Taylor barely slept. An hour here, twenty minutes there. But every time she started drifting off, her brain helpfully supplied the same thought.
Am I being affected?
Then she’d be awake again, staring at the ceiling before looking at her hand and questioning whether the concern she felt for Kali was genuine, whether the guilt was genuine, and whether giving the thing a name had been her idea in the first place. More than anything, she found herself wondering how anyone was supposed to tell the difference.
That was the part that kept getting her. The uncertainty. If somebody lied to you, you could eventually figure it out. If somebody manipulated you, maybe you could realize it later. But if something was changing how you felt from the inside? How would you know?
Every emotion passed through your own brain. Every thought felt like your own thought. There wasn’t some warning light that suddenly switched on and informed you that your feelings had been tampered with.
Taylor rolled onto her side, then onto her back, and finally onto her side again. At some point she’d stopped trying to sleep and just settled for being miserable.
The room was dark, and the digital clock beside her bed glowed red.
2:17 AM.
The next time she checked, it was after three. Then after four. At some point the sun started rising.
Taylor felt like she’d been hit by a truck, and the worst part was that every time she tried to reason through it, she somehow felt worse. It was entirely possible that Kali wasn’t affecting her at all and that she genuinely felt sorry for the thing. Taylor had always had a weakness for strays, whether they were animals or people. The problem was that the thought didn't make her feel any better, because it could just as easily be the conclusion the parasite wanted her to reach.
She groaned and buried her face in a pillow.
“No.” The word came out muffled.
This was impossible.
She couldn’t solve this herself. Worse, she couldn’t trust any solution she came up with. So eventually she dragged herself out of bed.
Her morning passed in a haze. She ate breakfast without tasting it. She answered a question from her dad and immediately forgot what she’d said. Twice she even caught herself staring at her hand.
The second time, her dad noticed.
“You okay, kiddo?”
Taylor nearly jumped out of her seat. “What?”
Danny was leaning against the kitchen counter, concern written plainly across his face.
“You seem distracted.”
Taylor’s stomach twisted. The concern made her feel worse because now she found herself wondering if she was supposed to feel guilty, or if she only felt guilty because—
No. Nope. Not doing that.
She was done thinking in circles, questioning every emotion she had, and definitely done listening to a parasite explain why emotional manipulation wasn’t technically emotional manipulation.
Amy had made this mess. With any luck, she could fix it as well. That depended on Kali telling the truth, of course, and on Amy not deciding to call the PRT the moment Taylor opened her mouth.
A dozen other possibilities immediately tried to force their way into her thoughts, but she cut them off before they could gain momentum.
Assumptions didn’t matter anymore.
At some point she had crossed a line between fear and frustration and ended up somewhere much closer to anger. Amy had created this situation. Kali sat at the center of it. And Taylor had spent half the night tearing apart her own thoughts, trying to figure out whether her sympathy belonged to her or to the thing living under her skin.
Her dad was still watching her, waiting.
Taylor realized she’d never actually answered him.
“Oh.” She forced herself to smile, though it probably looked terrible. “I’m fine.”
He raised an eyebrow, and Taylor immediately knew he’d seen through it. Unfortunately, she didn’t have a better lie prepared.
“I was thinking about school.”
Technically true.
She had thought about school, briefly, somewhere between existential terror and mental breakdown.
Her dad nodded slowly. He wasn't convinced, but he was willing to let it go.
“Well, don’t spend the whole weekend stressing about it.”
Taylor made a noncommittal noise.
Soon, the conversation drifted elsewhere, but Taylor barely heard any of it.
By late afternoon she had made up her mind. It wasn't because she had arrived at any particularly brilliant conclusion, but because continuing to sit around and speculate wasn’t getting her anywhere. She still didn’t know whether Kali was telling the truth or whether she was being manipulated. What she did know was that she needed answers, and there was only one person who could give her that.
The Dallons weren’t exactly difficult to find. Half the city knew where they lived. A decision that seemed completely insane to Taylor, but apparently the city’s most famous cape family had different standards for personal safety than everyone else.
She waited until evening, partly because she needed time to work up the nerve. And partly because some stubborn, increasingly unrealistic part of her still hoped she would wake up, realize this was a terrible idea, and decide not to go. She didn’t. So eventually, she found herself standing near the front door, her jacket on, her shoes laced up, and her heart pounding.
Her dad was in the living room, watching television. Taylor took a breath, then another. The lie came together at the last second.
“Dad?”
He glanced up. “Yeah?”
“I’m heading over to Emma’s.” The words left her mouth so easily it almost startled her.
He nodded. “Don’t stay out too late.”
A flash of guilt hit her, but she ignored it. “Okay.”
“Tell her I said hi.”
“Sure.”
Another lie.
The guilt got worse.
Taylor grabbed the door before she could think too hard about it.
If she stopped now, she might not leave, and if she didn’t leave, she’d spend another night trapped inside her own head.
The cool evening air hit her face as she stepped outside, the door closing behind her. And for a moment she stood on the porch.
The neighborhood looked normal, the ordinary world continuing completely unaware that Taylor Hebert currently had a parasite living in her hand. Her fingers curled into a fist.
Kali remained quiet. Whether it was still resting or simply waiting to see what she would do next, Taylor couldn’t tell. Either way, it was leaving the decision to her. And for once, she found herself grateful for the silence.
She didn’t want advice or reassurance. She wanted this over with.
Taking a deep breath, Taylor stepped off the porch and started walking toward the Dallon household.