RE: Trailer Trash 64, They Don't Stop Coming

/// The complete chapter 64. Sorry for the delay! No huge changes from the teaser drafts this time, mostly just minor tweaks. Redid some sentences and fixed some dialogue.

    “Well—how do you feel?!” Mrs. Macintire asked as the Acura pulled away from the parking lot and left Springton General Hospital behind. “Excited?”

    “Unbothered!” Tabitha answered with a sigh of contentment. “Moisturized. Happy. In my lane. Focused. Flourishing.”

    “Oh, all that, huh?” Mrs. Macintire said with a chuckle. “Sounds good, sounds good. And, your hand’s doin’ okay? You’re holding it all weird.”

    “It’s okay,” Tabitha reported. “Just need to get used to things again.”

    She glanced down at where she was cradling that arm tucked in up against herself. With her slightly thin and pale wrist held still just beneath her chin, it gave her the posture of someone who was taken aback—it looked like she was caught in a surprised gasp or clutching at their pearls. Although that wasn’t the case, Tabitha still felt weirdly protective of the hand now that it didn’t have the rigid shell of a cast protecting it from the cruel savagery of the late nineties world.

    “Hm, if you say so!” Sandra quirked her lip. “So. McDonald’s? As your treat for being so good through your hospital visits? It’s just gettin’ around to lunchtime at school, I’d bet, and that’s usually what we do. I remember Hannah just loved showing up with a Happy Meal box when she came back to school from a half-day. Make all the other little girls green with envy.”

    “Hah, no that’s okay, really,” Tabitha shook her head. “I’m not Hannah! I was never too into McDonalds, and I don’t really have lunch. I just—”

    “Ohhh, I see,” Mrs. Macintire gave her a knowing smile. “Yeah, that makes sense. That Bobby boy will still be at school this time, so obviously—”

    “—I just, well yes, actually, I do want to see him, but not even just him!” Tabitha groaned in exasperation. “I want to try to catch all of my friends before school’s out for the weekend. I think I’m hoping we can have a get-together Saturday or Sunday, and I don’t have everyone’s number.”

    “Ooh, go on,” Mrs. Macintire prompted.

    “Bobby wanted, well,” Tabitha laughed. “He wanted to watch that movie he gave me for my birthday with me. Buuuttt, I told him I’m not sure I’m ready to have uhhh, like one on one alone time with him just yet watching a movie or have it be like ‘a date.’ But, I am comfortable watching the movie together with a bunch of friends, and sitting next to him and holding hands maybe or whatever for that seems fine.”

    “OooOOOoooh!” Mrs. Macintire crooned in excitement. “Holdin’ hands?! My goodness!?!”

    “Har har, yes, it’s very funny,” Tabitha rolled her eyes in perfect teenage exasperation. “I mean, just. That’s where my comfort zone is, and I was clear with him on my boundaries with all of that. Need to be super clear with all of that, because, because. I’m weird I guess, I dunno, and I don’t want him to be—to be disappointed, or frustrated, or, well, okay I know he’s going to be frustrated, but at least this way I figure I’ll be giving him uhh. Ample warning? More of a heads up? That I’m not like a normal girl, and that I’m gonna need a bit of extra time with some things. To get used to some things.”

    “Okay?” Mrs. Macintire gave her a quizzical look, trying not to let her big smile falter. “Tabitha honey, that’s perfectly reasonable? I don’t know why you’d think that’s so weird or unusual?”

    “I just. I’m trying to map this out for myself?!” Tabitha gave the woman a mighty shrug. “Because. If I don’t um, don’t plan things through or actually make an effort to make sure things start to happen, then I know with one hundred percent certainty that nothing will ever, ever happen. And that I’ll grow old without ever making meaningful connections, just confused at where all the years even went, and baffled as to why all my dreams never just randomly came true out of the blue like they were supposed to from books and TV. I’ll wind up miserable and alone and full of regret.”

    “Oh, stop,” Mrs. Macintire scoffed. “So dramatic. That’s not what would happen! If you even think—”

    “It really is. I don’t think, I know,” Tabitha said with grim certainty. “So. I’m going to deal with it. Moderately, I mean—in moderation. I’m not going to be jumping into boy’s beds. Just, I figure. Holding hands and hugging’s okay at fourteen? First kiss is acceptable at sixteen. They don’t need to be like, wild make out kisses with all the crazy tongue stuff, that’s… that’s a bridge too far. For that age. Anything else, anything at all, eighteen will be the bare minimum for anything else to happen. Consenting adults, mature and more… I don’t know? Hopefully grown up enough that the thought of it won’t send me into th-this, this lunatic panic spiral of, of identity issues and anxiety and, and—”

    “Whoa whoa whoa, okay calm down a bit,” Mrs. Macintire said. “Do we need to have a talk? Tabitha? Seriously. You’re okay, everything’s fine and there’s nothing you would ever need to panic about! Alright? And, if there was, or if there is—then if there’s any kind of problem, I need you to talk to me about that, so that I can help you. Tabitha.”

    “I—I do appreciate that,” Tabitha groaned. “It’s just. I can’t talk about it. It’s all in my head right now, anyways. It doesn’t even make sense.”

    “At your age, everything’s supposed to feel like that,” Mrs. Macintire assured her. “Just—if anything’s happened or happening or if there’s any problems, I do need to know what’s going on as soon as possible! If, if anyone’s ever touched you inappropriately, or—”

    “No, no,” Tabitha shook her head. “Nothing has happened like that, I promise. It’s—it’s mostly body issues. I used to be fat, and all. Tubby Tabby. Insecurities! I have some other uh, mental hangups about dating or relationships that are partly to do with that, and partly to do with some other stuff that I’m not comfortable talking about. But it’s not like, anything bad being done, or someone’s abusing me or something. I promise. I swear.”

    “Okay,” Mrs. Macintire said. “And, again. You’re a teenage girl, so any kind of body issues, or worrying about your image, or having some anxiety over that is completely normal. If you ever want to talk about—”

    “I’m alright!” Tabitha assured her, blushing furiously. “No need, no need. No need. But uh, thank you? I think—I think I’m just gonna stick to my plan. Take it slow, do things in baby steps. Holding hands at fourteen and getting used to that. Kissing at sixteen, and that gives me a couple years getting used to, ah, to that level of intimacy without like. Freaking out. You know?”

    “If you say so,” Mrs. Macintire mused. “I just think you’re… well, you won’t be able to hear it even if I say it! You’re young. S’one of those things.”

    “What?” Tabitha asked.

    “I just think that you’re uh, awfully optimistic about things going to plan?” Mrs. Macintire said with a wry smile. “Shoot, how’s that saying go? Hubby used to say it. Uhh, it’s like, few plans survive contact with the enemy? Maybe even no plan survives contact with the enemy?”

    “I don’t think Bobby’s quite like that!” Tabitha leapt to the boy’s defense. “An enemy, or adversarial, or anything. He seems very… laid back? Casual with things? I don’t think he’ll be too pushy, or try to guilt me into going further with things, or—”

    “Kiddo, I didn’t mean him,” Sandra said, giving her side-eye. “You’re young. There’s hormones. I said all those same things, I planned to be prudent, was just so sure of it. It’s easy to decide those things when you’re not in the heat of the moment. But, then you’re actually there and you get to making out, and one thing seems to lead to another, or this to that, and suddenly you’re pushing him down, or he’s pushing you down—well. You get the idea. In the moment it’s going to feel right, your brain’s gonna be giving you go signals, and you’re just going to want to go with it.”

    Tabitha opened her mouth to argue that, but no words materialized, and with another surge of embarrassment she fidgeted with a hand over her mouth and looked the other way. The fourteen-year-old in her was at complete odds with what this woman was saying, because of course Tabitha would be special and different and surely an exception to all of that. The rest of Tabitha, whatever all that even was, instead was experiencing that familiar sinking feeling of dread.

    Because… she’s right, Tabitha grudgingly admitted to herself. She’s completely fucking right. It’s like I can prepare all the right things to say in my head, the arguments or whatever I have laid out to counter anything my dad or Aunt Lisa or whoever might say… but then IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT, some other side of me takes control, and then. Yeah, and then rationality and all of my best laid plans are chucked out the window.

    “It’s cute that you have it all worked out!” Mrs. Macintire was obviously struggling not to sound too patronizing, and failing. “Uhh, I don’t mean cute, I mean like—that’s good. That’s cool? Just, those kinda plans can kinda evaporate on you outta nowhere and not be anywhere to be found when you need them! It’s not even a youth thing. I don’t mean it just like that. Tons of adults make New Years resolutions to diet, or get back into exercise routines or all that, but how many of them last more than a few weeks? That’s just, you know. Being human.”

    “I am definitely very human, I’m realizing,” Tabitha said with a wistful sigh. “With all of the failings that implies. I just. Some part of me is hoping that by uh, by verbalizing my plan, by being super clear with Bobby, by making sure there’s other kids around to hold us accountable for what I’m saying—that all of that will help keep us on the rails. On the track. On the plan, I guess. Keep us on program.”

    “Serious talk—are you crushing on Bobby?” Mrs. Macintire softened her voice. “Not judging, or anything! Not gonna tease you if you say yes here, and you don’t have to immediately jump to denying it or refusing it or—”

    “I’m not sure what I feel!” Tabitha was honest. “I think I’m crushing a little bit, but it doesn’t feel like a certain thing. Or an overwhelming thing. Maybe I just have too much else going on. I’ve had a crush before, once, and that was—I don’t even know how to describe it. It felt more obsessive? But there was also more of a fantasy vibe to that, because I guess the rational part of my lizard brain just outright refused to entertain my being in an actual  relationship with him as any kind of realistic possibility. So. It felt like a crush, but more it was something it was safe to fantasize about without the danger of any of that ever actually happening.”

    “Okay,” Mrs. Macintire nodded. “And, different with Bobby?”

    “I… like Bobby?” Tabitha admitted. “I don’t know how much. I’m still fighting back against some of my mental hangups and reservations about, um, all of this, and while at the same time I think I’m also trying to firmly stamp out or control some other parts of… I don’t know how to explain. I’m in a weird mental place, right now. With everything. I like Bobby, because he’s cute and he makes me feel comfortable. Puts me at ease. That’s, uh, rare I guess? For me to feel. Absolutely in relation to boys, and something about that feeling is this strange kind of addictive?”

    “Okay, alright,” Mrs. Macintire perked up. “That’s something.”

    “Now, does he turn me on?” Tabitha laughed. “I have no idea. I feel like I’m still mentally repressing my sexuality too much for me to even tell. He’s cute? Attractive, I guess? Do I see a future or envision some life we could have together? Honestly, no. But that has to do with a lot of my me problem things, and probably not much to do with him personally? Do I get that overwhelming, obsessive sort of stalkerish feelings for him? Not really, no. With this other guy I once had a crush on—a long time ago, don’t even ask—I would like, go out of my way and sit in a certain place at lunch, because I knew I could see him from there. Which is. Yeah, super cringe.”

    “Okay,” Mrs. Macintire sounded thoughtful. “And, well—you don’t have to answer if you don’t wanna say, but the first crush guy, did you feel sexy things about him? Fantasize about having some storybook future with him, write his name in your notebook over and over or whatever, all that stuff?”

    “Hmm, maybe?” Tabitha thought back. “Slightly? Just, probably not completely. Did I think about him, uh, sexually? Then, yes. But, that was like a completely closed off private fantasy, and I had that um. Mentally cordoned off from reality or anything that would ever happen, if that makes sense.”

    “Alright,” Mrs. Macintire said. “Tell you what. I think I’d like you to see a therapist.”

    “It’s not that bad!” Tabitha let out an unsure laugh at Mrs. Macintire’s sudden serious tone. “Is it?! I, uh, I feel like the way I am is still pretty normal, all things considered and—”

    “No, Tabitha, Tabitha calm down,” Mrs. Macintire shushed her. “I don’t mean it like all that. I think therapy is a completely normal thing that a lot of, if not most girls should get into, if they’re able to. Someone to talk to about this kind of stuff who isn’t some kind of parent figure. Like, you and I, we can get into it and it’s not super weird, but I just don’t want there to be anything weird or awkward between us, and… yeah, honestly I do not need to know about your sex life or any of that.”

    “Right—yeah,” Tabitha babbled, ashamed and amused and horrified all at once. “I get it!”

    “It’s just, you say things like I’m mentally repressing my sexuality, and uhh, it’s hard not to immediately in my head jump to conclusions, or worry, or freak out a tiny bit?” Mrs. Macintire said. “Worrying about the hows and whys as to where that would even go about happening. I worry about you. A lot. I’ve had cause to worry, and that’s already no picnic.”

    “I am sorry for—”

    “Hut tut tut, don’t even apologize!” Mrs. Macintire waved her off. “It’s a mom thing. Trust me. So—therapist. Yes? No? I’d like you to think it over, at least. You’ve been through a lot, and I think having someone completely neutral on everything would make you feel like you’re a lot more free to speak your mind. About whatever you need to. Whereas I might hear that, for instance, cheerleaders are bugging you at school, and be like—does Springton High REALLY need a Cheer team? Between Karen and I, we could totally get it disbanded. Totally!”

    “Th-that’s not funny!” Tabitha sat up in alarm. “Please don’t even joke.”

    “I’m keeping my cool!” Sandra chuckled. “It’s honestly Karen you’ve got to worry about. She knows everyone when it comes to all the parents around town and everything. There was this one little league coach way back when, who flipped out on Matthew? Whoo-boy.”

    “I don’t want to hear!” Tabitha was now able to use both hands to cover her ears, and she once again marveled at being free from that cast.

    “Let’s just say Officer Williams found the guy a few days later,” Mrs. Macintire teased. “Apparently, the guy had fallen down an elevator shaft! Onto some bullets. Craziest accident they ever saw. If he had—”

    “I don’t believe a word!” Tabitha snorted. “Yeah, right! As if.”

    “Well okay, so we’re not gonna Nancy Kerrigan some snotty cheerleader types for you,” Mrs. Macintire laughed. “But, we can definitely put some pressure on them and get them to back off you a bit. Get parents on their case about it. Like I said, Karen knows everyone, and honestly? She can be pushy as hell. Believe me.”

    “Somehow I feel very confident that that kind of outside interference would only make everything worse for me,” Tabitha said. “If they were being physical or like pushing me off a curb—then by all means, yes. Stealing my binder, taking my towel? Okay, sure. Theft isn’t okay, either. But, as for the rest, everything else—I feel like this needs to be my own battle. For me to get anywhere with them.”

    “You and Elena, if the both of you are trying out for Cheer,” Mrs. Macintire pointed out. “I hope we’re seeing her this weekend for the movie? What movie was it? Theater again, or are you watching at home? I can make Hannah and myself scarce.”

    “Oh, um, Willow, on VHS,” Tabitha said. “Bobby did say that it might be too scary for Hannah. It’s some kind of… sword and sorcery movie, I think? I’m not too familiar. I think I caught bits and pieces of Conan the Barbarian with Arnold, but I’ve never seen the whole thing through so that I could ever make sense of what was going on.”

    “Willow?” Mrs. Macintire asked. “Like, Val Kilmer Willow? From like, the eighties? Late eighties?”

    “I… think so?” Tabitha tried to remember. “Probably?”

    “I’ve seen that!” Mrs. Macintire laughed. “Heck. We might have that on tape somewhere, already. I think Hubby might, tucked away with his not Hannah’s Disney movies stuff. In our room. And I mean not like porn, but just—you know. Guns, and violence, and macho stuff. Swearing. Stuff we don’t need a curious Hannah-banana popping into the VCR some random afternoon when we’re not paying attention.”

    “Hannah does know he has his own movies there,” Tabitha admitted. “She says they’re all really boring old people ones. She didn’t try to play them! Just, yeah she does snoop around everywhere. She’s seven.”

    “Good Lord,” Mrs. Macintire shook her head. “S’only gonna get worse at eight or nine. Probably time we get him a desk or cabinet or something that locks—and one for you, too. So you can store whatever you need to and have privacy. We have a little gun safe that she knows not to touch, and anything else we don’t want her into, we put way up high on the back closet shelf. But, next couple years? I doubt that just that will keep her out of whatever she wants to nose through.”

    “I poked around my parent’s closet once,” Tabitha sighed. “Big mistake. Haunted me for years!”

    “Nudie magazines?” Mrs. Macintire laughed. “Hah.”

    “Worse, sort of?” Tabitha said. “Though, there was this one time a nudie magazine got left in the bathroom by someone, and urggphll—!”

    Only by mimicking a throwing up noise could she express the reality of finding errant pornography left laying about by her parents. Thinking of them as complete human beings with their own sexuality was just abhorrent—their love needed to be completely platonic. Parents needed to be caregivers who kept any overt displays of affection out of public eye. Preferably behind closed doors, even, in Tabitha’s opinion.

    Seeing them start to kiss in this lifetime DID really freak me out… okay, maybe them not normally doing that kind of thing in front of me is why my sexuality was always kind of muted? Not seeing my parents ever be romantic with each other. ROMANCE was relegated to just TV and fiction in my formative years, and mentally it struggled to grow out of that box when I grew up?

    “Worse?! Oh noooo,” Sandra gasped—probably imagining Tabitha had stumbled across a dildo or something of that sort. “You poor thing!”

    “Well, not that kind of worse,” Tabitha shook her head. “My mother had this blue photo album. Modeling pictures. Not nude stuff, mind you. Thank God. But, uh, lots of photoshoot stuff from back way back when before she had me. She was thin and beautiful back when she was in high school, and was trying to go out to Hollywood to become an actress.”

    “Ah, right, right,” Mrs. Macintire said. “I remember her getting into that the other night. That’s not so bad. She knew Winona Ryder!” 

    “Well, at the time she had been keeping all of that secret,” Tabitha said. “So, it was a big shock to me. At the time. That she’d had this whole past where she was a completely different person… and then the way I had always known her, she was this very miserable, depressed, on-her-way-to-morbidly-obese shut in woman. Who can’t go outside because she has anxieties about people seeing her for how she is now. At the time, it made me think that—yeah, that having me must have just ruined her life.”

    “Aw, honey, I’m sure that—”

    “I know! I know,” Tabitha shrugged. “It was just the conclusion I jumped to. Had that thought in my head for… way too many years, and I think it might’ve started twisting me up a bit? Psychologically? We’ve talked about it since then. It’s something I need to work through some more. Probably. Once I’d in my head decided that was the reason, that’s hard to shake? Even knowing now that it doesn’t seem to have been the case at all.”

    “Tabitha?” Mrs. Macintire gave her a glance that was equal parts concerned and amused. “We’re getting you a therapist.”

    “...Yeah, we probably should, huh,” Tabitha sighed. “Sorry for uh. For dumping exposition on you? I guess.”

    “No—it’s not that, I love talking with you,” Mrs. Macintire said. “Hey. Seriously. This morning’s been great. I really, really hope I’ll be able to just shoot the breeze like this and have candid talks with Hannah, someday. But, with you, I. Well, I feel like there’s a lot you’re not comfortable telling me. And, that’s okay! Because of our positions and everything that’s awkward, sure.

    “I do need to make sure you have someone you can tell anything to, without worrying about any kind of—well,” Mrs. Macintire made a face. “Your high school friends are great, and I hope you do talk to them, too. Just, well. I’m no stranger to having girls from school you thought you could trust, turn and stab you in the back with things said in confidence. So. Therapist.”

    “Therapist,” Tabitha agreed.

    To Tabitha’s disappointment their talk had to end here, because already the car was pulling into the front loop of Springton High. She found herself really surprised by how much she enjoyed bonding with Mrs. Macintire—this whole morning had been really great. There was just something uniquely different about their relationship dynamic that made it so much easier to talk about some things with the woman, rather than the sort of discourse she held with her teenage friends.

    “Alright, kiddo,” Mrs. Macintire began to slow as she brought them on their final approach. “This is your stop.”

    The stretch of curb of the bus loop was empty of buses this early in the day, and all of the walkways visible from here were devoid of people, but the staff and student parking lots were both full. The familiar high school buildings and distant stretches of portables felt like it was simmering with anticipation for the lunch bell, rather than desolate and truly empty.

    I DO also love chatting with my high school friends, it’s just also—high school isn’t REAL, exactly, Tabitha thought with a wry smile. It’s real enough to high schoolers, but high school is also this SOCIAL BUBBLE that is going to pop. I need to hold that bitter truth, especially if I still have it in my head that I want to be POPULAR IN HIGH SCHOOL for once. It’s a beautiful, mesmerizing goal I just can’t seem to weed out of my heart, but yeah also always need to remember that high school ISN’T the real world. It’s a bizarro caricaturized microcosm of society, with different rules and ways about it.

    It was easy enough for her to view it as taking baby steps towards her real development as a person—if she could navigate her way through the trials of high school for what she wanted, she could do the same and progress through adult life like that. Rather than spend a lifetime avoiding everything and slinking alone with shoulders hunched along some path of least resistance until someday inevitably realizing that youth had fled her by without her ever getting a proper taste of any of it.

    “Have fun at school now hun, but not too much fun, alright?” Sandra teased. “You just got that thing fixed, so don’t go breakin’ it again right away!”

    “I—I’ll be careful!” Tabitha let out a groan of exasperation as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door. “So, it’s—is it cool if I invite people over for the weekend? This weekend?”

    “Of course!” Mrs. Macintire assured her. “Yeah, that’s totally cool. Probably won’t be able to help much with getting whoever needs a ride here and there around, though. So, keep that in mind!”

    “I will!” Tabitha beamed. “Thank you. For everything… Mom.”

    “You’re fixin’ to make me blush,” Mrs. Macintire drawled, donning her shades. “Go on girl, get!”

* * *

    Without the weight of the cast encasing her arm Tabitha felt extraordinarily light on her feet, and there was pep in her step as she bounded down the silent walkways of the school campus. From the last glance she’d taken at the clock built into the Acura’s dashboard the school day here was somewhere in the middle of third period, so she was heading in that direction—Marisa from her first period Personal Fitness class was also in that one with her, so she would be able to catch up with her right away.

    Then, at lunch I’ll stop by the usual table and invite ‘Licia and ‘Lena to come by this weekend, Tabitha decided. Just a quick stop though, because I need to make sure I find the Tiffany and Grace and invite them, too. And, Bobby! In case he’s not at the table with ‘Licia and ‘Lena. Vanessa I’ll see in sixth period, and I can invite her then.

    The storm of drama and conflict with the cheerleaders still seemed to rumble with ominous portents overhead, but since today was Friday a break in the dark clouds was appearing. Tabitha was going to ensure her weekend was nothing but celebrating with friends and reconnecting with family. She would have a big living room get-together on Saturday with popcorn and maybe chips while they watched this Willow movie Bobby was so excited for, and then she was planning to spend that night instead at her old home in the trailer court so that she could spend some time with her mother. That way, Sunday morning she could walk over and see her goblin brats and maybe take them to the playground.

    I can maybe run around and play with them A BIT, Tabitha decided as she navigated her way down empty school walkways. So long as I don’t use my weaker hand, things should be fine. It’ll be a nice HANDICAP for them! To see how I fare against them with one arm metaphorically tied behind my back! Hehehe…

    The arm in question felt unquestionably liberated, and Tabitha enjoyed being able to feel the sensation of her hoodie’s long sleeve sliding against the bare skin of her wrist. Her new habit was twisting and working that wrist, closing her fingers into a tight fist and then splaying them out to stretch everything. There were twinges of discomfort and phantom aches of protest there as she was pushing muscles back into motion that had been forced still and dormant for months, but most of all it simply felt great.

    Plus, my head got cleared for duty again! Tabitha couldn’t help but beam. They said I can exercise and be active again—in moderation. And, that I should wear a helmet if I do anything more physical like biking or such, but honestly I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to do that anyways if you’re under eighteen. Or, maybe actually the Kentucky legislature for that only passed in the 2030s? You’re in the nineties still, Tabitha!

    Before she knew it, she had arrived at the portable where her third period Geometry class was. When she swung open the door and entered, Tabitha felt her face heat up as the entire class looked up from their worksheets to eyeball her. There were a few smirks and several scowls, but most of the class reacted to her sudden intrusion with disinterest and returned to their assignment. Marisa sat up in her seat near Tabitha’s vacant one and all but wriggled with urgency and excitement.

    “You have a slip?” The teacher asked with a glance of indifference.

    “Yeah, sorry,” Tabitha hurried over to his desk.

    Drawing the doctor’s note out of her pocket and unfolding it was child’s play now that she had two working hands! It was amazing to marvel at what a difference having both hands in play again made to every trivial little aspect of her life. She could wash dishes on her own again. Tie her shoelaces in a matter of seconds. Tabitha could multitask, she could hold objects with one hand while having the other free to gesture, or scratch itches, or hold things steady.

    “I got my cast off!” Tabitha couldn’t help but blurt out as her math teacher peered down his glasses at the contents of the offered paper. “Finally.”

    “Hey, good for you,” He actually put in effort to sound less apathetic, which impressed her. “We’re solving for triangles. Here, worksheet for you. This one was due by the end of class, but you can hand it in on Monday—I’ll mark you down for Monday. There’s also homework for over the weekend from the book, third period is doing all the odd problems, or you can do even and odd for extra credit. Page numbers are up on the board, there. Also due on Monday, so make sure you get it all written down.”

    “I—I will, thank you,” Tabitha bowed her head as he returned her doctor’s note and also passed her a worksheet.

    As she shuffled over to her seat, Marisa pantomimed clapping in applause for Tabitha getting her cast off and gave her silent thumbs up with a big smile—the classroom was too quiet for the girl to interrupt everyone by saying anything out loud. Tabitha returned an embarrassed smile but also shoved back her sleeve to show off her healed hand, because while her own enthusiasm had her feeling bubbly, seeing her friends just as thrilled for her made Tabitha ecstatic. At this point, nothing in this world could bring down her cheery mood!

    Though the worksheet certainly tried.

    The Geometry assignment was one of those ghastly bad photocopy of a photocopy of an already blurry printout like many school worksheets were back in the nineties, and though Tabitha saw that the angles of the many tiny triangles in the problems were labeled clearly enough—mostly—she had to squint her eyes hard and really puzzle out the rest. She could probably determine what each of the smudgy miniscule lines of text were asking for the questions, but it would also take some guesswork and outright leaps of faith.

    I really lament for futures past, where I could just CTRL + PLUS to zoom in and make tiny illegible text big enough to read on assignments, Tabitha sighed. All of this ‘physical paper copies of assignments’ stuff was fun at first, but the novelty of it all wore away really fast.

    To her annoyance, there were forty problems squeezed onto the single sided sheet of this page, and coupling that with additional weekend homework seemed like blatant overkill to teach concepts like triangle inequality and angle sum theory. Repetition was the mother of learning, but as a returner to this timeline already Tabitha was finding a lot of the highschool material turning into absolute chores to complete. Plying her advanced knowledge to different subjects to breeze through everything at speed was only something she could do for certain classes. With courses with sadistic teachers like here with Geometry, it was as if he was trying to keep everyone as occupied as possible with useless make-work just because he could!

    You either know how to do them, or you don’t! Tabitha hid an exasperated smile. No need to beat us over the head with busywork for it!

    Still, Tabitha saw this as a challenge. Despite arriving ten minutes before the end of class and everyone else getting a big headstart, she raced through solving each of the problems and finished the entire thing with just moments to spare. Her brain felt a bit overworked and frazzled, but she was also very proud of herself for catching up to everyone, and she passed her paper forward with the rest of her row rather than turning it in on Monday.

    In the scant few minutes before the bell for lunch would ring everyone was free to chat so long as they weren’t too loud or disruptive, and so Marisa immediately turned sideways in her seat and leaned in close so they could talk.

    “Tabitha!” Marisa whispered. “Oh my God. This time all of the cheerleaders came by the field this morning. To protest. It was this big huge thing. All of them were talking down on you and Elena both, and then Vanessa ran up to interrupt, and they all got into it for a bit! We were supposed to be walking ‘round and like, doing our loop around the track but Tiffany pretends she’s tying her shoe so that we can listen in, and oh my God...”

    “Never a dull moment, huh?” Tabitha giggled, rolling her eyes. “I’m glad they’re all having fun, at least? How are they all allowed to come bother other classes in the morning?! And, it’s like—really? The two of them are the ones who stole from me.”

    “I know, right?!” Marisa agreed with fervor. “They were going on and on about all the rumors about you, or saying that you’re just out to get the whole team, or like you’re going to get them shut down if you can’t join. I don’t know what B.S. Desiree and and Faith have been feeding Heather. I liked Heather, I thought she was cool, I thought she woulda been above all of this! Nope. Guess not. Hah…”

   “Well, I’m sorry I missed out on all the drama,” Tabitha chuckled. “Oh, but hey! Are you busy this weekend? I wanted to have a little get together to celebrate getting my cast off. Bobby, my friends Alicia and Elena, you girls from Personal Fitness. Thought we could watch a movie, eat. Hang out, that sorta thing. Saturday?”

    “Uhhh maybe?” Marisa blinked. “Where do you live? What time?”

    “I can write down the address, and like—I dunno, we could meet up noonish?” Tabitha shrugged as she fished out a blank sheet of notebook paper. “So that we can sleep in. Since, weekend. Bobby really wants us all to see Willow. It’s this old eighties movie he got me for my birthday.”

    “Oh, cool,” Marisa nodded. “Willow. I don’t… think that I’ve seen it? The only Willow I know is from Buffy.”

    “Here,” Tabitha wrote out the Macintire address. “And then—here, the number there. If you can’t get a ride, let me know whenever and I’ll try to figure something out.”

    “I might be able to walk it?” Marisa said. “I’m living with my grandparents now, we’re off like back behind State street. Like—do you know where State street is?”

    “Oh yeah,” Tabitha nodded, passing her the phone number. “That’s… hmm. I mean you could walk it, but that’s a long walk? We’ll see. Do you have a bike, or anything?”

    “Nah,” Marisa shook her head. “I had one yeah, but it’s not here at my grandparent’s.”

    “No worries,” Tabitha assured her. “Call me tonight, or if I can get your number, I can call you? If Elena can go, her mom’ll probably be cool with swinging by and picking you up too. Her mom’s super cool.”

    “Sure—yeah,” Marisa tore the bottom off of the paper with Tabitha’s number so that she could write her own number to give. “Here. Uh, should I bring anything? Chips or pop or something?”

    “If you want to?” Tabitha said. “Not mandatory or anything, I’m just kinda throwing plans together last minute and I’m sure we can—”

    The lunch bell resounded across the school intercom speakers in that familiar bmmm bmmm bmmm bmmm, and the third period Geometry class all lurched up from their seats, shouldering backpacks and gathering their books.

    “—I’m sure we can figure out something!” Tabitha finished. “Or like, if everyone’s hungry I can just cook! That’d be cool. Uh hey, do you happen to know where Tiff and Grace sit at lunch?”

* * *

    By the time her third period class finally ended and lunch bell sounded, Elena was seething with irritation. The plan had been to start building a rapport with Brett by starting to talk with him after returning his pencil. Innocuous small talk could very naturally morph into casually getting to know each other just by controlling the direction of questions and never falling into the trap of going on and on about herself. She would need to ask him questions to establish interest, and their relationship would naturally elevate from acquaintances to casual friends, which was the yet another stepping stone on Elena’s plan for a normal and natural relationship someday with the boy, where he would eventually ask her out.

    Time is running out, and I really need things to start happening, Elena though in frustration as she stomped down the corridor towards the back quad. But, thanks to VANESSA…

    Shared history in Girl Scouts aside, Elena had never much cared for Vanessa in the first place.

    Thus, Elena’s dismay and disappointment could be imagined when today instead of having time to interact with Brett in the scarce window she got to see him each school day, Vanessa had turned in her seat and was going on and on and on about how she’d been arguing with the cheerleaders this morning. Normally another episode of the cheer drama would have been incredibly interesting to her because of how involved Elena also was in all of that, but the fact of the matter was that Elena didn’t want to continue rushing into conflict with the cheerleaders. Not until she had a firm social foothold in the form of a tall and cute freshman boyfriend who had a major ‘in’ with the basketball guys.

    I know how vicious bitches think, BECAUSE I AM ONE, Elena scowled. Or, I was one. They’re trying to rip into me now because I’m isolated off into a group of three who are ALSO easy pickings—it’s Alicia, Tabitha and myself. Can’t even reasonably count Clarissa and Ashlee in with us, they’re more liabilities than anything else. Bobby is too much of a social butterfly, and until Tabs can quit flip-flopping on her stupid made up future BS and make up her mind about him, we can’t really tie him down to us.

    Making inroads with Lurch—Brett—and therefore tapping the basketball crowd he was in good standing with would help tremendously with giving serious pause to their opponents entrenched in Cheer. Football was still king when it came to high school, but basketball players were a good third of Springton High’s athletics department because of constant Kentucky Wildcats fervor, the influence of Space Jam, and the sport’s simple flexible nature which easily allowed for shooting hoops no matter how few or many people showed up.

    A good number of ‘basketball boys’ were well known and popular with everyone. Every street in Springton had at least one driveway with a basketball hoop, and it wasn’t too much harder to find at least a half court near a public playground or church parking lot somewhere.

    Plus, yeah okay he’s super cute, and I just want him to be my boyfriend! Elena admitted to herself. I don’t care what Alicia says about us getting into Art Club—seeing Matthew and Casey together all lovey dovey all the time just irritates me more and more, and I don’t want to be around them or their art group thing. Not unless I have a boyfriend. I WANT A BOYFRIEND.

    However, things hadn’t progressed with Brett to the point where she could just blow off Vanessa or brush past the shorter girl and go prompt him to talk about himself and then hang on his every word. So, instead Elena had crossed her arms and listened to Vanessa chatter away endlessly, while sending discreet glances over in Brett’s direction and hoping he would approach them and say something. Which, of course he didn’t. That wasn’t to say he ignored them either, because he did glance her way a few times, which gave Elena quite the rush and made her blank out on large swathes of Vanessa’s tirade—but idle looks across the classroom weren’t enough for her.

    I want him to come up and talk to me! Elena thought, growling to herself in frustration. REALLY feel like maybe if Vanessa hadn’t been babbling nonstop, he might’ve felt like he had more room to come say something. As it is, how could he have even gotten a word in? Take a fucking hint, Vanessa!

    She walked on out to the back quad for their usual table at a slow, trudging pace. Alicia was already there, as well as Ashlee, and just like this morning neither of them seemed to be on speaking terms with one another or willing to acknowledge the other’s presence. Clarissa joined them after another minute, taking a tupperware container from her bookbag with what looked like some kind of tuna salad, and Elena began to consign herself to the reality of another long awkward silence where nobody here was talking.

    That is, until with dawning dread and horror Elena saw that the same Desiree and Faith in those preppy Springton Spirit jackets who had been hounding them nonstop were yet again making a beeline for their table—except this time the pair of cheerleaders brought backup.

    “Wow Ass-Lee, you found the other scrubs to sit with—that’s uh, cute?” Brittany laughed. “Just look at all of you—all the little buttfaces, banding together? I guess to sniff your own farts??”

    “Well, why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer?” Elena retorted with her best unimpressed look. “Were you waiting for a Kodak moment?”

    “Ooh, look at her?” Desiree taunted. “She thinks she’s all that.”

    “She thinks she’s all that and a bag of potato chips!” Faith sneered. “But um, hello? She’s not.”

    “So, you both got so embarrassed this morning you had to run off and find a senior to hide behind?” Elena raised both eyebrows. “How fucking shameless can you even—”

    “Sorry—Wednesday Addams?” Brittany held up a hand. “No one was even talking to you? Get the fuck over yourself, no one cares. I’m here to put my shitstain sister back in her place.”

    “Then, you can fuck right the fuck off?” Elena said as her mind raced for things to say. Fuck fuck fuck…

     She instead felt tight strings of tension strangling off the retorts and comebacks that usually came to her so easily. Going goth had socially painted herself into a corner, and although she wasn’t alone here, her side wasn’t exactly rallying in defense. Talking back to a pair of pestering cheerleaders was one thing, but dealing with one of the pretty and popular twelfth grade girls and cheerleaders? It felt like blatant social suicide and instead everyone was putting their heads down and ready to roll over, because they weren’t going to be able to out talk an aggressive and confrontational senior like Brittany.

    “Oh, excuse me?” Brittany’s you did NOT just say that face was the very picture of confidence. “Hey, did nobody tell you Halloween’s over already? Grow the fuck up, maybe?”

    “Wow, haven’t heard that before,” Elena stuck with dry sarcasm. “So original.”

    “Hey, I don’t know what kind of cry for help, all of that is, but,” Brittany gestured at Elena’s getup. “Whoever told you that you should just be yourself? Gave bad advice. You look like a total fucking clown, and everyone I’ve heard talk about you? Is always laughing at you. Always, everyone I know. I don’t know if you’re supposed to look like some kind of lesbo or necrophiliac or Edward friggin’ Scissorshands, and I don’t care. Go slit your wrists and die please. ‘Kay, thanks!”

    “Hah, exactly,” Desiree nodded in agreement.

    “Total clown,” Faith echoed. “Yeah.”

    Angry rejoinders bubbled up within her but they were too chaotic and unformed to grasp. So, rather than stutter out some mess of a sentence in response Elena forced her expression to remain unbothered and distant. Out of her peripheral vision around the table here she saw Ashlee was hunching in on herself as if hiding, Clarissa didn’t dare to meet anyone’s eyes, and Alicia was frozen up in shock.

    “Ass-Lee, so I heard you were running your mouth this morning?” Brittany focused her beautiful smile now on her sister. “What did I say was going to happen if you kept mouthing off at people here at school? Look at me.”

    “I don’t have to listen to you,” Ashlee scoffed.

    “Hey, look at me,” Brittany demanded. “With both eyes, this time, maybe? You deformed fucking troglodyte. The rule was—you don’t embarrass me at school. Ever heard the saying, ‘don’t let your mouth write checks your ass can’t cash? Yeah, so exactly. They shouldn’t have even let you into ninth grade in the first place, and even then you’re in all the mentally challenged classes for kids who can’t keep up. No one here even wants to put up with your constant retardation, so if any of these girls talk shit on you? You just turn your cheek and say ‘thank you! May I please have another?’ I do not need to be wasting all my precious time keeping these weirdo little outbursts of yours in line, this is not my fucking job.”

    Her words seemed to echo throughout the back courtyard, because much of the surrounding chatter had fallen silent while more and more teens at the nearby tables turned their way. Elena even felt a melancholy pang of regret for mentally disparaging Vanessa the chatterbox so much not that long ago—she would love to have some backup here, any vocal support, because her friends who gathered here at their usual table were all too meek to speak up right now.

    Elena was still struggling to figure out something—anything—to say, when she noticed Alicia jolt to sit upright. When she followed the girl’s gaze, she saw that yet another girl in one of those dreaded Springton Spirit cheer jackets was headed over. Only, this one turned out to be a very familiar redhead, now storming her way across the quad towards them with absolute murder in her eyes.

    Wait, what? Elena couldn’t help but perk up. She’s here today?

    “Brittany?” Tabitha warned. “Don’t ever talk to your sister that way.”

    “Yeah?” Brittany asked, turning to see who it was. “Or, you’ll what?”

    “Oh wow, look who decided to show up?” Desiree chortled. “It’s Tubby Tabby. In the flesh.”

    “She must have been hiding from us, this morning?” Faith guessed. “Aww, poor baby, was she scared?”

    “Or—I’ll introduce you to the consequences of your actions?” Tabitha ignored the cheer girls and instead just sounded honestly bewildered by Brittany’s brazen attitude. “What makes you even think you can get away with talking like—”

    “Um, news flash, no one fucking cares what—” Brittany was quick to try to simply talk over Tabitha, but this time Tabitha was bulling on ahead regardless.

    “Erica at least was able to say she was bipolar, so what’s your excuse for acting like a fucking psychopath?” Tabitha’s voice rose in volume until she held the attention of the entire back quad. “Ashlee’s your little sister. You treat her this way at school, so I can’t even imagine how bad you are at home, where no one’s watching! Yeah, so maybe it’s not just Erica—maybe you should be separated, too. Separated from each other—for Ashlee’s peace of mind and safety?”

    “Are you threatening me?” Brittany all but scoffed, donning a mask of disbelief. “Are you for real? You think that just because you—”

    “Normal people don’t go around attacking their little sister, so if you think the natural fucking consequences of being a vicious shrieking shitwhistle are a threat, then—”

    “Yeah, so it’s none of your fucking bees-wax, ya stupid cuntwad!” Brittany bristled. “She’s my sister, I’ll talk to her however I want! Yeah, who the hell do you even think you are?”

    Elena felt stunned—and not only because Tabitha didn’t seem to be backing down here at all.

    Brittany had started off here launching into each of them like they were all young naive underclassmen and beneath her, and yet partway through her tirade here now it was like the older girl was forced to reevaluate and treat Tabitha on more equal terms. Which felt… bizarre. Just a few short months ago, the tawny haired Tabitha had been shrinking back in fear from has-beens like Carrie, yet now she felt comfortable squaring up against one of the most intimidating upperclassmen girls? The situation felt strange and discongruent, and the sudden brash defiance from Tabitha now made her think back to when she had seen the girl verbally sparring with Ziggy at the Hot Topic.

    What’s changed? Elena still found herself bewildered. Not that long ago, Tabitha was the meek quiet weirdo girl who was hiding in the library every day at lunch, while all of the other girls ran ramshod over her. Not too long ago, I was the only one who would even stand up for her. Now, she’s like this all the time? What happened?

    “Just—leave us alone,” Ashlee finally found the courage to speak up. “Go away.”

    “Make me, twat waffle,” Brittany shot back. “Sniveling little shit smear. Wah wah wahh, what are you gonna do, cry about it some more? Aunt Kim already told you to stay away from flabby McFatass here, yet—here you are?? Sucking up to her and her whole little turd squad??”

    “She told you to stay away from Tabitha,” Ashlee floundered for a comeback. “You’re already gonna be in trouble.”

    “Oh NO!” Brittany let out a fake gasp. “Twouble?! I’m gonna get in twouble!?” 

    “Turd squad alert!” Desiree laughed. “Like wow—Ashlee if you love Tubby Tabby so much, why don’t you marry her?”

    “Queers,” Faith snorted.

    “Why don’t you all go eat a bag of dicks?” Elena stood up from the table. “Buzz off, you fucking psychos.”

    That… hadn’t been her best line, but Elena had felt the rise of panic within her that compelled her to stand up and say something, because it felt like they were losing momentum again. Especially whenever Brittany and the cheerleaders began to just pile in on them like that, because Ashlee still seemed terrified of her sister and Clarissa and Alicia both went quiet and still the moment everyone started really raising their voices. To her growing dismay, the simple act of standing up from the table didn’t give the cheerleaders pause, not this time.

    These two were bolder now that they had a senior like Brittany here with them.

    “As if!” Desiree shot back with glee at the new target presented. “Oh look, little wannabe Lydia miss Deetz thinks she has something to say! Uh, barf?”

    “Barf!” Faith joined in. “Excuse me while I gag??”

    “Yeahhh, you don’t even want to start with us?” Brittany gave Elena a look of ridicule that burned. “With your lame little Addams family getup. Get real.”

    “What’s even your play, here?” Tabitha intervened. “Harrass us here every morning and every day at lunch? Go whine to Coach Baylor while she’s trying to run class? It’s not going to work. You two are already off the team, you’re not cheerleaders anymore, so is this just you guys being sour grapes, or something? Lashing out, out of spite?”

    “We’re still cheerleaders if we say we’re still cheerleaders,” Desiree retorted. “Like you’d even know. You didn’t earn that jacket like we did, hello? You’re just all wahhhh, some big meanie took my freshman piss rag, oh wahhh.”

    “Yeah, grow up,” Faith sneered. “Grow the actual hell up.”

    “Okay, cool?” Tabitha gave them a performative wince. “So—you both already got booted from the team for being total dumbasses, you have your warning and your write ups, and now you’re just—fishing for suspensions, or something? Good plan?”

    “Aw look, the little crybaby’s already coming out and admitting she’s just trying to snitch on us,” Desiree made a face. “Yeah, guess what, pussy? That’s not gonna work. Principal Edwards already dismissed all those bogus write ups, so—how about THEM apples?”

    “Pssh, yeah,” Faith laughed. “Trying to cry wolf to the school about made up stuff? In your dreams.”

    “That’s all she ever does,” Brittany laughed. “Run off crying to the teachers over everything, like a little bitch. Like a total pussy.”

    “As opposed to what, pointlessly taking abuse?” Tabitha countered. “Weren’t you and Erica the ones who pushed me off a trampoline last summer, and put me in the hospital? Oh huh, yeah, that was you two. Then, suddenly all the seniors and sophomores are spreading the rumor that I was talking shit about some running back kid I’d never even heard of before, and so I get pushed from behind and break my wrist? Erica even loses her fucking marbles, and outright attacks me with a baseball bat at a party? When I’m just trying to be me and do my own thing??”

    “Tch, yeah whatever,” Desiree’s response to that one was weak. “Like anyone even knows what all really happened, there. Just the—”

    “I’m way past being out of patience for this stupid confrontational BS, and all the adults have wised up by now,” Tabitha gave them a shrug and a bitter smile. “Everyone knows who was behind the rumor mill about me back then. Everyone’s paying attention to what you’re doing here. Listen, you’re all out of warnings, and write-ups, and second chances. Keep harassing us like this, please, so that you can just be suspended for good, and then we won’t have to see you ever again.”

    “Whatever!” Faith made a ‘W’ sign with both thumbs and forefingers.

    “Um sike, nice try?” Brittany’s expression didn’t falter. “Except, everyone knows you’re completely full of bullshit, about everything?? Did you forget about that one simple fact there, retard? The fact that you’re a total fucking liar? No one’s buying any of the sob story shit, especially not from you.”

    “Yeah,” Faith said. “News flash, turd nugget? We just went and got everything cleared up with Principal Edwards already—and, he already knows you’re full of shit about everything. There’s absolutely zero percent chance you or your weirdo friend will ever be in cheer. Ever. Especially not now, because now everyone knows you’re a fucking liar.”

    “Fucking liar,” Desiree agreed. “Yeah. I never even touched your stupid piss baby towel in the first place, you fucking bed wetter.”

    “Okay, whatever?” Tabitha shook her head as she beckoned for her friends to get up and follow her. “I don’t even have time for this. I need to find Grace and Tiff, because I am having a party this weekend to celebrate with my friends. Whatever all of this is? It’s just a waste of my time and completely pointless. So like—bye?”

    “Like anyone even cares,” Desiree laughed. “Yeah right, some party. With who? You don’t have friends. You have losers. You’re all just a bunch of absolute nobodies.”

    “Maybe they’ll all wear party hats, and play musical chairs!” Brittany snickered. “Clap like retards for each other, while they play pin the tail on the donkey. Like a bunch of fucking grade schoolers. Like—durr hurr hurr!”

    “A bunch of losers!” Faith chimed in.

    Elena grabbed her bag and tried to look cool as she walked over to stand beside Tabitha—she didn’t want to look like she was running away or give off any appearance that Brittany and the cheerleaders had ever had the upper hand. Clarissa beat her there however, scurrying over in a hurry to hide behind Tabs and followed a moment later by Alicia. Ashlee huffed and looked out of sorts by what was going on, but obviously was forced to join them. Because the only alternative was remaining behind at the table alone, and there was no way she was going to volunteer herself up to become a verbal punching bag.

    “Yeah, wow, I forgot that to you girls, people only count as ‘friends’ if they have value to you,” Tabitha said, appearing unphased. “So—they’d better have money, or be popular, or have some way of giving you social leverage, because you’re all stone cold calculating fucking sociopaths, who don’t care about anything else. Well, great. Aren’t you all just too cool for school? Why don’t you go have fun with all of that and leave us be, then? ‘Kay, thanks!”

    “Hey, so she realizes she’s in with a bunch of losers?” Desiree tittered. “Wow, for real? Wake up call?”

    “Wah wah wah, yeah cry some more,” Brittany taunted. “Pathetic little freshman bitch babies. Skedaddle on and run away now, I guess?”

    “A bunch of looo—sers,” Faith crooned in a mocking voice, making an ‘L’ hand and putting it to her forehead. “Yeah okay, who even cares if—”

    “Ohhh, she was looking kind of dumb—

    “With her finger and her thumb—

    “In the shape of an ‘L’ on her forehead!

    “Yeah she ain’t the sharpest tool in the she~d!”

    To everyone’s surprise, Tabitha’s parting shot for them wasn’t just a simple comeback, she had a whole clever mocking limerick of some sort prepared for that specific hand gesture Faith made. The tailor-made singsong nature of it even had a peculiar way of tickling at their brains, as if they should know that little poem from somewhere. But, when Elena took in everyone’s somewhat startled expressions, she saw they were arriving at the same conclusion she had—they had no idea where Tabitha had pulled those lines from, and they were good lines. New ones which they definitely would have remembered.

    “Wh-whatever, even,” Registering the words a moment too slow, Faith quickly dropped the ‘L’ she had thrown up with a flustered scowl. “Losers. Yeah right.”

    “Oh, she thinks she’s so funny,” Brittany scowled. “But hey, guess what? She’s not.”

    “Yeah,” Desiree agreed, crossing her arms. “She’s not, like at all.”

    Brittany and the two cheerleaders with crossed arms tsked as they left, but made no motions to follow after them.

    There was finally some blessed silence as their small group strode across the back courtyard, through the doors, and then started down the hall together, but Elena’s mind was churning and she felt a vague sense of dread forming like a pit in her gut. Finally, because no one else was apparently going to bring it up, Elena forced herself to ask.

    “So uh,” Elena cleared her throat. “What was that from? The shape of an L on her forehead bit?”

    “Smash Mouth,” Tabitha answered in a brusque tone. “All Star? I’d be real damn surprised if I managed to get ahead of that one.”

    Elena wanted to retort with sarcasm, because smashed mouth, all star was just a series of random meaningless words with no way for her to even chew on, but instead Clarissa spoke up.

    “Smash Mouth?” Clarissa asked. “Like—the band? The guys who do the one that’s like, ‘might as well be walkin’ on the sun?’”

    “Um, maybe?” Tabitha shrugged. “All Star is their big earworm mega hit one, and it comes out like—now. A few months from now, tops? Mystery Men uses it. Freakin’ Shrek uses it. Shrek is—shit. Okay, Shrek’s a bit further off, I guess. Very early two thousands?”

    “So, it’s from a song,” Alicia said, turning a knowing smirk towards Elena. “A song from the future.”

    “Barely—if it’s even from the future, it’s not far off at all,” Tabitha said with a dismissive tone. “Probably out already or at least on the radio. Why would she do the L hand thing, if not from that?”

    “I… thought that was originally from Ace Ventura?” Alicia wondered out loud. “The L hand thing. Pet Detective?”

    “It’s been around way way longer than that,” Elena said, scrutinizing Tabitha closely. “So. Those were song lyrics, from some band in the future? Where are we going, anyways? What’s the plan?”

    “Looking for my other friends Tiffany and Grace,” Tabitha said. “I think they might be in the lunchroom? I was serious back there, I want to have a big get-together with everyone this weekend.”

    “Wait…” Clarissa looked from face to face as she tried to grasp what was going on. “How would you have heard it though, if it’s from the future…?”

    “It’s probably already out!” Tabitha said again, frustrated. “Not even what we should be focusing on. Were they bothering you this morning, too? Those cheerleaders. I went and got my cast off this morning, by the way. So. Celebrating.”

    “Oh, cool,” Alicia commented. “Nice. I thought that was this weekend?”

    “Faith and Desiree came by again, yeah,” Elena confirmed. “Ashlee told them to fuck off, and they were all spooked. It was funny. Guess that’s why they sought out Brittany to come with them this time.”

    “They’re just a bunch of psychos,” Ashlee sniffed, visibly uncomfortable at having anyone’s attention on her. “I barely even said anything.”

    “Well, thank you for telling them off this morning,” Tabitha nodded her acknowledgement. “And—I’m sorry your sister is like that. You shouldn’t have to put up with any of that.”

    “She’s always been like that,” Ashlee scoffed. “They both always were—you’d already know that if you were Tabitha. Which, you’re so obviously not.”

    “Uh… what?” Clarissa blinked.

    “Yeah, what?” Alicia asked.

    “Ashlee refuses to recognize me as the same person since my, ah, ‘summer transformation,’” Tabitha explained with a leading tone. “She was just about the only person who really knew me that well before. If you catch my drift.”

    “Oh,” Alicia mouthed. “Ohhh. Okay.”

    “No, she’s not,” Elena refuted. “I knew you from Laurel Middle. We had classes together?”

    “Then, you surely noticed that I changed from one person to another, basically overnight?” Tabitha sounded almost indifferent. “Listen—I don’t want to keep arguing about it. I’m obviously not going to change your mind, not at this point.”

    “No, like I mean—” Elena wasn’t even sure how to respond to that.

    “Wait, so you know that this isn’t the real Tabitha,” Ashlee took Elena by the arm. “So, it’s not just me. Together we can prove it, somehow. Or—at least find out what the fuck is going on.”

    “I am so lost,” Clarissa admitted.

    “I’m a Returner, Tabitha said. “I went on almost fifty years into the future, and then looped back. It’s not all that important, and I guess don’t even bother taking it too seriously. Since I can’t really prove it, and there’s no reason to believe me. I just have to learn to live with all of this high school bullshit all over again. So fun!”

    “Wait,” Clarissa blinked at them. “What?”

    “She’s joking,” Elena clarified. “It’s a thing she does.”

    “Or, is she?” Alicia teased. “She definitely knows things.”

    “That all sounds like the stupidest thing I’ve ever even heard,” Ashlee scoffed, releasing her hold on Elena in exasperation. “Like, yeah right.”

    “Yep,” Tabitha agreed. “It is stupid. You’re definitely preachin’ to the choir, there.”

    “So, like a time traveller?” Clarissa asked. “Like Back to the Future?”

    “More like some kind of cosmic accident,” Tabitha shrugged. “It doesn’t even really matter. It’s so stupidly hard to even change anything, and half the time everything I do seems to just make everything worse. Like all of the advantages I should have always seem to monkey’s paw me instead, come back around somehow to bite me. Drives me crazy.”

    “Her thinking she’s from the future is some kind of coping mechanism she has that helps her deal with certain trauma,” Elena explained. “She’s not literally from the future.”

    “You sound less and less convinced of that each time you try to say it,” Alicia giggled. “But—we can just write down all the stuff she’s said. Smash Mouth, All Star. Big hit song, apparently coming out soon.”

    “Bullshit,” Ashlee shook her head.

    “I… don’t think I’ve heard of it?” Clarissa mumbled. “It’s ‘All Star?’ By the same dudes who do Walking on the Sun?”

    “Alright, well then, don’t hate me for this!” Tabitha cleared her throat and then began to sing for them. “Listen up, I guess. Some-BODY once told me, the world was gonna roll me~”

* * *

    “The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin~”

    “The water's gettin' warm so you might as well swim~”

    “My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?”

    “That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored~”

    Clarissa wore a deep frown as she listened to Tabitha recite verses, because it felt like she should know this song, but she also knew she’d never heard any of this before. It was catchy, too catchy, the style of words and the cadence they were spoken in felt so specifically Smash Mouth that she knew she was going to pull their Fush Yu Mang album on CD the moment she got home today so that she could triple check that this wasn’t in one of the tracks there.

    The idea that Tabitha was simply making this all up never even crossed her mind, because there was an obvious melody beneath the girl was singing the song to, which although the instruments and beat were unheard themselves, were affecting the pitch and rhythm of the words in a blatant way. Tabitha had a pretty nice voice, but she wasn’t using her own voice, she was mimicking someone else’s singing, and again—it was all a dead ringer for Steve Harwell, the vocalist for Smash Mouth.

    Except… I’ve never heard this song before. I swear I’ve never heard any of this. What the fuck?

* * *

    “Hey now, you're an all star!

    “Get your game on, go, play!

    “Hey now, you're a rock star!

    “Get the show on, get paid!”

    Familiar lyrics tumbled one line after another from Tabitha’s lips and into the air without her ever needing to pause to think or struggle to remember. All Star had been an overplayed meme song she’d heard dozens upon dozens if not hundreds of times—she found herself able to sing it as effortlessly even without it having been one of her ‘favorites’ like the Evanescence tracks were. Similar to the infamous rickroll music Never Gonna Give You Up, time and repetition and the weight of sheer cultural osmosis had etched all of the words to All Star deep across her subconscious.

    Just have to watch that I don’t slip into cycling the ‘don’t stop coming’ part endlessly on repeat, because as funny as THAT is, there is a real genuine danger of accidentally letting myself do that. And, they wouldn’t even understand! Not yet.

    Her cheeks was burning with embarrassment, she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the sheer ridiculousness of it all, and every time she caught sight of Alicia or Elena or Clarissa’s serious listening faces the surreal fact that they had never heard ANY of this before became increasingly apparent. Her meta knowledge from the future had never felt so uniquely distinct and surged up past everything else to the very height of her awareness like this. It felt like this whole world was a stage play, but while everyone else was forced to improvise the dialogue for their roles on the spot, Tabitha was being fed all of her lines via teleprompter.

    “All that glitters is gooo~ld!

    “Only shootin' staaars break the mold!”

    The agitation and sinking stress of social confrontations with cheerleaders and seniors was still a sea of acid burbling unpleasantly at the edges of her mind, but striding down the hall at the head of a whole posse buoyed her confidence more than enough to keep her from drowning in her thoughts. In fact, if felt like she was flying high right now. This was that elusive popular feeling she had been chasing, and Tabitha felt she needed to latch onto it with everything she had because these kind of things could slip through ones fingers with a moment of inattention.

    It was far from perfect, of course, Tabitha tried to squash down some of the soaring feelings into something a little more sensible. I’m sure when I’m standing there in the shower later starting to disassociate or laying there in bed unable to sleep I’ll start to dissect every little thing that was said. Second guess how I was starting to mirror their nasty attitude and tone, spend hours trying to work out the best retorts or things I SHOULD have said that would have been just left them with nothing to say.

    For now though, she felt pretty pleased with herself. The fearsome Brittany Taylor and the same two obnoxious cheerleaders had been trying to bully her friends, and it felt like she had arrived before too much damage had been done and even held her own pretty well. Nevermind the fact that Tabitha had already basically had the upper hand and more than enough justifications to stand on, or the fact that for a spur-of-the-moment comeback she had again borrowed against future knowledge simply because it had popped into mind.

    They were halfway to the cafeteria when Tabitha finally finished her rendition of All Star, and there was a brief moment of silence and exchanged looks before Tabitha awkwardly cleared her throat and told them that she was done—that was the whole song.

    “...I liked it?” Alicia regarded her with her dark eyes. “When’s it come out?”

    “It uh, it does kind of sound like Smash Mouth?” Clarissa shrugged. “Somehow?”

    “Except, Tabitha didn’t listen to that kind of music in the first place,” Ashlee snorted. “Yeah, right. I’m the only one here who even KNOWS what music Tabitha likes. She listened to like, Brandy. Shania Twain, Jewel. Natalie Imbruglia, Alanis Morissette. What she wasn’t into was new age punky sorta music like No Doubt or Smashed Mouth or whatever it is that was supposed to be. Duh. I’m the only one who even freaking knew Tabitha.”

    “Ahem, I wouldn’t say I’m into Smash Mouth, per se—” Tabitha chuckled. “But I am like, aware of mega hit music? You have to live under a rock to have never heard some of the super big ones.”

    “It didn’t sound that big,” Elena voiced her skepticism. “What else have they done? Smash Mouth.”

    “Walking on the Sun,” Clarissa said.

    “Besides All Star? Ummm—” Tabitha searched her memory. “I’m a Believer? Ah shoot, wait. That one might not count, I think it was a cover. Their Smash Mouth version was another big hit one, though. Pretty sure they put that in Shrek, too. The first two Shrek movies had just a ton of great music, from what I remember.”

    “Never heard of it,” Ashlee scowled. “Either ‘Shrek’ or ‘I’m a Believer.’ Sounds like church music?”

    “Ehhh, not really?” Tabitha said. “Originally it was, uhhh. Either the Beatles, or maybe the Monkees? The original version was definitely an oldies song, just, Smash Mouth did a cover of it that brought it back.”

    “It’s not a Beatles song,” Elena shook her head. “My mom listens to the Beatles all the time.”

    “Then—I dunno, then?” Tabitha threw up her hands. “‘Shrek’ is a computer animated comedy movie. Like uh, Toy Story. Or, Antz.”

    “So, like Veggie Tales?” Clarissa guessed. “Some um, smaller studio or company or whatever that does computer animated stuff?”

    “Nah, like a huge big one—Dreamworks, I’m pretty sure,” Tabitha said. “Dreamworks is under… Paramount? Maybe? Definitely not Disney, because for most of the first couple Shreks they were poking obvious fun at Disney movies, and in a sorta crass way. Lot of not-so-subtle jabs.”

    “You do realize we can look up all this stuff and tell that you’re lying?” Ashlee said. “You’re not some know it all from the future, and you’re not even Tabitha. You’re a total fake, and at least some people are catching on. Elena—come on, tell them.”

    “It was weird trying to like, mentally connect the Tabby I remember from eighth grade to… well, the way you are now,” Elena admitted. “I don’t think she’s another completely different person or fake or in a disguise or anything, though.”

    “I think it’s like The Parent Trap,” Ashlee said. “Sorta, kinda. Like that. This absolutely is some other girl. She’s literally not even Tabitha. They switched, somehow.”

    “That’d be cool?” Clarissa remarked, trying not to flinch as Ashlee leveled a glare in her direction. “What? It would.”

    “They actually make a remake of The Parent Trap in the future,” Tabitha said. “With Lindsay Lohan.”

    “Uh, that’s not in the future, genius,” Ashlee sneered. “That came out this past year.”

    “Oh,” Tabitha slumped. “Damnit! It really is impossible to keep track of everything.”

    “See?” Ashlee said. “She’s totally lying.”

    “Well, I think she’s from the future,” Alicia spoke up. “She described things I haven’t drawn yet—but they’re like, things I’ve planned to draw.”

    “Alicia was a fellow hometown hero,” Tabitha revealed with a smile. “We put some of her published stuff in the little display when I worked in town hall. Sharon didn’t want the case to be only men—only veterans. My stuff was the stuff which didn’t deserve to be in there, she put my failed paperbacks in there with their stupid goofy goblin covers, and… well. This time through, I’m gonna earn it. Things are gonna be different. In a lot of ways.”

    “Hell yeah—hometown heroes!” Alicia held up a hand.

    “Hometown heroes!” Tabitha laughed, giving her a high five.

    “So, you’re really from the future?” Clarissa asked. “Like for real?”

    “Then, what happened with me?!” Ashlee asked, incredulous. “In the future.”

    “I honestly have no idea,” Tabitha said. “Never saw you again after the whole trampoline thing in my last time through. Probably nothing good? Your sisters warned me to shut up about what happened and stay the fuck away, and, I did. I kept my head down the rest of my life and eked out a miserable, wretched existence wallowing in guilt and regret and stewing in my own absolute inadequacy. I made one single real close friend in all of the time after that, and she wound up killing herself. And, I never got over it. Maybe never will!”

    “Julie?” Elena guessed.

    “Julie, yeah,” Tabitha sighed. “She’s not even born yet.”

    “That’s uh—” Clarissa tried to find the words. “That’s a lot to take in? Hah… so, everything you’re doing is all to like, try to rewrite history?”

    “Yeah, basically,” Tabitha said. “It’s a work in progress.”

    “Shopping malls all go under!” Alicia said. “Portable payphones get super popular. People crash big airplane liners into the empire state building.”

    “It’s the twin towers,” Tabitha corrected. “The world trade center buildings. And, we can still prevent that! Maybe. Somehow.”

    “Like, accidentally, or crash them intentionally?” Clarissa was bewildered. “Why would you—”

    “Are there hoverboards?” Ashlee snorted in disbelief. “Let me guess, there’s teleporters and phasers and—”

    “You know what, there are hoverboards!” Tabitha threw her hands up in exasperation. “But, guess what?! They didn’t hover. They don’t even hover. They had freakin’ wheels. They were just these incredibly stupid sort of sideways skateboard thingies you stand on, with little built-in motors, or whatever. Like a Segway, but without the handlebars.”

    “They don’t even hover?!” Alicia exclaimed. “What the hell?!”

    “The hell’s a Segway?” Elena asked.

    “Yeah. So,” Tabitha said. “The first rule of the future? Is that the future will almost always disappoint you. Elena, Segways are… I guess also not out, yet. You’ll know when they are! And then, hoverboards are like a more obnoxious version of the Segway? You’ll see. They’re both those sort of hipster intentionally conspicuous expensive unnecessary show-off locomotion thing.”

    “I want a hoverboard,” Alicia said. “But, it has to actually hover. Otherwise—what’s the point?”

    “Why would they call it a hoverboard, if they don’t really hover?” Elena asked.

    “Presumably, because it sounds better than ‘self-balancing gyroscopic smart balance wheel system’ or whatever the heck its real name is,” Tabitha said with a sigh. “So, it’s because ‘hoverboard’ seems cooler and more futuristic, or sells better.”

    “False advertising!” Alicia booed. “Lame.”

    “You’ll see a lot of that, in the future,” Tabitha admitted. “Don’t even get me started on ‘Unlimited’ service plans that are in fact extremely limited, and by hard, well-defined data caps—after which your service will be completely throttled down to nothing.”

    “Is there anything cool in the future, then?” Clarissa asked.

    “Oh yeah, there’s anime and manga?” Tabitha said. “Lots of great stuff coming out, there. Superhero movies get big? Almost all technology miniaturizes like crazy. Gigabytes and terabytes, instead of kilobytes and megabytes. There’s holograms starting in like, thirtyish years from now? That’re okay. Social Media… well, isn’t great, but it has its same pros and cons just like the TV of this era does. It is what it is! Lots of entertainment, at least. Can’t go without your daily bread and circuses, no sir.”

    “No malls though, so I’ll pass,” Elena rolled her eyes. “Sorry.”

    “They go out gradually!” Tabitha laughed. “We’ve been through this already. Malls are cool, but online shopping is more convenient and cheaper. That’s just the way things go.”

    “Uhh, do I invest in oil or silver or something and get crazy rich?” Clarissa gave them an uncertain laugh, unsure of how seriously to take all of this. “Beanie babies?”

    “Right now? Probably dot coms,” Tabitha looked her way. “Contact the registrar however you do, and try to buy up all of the domain names for the internet you can, those’ll be worth a bunch. Was meaning to look into that real soon for a couple certain things.”

    “Like, the world wide web?” Clarissa asked. “How do you even buy dot coms?”

    “I honestly have no idea, and to my intense frustration, it isn’t something I can just Google.”

    “Oh don’t even get her started on Googly and Googling!” Alicia burst into laughter. “Google, badoogle, magoogly!”

    “‘Google’ does already have a web page, at least,” Elena conceded. “But, that doesn’t mean—”

    “This is all retarded and made up,” Ashlee concluded, making a disgusted face. “Come on. None of you can tell me you believe any of that. Seriously.”

    “I don’t… but I really do think Tabitha does,” Elena said. “Alicia’s just having fun with it.”

    “No way,” Alicia teased. “I’m a believer.”

    “And then I saw her face~” Tabitha sang. “Now I'm a believer~”

    “And not a trace~”

    “Of doubt in my mind~!”

     “Okay wait, now that you sing it I do recognize that one!” Alicia raised her hand up for another high five. “I’ve totally heard that before. No clue where, but yeah, for sure.”

    “I think it’s the Beatles.”

    “No, it’s definitely not the Beatles.”

    “Th-that’s super weird,” Clarissa pointed out. “Like, yeah I think I’ve heard that song too, but… you sang it like Smash Mouth would have, if they did that one. And, I know they didn’t. I literally have Fush Yu Mang at home.”

    “Fush Yu Mang?” Elena asked, turning towards Tabitha for explanation.

    “I’ve never heard of it,” Tabitha admitted. “I’ve heard of Fushigi Yuugi?”

    “No, that’s—wait, what?”

    “What?”

    “What?!”

    “What??”

    “Fooshery Wooshery?!” Alicia was doubled over with laughter. “What the hell?! I—I can’t! I can’t even—!”

    “What are we even talking about?” Ashlee growled. “I’ve never heard of any of that.”

* * *

    “Naw man, naw, swear on my life,” Bobby insisted, pointing with one of his fries. “S’not that she doesn’t like me, it’s just that—”

    “She doesn’t like you,” Matt Haynes interrupted with a smirk. “Probably thinks you’re a creep.”

    Springton High’s cafeteria was a large cinderblock room with few windows, and so the countless voices of all of the kids talking over one another during lunch became a loud background murmur in the enclosed space. Bobby didn’t always eat in here, and in fact he rarely ate in here, but with things awkward or up in the air between him and Tabitha right now he found himself in here lately rather than out with her and her friends in the open air of the back quad. Not that it mattered today, of course—Tabitha was absent today anyways. 

    “She kinda likes me!” Bobby laughed. “Just, she said she doesn’t feel ready for anything like, too serious. Wants to take things slow, you know? Move at her pace, and not—”

    “So, you’re saying—she doesn’t like you,” Matt Haynes nodded. “Dude. She was trying to let you down easy, ‘cause she already has a crush on somebody else. Take a hint, man.”

    “She’s crushing on… who, then?” Liam snorted. “You?”

    “You know what, maybe she is?” Matt Haynes spread his hands out with a condescending grin.

    Ever since Matt Haynes and his friend Craig ‘rescued’ Tabitha, the guy had developed some kind of savior complex, and seemed way too smug about everything. In Bobby’s admittedly biased eyes, all Matt and Craig had even done back then was get into a shoving match with Chris Thompson in the bus loop, and that was only after Chris had already broken Tabitha’s wrist. Matt Haynes however had built his whole new personality around what a hero he was, transforming from yet another average freshman guy with a bowl cut to one with a D’Caprio heartthrob curtain cut with bangs carefully teased to frame his face who seemed to swagger around school with a self-assured smirk. 

    “I used to catch her checking me out, back when we had English together last semester,” Matt Haynes said. “You know? I’d like, just be looking across to that side of the classroom, mindin’ my own business, and spot her already looking over my way. This happened like, a lot, man. I was gettin’ like, signals. She was into me and that was even before everything I did.”

    “More like she’s all ‘yo, who’s this doofus?!’” Bobby retorted, trying to ignore the way his guts twisted in on themselves at the thought of Tabitha falling for this douche. “I’m tellin’ you—she wasn’t trying to let me down easy or anything like that. She was being for real with me. I can tell. I think we have some chemistry, there.”

    “But—Bobby baby, you don’t have Chemistry with her, I thought you have Chemistry with me,” Liam chuckled, shaking his head in mock dismay. “You have Personal Fitness with her. And anyways, Matt’s probably right. She was probably tryin’ to let you down easy, and you just couldn’t take the hint. Hey, it happens. Everyone was saying from a while back that Tabby was already crushing on Matt. Since when do you even come into the picture?”

    “He couldn’t take a hint, or wouldn’t take a hint?” Matt Haynes sighed. “Bobby man, I’ve been sayin’ it—she’s not interested, you need to leave her be. Listen. I know Tabitha. She’s not ever gonna come out and directly tell you you’re bothering her, she’s gonna talk to her friends, and then her friends are gonna be like, ‘yeah, could you NOT?’ That’s just how girls work, bro. You should know these things, by now.”

    Irritation rose up within Bobby as he tossed a french fry from his tray into his mouth and chewed. The past couple days he’d been in a bit of a funk from what now in hindsight looked more and more like a soft rejection from Tabitha. He’d wanted to watch Willow alone with her, and she definitely only wanted to watch it if they were doing it with a bunch of friends. Quite a few times he felt like she was flirting with him or expressing interest or just—having a good time with him, but then also sometimes it felt like there was a wall there between them that he couldn’t see and didn’t know how to overcome.

    When one thing in life was bothering him, everything else seemed to be eager to go wrong wherever they could as well. One of his homework assignments slipped his mind completely, and he wound up with another zero to deal with in English. Being in a terrible mood recently had made for particularly rough after school shifts at McDonalds, all of his friends turned into total punks when he needed a little boost or some moral support, and perhaps worst of all—these cafeteria fries they served at Springton High were absolute crap.

    “Yeah, well you know what?” Bobby complained. “These fries suck. They really suck.”

    “Gimme, then,” Liam joked, reaching over to snatch the remaining fries. “Hell, I’ll eat ‘em.”

    “Fuck off,” Bobby slid his tray back just out of reach. “You still owe me fries from last time.”

    “The fries are actually okay, it’s the ketchup they have that sucks,” Matt Haynes shrugged. “S’like leftover tomato water and sugar. Catsup, instead of like real name brand ketchup. Heinz or nothing for me, man. Hunts, Del Monte? Get outta here with that shit.”

    “Nah, that’s a whole separate problem,” Bobby shook his head with a solemn frown. “These fries’re like, total ass to begin with. Bulk order frozen cheapo crinkle-cut. They get very lightly fried in some factory in Idaho for the bare minimum possible time, and using the absolute least amount of oil. Months and months and months go by where they’re just stashed somewhere frozen, then the lunchladies here dump them out onto a baking sheet and warm them up to room temperature in an oven. Not cook them, mind you, just warm them up to room temperature. These’re basically like, slightly french-fry-shaped instant mashed potatoes.”

    “Here we go again,” Liam rolled his eyes.

    “Oh yeah, I forget you’re the french fry expert,” Matt Haynes scoffed. “The Micky-dees Man. Flippin’ burgers with the rejects and dropouts, over at Micky-dees.”

    “At least ours are freshly fried,” Bobby scowled as he popped another limp fry into his mouth. “We make damn good fries, you can’t even say we don’t. Crispy, salty, hot perfection. And hey man—at least I have a job.”

    “Pfft, yeah and how’s that working out for you?” Liam laughed. “Makin’ minimum wage, hah. Bare minimum, just to be another cog in the McDonald’s machine. Now my job, that’s makin’ real money—”

    “You mow lawns, that’s a summer job,” Bobby said. “Half the damn year you don’t have jack shit to even—”

    “Exactly, gets me plenty of time off,” Liam said. “I’m livin’ the dream. Work hard, then plenty of time to relax and enjoy it. Twenty bucks a month, per yard? Them little thangs? C’mon man, that’s easy money. Hit up all the yards every Saturday, rake in a ton of cash. S’all under the table, so they ain’t taxin’ anything. Love my Uncle Sam much as the next guy, but he can mind his own damn business ‘bout what I do with my summers. Bro—you buy a push mower and go in on this with me, we could cover just about all of Springton together. Go big, y’know what I’m saying? Together, we can RULE the galaxy as FATHER AND SON.”

    “Be better than flipping burgers, at least,” Matt Haynes chuckled. “Least you’d be your own boss, man.”

    “My managers are pretty cool,” Bobby shrugged. “Don’t hate, man.”

    “They still tell you what to do,” Liam pointed out. “With me? Nobody tellin’ me what to do. And, all the money goes to me, simple and easy. I do more lawns, I get paid more. Whereas with you at Micky-dees? You get more customers, or have a super busy night and work harder? You still get paid the same.”

    “Liam—weren’t you bitching and moaning just last summer ‘bout barely breaking even?” Bobby jabbed. “‘Cause it kept raining and the grass grew like crazy, so you had to mow every lawn over and over again for like a bunch of weeks in a row?”

    “Wait wait wait, you don’t charge per mow?” Matt Haynes shook his head. “Lee-dog, that’s dumb as hell, man. You’re probably losing money doing it that way.”

    “Bobby—that was one time, not every summer’s like that, c’mon,” Liam gave him a playful shove. “It’s the fuckin’ rain, it’s like an Act of God. Least I’m honest ‘bout it and still make sure their grass is lookin’ nice no matter what. And Matt—ain’t no one in Springton wants to pay per mow, or get hassled by the lawn guy for more money couple times a week when it’s been rainin’ more. Almost all the places I mow in town’re li’l postage stamp lawns, anyways. If they weren’t scattered all over the damn place, I could knock out mowing it all in like, two and a half hours, tops. If I can get me a car, with ‘nough trunk space for the push mower? Or hell, a riding mower I can bum around town on? This’ll—”

    “Tell you what man, I’ll get a car, and one of these summers we’ll go into this together,” Bobby said. “You’ve got a mower, I’ll have a car, I can grab my brother’s weed whacker. We’ll blitz through town twice as fast, hit up Fairfield and any customers we can get on the outside of Sandboro, and—”

    “Yeah, like you’re gonna afford a car working at Micky-dees,” Matt Haynes rolled his eyes and scoffed. “You make, what? Four bucks an hour? How long’s it gonna take for you to—”

    “Five fifteen, baby,” Bobby laughed. “‘Nother month or so, I’ll be up to five and a quarter. Sky’s the limit. Hey, man—it adds up. Whereas you, what? Ask mommy and daddy for an allowance?”

    “I do chores, so I get allowance,” Matt Haynes scoffed. “It’s the same as having a job. Better, even, I can do all that stuff from the comfort of my own home. Turn the stereo up and vacuum in my damn underwear, if I want to. Don’t gotta dress up in your greasy little fast food uniform with your fuggin’ Ronald McDonald clown shoes every day.”

    “Damn, I should ask if I can dress up as Ronald,” Bobby looked thoughtful. “That’d be fuckin’ hilarious. Big red shoes, yellow overalls. Big red hair, face paint. I’d do it.”

    “At least Bobby always gets free food,” Liam added. “Probably costs them more’n they pay him. What’s five fifteen an hour minus like, six McDoubles an hour?”

    “Hey, you get free food at your job, too,” Bobby said with a straight face. “All the grass clippings and tree stars a man can eat, literally free for the taking. Grab yourself a bottle of salad dressing maybe, and—”

    “Five fifteen, yeah, which is four bucks after Uncle Sam takes his due,” Matt Haynes shook his head. “Plus, he works what, four hour shifts? While he’s underage or whatever. So—let’s call it sixteen bucks a day, tops? What’s even the point? You’re never gonna buy a decent car with that. Even if you buy some shitty beater, you’re looking at—”

    “Fuckin’ rich kids, man,” Liam shared a look with Bobby. “Lazy ass fuckin’ rich kids. Sixteen bucks—that’s like a brand new CD or video tape or whatever, every day. Hell that’s like a new Playstation game, every couple of days. See, Matt don’t work so he don’t even know.”

    “Kids these days don’t know the value of hard work no more,” Bobby commiserated with a solemn nod. “Hey, that’s okay. Liam man, you and me? We’ll be cruisin’ around town in classic cars, while lazy bozos like this guy’re just hoofin’ it. Or, begging for lifts everywhere.”

    “Nah, I’m gettin’ my car for free the minute I turn sixteen,” Matt Haynes shrugged. “That’s just… normal? My brother got his car at sixteen. They already basically taught me how to drive, and I just know my dad’s lookin’ for an excuse to get a new car, so he can pass me his old one he’s got now. Hell, you all just have cheapskate parents. Sorry your parents don’t love you? Hah.”

    “Lazy ass fuckin’ rich kids—” Bobby teased, making sure to carefully dip his last fry into ketchup before chucking the fry at Matt.

    “I’m not even—hey, watch it!” Matt Haynes yelped, jerking back on the bench and swatting the flung food down off his lap and to the floor. “Dickwad. Look, I’m just being real with you, man. If—”

    “Hold up, hold up,” Liam nudged Bobby with his shoulder. “Look who it is? Check it out.”

    Bobby twisted in his seat to see a pale, fine-featured Goddess was stepping through the double doors of the lunch room, her wild, fiery red hair pulled into the artful disarray of a loose ponytail that rested on one shoulder. Tabitha was beautiful to begin with, but today she was radiant, not wearing her usual neutral expression or the more bitter wry smile he was accustomed to, but a full-force beaming smile that lit up the entire room.

    It made it feel like his breath was being pressed out of him.

    I thought she was absent today? Bobby thought in a daze.

   She was wearing one of those Springton Spirit cheerleader sweatshirts, which did make his heart ache because the last thing he wanted was for her to fall in with that crowd, but to his relief rather than cheerleaders following the girl in as Tabitha held the door it was her friends. The raven-haired Elena in her full goth getup regarded the cafeteria with a scowl, and then following after was Alicia, the attractive black girl who seemed incredibly amused right now. Two other girls Bobby recognized from back during the birthday party were with them as well, and as a group the girls paused just inside, and then seemed to all search across the sea of faces occupying the long rows of lunch tables.

    “That’s my girl,” Matt Haynes boasted. “Probably looking for me? Bet if I wave, they’ll see me and come over.”

    “I think her friend’s way cuter,” Liam said. “She’s just exactly my type.”

    “Elena?” Matt Haynes nodded. “Yeah, she’s alright. I went to Laurel with her.”

    “The black girl?” Liam asked.

    “The—what? No,” Matt said. “Wait, you mean the black girl wearing blue? Or, the white girl wearing black?”

    “What?” Liam asked in confusion, pointing. “I’m talking about her. That one.”

    Rather than turn back to face the other way, Bobby remained twisted in his seat and felt a rush of heat as he saw Tabitha notice him—her expression lit up with recognition, and she threw him a wave from the distance.

    “She just waved at me,” Matt Haynes smirked, waving back.

    Upon seeing Matt Haynes wave at her Tabitha froze and her smile stiffened into a strange face, which made Bobby break into a grin—then, they saw a smirking Alicia lean in towards Tabitha to whisper something into the girl’s ear. Elena glanced over in the direction of Bobby, Liam, and Matt and raised her eyebrows, and then suddenly the little group of five girls way across the lunch room huddled in together to speak.

    “See?” Matt Haynes was smug. “They’re talking about me.”

    “Could have been waving at anyone,” Bobby said, feeling pretty confident it had actually been intended for himself. “Hell, could have been waving at Liam. Could’ve been wavin’ at me.”

    “Yeah, okay,” Matt Haynes drawled. “Probably afraid of coming over here now, ‘cause she saw you creeping. Way to blow things for me, asshole.”

    To their surprise, the two other girls—Bobby was somewhat sure one of them was named Clarissa—peeked back out of the huddle to look over in their direction. Clarissa with a surprised smile, while in contrast the other girl who had her bangs in a swoop down over one eye was wearing a scowl of disgust. Tabitha was saying something and pointing at Bobby, and then she made another gesture they couldn’t quite make out and then she pointed off to the other side of the lunch room.

    Then the girls split up, Tabitha leading Elena and Alicia off the other way, while Clarissa and the grouchy girl made a beeline for Bobby’s table.

    “Hahaha—aww shit, I totally called it,” Matt Haynes laughed. “She’s just told her friends to come warn you off. Man Bobby boy, you really just couldn’t take a hint. I tried tellin’ ya.”

    “What the fuck,” Liam stared. “Brooo.”

    Bobby felt his grin go rigid as they watched the two girls Tabitha had sent skirt around the outer tables and then make their way down the row towards them. As his spirits sank, his eyes couldn’t help but flick back over to see Tabitha, who now had her back to him—she’d found some girls at a table on the other side of the room and was talking to them. Elena stood next to Tabitha with her arms crossed, while Alicia actually glanced back Bobby’s way and gave him a wink.

    “Bobby?” Clarissa asked as she arrived.

    The girl looked strangely average, and he could never decide quite how to judge her. From some angles she looked exceptional and he could see inklings of a more outgoing, confident freshman girl, and then at other times she seemed withdrawn, frumpy, and miserable. Her dressing in a plain, oversized tee and not styling her hair seemed to indicate she was trying to avoid attention rather than draw eyes, but also she was a bit too attractive to really fit in with the other girls intent at playing wallflower.

    “Clarissa?” Bobby guessed. “We uh, met at the party, right?”

    “Uhh. Yeah,” Clarissa paused. “Well, hey. Um, well Tabitha asked me, to ask you, if you’re free tomorrow to watch that movie? It’s gonna be like a small get together. Tomorrow afternoon. Just uhhh—Tabitha, me, Ashlee, Elena, Vanessa, Alicia, Marisa, Tiffany, Grace. Maybe Olivia and them?”

     “Uhhhh—” Bobby blinked as he tried to process all of those names. “So, me and then a whole bunch of girls?”

     “I guess so?” Clarissa shrugged. “Wait, maybe Olivia’s boyfriend, too. Like from the birthday party. Oh! And then, maybe Casey and Matthew?”

    “I’m invited?” Matt Haynes sat up tall in his seat.

    “...Who are you?” The grouchy girl with the bang over one eye standing at Clarissa’s side shot him a disdainful look.

    “I’m Matthew?” Matt Haynes managed to sound incredibly sure of himself.

    “Oh uh, no?” Clarissa said. “I think she meant like, the other Matthew. Casey’s Matthew.”

    “Matthew Williams,” Bobby shot Matt Haynes a smirk.

    “Err, no I’m pretty sure she meant me?” Matt Haynes chuckled, still confident. “She literally just waved at me?”

    “I thought she was waving at me?” Liam joked.

    “She wasn’t waving at me?!” Bobby joined in.

    “So uhh, are you available, or not?” Clarissa asked Bobby, deciding to ignore the other two guys. “If you can make it, you can copy down the address here. We’re gonna meet up around noon, and then hang out and watch the movie, maybe eat? I dunno.”

    “I’m free, yeah,” Matt Haynes inserted himself back into the conversation.

    “I’m actually scheduled at McDonald’s, but I will call off, or switch shifts, or no show, even, if I have to,” Bobby said. “I will one hundred percent absolutely be there, hell yeah. To watch Willow? Absolutely.”

    “Where’s this gonna be at?” Matt Haynes asked.

    “I can uh,” Clarissa winced, looking back and forth between the two boys. “Bobby, I’ll copy it for you?”

    “Matt—I don’t think you’re invited, bro,” Bobby pointed out with no small amount of shadenfreude. “Take a hint?”

    “I really think I am meant to be invited, actually?” Matt Haynes argued. “Go ask her, real quick?”

    Loud voices from over where Tabitha and her friends were gathered around that other table were enough to break through the constant low hush of all everyone else in the room talking. Elena and then a much shorter girl with a pompom hat were arguing spiritedly with one another while other girls with big grins were getting up from the table there.

* * *

    “No—”

    “Yes!”

    “No—”

    “Yes!!”

    “Absolutely not!”

    “I’ll ask him!”

    “Vanessa—I said no!”

    “Vanessa,” Tabitha warned the much shorter girl.

    “Oh, come on!” Vanessa laughed. “You don’t see how she is in Algebra with the guy. She’s been like, practically throwing herself at him. This Brett guy.”

    “Completely untrue,” Elena scowled. “So, what, I borrow a pencil like one time, and suddenly—”

    “Spare me~!” Vanessa said. “Literally everyone sees you batting your eyelashes at him all day and making pouty cute faces. You can’t say you’re not.”

    “I can say I’m not, actually,” Elena refuted, shaking her head. “Because, I’m not.”

    “Who’s this about?” Alicia asked with interest.

    “No one,” Elena said. 

    With Clarissa and Ashlee tasked with ensuring Bobby would be there for the movie with them tomorrow—Tabitha was leery of going over there herself while this eponymous Matt Haynes guy she definitely didn’t know was acting so weirdly familiar with her—the rest of the group was now standing behind where Grace and Tiffany were seated at one of the lunch tables. Both of these two were turned to side-straddle the bench now so they could face them all, the glasses-wearing Grace with embarrassment at all of the attention they were drawing from the rest of the lunch room, while Tiffany with undisguised glee at having so much new gossip arrive right to her doorstep. This stretch of the cafeteria tables was mostly populated with the more quiet, unassuming types who were neither popular nor unpopular; Vanessa had been seated across the way chatting with some of the more outgoing types, but rushed over when she spotted Tabitha’s group arrive.

    The girl seemed to have a nose for trouble.

    “Brett Connors,” Vanessa ratted Elena out. “The super tall freshman dude. Head’s the whole way on up in the clouds. And I don’t mean like, he’s arrogant or has a huge ego, even? He’s literally like, seven foot eight, you literally can’t miss him.”

    “He’s not seven foot eight,” Elena made a face. “If he was seven foot eight he wouldn’t even fit in the buildings.”

    “Well, he’s close enough to that from where I’m standing,” Vanessa said with an indifferent sniff. “And anyways, Elena’s been practically drooling all over the guy, so Tabitha if you’re hosting a party this weekend, and Elena’ll be there? We’ve gotta make sure Brett’s there, too. Right? We just have to.”

    “Is he here in the lunch room?” Alicia asked, leaning back so she could scan across the sea of faces. “He’s super tall?”

    “Nah, he’s one of the basketball guys, isn’t he?” Tiffany spoke up. “Lurch! He’ll be out there on the courts at lunch, playing with the rest of those ‘thletic types.”

    “Is he cute?” Alicia turned towards Elena.

    “How would I know?” Elena hedged with a scowl. “He’s got nothing to do with me. I don’t even really know him.”

    “He’s cute, invite him,” Tiffany insisted. “Duh. This isn’t middle school—if we’re having a party, there needs to be cute guys there. Let’s find him!”

    “Tiffany, shush,” Grace blushed. “You, you can’t just invite other people to Tabitha’s party. That’s… that’s super rude!”

    “I mean…?” Tiffany gave them a guilty laugh. “Come on. Tabs is inviting Bobby, right?”

    “Bobby’s the one who gave her the movie in the first place, though,” Elena pointed out. “So, that’s different.”

    “Hey, we can invite cute guys, right?” Vanessa asked Tabitha. “This isn’t like—this isn’t like some girls-only slumber party kinda thing?”

    “We can invite more people,” Tabitha said. “Mrs. Macintire was cool with it, and their living room is super huge. They have a big ‘L’ couch thing, we wouldn’t even fill it if it’s just us.”

    “Elena, would you be mad at us if we invited this Brett guy?” Alicia asked. “No pressure or like, we’re not saying you like him, or—”

    “Yes, we are?” Vanessa said. “She’s super obviously crushing on him.”

    “Do whatever you want,” Elena shrugged. “I don’t care one way or the other.”

    “That’s Elena-speak for yes yes yes please oh my GAAAWD, PLEASE invite Brett!” Vanessa teased. “So? Yeah. Next stop, basketball court? We don’t have that much longer before the bell, c’mon.”

    “So, should we also invite Eric, then?” Tabitha asked. “The guy at our art table?”

    “...Why would we invite Eric?” Vanessa sounded confused.

    “Because you’re always flirting with him?” Tabitha raised her eyebrows. “Eric, the guy who sits with us at art? Sixth Period??”

    “I literally am not, ever,” Vanessa was aghast. “What the actual hell? Since when did I ever—”

    “Eric who?” Tiffany pressed. “Do I know him? What’s his last name? I know like, two or three different Erics.”

    “Eric, this loser guy in Art who I have literally zero interest in!” Vanessa said. “Because, he’s a nobody guy who’s not even in my league??”

    “Ooh, so defensive,” Elena smirked. “Tabitha, we should definitely invite this Eric guy, then.”

    “Done, and done! Tabitha nodded with a smile. “We can ask him in sixth period.”

    “We’re literally not going to do that,” Vanessa said. “We’re not.”

    “Woooow, seems like ‘Nessa can dish it out, but she can’t take it?” Tiffany doubled over into a full belly laugh. “I mean, come on—”

    “Fine, fine, we don’t have to invite Brett, then,” Vanessa conceded with a sour expression. “You guys don’t have to be so—”

    “Oh no, we’re definitely inviting Brett?” Alicia grinned. “Absolutely.”

    “Let’s just invite everyone?!” Tabitha suggested. “The more, the merrier? I’m more worried about how we actually get everyone there, like—transportation and everything.”

    “My mom can drive me,” Alicia said. “We can give whoever’s on the way a lift if they need it? We’re over towards Fairfield.”

    “Same, but the north side of town,” Elena reported. “We have a minivan, so. Vanessa lives pretty close to us. If she promises to not be such a nuisance—”

    “Do you want Brett to show up, or not?!” Vanessa harumphed. “Be for real. I’m literally trying to do you a huge favor, here.”

    “I’ll have to check with my parents for permission, first?” Grace said. “But, I’ll call as soon as I know for sure?”

    “I’m in!” Tiffany said. “I’m right smack dab in the middle of town, I can probably walk there in like, five minutes? Is Marisa going? From first period.”

    “Yeah, I talked to her already in my third period,” Tabitha confirmed. “She’ll call once she knows.”

    “If my dad allows me to go, we’ll give Tiffany a ride,” Grace said. “Tiff—you’re not walking. She’s not allowed to just walk around town, anymore. She gets like two blocks and then throws her thumb out and she’s like, hey let’s just try hitchhiking!”

    “Woulda gotten away with it too, if someone wasn’t such a wet blanket about everything!” Tiffany snorted. “What other boys are going? Bobby, Brett—who else? Eric? Eric who?”

    “Uhhhh well if we’re inviting Brett, we need to do it before lunch is over,” Vanessa pointed out, quickly changing the subject “So—let’s go!”

    “Who’s gonna ask him? You?” Elena scoffed. “You wouldn’t ever even—”

    “Let’s just have Bobby ask him?” Tiffany got up out of her seat. “Bobby’s going, right? He already knows like, everyone. It’s Bobby.”

* * *

    “See? That’s probably about me,” Matt Haynes sounded relieved. “But yeah, you can probably ask them and make sure? But, I’m free to hang out tomorrow. Just need to know where.”

    “I’ll… ask,” Clarissa promised with reluctance.

    While she and the grouch—Bobby was fairly sure the grouch was Ashlee Taylor—started on past them down the aisle between tables however, another pair of girls broke up from the group gathered around Tabitha and rushed up to meet them. They exchanged a few quick words with one another, and then all returned back over, this time four girls standing beside Bobby’s table. The one taking the lead this time was a chubby girl Bobby recognized as Tiffany—a very bold, unapologetically loud girl who was never shy about speaking her mind.

    “Hey, so Bobby!” Tiffany leered with a suspicious smile. “You know Brett, right?”

    “Brett?” Bobby repeated, confused. “Brett who?”

    “You mean Lurch?” Liam asked. “Super tall, new guy? Basketball?”

    “Yesss! That Brett,” Tiffany confirmed. “Lurch. Can you guys ask if he’s free tomorrow? To come to a little party we’re throwing. There’ll be a bunch of us, we’re watching a movie.”

    “Uhhh—I mean, yeah I know Lurch,” Bobby said with a wry smile. “I guess I didn’t realize Tabs knew him?”

    “...She doesn’t,” the girl beside Tiffany rolled her eyes in exasperation.

    “Naw, but somebody has a crush on him, so,” Tiffany gave them a wolfish smile. “Can you ask if he’s free? Saturday. Noon. Actually, even better, can you like, make sure he comes? Twist his arm, if you’ve gotta. We’ve got the address for you guys. Wait, we have the address, right?”

    “Yeah, we’ve got the address,” Clarissa confirmed. “Have it here.”

    “Okay, cool,” Tiffany said. “So? Fellas? Help a sister out?”

    “Hey Grace,” Liam greeted. “So wait, who has a crush on Lurch?”

    “Hiii,” the girl who had followed Tiffany over here—Grace—gave a shy wave. “Uh. Leon? Liam? Liam. It’s uh, no it’s—”

    “It’s frankly none of your business, LIAM,” Tiffany responded in a snide tone. “Grace, don’t indulge him, you’re way too good for him, and you know? Boys are all terrible gossips. Bobby, you’re coming anyways, right? Since it’s your movie. You’re in. Right?”

    “Damn, ouch,” Liam laughed, not taking her too seriously.

    “I mean—yeah, sure?” Bobby said. “Should I like—should we bring anything?”

    “Snacks,” Ashlee spoke up with a huff. “I like salt and vinegar chips. Surge or Sprite.”

    “Yeah, and uhh, wear something nice?” Tiffany suggested, waggling her eyebrows. “You probably clean up pretty nice. Right? We’re celebratin’ Tabby gettin’ her cast off finally yeah, but also hey it can totally be like, a freshman mixer? You uh, you get what I’m putting down, here?”

    “Hey,” Matt Haynes coughed into his fist. “So, uhh—what about me? Am I invited?”

    “Um, sure!” Tiffany looked him up and down, and her wolfish smile only grew. “Aw, sugar. You can be my date.”

( 63, Cast off those preconceptions. | RE: Trailer Trash | Next, To be Continued... )

/// Sorry for the long delay in getting the complete chapter posted up! Had a bit of an emergency situation and wound up having to take in and look after a little guy for a bit. He's a sweetie and he's recovering well!