Sagua was giving me a strange look as I rolled the pebbly wrinkle-fruit, stretchy cheese, and meat crumbles around on my tongue. I noticed that her slice was missing raisins and was about to offer to share, before it dawned on me that they seemed to have disappeared. Did she teleport that topping away on purpose, to not be seen visibly removing them? It was quaint that aliens had ideas about politeness, but I thought she should’ve stuck with being forthcoming. I felt bad that she didn’t like my toppings, though I decided not to say a word either.
“I hope this is to your liking, Lucren,” the alien said, dusting off her lips with a napkin. “Has anyone ever told you you have the cutest whiskers? They’re faint but they give you this youthful mischievousness. Trust me, humans can adore Aratas. Would your people feel the same about any aliens? Do you ever search for or think about us?”
I gnawed on my food, thinking it over. “I guess some people were curious and wanted to explore, but I always thought wasting time and poking around space wouldn’t fix our problems on Teska. That it was useless and that if you were real, nothing good could come of it. How was that ever a priority?! Like you said, we can’t even get on with the Pelsyl. I guess I was wrong about you having an impact, for sure. Forgive my candor, but I was never interested in all this.”
“I understand. You were focused on practical things right in front of you, and you had a lot of problems to deal with. I’ll quit fishing by offering my own superficial comments. I…I guess I was poking to see how you felt about our physical appearance. I know we’re quite different.”
“Oh. Um, you’re a little intimidating with the exposed skin and the black eyes. The gray makes you seem kind of machinelike honestly, but now I know that’s machines? And that’s a little reassuring to indicate something’s funny ahead of time, and to understand why my eyes changed when I took it? Other than that, the only thing that seems consistent about humans is how emotive your faces are.”
“Consistent? Are there some differences you’d like to ask me about? I know those distinctions might not sit well with you, especially with how you feel about Arata who look differently from you. I imagined you must be put off.”
“No! Not off-put. I…I just noticed, I didn’t mean to offend you. I heard what you said about ugliness in human history, and I wanted to know if your species ever…judged each other. And with you in particular…”
Sagua’s eyes gleamed with something unreadable. “Go on. I’m not upset with you.”
I rubbed the back of my head in discomfort. “Well, your facial features are different, and your head is…larger at the top than the other humans I’ve seen. At first, I thought it was a trait for females, but it doesn’t seem like that. Do, um, humans have different races too? I wondered why you’re outnumbered here, and if they…dislike you. If maybe they killed you in the past?”
“It wasn’t like that, but when you’re talking about why humans have unique abilities, it all goes back to our origins. Lucren, your observations are astute and valid; I’m only half-human. My father is human, but my mother is Elusian. The Elusians are a separate species that are genetically related to humans, though Elusians are functionally extinct now. It’s a long story, but rogue AIs targeted their many worlds and reduced their numbers to…few.”
Sagua-svran Carter replied in such an offhand manner, but I needed a moment to even begin to untangle what she’d just explained. Humans had a separate species, not just a race, that had crossbred to form a child that was…half one alien, half another? And society, the people involved, the kid herself—they were all okay with this? I couldn’t imagine a Pelsyl and a Treysyl siring a mixed spawn, with the fundamental differences between our people. If the humans could accept this, then…they must hardly care about species boundary at all?
Her parents were okay with a lasting partnership with a species that was only “closely related” enough to breed, and with a child that neither looked like them nor was the same as them? A Pelsyl and a Treysyl would never trust each other, let alone being considered an acceptable pairing. Were it to happen, they wouldn’t dare to show their faces in public.
There was a lot more to unpack in her answer, from the fact that these aliens—who I knew had unfathomably advanced technology—had let an artificial intelligence get out of control; I supposed their science fiction hadn’t warned them not to build such advanced machines. Maybe Aratas were naturally a paranoid, mistrustful species, though that would’ve served them well here. It had caused the near-eradication of the Elusian race, which made Sagua part of a dying species. That did explain why she was rare, but I didn’t understand what her heritage had to do with human abilities. She’d said her fortune telling was a human trait, not Elusian.
“Sorry, I’m at a loss for words. It’s difficult for me to imagine an Arata with mixed parentage finding acceptance. I’ve never even heard of such a thing,” I offered. “I suppose maybe if you were a completely unrelated species, it might almost be easier to accept than…mixing genes and having a new race come from the…merging. With your kindness and character though, I’m sure the humans would be foolish not to accept you among their own.”
Wrinkles deepened in Sagua’s skin. “I can see that your culture wouldn’t be willing to overlook physical differences, which is exactly why I worried about the outward impression aliens would give an Arata. There must be a boatload of biases and kneejerk reactions that your society instilled in you, though I’m certain you can overcome that. You have a good heart, Lucren, I really believe that. I was raised as a human, I know very little of my mother’s culture, and I dislike what I do know. I call myself human because my identity is entirely human.”
“What…what does a human identity mean to you?”
“To seek out beauty and wonder, to remember your roots and to use our power for good. It takes very little to choose to be kind, and make the universe a better place. At the end of the day, for all of our technology, the greatest thing humanity leaves behind is the bonds we forge. I try to do my part to make a few of my own that are special. Ours could become that, Lucren, and that’s the strongest power of all. Love, human connection, they topple empires and change hearts and minds! That’s who I, who we, choose to be. It’s a way to spend a billion tomorrows.”
“You really believe that. Hrothl said you’re a bleeding heart, but I respect that. It’s far better than being filled with hate. As much as I revere your philosophy and am surprised that humans have…extinct, alien relatives, that last part doesn’t make much sense. I also don’t see what it has to do with you surviving portals where other species don’t.”
Sagua leaned forward, her eyes steely. “This might be difficult to wrap your mind around, Lucren, but I trust you won’t rush to any judgments. This all was through no choosing of our own. Humanity is an artificial species, created by the Elusians. They placed us in a pocket universe and engineered the conditions of physics so we’d evolve with extreme abilities. Strength, durability, speed, surviving portals. Forced to have doubly complex engineering.”
The memory of a Pelsyl swinging a pipe at Sagua’s head, and it shattering, flashed through my mind. She was endowed with natural overwhelming strength from…the laws of physics themselves being adjusted as if that made any sense? The very principles of molecular function were different on her homeworld, and it was impossible to even guess at what that looked like. I could begin to conceive of how it felt to owe their entire existence to another species, and to know they were lab experiments.
“Why would the Elusians want to create a superpowered relative of themselves?! I can’t fathom the benefits,” I hissed.
Sagua avoided my gaze. “The Elusians thought other…natural species were beneath them and not worthy of their attention. They sought for us to be interdimensional, like them. They were Watchers to us, but they saw no intrinsic value in human life. They were indifferent to the absolute, and that’s why humans seek to be the opposite.”
“Then you must hold a grudge against the Elusians! Why would your father…”
“My mother defied the Elusians to help humanity. Hers is a long story, but she’s generally looked upon as saving our species and…caring as a Watcher. Corai stands beside our purpose, and few fault her after she’s lost her entire people. Elusians as a whole were, um, sometimes cruel, but humanity wouldn’t exist without them. Perhaps we understand why they became wayward.”
“Why?” I demanded, shocked that compassionate Sagua would offer a justification for the same cruelty she’d despised in us. “You just said they didn’t care about your…about human lives.”
Sagua sucked in a sharp breath. “Lucren, it’s difficult to be an immortal. A soul can erode over a million years the same as a great canyon. The Elusians were primordial. The first ones to live forever, to my knowledge. They were billions or trillions of years old: old enough that they stopped counting. Multiple stars came and went, warped in to feed their planet and warped out at the end of their lifecycle. Very, very old.”
“Wow,” I breathed, my eyes popping as I tried to put that in perspective. Stars were supposed to outlast Aratas’ entire civilization, but the Elusians saw them come and go like seasons. “That doesn’t seem natural. I don’t know if anyone’s supposed to live that long.”
“Then I think you get it. Their lives were unending and became directionless. You can understand though, it’s not so foreign and scary. You know all too well how easy it is to lose yourself just in a natural lifespan, and to stop caring about lives and the important things. I…I would rather die permanently than to ever be like that.”
“That’s why you choose to keep caring for Aratas when we don’t deserve it. Because once you stop, that part of you erodes.”
Sagua’s lips tightened, as if she didn’t like something I said. “All life is sacred and deserving of love, by your inherent nature. I know you aren’t fond of your species right now, but I believe it’s within you to change and to be better than your predecessors. Pelsyl, Treysyl, even Arata: none of that defines you. Is that really all you think you are?”
“I think I’m a soldier who wasted his life. It was a pathetic, short, ultimately meaningless stint on a hateful planet. That’s not much better.”
The alien grimaced and started to protest, before sighing. “Your life isn’t over. It’s just different. Look, we’ve talked about enough heavy stuff; I want you to have a good time. You must have other things that meant something to you. Did you…”
“Did I what?” I asked, noticing the immortal hybrid wavering.
“Were you with anyone, uh, romantically, before you died?”
My mouth went dry. Is she asking me if I’m single?! “W-well, I was engaged before the army, but she broke it off when I went off to war. So that was…over, quite some time ago. I died alone.”
“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that!” Sagua exclaimed the words with a bit too much force, but her jawline relaxed in an inexplicable way. “That must’ve been difficult.”
“It was. Now I know I threw my chance at a long life and love away because I was hoodwinked out to the front lines. There’s not much that means anything to me. Why don’t we just focus on things you enjoy? I’d be happier seeing what matters to you.”
The human whisked our empty plates away and scrambled over to the musical horn Keensty had mentioned. She passed it to me, and I studied the valves on the side with genuine interest; Sagua grinned as I ran my paws over the cool metal. She gave an emphatic nod when I asked if I could try it out, not wanting to be weird if she wasn’t okay with my saliva on her mouthpiece. After living next to a bunch of guys in squalor and sharing canteens, I couldn’t care less, but I didn’t want to weird her out.
I’ve already been a downer. Maybe if this instrument is as similar to the frillhorn as it looks, I can play one of the upbeat songs I know from home. Sagua wanted to see a positive element of Arata culture, so while I’m sure the composition is primitive compared to what she knows, she might enjoy it.
The humanoid’s smile widened when I began testing out the notes, and began skipping between them once I figured out the force and the tenor. She granted me her entire attentiveness, her dark eyes glowing with captivation. The weariness evaporated from her face, overtook by sudden energy and coloration. She danced and clapped her hands to the rhythm of the notes, brushing up against me as she moved around in a dizzy dance. Her laugh was sonorous and beautiful, honoring my old favorite tune.
“Holy shit. You play!” she exclaimed with delight, bubbling with enthusiasm. “That was wonderful, Lucren. You picked up an alien horn and managed to make it work first try; that’s some finesse! You should talk more openly about your talents.”
I lowered the horn from my lips and handed it to her with a bow. “Your turn, Sagua. Blow me away!”
The alien tried to imitate my tune, before shaking her head and waving a hand dismissively. “Aw, I can’t play by ear. That would be a nice parlor trick. Why don’t I get visions for that?”
“Because your visions know I want to hear human music. Come on. Play me something you like.”
“Something I like? Well, I’m a little eclectic.” Sagua blinked several times and stroked her chins, before taking telepathic command of a speaker. “I’m just putting on a strings, vocals, and percussion backing track. The horns are all me. If you feel the energy, you gotta get up and jump around.”
“Heard!”
On the recording stringed instrument had a layer of bass over it as it skipped through simple chords on the recording, moving in fast succession; the percussion ticked off a rapid beat that Sagua nodded her head along to. The horns had a sort of glib, singsong quality with the slightest sprinkle of soul. She caught every note to perfection, and her slender fingers moved effortlessly. Her enjoyment of the music was contagious.
My focus was on her parts throughout the pieces, but there were portions where she waited for slight accents. This was primarily during the verses, where the guitar muted into skipping notes that seemed to be plucked like the patter of raindrops. The chorus was uproarious and energetic, going at full blast after the bridge sped up into it. The horns blared in time with the loud parts, and I allowed myself to get lost in the infectious chaos. Sagua sashayed along with me as I bounced and twirled along.
Sagua beamed when I gave her applause at the end. “I hope you like it. I could’ve picked a crowd-pleaser, but me personally, that’s my taste. High beats per minute, a little mischievous. I doubt I was supposed to show you ska punk as your first foray into our music, yet somehow, you bring that side out of me, Lucren.”
“Is that a good thing?” I asked, clueless to how she expected me to respond to that.
“I don’t know. If you’re having a good time, I know I’m having a blast, so we’ll call it that. I mean, you made my day seeing you dance. Ahem. I think I’m going to pick out a movie now, before it gets too late. Feel free to look around my place, in case there’s anything else you want to ask about. I’d show you anything.”
I perked my ears up with gratitude. “Thanks. I think I will take a look around. I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you better, Sagua.”
“It’s been an honor. Mom says I drive people nuts with the trumpet when they come over though, so I’ll give you the relaxation and cuddling you came for. I did promise you a movie.”
Cuddling? Hm, I guess that sounds nice, but that’s weirdly close in our culture…and she’s an alien. Humans are very touchy-feely. “I’m sure you’ll pick a fun one! Assuming your cinema is, um, half as amazing as you are.”
Sagua’s toothy grin spread from ear-to-ear, and she turned herself toward a television screen with occasional furtive glances toward me. I couldn’t blame her for watching me, since I was an Arata in her private residence; I wouldn’t have trusted me either. I scampered off for a respectful browsing of her apartment, perhaps to see the other items Keensty had mentioned for myself and hear her explanations. It was always a breath of fresh air to hear her talk.
Sagua could say the universe was going to collapse, and it’d sound like that was okay from her lips. There was some effervescent quality about her that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I shook my head and tried to focus, not wanting to make a fool of myself. What mattered was that we both enjoyed our evening together, and that I didn’t botch the personal connection that was starting to form. It might be impossible to understand an alien with such a wild history, but I was determined to try.
A/N - 9! Sagua shares more about her people and her interests, and Lucren finds himself enjoying her company far more than he expected. What do you think about their time together so far?
As always, thank you for reading and supporting!