It was easy enough for Sagua to correct my Treysyl appearance. The alien sat me down in the back corner and asked to remain still to avoid any glitches, before pinging me to accept an avatar file she’d sent. I followed simple instructions to activate the exterior projection, and the hybrid extraterrestrial turned a mirror toward me with a wink; my features had been overlaid by a Pelsyl’s stripeless coat. She draped a blanket over my legs to hide my taller height, then reminded me of her most important directive.
“Remain silent, please. Your audio translator is activated by default, but that only lets you understand us and them, not speak the languages,” Sagua instructed. “Your dialect and your voice will give you away. If you have anything you want to say or ask, just tell me telepathically. You’re here to listen—and listening is a Watcher’s most important skill.”
I startled, blinking several times. “What?”
The human frowned, then rolled her eyes back in her skull in a sassy display. “Haha. Very funny. I mean it though. Can I trust you?”
“Of course you can,” I choked out, though the lump in my throat made it difficult. You shouldn’t. The entire reason I contacted you was to distract you. “I don’t want to make any trouble for you, let alone fight with a Pelsyl myself. I am so tired of fighting. I…wish we could learn to live with each other.”
Something resembling hope brightened in her eyes. “Then I’ll bring him in. His name is Joldrin, I checked the military registry. I don’t want to suddenly warp him here, but I’ll make a very visible glowing blue portal that he can walk through to speak to someone. Let’s just give him a moment.”
I settled back in the couch, finding an inexplicable amount of nerves tumbling around in my gut. Somehow, it’d been less intimidating when Ralto barged in my room with weapons and professed to know everything, than when I was masquerading as one of Joldrin’s own people. I wasn’t sure what I was frightened of learning about the Pelsyl, but the idea that I might like them was dangerous; Keensty would never accept that. I was beginning to believe Sagua’s implication that they would be normal and relatable.
It’s dangerous if I feel any more concern or empathy for them. I already have to reckon with the ideas of them having sightseeing tours, and dying selflessly for their peers. I mean, as nice as it would be to believe me sharing the truth could bring the war to an end, the Pelsyl still hate us. They won’t give the same acceptance in kind.
“Ahh!” A Pelsyl staggered through the invisible gateway, looking around and grabbing his sides with crazed eyes. His pupils landed on Sagua “What the fuck? Where the fuck…w-who…”
Joldrin tried to return back through the portal he’d come through, but Sagua had whisked it out of existence. He yelped and ducked behind a sofa, looking every which way for an escape route. His eyes fell on me, silent pleas for help and answers written in them; there was a tinge of relief when he saw someone familiar. Having just died fighting the Treysyl, I doubted he’d be happy to know he was face-to-face with one. I stayed mute, glad the avatar hid my true identity.
Joldrin peeked over the couch, his eyes watering while Sagua remained stationary and placid. “How long have I been dead?! Why are aliens resurrecting corpses? I thought this was far in the future, and we reversed death or something.”
“You’re close,” Sagua responded, her voice silky. “We’re aliens that can reverse death. We stepped in as soon as you died to save you, Joldrin. You weren’t dead for more than a few minutes, if that’s any assurance. I’m sorry for the fright; we can have this conversation after you’ve had some time to think, if you’re not ready.”
“No, I want answers! How is this even possible?!” The Pelsyl made emphatic gestures at his restored body. “Who the hell are you? What do you want? And who is he; why is he helping you?”
“I brought an Arata observer to make you feel more comfortable and to attest that you’re well-treated. My name is Sagua, a traveler from another universe. Our mission is simple: to prevent people from being lost forever, when they could live forever with an infusion of our technology. If we have the power to save people, why should we not do as much as we can?”
“You’re some…charity? The White Saltire of resurrection?” Joldrin uttered the name of the defunct cross-subspecies first aid troupe, who stopped offering humanitarian aid after multiple Pelsyl attacks on their missions. I wondered to myself whether that was even true. “Huh. Well, the Treysyl will shoot their frills to spite their face, so you can bet they’ll want to sabotage you! Smart to stick to the Pelsyl; at least we’re capable of appreciating morals.”
“Ask him what he means by that,” I transmitted by Sagua, my heart lurching as I heard the rhetoric that, if reversed, could’ve come from one of us. “Ask him what happened to the White Saltire. Please.”
The alien pursed her lips, giving Joldrin a thoughtful nod. “Did something happen to this White Saltire?”
“The Treysyl shot any of them who tried to help us. They took some of their own to black sites for being race traitors. Their philosophy was that the whole point of leaving wounded alive is it takes two others out of the fight. Having actual doctors swoop in? That couldn’t happen.”
“We heard the Pelsyl gunned them down in cold blood, and bombed areas they knew the Saltire be,” I told the human, who gave me a slight glance to reflect that she was listening. “Is it true?”
Sagua gave a weary sigh. “Does it matter, Lucren?”
“Of course it matters who did an atrocity! How could you say it doesn’t?”
“Because what matters is that Joldrin believes it’s true, as much as the Treysyl place stock in your version of events. History will be shaped to fit whatever side wins and wishes for their own exoneration.”
“So the Pelsyl did do some of the things we’re taught?”
“They have their Hrothls. You’re all to blame, but refuse to accept your own part in it.”
“So then tell Joldrin that! If what he believes isn’t true here or somewhere else, why shouldn’t he know the truth? You told me the real version of events. The Pelsyl should get the same ‘courtesy.’”
“Lucren, he just died. During our first conversation, I merely asked to understand and gave myself time to fully research the Mainbeam. I’m not going to spout uneducated opinions about the White Saltire, or create the image of taking sides. The last thing I want is for any of you to make me…pick and choose!”
“That’s not what I’m doing. We’ve been blind our whole lives. How else can we move on if they just think Treysyl are evil, that we just gun down charity workers and we like that? It does matter if we’re NOT the reason the White Saltire is gone. It shows Joldrin he’s been lied to, and it frees him to start over!”
“Let’s say I convince him. Ten other dead Aratas who hate each other take their place; it won’t change anything, and you showed me that it’ll just piss him off. I told you the truth because I wanted to see if this hatred even could be broken, Lucren! We…we couldn’t have a real connection if your heart was poisoned. You were the first to reach out, and for that, you deserved better!”
Joldrin blinked several times. “Is something wrong? I get that it’s horrifying, but this is…an awkward silence. You’re making me nervous.”
“Oh no! I’m so sorry, I was trying to research what you said,” Sagua answered in a hurry. “I need some time to get my facts straight there, but I promise, I’ll look into it—for the good of us all. We’re very nonviolent, so we don’t want to get involved in this war. Death truly saddens us, and it must be difficult for you to process your new status. I saw your selfless last act, Joldrin, and I can’t imagine what went through your head. I hope this new life will give you peace.”
Joldrin shivered, eyeing her with fear. “What did you do to me? Please, just send me home! I…I’m the youngest of seven brothers. Lots of boys, but I’m Mom’s favorite. She’ll be devastated! I promise, I could tell people about what you’re doing, and…I think they’d accept an alien W-white Saltire. That’s good fusu. Please…”
“Your relatives will come here in time. I know this is impossible to ask you to understand, against your free will, but your world and your society can’t sustain everyone living there forever. It’d destroy those left behind and never give them a chance to take the reins; it’d likely worsen the war through perceived immortality too. We don’t want to be responsible for hurting you—your brothers were with you out there, weren’t they?”
“Two of them. That’s…why I dove on the grenade. I wanted to save my family, but now I’m alive and I miss them and…what, I can never see them?! Who the fuck are you to tell me that? I’m one person, what harm can it do to do a good deed? What kind of charity are you?”
“I…I’m truly sorry. You did save your brothers, Joldrin. With our technology, we can keep you young and immortal, so you will be able to make up for lost time. This seems like the end of the world now, but all I can tell you is, this’ll one day seem like a blip in the radar.”
“That’s easy for you to say! You can go right home to the people you care about, and you’re in control. We didn’t agree to this. Nobody fucking made you the boss of us!”
“I don’t claim to be perfect or that it’s…fair that we decided your fate. You might feel like a prisoner or that I’m cold. I want to protect your world’s integrity and preserve every person on it. Those interests don’t mix. We would love to welcome you into our multiverse, to join our society as equals; I have no desire to crush your spirit, and I want you to have an amazing life. Surely that’s better than being dead right now.”
“Psst, Lucren,” Keensty’s voice spoke into my mind, startling me. “You’re not in your room, but it seems like a fashionista was. I borrowed the sleeveless tees, by the way—yes, all seven of them. Did Sagua take you back?”
“Yeah, she was really cool about everything,” I replied. “She introduced me to a…friend and asked me to, um, shadow her at work. I’ll be with her for a while, so you shouldn’t wait around for me.”
“Ooooh. We’re so back.” Keensty purred into my mind. “What are you up to?”
I froze, knowing that he’d consider helping a Pelsyl adjust to the afterlife to be an unacceptable betrayal; there was no way I could tell him. “…nothing! What are you up to?”
“I found a flight simulator video game, and I think it’s our ticket, but hang on a minute. I want to hear more about this…nothing.”
“It’s not important, really, just lay off. This isn’t a good time—just focus on your simulator. You do your stuff, I’ll do mine.”
“This isn’t a good time? So you’re busy right now?”
“Yes! Fuck off, Keensty!”
Keensty giggled. “Oh, so you’re fucking now? About time! You could’ve just said that.”
“What?! Keensty, you’re fucking disgusting—no, we’re not! For crying out loud!”
“You both will be crying out loud soon, if you turn the moves on her real good. How flexible are you? Is she good in—”
“Fuck the fuck off! You’re ruining everything; STOP MESSAGING ME.”
“Fine, fine. No need to get fussy. Have fun, Lucren! Good on you!”
I hadn’t heard a word that Sagua and Joldrin exchanged, but when I snapped my focus back to them, the Watcher was hugging the Pelsyl and pressing a vial of nanobots into his paw. I couldn’t help but to feel a little jealous seeing her kindness given to one of them, as I supposed I’d started to get foolish ideas about being special. It was doubtless that I was fortunate to have any connection with her; she deserved positive moments, and that meant I should prove I could not be bitter.
“It’s a lot to take in, Joldrin, but I’m very glad we didn’t lose you. There’s so many people in the multiverse that’ll be better off for having known you; the possibilities for what you can do and where you can go are endless! You have incredible courage,” Sagua offered. “There are lots of people here that need help finding their ways. However you feel about our belief system, I hope you’ll find a way to do good. To make a life your family can be proud of when you’re reunited.”
Joldrin pocketed the vial and looked around with furtive glances. “I’ll…think about what you said, Sagua, but it doesn’t sit well with me. You can’t just have people wake up here out of nowhere! We deserve proper communication; a little heads up would be nice.”
“If I can think of a way to do it without disrupting and contaminating your entire culture, I swear to you that I will. We do want to make contact, as soon as we can be assured you won’t have a negative reaction to us. Aratas are smart and sophisticated. We’re still getting things figured out, but we can make it work. I hope you’ll choose to be our friend and join our cause.”
“Like I said, I’ll think about it. I need to talk to other people and figure out…the state of affairs up here, and your silent friend doesn’t look to be much help there.”
“Yes, I’m afraid he’s just an observer trying to learn himself, but you’re more than welcome to seek advice from your peers. I hope you’ll make yourself at home.” Sagua materialized a glowing blue hologram. For all of the reputation the Pelsyl had to me my whole life, he seemed…reasonable enough. “There’s the portal back to your room—I wish you nothing but the best, Joldrin! It was lovely to meet you.”
“Yeah, nice to meet you. I’ll…take my leave.”
Joldrin jogged off through the portal, like he was afraid she might vanish the exit again if he dawdled. It was easy enough for me to switch off the Pelsyl avatar, and I stood up and stretched my legs. Sagua sent a warm smile in my direction, seeming pleased that I’d minded my manners and maintained my silence during that session; she didn’t seem bothered by the private grievances I’d aired about the White Saltire. Her gaze lingered on me for enough time to find it strange…was she having a mental conversation?
“I hope you learned something, Lucren,” the human sighed, a hint of satisfaction in her voice. “That’s why I try to help everyone.”
I tilted my head. “He was nothing like I would’ve expected. He seems like a good guy who had a family back home.”
Sagua’s smile intensified. “Exactly! I’m…so proud of you, Lucren, I really am. You’ve grown so much in such a short time that it’s remarkable! When I look into your eyes, I just want to drink that beautiful person in; you love and you care in a way that makes my imagination run wild, just thinking of how wonderful intimacy with you could be. You astound me in every way.”
“Do I really? Wow.” That’s…she does value the connection we have! I hope this brings us closer, though that will make it harder to betray her. “Uh, you astound me more with the levitation and Watcher stuff. Never dreamed that I’d see these kinds of things!”
The human’s joyful expression fizzled. “I’m…glad our powers capture your interest, and that you’ve…gotten to see some cool things. I guess that: what I mean is that it’s time for us to take a break. Despite being on a space station, I don’t think you’ve actually walked in space. Do you, uh, want to do that, Lucren?”
“That’s so kind of you to offer to show me! Yes, I’d love to walk around in a spacesuit and…get the full view and experience. I haven’t been outside the station since I died, or seen it from the exterior, for that matter. It should be fun! I already know you’re a great tour guide!”
“Yes, Captain Sagua and nothing more,” she mumbled, near inaudible. “Sorry, I’m just…glad you’re having fun, Lucren. You deserve that. Let’s not waste any time; heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s off to space we go!”
“You don’t have to if I upset you. I shouldn’t have questioned you during the meeting.”
“No, it’s not that! We’ll talk outside and I can get some things off my chest. I have no interest in playing games. Just us, the beauty of the stars, and honesty between…friends. Can I fix you up a spacesuit? They’re, um, pretty cool.”
I perked my ears up. “Sure! I always heard space was beautiful, so it’ll be exciting to learn more about it from someone as amazing as you!”
Sagua’s eyes grew somehow more conflicted, but she got to work creating a translucent nanobot suit that covered every inch of my body. It was so thin and nigh-undetectable that it seemed impossible for it to be sufficient separation from the vacuum. However, the human was using the same thing on herself, and if she’d survived for millions of years, I figured I could trust her technology to hold up. Besides, she could bring me back if anything happened, now that I thought about it.
The Watcher gave my spacesuit a final once-over, before grabbing my hand and teleporting us both out under an endless, starry expanse. I hoped that whatever was troubling her, it wasn’t anything that I’d done to ruin the bond we shared together.
A/N - 16! Lucren witnesses Joldrin’s arrival and connection to his family, and he learns that both sides point the finger and tell the White Saltire’s eradication very differently. Sagua offers to take Lucren on a spacewalk while her flattery sails right over his head. What do you think hearing how the Pelsyl have their own version of events, just like Lucren’s people do? Do you expect Sagua to share anything on this spacewalk?
As always, thank you for reading and supporting!