and passed my headache along to her.
“Why?!” The blonde cried out as she cradled her face in her hands. “Why would you think unmasking a gang with as many Capes as the Empire is a good idea?! Even if all the heroes go on high alert, the second they get outed the Empire is going to throw a fit.”
“To be fair, it isn’t my plan and I think that was part of the point. I’m just not stopping it. Not that I really could.” I shrugged. I wasn’t entirely lying either. Coil’s plan to unmask the Empire had dozens of moving parts. Calls to CPS, inquiries to the FBI and local police, paid actors to spread the information fast enough the PRT couldn’t take it down or cover it up… all of that and more was already in motion even before I’d grabbed the snake.
Coil had been thorough in his preparations to take down the Empire. Really the only thing I decided to change was pinning the blame for the whole thing on Coil himself instead of his original plan to frame my Peerage retaliating for Kaiser outing us.
“Uuugh, fine. Whatever. Are you at least going to let the PRT know too?” Crystal groaned.
“Nope. Partially because I’m sure they are going to ask several things I just don’t have answers for-” Or didn’t want to give answers for. “-and because I don’t really have much proof I can show them. I figured I’d pass the word on through you, they can either do something about it or ignore it like the last time we tried this, and then we deal with the fallout when it happens.”
“Fffffffffuuuu-ahugh, you know what? Sure. I’ll pass it along.” She groaned, dragging a hand down her face. “Anything else I should know? Like why all of you were out dressed like cheap halloween construction workers the other day?”
“Amy managed to crack how to formalize contracts after the ABB attacks. Thanks to the Director’s deal, we’re taking the opportunity to get people used to seeing them passed out and using them while also showing the Empire we aren’t afraid of them.” I said seriously before slipping into a grin. “Plus it gives us an excuse to play around with magic in public while helping clean up the city!”
Crystal snorted at the real reason my Peerage was playing dress-up. “Wait, you said Amy cracked it? Wasn’t this one of the big projects you were working on?”
I nodded at her.
As great as Devil Magic was, there were several things I couldn’t just throw demonic power at and hope things worked out. Proper contracts were one of those.
Another was properly enchanted objects instead of the wards we currently had, which were basically just spells feeding off crude magic batteries, or Carl’s gadgets which were just jailbroken tinkertech. I had no illusions about reverse engineering Evil Pieces any time soon, but there were plenty of other items we could make if we managed to figure out actual enchanting. But the big one I was after was figuring out how to create dimensionally displaced arenas so we could fight without worrying about constantly destroying our surroundings or of bystanders getting in the way.
If we could figure out how to include the automatic ejection feature when someone received too much damage like what was used for the Rating Games then we’d be able to host full contact tournaments for people with powers without the normal issues like spectators getting hit with a stray laser beam or collapsing building.
Hell, if we could figure out how to let other people make them I could see a superpowered sports league popping up with enough time. The thought of something like the Rating Games spreading across Earth Bet was actually really exciting to me.
“We’re still figuring things out, obviously, but it’s been working out great so far.”
“Just as long as you don’t end up locked into another contract with a gang leader.”
I waved her off. “We have a breakout clause on all the papers that lets us dissolve the contract if we don’t want to do it or if we end up getting tricked. Unless one of us consciously makes a deal without a contract form, my mistake with Kaiser won’t happen again.”
Crystal blinked at that. “Wait, so you can just break any contract on your end with no downsides whenever you want? That’s so against national contract law it’s not even funny.”
“Well, it’s not completely free.” I chuckled at her expression. I guess growing up with a lawyer for an Aunt skewed some of her priorities, no one in my Peerage had even blinked at including that when Amy came up with the idea. “We obviously lose out on the power boost from completing the deal and any payment, but I think it’s worth the safety net.”
“With that on them I’m surprised anyone bothers taking you up on a deal.”
“I think it’s mostly that people either can’t read yiddish or assume it’s random decoration.” I shrugged. “If anyone has a problem with it, they can always appeal to my bosses.”
“You don’t have a boss.” Crystal deadpanned at me, which just made me smile. She was right after all. ”Fine, anything else you wanted to talk about besides your excessively illegal contracts or the second gang war about to break out?”
“Nope, that’s all I needed to catch you up with.”
“Really? Nothing about the Birdcage convict you have hiding out in your house? Or how you somehow managed to get the PRT to back off when they were literally camping on your front lawn a few weeks ago? Or how you roped a Protectorate patrol into playing dress up?”
She sounded annoyed about some of those.
“Um, as far as Paige is concerned, the whole trial was a sham of a kangaroo court and absolutely did not deserve the sentence she got. No idea what I’m going to do with her long term, but for now I’m fine just letting her hang out at the mansion and figure out her next steps. Messing with Battery, Vista, and Clockblocker was more just a spur of the moment thing I thought’d be funny. Which it was.”
Crystal crossed her arms. “And the PRT? They were pretty rabid about getting a hold of you from what I remember. What did you do?"
“Would you believe me if I said nothing?”
“No.”
“Well, tough, because that’s pretty much it!” I laughed. “Piggot herself called us and gave us a deal while the city gets back on its feet. We aren’t suddenly heroes in their eyes or anything, but the Director promised to leave us alone if we don’t rock the boat too hard. I’m hoping we can swing it so we can eventually stage ‘villain’ attacks as public shows like what I originally wanted to do the New Wave before everything… well, just everything.” I trailed off.
“Yeah, we never did get to do that before things went crazy, did we?” Crystal mused. “Alright, I’ll believe that for now. I’m guessing she didn’t know things were already in motion with the Empire?”
“I kinda forgot to mention it when I found out Paladin was the one responsible for saving Dinah and catching most of the Travelers.”
“I know you have issues with him, but he’s considered one of the fastest rising heroes on the East Coast for a reason.” Crystal pointed out, which… kinda blew my mind.
“Seriously!? Him?!”
“According to PHO, yeah. Though I can understand where you’re coming from with everything you’ve told me about him, but most civilians don’t see that side of him. It gets kinda lost when all they see is him helping out and making arrests.”
“It’s still wild.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t say it wasn’t. But pretty much everyone is like that. Bastion was considered pretty nice before that video of him cursing out that kid came out. It’s not surprising people don’t know that Paladin is just like that all the time instead of playing it up in public.”
Crystal stood up and dusted off her pants. “Anyway, I’ve got to get going. I have an apartment tour in a bit and I want to make sure I find the place okay.”
“You know you, Eric, and Vicky could always just stay at my place for a bit, right?” I offered once again like the last time this came up but Crystal was already shaking her head.
“I’d rather not.” She said simply.
“Well, offer’s open.” I said, standing up myself. “I need to go have a conversation with a group of my new minions about how things are going to work from now on.”
“...I don’t want to know.” I could see Crystal fighting the desire to know more, despite her words, and eventually walking off without asking more.
I guess she was really serious about finding a place of her own this time.
And I guess that meant I had no reason to delay my own chore anymore either.