Thank you for supporting MFS Patreon.
Thank you for supporting a useless and worthless artist who cannot deliver on his promises and cannot solve his own personal problems.
Thank you for somehow still sticking by.
I'll just go punch myself, for the two months I was away without telling anyone.
Be well
MFS
Eesh, what was I thinking up there? I wish to extend an apology to everyone for my... distressing post. I am not entirely sure if I've made it clear in the past about my mental problems, at least on here, anyway.
It appears I was struck with a very recent panic attack, brought about some recent activity, and an extended look at my performance, both on here and my dA page. I was not happy with what I was doing (and the lack of action therof), and had not thought about, say, what's happening on your end. I became very self-absorbed, and as such, became mired in a cycle of self-loathing and obligation, where I felt I did not deserve anything nice; a break, or treating, or something of the like.
In my distressed state, I began posting my thoughts on a whim onto my two primary content pages. It was inappropriate and I apologise deeply for the inconvenience, and the worry (and confusion) I may have caused.
While I am clearly ashamed of a frankly reckless behaviour, and I didn't wish for you to see me like that... I cannot be silent about it forever, and keeping it in cannot be good for you; that is also what may have caused that panic earlier.
I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for... well, officially it's 4 or 5 years, but if you ask me, it's been around longer than that. While it has not manifested in anything too dramatic, I do feel I am sometimes a harm to myself; a head-punch or two... or even walking out onto the highway, only to get too scared and ran back to my house.
...I only said 4 or 5 years, it was because that was the only time I actually sought out support, from my family doctor, and seeing a psychologist, and also going on medication.
Besides all of that, the effort to better the mind should come from myself, and that's what I'm doing right now. It's like a mental rollercoaster, this thing.
Now that my noodle has somewhat settled, there's plans for August. Again, I deeply apologise, and be well.
~MFS