I got frustrated while I was working on some audio, and when I get frustrated I tend to overthink things, so I threw on some shoes and went for a walk.
Walks clear my head and, sure enough, I eventually realized what wasn’t working. But by then, I was about a mile and a half away. I didn't have my phone and I didn't want to forget my idea on how to fix it, so I decided to run home.
I wasn’t wearing a sports bra.
It’s very uncomfortable to run without a sports bra.
So I did the handbra thing.
Since I don’t have a photo, here’s a painting by Lovis Corinth (1890) to illustrate:
I ran like that.
And I was so distracted by the fact I was running through the woods clutching my tits that I totally forgot my idea.
There’s nothing wrong with being turned on
So, I got one of these on YouTube:
On one hand, I think it’s fair. Some of that audio is pretty graphic. On the other, I have strong feelings about the stigmatization of arousal, which happens whenever we restrict depictions of sex for pleasure while giving free rein to depictions that demonize it.
For example, I’m not allowed to post anything that might arouse foot fetishists but I am allowed to vilify foot fetishism. I’m not allowed to post anything designed for sexual gratification but I am allowed to promote sex-negative puritanical rhetoric.
When it comes to sex, you’re allowed to promote feelings of shame, rage, disgust, and fear. But you can’t talk about sex in a way that might make someone hard. Or wet. Or even inspire healthy curiosity and self-exploration. And that annoys me.
So while I understand that it’s their house and their rules, my first reaction was to record a 60-minute ramble about where that comes from—that idea that arousal poses a threat to society, which dates to a time before germ theory—but when I uploaded it, YouTube put it through some kind of hardcore, 5-hour review process, and by then, I figured I should probably spare the world my history rants.
(My background’s in cultural history.)
What I'm working on
This was a rough week for me in terms of audio. In addition to recording a random riff on the history of pornography, which I never posted, I also got stuck on some somnophilia audio. The idea was that you’re my free-use pet and I take full advantage of that while you’re asleep, but something isn’t working.
So I’m setting the somno aside to record other things:
- a scenario where I'm your wife's friend and she's given you a free pass to sleep with me
- a scenario where you're starved for human contact and I help you with that through touch that gets increasingly intimate
- a soft domination scenario
I do want to try getting into ASMR triggers, like ear-to-ear close whispering, mic-stroking, etc. I don’t think I’ve succeeded yet but I’m working on it. Next month, I’ll order a Tascam DR-40X.
As always, if you have any requests or suggestions, don’t hesitate to let me know.