FBI Agent Wade Barron POV
My mind and body were exhausted from the last few days, but even as the sedatives wore off, I still felt numb and dull on the inside. Returning to NASA in Craun’s absence was as if I was entering a funeral home; long gone were the cheery, naive eyes that hoped we could bring the aliens around. My hopes of convincing them were also squashed, if not altogether revoked. However, Project Iris was only being “dismantled” long enough for the work to be moved underground; apparently, Dr. Kaitlin Sharp had outlined a plan to hide the continuing effort to make humanity interstellar from Council observance.
If there was ever a day where we went to rescue them from the aliens’ clutches, I wanted to go after them. I had to helm the efforts to save them. The Council had shown they’d spare us no indignities; the amount of bruising on my ego, after being spoken to like a baby and having them all but…wipe my ass in the most coddling demeanor. Part of me knew I was lucky to be alive, yet it’d made me so angry. What caused the deepest rage of all was that Kaitlin had offered herself for me, when I’d never want that!
Everything I did was to protect Craun, and now, he’s just gone; that’s it. It was all for nothing. All that we have left is building a ship and perhaps trying to talk to the Saphnos—they are a doomed species, and the Council wouldn’t even let us message them with a life preserver. Fuck!
“We have to get them back. All of them!” I stormed into my office in a brooding rage, the weight of my failure closing in on me. I was so incensed by Craun just giving up, after everything I taught him about resistance; our direction for the future and our hopes of defending humanity were obliterated. “The aliens were my responsibility, and…oh.”
Hazel popped off from where she waited alongside the wall, wrapping me in a hug. “It’s good to see you, Wade. Welcome home. Don’t stop yourself on account of me; I can’t blame you for…needing a little venting time.”
“In that case, I’m happy to vent away. If you thought Craun looked funky, you should’ve seen Snelga,” I grunted, settling down behind my desk. “A vet. I was treated by a fucking vet. I come home, hardly wake up before I’m being questioned about my experience. I…I had to explain every detail about how she…”
My FBI partner frowned with sympathy. “You’ve been through a lot. You’ve risked everything to keep Craun safe and see this through, but you really outdid yourself this time. Back from being…abducted. The thought makes my skin crawl.”
“And it should, Haze. Trust me, you don’t want to be anywhere near those bastards’ custody. Snelga spoke to me like—she called me a ‘good boy’ for sitting still for a shot, gave me treats for being ‘cute,’ and thought I couldn’t understand more than the most basic things. I was going actually insane.”
“Are you serious?!”
“Yes! For once, it’d be nice if you’d believe me. The worst part is that, me trying not to let them give themselves up will be taken as proof that they were right to restrain me. I might’ve thought my methods through if I wasn’t drugged and my judgment impaired. So Finley and Kaitlin will be dragged around like circus animals, with no rights and being talked to with infantile, dehumanizing—gah! Why the fuck would they sign themselves up for that?!”
“Hm, I find myself wondering the same thing about lots of my peers: especially all the shit you got yourself into. An alien invasion, Wade?” Hazel smiled at me, though I could see genuine worry in her eyes as she tried to lighten the mood. “You are batshit to place yourself smack dab in the middle of that. Even Nguyen admired your bravery.”
“I wanted to keep fighting: a war of attrition. If you let your opponent stick around...” I leaned back in my chair, pressing both hands to my head. “I don’t know where we go from here. Humanity is just fucked. Totally, utterly fucked!”
My old partner placed a hand on the table, as I slumped over. “You’ve been under a lot of stress. You should give yourself a minute to breathe. I’m glad to have you back, and I’m with you whatever the next step is. I know we’re not going to quit. Craun meant a lot to so many people.”
I reached out, giving her fingers a light squeeze. “That, he did.”
My laptop buzzed with a new email notification, and I popped it open with a half-hearted arch of my eyebrows. If there was word about what would become of Extraterrestrial Security, now that being that department head was to be the king of nothing, that would give me something to focus on other than the loss of my friends. My interest immediately perked up as I saw it was an email from Kaitlin Sharp, sent on a delayed timer, titled “An Explanation.” I leaned forward, scrambling to open it.
Don’t get me wrong, I liked the esteemed NASA researcher a lot—I recommended that Craun came here on the reputation of people like her alone—but Kaitlin and I ran in different circles most of the time. Why would she sacrifice herself for me?!
“Hi, Wade. I hope you’ve made a safe recovery home.” Kaitlin gave a soft smile at the screen, as Hazel moved in to see what I was watching. “I don’t want you to feel guilty over the choice I made; I…had my reasons. First of all, aliens are my dream, and I wanted to go. I would’ve even with the primal treatment, and even if it wasn’t for my circumstances.”
I gave Hazel a confused look, pausing the video. “What circumstances? Do you know what she’s talking about?”
“I…remember her telling Craun she was unable to bull ride,” Hazel responded. “I didn’t like the sound of that. She had the marked lack of concern for her safety…”
My mind flashed back to the bunker, with Kaitlin brushing away concerns about getting shot and struggling to walk. “…of someone who believed they were already dead. My God.”
“Let her tell you why, because I think she’s about to. We could be way off the mark.”
Kaitlin resumed speaking, a strain in her voice. “Wade, you have an entire life ahead of you, and I…don’t. I was diagnosed with ALS, which is…incurable and terminal. The life expectancy once you’re diagnosed isn’t more than a few years.”
My eyes about bulged out of my skull, hearing that the chipper NASA researcher had been harboring such a grim diagnosis. I didn’t understand why she hadn’t told anyone, when we would’ve all wanted to help her however we could; we’d at least want her to be comfortable. I, of course, could comprehend how difficult and personal that handling something of that magnitude would be. Kaitlin might not have wanted to “burden” others, or she wished to live free of pitying looks and treatment. It made perfect sense why she wouldn’t care about a future she didn’t have, and why she’d volunteered herself.
It wasn’t my place to speculate on her motives, but I wished she would’ve trusted someone to be supportive. No one deserved to be alone through such a hardship, especially now, when she’d be enduring such a decline through animalistic treatment in the Council’s custody. There was a part of me that admired the sheer selflessness and lack of self-pity she’d shown, when no one would’ve found fault with her spirits for dragging. How could I get upset about my time with Snelga, when the tribulations Kaitlin resiliently had gone through were far worse?
“I’d ask you not to tell anyone. This is a way of sparing my parents watching my…slow death. I don’t want them to suffer from…knowing my fate,” Kaitlin sighed. “I’d like them to believe that, granted, I’m never coming back, but I’m still out there alive—having the time of my life with aliens. It’s better like this. And don’t worry, I…I let a few people at NASA know, so they won’t blame the Council for…whatever happens to me. Thank you for understanding. I’m sorry it turned out like this.”
Kaitlin didn’t want to hurt the people around her. I can’t imagine what she’s been going through, and yet none of us ever suspected something like this.
Hazel’s eyes were wide with shock, as the video finished. “That’s heartbreaking! Wade, if they see her like an animal, what are the chances she’d get the kind of…treatment and care that she’ll need? There’ll come a day where she can’t do basic things for herself.”
“We have to try to get her back. Tell them we made a mistake; send me back instead, I mean, shit. That’s not right to leave her to die out there with a terminal disease,” I grumbled. “There’s no contacting the Council though, so we just—we have to go after her. We have to get her back, fast.”
“You and what army, Batshit? We saw how riling up the Council went, and we’re alone, again: without any allies or any ships. No one respects us. We need time to catch up, and that’s time Kaitlin won’t have. She made her choice, and she did say it was her dream. To see another world before she dies.”
I bit my lip, feeling my chest burn with the unfairness of this all. “I feel terrible, for everything. I hate letting people I care about go; I don’t know if I’m capable of doing that, no matter who tells me it’s for the best! Kaitlin didn’t seem to get it at the base either…I don’t leave anyone behind. It’s why I never would’ve agreed—”
The door creaked open, and Terry poked his head in, remembering to knock after the fact. “Hey, uh, is now a bad time?”
“Now fucking sucks for everyone, so come on in,” I responded. “We’re all that’s left of the inner circle. I’m sorry about Finley; we came a long way from me chasing you down, thinking you were secret terrorists or a cult.”
“Yeah, we thought you were tryna cover up UFOs, but you just wanted to find out the truth. You helped save the rock people—and the planet. We appreciate you, Barron. You got Craun a good setup and took up our fight.”
I eyed him skeptically. “I know I just got kidnapped, but that’s too much flattery. What is it you want from me?”
“It—it is true! But I, uh, I figured if anyone goes after Craun, it’d be you. I want to help you, so Finley can come home. I don’t want to be a civilian, not at the next fight.”
“I’m sure the Space Force will be a growing enterprise. Enlist and if anything does happen, I’ll have you on my detail. I…understand how you feel.”
Terry rubbed at his shoulder, seeming more bashful than usual. “I heard what it was like for you. Finley ain’t gonna handle that well. It’s my fault for making him and Craun get together; that’s why they took him. Aw shucks, man, he’s just a farmer. I’ve known him almost all my life. Finley can’t be gone. He’s gotta come home!”
I stood from my desk, giving him a resolute stare. “I’ll promise you the one thing I can: I’m going to do everything in my power to bring them all home. This primal is going to hold a long grudge.”
“You and me both! That was our fucking rock person!”
“What I think will stick around in humanity’s memory is that they wouldn’t even speak to us,” Hazel sighed. “I can’t say I’ll ever forget how that felt. For ‘rational’ people, the Council sure were trigger-happy and averse to talking. I wish we had a way to answer that sentiment.”
I drew a sharp breath. “It looks dark now, but maybe we’ll figure something out. NASA will keep working and the rest of us…we’ll keep our friends in our memory. We’ll not give up.”
Terry and Hazel nodded in agreement. Kaitlin’s story made it clear to me that she needed my protection from the Council; the last thing I wanted was to entrust a sick primal’s care to someone like Snelga. There was plenty of motivation for humanity to despise the aliens, and that brought our species closer together than ever before in our history. Earth would never be the same, now that we knew the real reason we were alone. It was unclear how we could hope to level the playing field, but I wished with my entire being that we’d find a way to make them listen.
A/N - 42! Wade is furious that his friends gave themselves up for him, and he also tells Hazel about how Snelga talked about him. Kaitlin left a message explaining that she has ALS, which is why she was so unconcerned for her safety. Terry wants to enlist to go after Craun and Finley in the future, hoping to get them back.
How do you expect the Council to handle a primal with a terminal disease? Do you expect that Wade will be able to stage a rescue?
As always, thank you for reading and supporting!