Primal Rage 52

Ambassador Rauja POV

My sleep was broken and restless, though it was through no fault of the primals’ accommodations. I felt a pang stab through my heart every time I thought back to how zealously and swiftly the animals had pledged themselves to the Saphnos’ defense; they wanted to help, while the people of the galaxy couldn’t give a damn. Did they deserve to die, even if they were irrational nonsapients? The humans had been so sweet, that it was difficult to take advantage of them and send their clueless faces off to a slaughter.

I’ve never been big on primal protection laws, but now I see why it’s so unfair to prey on creatures that are just smart enough to communicate. I feel guilty, because they’re so innocent. 

Agent Barron believed I was his best friend without any deeper reason necessary; an animal just wanted a companion out of simplicity. I could appreciate their authenticity. The least I owed him, after him vouching for me locked Marcia into her supportive offer, was the game of Kiel before I boarded my ship for home. It was the one thing he asked that we did together, and it was all the more endearing. Wade missed Craun playing with him after Craun was taken away. 

Again, there was nothing complicated to the humans and the root causes of their feelings. I owed it to Wade to be a proper Craun replacement and get to know him better, like friends would. There was a nagging fear in my heart that I might get more attached to the primals, if I let them grow closer and learned more about them. Anger wasn’t their only trait, and in their rational, choosing state, they were…pure and fragile. They wanted help and support, and I…was doing what the Council did to us.

“Good morning, humans,” I yawned, strolling into the carbon observation area. The primals were sipping on beverages and scrolling their phones. I was leery of disturbing them, but I placed the card deck they’d given me down like an offering. “W-would you still like to play Kiel, my friends?”

Hazel’s eyes snapped up. “Oh, certainly. I’d love to kick Wade’s ass back to the land of the humble.”

“You sound awfully confident, Haze.” Wade’s eyes were baggy and tired, almost as if he’d been plagued by his own thoughts—but maybe he was afraid that the Council was going to hurt him again. It wasn’t clear how much he remembered from his battle-fogged state, yet the one certainty was that he remembered being injured and captured protecting Craun. It might be nerve-wracking to the primal to safeguard me…and he did it anyway. “Did you confiscate Craun’s cheating tools?”

“If I had a rock plate in my arm to stick them between, I might. Then again, where’s the fun in that? I sure hope all of the Saphnos don’t cheat, after our sample size of one.”

“Craun the Fair. That’s what we called him. It was tongue-in-cheek, Rauja; that goofy rock would’ve tried to cheat at a child’s tea party! Ah, it made for a good laugh to see him try.”

“I’m…glad you had a ‘good’ laugh!” I fixed my eye crystals on Wade with a hint of surprise, to see that the primals took his attempts to cheat in stride and could poke fun at it. “I like being honest, so I’d only do that if you asked me to. I want to please you, but I…don’t really know how to cheat? It’s very funny, though! It…sounds like you and Craun were good friends. The same as we are, of course!”

Hazel chuckled. “The first time I saw that big, stony alien, I was petrified. Wade was sitting there just babbling about taking them to NASA, and I didn’t even know what they were. Aliens were…real? My mind was blown; it was impossible to know what to believe anymore. Saphnos looked scary and near unnatural to my eyes.”

“You were indoctrinated into the cult of the lovable rock in time,” Wade snickered. “Though you went pale as a sheet when you first saw I was telling the truth. It really psyched you out.”

“Yeah. It rocked my world.”

“What made you stop being afraid of Saphnos?” I ventured. I can’t imagine how frightening and baffling aliens must be to such rudimentary animals.

Hazel stroked her chin. “Well, I woke up one morning where aliens were just a thing that existed, then the next, and the next, and so on. It became normal. I guess you get used to being around even the most fantastical things when they’re part of your everyday existence. You can come to accept anything.”

“May I ask…what were you afraid of?”

“Hm. The world I know makes sense and operates within certain rules. It’s comfortable and familiar, and I guess it tickles something in the brain when you have an utterly foreign organism. I can predict humans. I didn’t know what Saphnos would do. For all I knew, Craun would start breathing fire and immolate me!”

Wade whistled with appreciation. “He probably could—and so could she, actually. While they don’t have a temper burning bright, they have quite the bellows inside. Rauja the Magic Dragon: there’s a nickname.”

“I, uh, don’t know what a dragon is? But I hope it’s a good thing! And if you like the name, then it’s great to me,” I spewed.

Hazel scoffed. “I want you to play Kiel with us, not sprout wings and burn our cities. Would you like to play the game in your habitat?”

“No, I’d like to sit together, out here with you! Proximity breeds closeness. I can survive in carbon temperatures…like you said, you’d immolate in mine. Which would be horrible!”

“Alright. Sit down and divvy up the deck, then. Good luck!”

I joined the primals at the table, observing their laid-back demeanors and hoping I wouldn’t agitate them with the competitive environment. However, I remembered that Wade vowed that it’d make him angry to discover I was going easy on him. It was unclear if a human could truly discern such a thing, but especially if he was comparing me to a professional card cheat like Craun, it seemed ill-advised to risk it. When the animals were getting stomped, I could evaluate their agitation and make adjustments.

It’s a miracle that Craun managed to teach an animal how to play at all. I wonder if they had to ask him for pointers and have do-overs. Be prepared for that.

To my amazement, as the game progressed, Hazel and Wade seemed more than capable of employing broad strategies and holding their own; they caught me out with bold plays and concealed bluffs that, if I didn’t know better, I’d think were devised by a sapient mind. The way Barron in particular was playing was giving me a lot of pause. He was shockingly perceptive, reading my plays with stunning ease. An animal who wasn’t used to being around civilized people shouldn’t be able to size me up and predict my actions…I needed to be a lot more careful with him!

“You’re good at this, Wade. Craun taught you well,” I praised the primal, as he won yet another hand. “Why, um, don’t you tell me more about what you do for a living? They call you ‘agent,’ and you’re assigned to security.”

Barron smirked, glancing up at me. “I’m a federal agent. That means the government pays me to uphold order and conduct investigations, though that was a lot less batshit pre-aliens. My job’s always been protecting people from those who’d harm them, as well as sniffing out bad guys.”

“I see.” A primal trying to uphold order and protect calm humans from angry ones? “Do you really believe that your…orderliness and sleuthing abilities are good?”

“That’s subjective, though I suppose if you want my opinion: the justice system isn’t perfect, but I firmly believe the law is the backbone of civilization. Someone has to enforce it. As for your second point, deduction…”

Doubt flickered in the back of my mind for a moment, and I wondered if he might have ascertained my insincerity and ulterior motives. “Yes?”

Barron slapped a card down on the table and winked at Hazel. “I found Craun. That was me and no one else. Batshit Barron doesn’t miss.”

“You’re right,” Hazel grunted, rolling her eyes. “You chased Craun down like a maniac.”

“To save humanity. Now, I’m gonna have the same tenacity for the Saphnos and for us. Whatever it takes, I swear I’ll do it.”

I studied the male primal, glimpsing conviction in his pupils and finding myself further entrenched in a web of emotions. “I shouldn’t ruin this, but I have to know. Why do you care so much for us?”

“Because I wish someone had been there for my family like that after my mother’s accident.” Wade slumped his head, a deep frown creasing his face. “Because…I just wish someone would care about humans as a whole now too. It hurts that we’re worth so little…I think you know how that feels, Rauja.”

He’s right. Fuck, stop making this harder. I know I’m asking the humans to die for us, and that I’m going to get them all killed. Their lives aren’t worth as much as a Saphno’s, but it’s difficult not to consider them at all. The poor animals who just love us and want to be loved…

I broke down in tears, the longer I lingered on how my time here compared to the Council’s stonewalling. None of our allies had lifted a finger, which was why we were stuck in the position to use these sappy animals in the first place! Wade placed down his cards and knitted his eyebrows together, gauging something in my demeanor. He bit his lower lip and tried to soothe me with a pat on the back. I didn’t deserve his kindness or sympathy, but I couldn’t tell him that. The Saphnos couldn’t afford to lose their support—I had to do this!

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re alright,” Wade soothed, as his eyes grew all the more troubled. Something was definitely bothering the human. “Do you want to talk about what’s wrong? You…can tell us anything.”

I buried my face in my hands, blubbering. “No one else will help! The Council meetings are just h-horrible. They’re so callous, as they talk about ‘acceptable risk’ and ‘objective value.’”

“Objective value? That’s just nonsense. All value is subjective…and we think you’re worth a heck of a lot. The Council sounds like they’re full of shit and were never in your corner. They were there for convenience, and fuck ‘em.”

“The Council have nothing to gain from helping us, and the moral high ground can already be got from pretending to care. I know it’s logical but it’s my people, Wade, and we’re not worth standing up for! My pleas just fall on deaf ears, and they want to pretend we don’t exist. Not their problem, the Clydids told me, but they could send a war fleet response here for one of our refugees! Just to slash the last of our credibility and have another ‘reason’ not to help us.”

“Wait,” Hazel said, a skeptical lilt in her voice. “They blame the Saphnos for one refugee trying to hide on our world?”

“I mean, yeah.” Oh…shit. I don’t think I should’ve told them that. “What the Council wants is for the Saphnos to die quietly. Without bothering anyone or disrupting anything for them. My requests for aid are a recurring nuisance to everyone but you. Now that you understand that, I know it’s not what Craun promised. Perhaps you’d…reconsider your stance knowing how others act.”

“Why? Because we don’t have anything to gain by standing with you?” Wade made a hideous face that made my blood run cold, a mix of tight wrinkles and dilated pupils. “That’s not why we’re helping, Rauja! We treat you with the same consideration we’d want to be shown if it was you. That’s a basic emotion that I hope isn’t primal. That’s empathy.”

Hazel shrugged and nodded. “You don’t gain anything by pulling a drowning person out of a lake. Can you really just stand by, watch them die, and feel nothing? Do you have that coldness within you to be able to do something to help and watch?”

“It’s not like that, Hazel. The Ploax just aren’t interested in carbon worlds, and the Council don’t want to fight them.” It’s different when it’d cost the Council something. The beasts are incapable of understanding the stakes. “But yeah, they could’ve done anything at all. Hid our refugees somewhere instead of forking them over. Sent evac ships to Tolpia. That raid was…the end of Saphno civilization, and so many lives. Choked in poison…”

Tears welled in Barron’s eyes, as he saw more grieving sand streak down by face. “Rauja, I’m so sorry. Elbi was Craun’s last family after everything, and he just tried a desperate move to protect her. All roads led to death. If Earth was rendered uninhabitable right now, I can’t imagine where we’d go. I doubt the Saphnos can either, and I wish we could offer you something better than Venus. It’s not right.”

“And it never will be, Wade. I loved Tolpia, the cities with rocky domes and basalt columns. The smell of the ammonia springs and sulfuric thunderstorms. It was beautiful, at least to us, and sometimes, it was like a little pocket of perfection. It was where I wanted to raise a family and grow old. You know what I did before I was a diplomat?”

“I don’t.”

“I was a tourism advocate. We wanted to convince the carbon species to visit our world, to find a way to engineer or make that possible the way the Saphnos had modified ourselves to travel their planets. We hoped in turn, other species could value Tolpia and be a part of it.”

“I think that’s a noble goal,” Hazel commented. “The Council should’ve been honored to be included in your culture. I’m sure you would’ve been gracious hosts.”

“We would’ve fallen over ourselves for the Council, because we knew we were different. We worked twice as hard to meet their standards, to be liked. They were never interested in coming to Tolpia’s shores though—the Kexin told me it’d sound like a ‘nightmare’ to their people. I guess I should be glad they were plain in shutting down my pitch.”

“Those bastard fools didn’t appreciate you.” Wade’s eyes had narrowed to barely open slits, like a bird of prey. Wait, did I trigger his temper? “The Saphnos clearly need new friends. For what it’s worth, I’d happily visit Venus—or New Tolpia, if you want to call it that. Whatever’s important to a friend, it deserves to be valued and appreciated. I find our differences beautiful, not a ‘nightmare.’”

“Thank you, Wade. I d-didn’t want to upset you,” I stammered hurriedly. “You’re very kind. Do you need some soothing?”

“What?!”

Hazel’s cheeks puffed out strangely, before she burst out laughing. “Here, Barron Barron. Come to Mama.”

“You can fuck right off. I’m not sure what I said that indicated I needed soothing, Rauja. I just feel sorry for you, and I hate the way they treated you. I hate the position we’re all in right now. That said, we can be better, if you’ll let us be your friends. Humans care. And yes, we’re angry when people we care about are hurt.”

“Angry?” I spoke the word slowly, scooting back from the table and cowering. “So you are angry.”

Wade threw up his hands, making me flinch. “I can’t hide that I’m upset, but at least that shows that we care. Maybe that anger is why we’ll do something about how we feel when others don’t. It’s not directed at the Saphnos in any way, it’s for you. It’s why a human like me will protect you and die for you, if need be. You matter to us, Rauja Tinor. Primal, carbon, silicon—the only label that matters to us is friend.”

A defiant spark glowed in his eyes, and his fists were clenched with menacing determination. Agent Barron and I stared back at each other, as I waited for the eye contact to make the primal lunge. Violence burned beneath his skin and in his mind, yet he seemed a dormant enough beast; his sentences had remained shockingly coherent despite the logical dampening that plagued him. How was the human holding it back and controlling it at all? I didn’t even dare to breathe for fear of spooking him, while Wade picked up his cards and studied them.

Can he even read the symbols right now? Wade is trying to reel himself back in, but the impulses must be so loud. I can’t count on a human for protection: they’re too dangerous. This is the inevitable moment I get attacked, and they can’t stop themselves.

“It’s okay,” I croaked, barely able to cough out the words. “Y-you couldn’t help but to be angry, sooner or later. Remember, I’m your friend! Your very best friend who t-thinks you’re good and is just like Craun. Who’s sorry for making you feel this way. You don’t want to hurt me…”

“No, I don’t.” Wade placed down a card, and cleared his throat. “It’s your move, Rauja.”

I pulled out a card and threw it down. “Maybe Hazel can get me…outside, j-just like back at the diplomatic office? Wade would c-consciously want me protected from all threats. We can have a calm, happy day…”

“Everything’s fine. Wade has it under wraps. Let’s just finish this game.” Hazel flipped the cards, then slammed her fist on the table as she saw Barron had clinched the match point. Scratch that. She’s not calm either. “Goddammit! You had that suit all along?!”

“Oh, don’t act so surprised,” Wade chuckled, extending a hand to me. “Good game, Rauja. Not half bad for a primal, eh?”

My mouthplates chattered with fear, as I cautiously connected our palms. “You’re w-wonderful. Amazing. The best…I’m so happy you did well. Blew me away…you don’t have to be angry. Just be g-generous, helpful Wade…”

I screamed as the primal flung himself at me from across the table. Confusion followed, when the touch didn’t feel like an attempt to strangle or assault me; it was safe, affectionate, and comfortable. The wrathful FBI agent had ensnared me in a tight hug, squeezing me with firm arms. He whispered, “I’m so sorry,” over and over, as I processed those words with bewilderment. Before I had time to respond, the human let go and gave me a teary-eyed smile.

Still overly calm, kind, and articulate, though I’m certain he’s feeling angry over what I just told him. Can humans really target their anger?

“For all of the pain you’ve suffered, Rauja, I’ll go to any lengths to make it right. If you ever don’t see me when you’re here on Earth, there’s a lot of work to be done. I’ll be in the thick of it all. Not just for Craun, but for every Saphno. I love your people,” Wade whispered.

I gawked at the primal. “T-thanks. I…think it’s time for me to take the agreement home.”

“It is. Safe travels, my friend. Until we meet again.”

To my relief, Barron trundled over to the door, giving me a cue that I could make for my ship. Somehow, I’d escaped an encounter with an incensed primal, and he hadn’t turned on me. If rage was part of why the humans cared and were helping, I had to be extra cautious around the easily-triggered beasts.

A/N - 52! As Rauja learns that we’re actually pretty decent at Kiel and how we once feared Craun the Fair, she can’t help but to ask why Wade is so determined to help her. When she hears his reasoning, she breaks down with guilt and discusses how the Council won’t do anything to help. Rauja is alarmed to learn Wade is angry on her behalf, and more surprised that all he does is hug her and say he loves the Saphno people.

Do you think anything that happened or was said during the card game changed Rauja’s perspective? Will she come to understand anger better, and will her guilt make her less inclined to keep using us?

As always, thank you for reading and supporting!