I was going to start on a string of Tunnel Rat chapters, but this chapter really wanted to get written and I've learned to go with the flow. No editing yet, you're getting it one minute after I wrote the last word.=========================================================================
The air was crisp and clean as the wagon train of soldiers and their supplies wound up the steep mountain road, heading for the high pass that would drop them down into the southern part of the Empire. The Winter army was in full retreat after the amazing event that had not only taken out their general and her staff, but also the Council of Winter Wizards that were the terrifying backbone of the army. Monstrous creatures and bands of raiders would be a problem for years, but the army was gone. The nobles who had property in the south began screaming that now was the time to move against the orcs. And the Emperor agreed. Soldiers that could be spared and moved quickly by the remaining teleporters assembled south of the capitol and moved southward to the main pass through the mountains. Normally a narrow and treacherous road, it was worse this year because of the heavy snows that had fallen. Winter's assault had reached far and all mountains in the Empire were capped with record snow packs. As warmer weather came, that snow would fill streams, rivers and lakes, helping the lowland farmers, but for now it lay heavy across the higher elevations. Leading the charge against evil, the Holy Order of Paladins had volunteered to lead the charge on the orcs, and Senior Brother Towers was once again dispatched with a smattering of veterans and one hundred junior brothers and neophytes. The order was enjoying a resurgence in popularity with several of the Junior Brothers taking it upon themselves to clean out dungeons, kill wandering monsters, and take on any quest they could find.
Wispy clouds moved across the sky, and mists obscured the high peaks above them. Several junior members of the Holy Order of Paladins were not happy to find out why Senior Brother Towers had ordered them to put so many shovels in one of the supply wagons. There had been speculation that they were off to stop yet another incursion of earth elementals where the makeshift weapons were more effective than even a flaming sword. The Empire hadn't seen an invasion of elementals in twenty years, but upon the opening of the Gate of Slate at the bottom of the The Endless Quarry, players had not only gained access to the adventures in the Elemental Plane of Dirt, but unleashed hordes of formless spirits that infested fields and pastures. Soldiers had been called in and quests had enticed many players, but most of the dirty work of dealing with elementals had fallen on the Holy Order. Shovels had proved so effective that they were now packed along with any mission. The sight of endless snowdrifts blocking their path and a lack of anyone else coming to do the shoveling meant they were looking at days of work clearing a pathway."Isn't it grand, lads? Some of you have grown bored with endless sword and magic drills. Now we get a chance to work on our Strength and Constitution scores. We have plenty of shovels and no lack of heavy work gloves. Time for us to show the rest of the this fighting force that we aren't just pretty faces and flashing swords."Brother Sundiver turned to brother Timothy and remarked, "It's amazing how whenever one of the old farts says 'we', he really means us." He didn't have to keep his voice low, none of the three Senior Brothers had good hearing, the result of being hit on their steel helmets too many times, both in combat and friendly sparring. The junior brothers made it a habit to always speak loudly when talking to them. Timothy grabbed a shovel and gloves. "Did you get the Dig skill when it was offered after we killed SludgeCrustry? I grabbed it for the extra damage to any elemental made of dirt, sludge, or sand.""Yep, same, and I think half the others did as well. But I suggest we don't show off our ability to dig faster. They'll just work us twice as hard. Let's get a couple of the guys without the skill to set the pace. We can march up that road in a wedge, tossing to the right and left and moving along at a steady pace. Not all of the road is bad, just where it's drifted across. We'll make it to the other end in only a few years."
As usual, Sundiver managed to put both amusement and disdain into his tone. The two of them often paired up these days. The higher powers in Famco had noticed that Timmy's ratings went up when his handsome and witty friend was at his side fighting foes or getting into trouble. As usual, Joseph and Huey were with Sir Timothy, supposedly as personal servants, but mostly to get the video they needed for his weekly show. Famco had offered Sundiver a limited contract for the next season. Like most gamers, Sundiver was thrilled with the idea of his character being in a Gaming Serial, and getting paid to game. Timmy was happy his ratings were going up, but not happy that it was because of Sundiver. This had resulted in a good-natured rivalry springing up between them, which also improved ratings.Sundiver tossed another shovelful of heavy snow to the side and grinned"Maybe we'll get lucky and find some snow elementals?""Now your talking! We can make snowmen tonight and see if they animate. If we can still move."After another hundred feet, they took a small break, looking ahead to the next snowdrift. According to the map they had miles to go until they hit lower areas where the road should be clear. Ever conscious that he needed to keep conversations going for his viewers, Timothy said, "How do you think this battle against the orcs is going to go? The guys in charge seem to think it's going to be a glorious battle."Sundiver smiled, "Don't they always? But this time they may be right. I had to guard the officer's tent the other night and spent some time reading the history of the last few times the orcs went on the warpath. They always do the same thing. They'll be in a big horde heading south, not caring about supply lines or guarding their rear. They Empire stops them in the front with some fortifications and then the second force comes through the pass and hits them from behind. That's us by the way, if you hadn't guessed. The tribes scatter to either side and head to the forests and the Empire is safe for another hundred years. Might actually be glorious, like they say.""Except for the snow.""Yeah, the snow is a real monkey wrench in this plan. Winter really mucked with the local weather and anything higher than a molehill got some snow. These mountains got a lot.""So I've noticed."Commander Towers rode up on his silvery-white warhorse, looking resplendent. "Good job lads, but no time to dawdle. I've got a bet with the Centurion in charge of the 4th Legion that you can clear to the half-way point by nightfall. Do that and they take over clearing the rest of the way."That got the junior paladin's attention. Timothy yelled at the group shoveling and the groups resting. "You all heard that? It will mean more work today so we can coast for a couple of days. Let's do three teams. Front team goes hard, shoveling like demons. Second team cleans up what they miss and widens the trail if needed. Third team rests. We trade off every half-hour. Burn mana to heal blisters and sore muscles and anyone that has bardic training keep a song going to move us along faster."Sundiver backed him up immediately, "Solid plan! We show we're better than the Legion, and then get a couple of days off to watch them work. That puts us in better shape for the battle. Let's get moving."Commander Towers was happy to see that his little pep talk had properly motivated the junior brothers. They were flinging snow and advancing twice as fast as before, singing an old work chanty. It brought back memories of his days toiling in obscurity as a new paladin until he could advance in the ranks. He'd hated it then, of course, but not the Strength and Endurance he'd gained that let him endure long battles and longer days standing guard at court. That was next, after they vanquished the threat of the orcs. He knew the lads would love spending time in the capitol so close to the Emperor and standing guard two shifts a day. A tug on his stirrup made him look down at the messenger trying to get his attention for the last five minutes. "Pardon sir, but do you want the convoy to move up immediately as trail is cleared?""Hmmm. No, I don't think so. We'll let the lads get ahead of us a bit and have lunch here. No sense walking along directly behind them." He turned and galloped away, remembering that the Legion officer's tent was being served roasted game hens that their scouts had brought in as they marched through the foothills. He made a mental note to have hot food sent to the crews clearing snow. Some hot soup would help their morale.Or would have, if it had arrived. The two dozen junior paladins had just reached a relatively clear area when they heard a drum. Anyone who's heard an orcish war drum doesn't forget the noise. This was just one drum, beating one time, but they put down their shovels and looked around, ready to draw their swords if that noise signaled an ambush. Everyone was scanning the near steep slopes on either side of them, but only a few gnarled trees provided cover. Their eyes went higher and higher up the mountains, and a trick of the winds blew away a patch of mist. On the topmost ridge, orcs were marching along. They had drums, but no one was beating them. It was eerie to see the green skins move along the ridge far above them, ignoring them, as if they were out for a holiday stroll. More wind came, and the mists departed, showing a long line of orcs on either side of them, extending past where the wagons and the Legion were paused. Horns blew and soldiers formed into lines around the camp. Then the orcs stopped, turned to faced their foes and stood in place like statues.Timothy stared up at them, and the intervening distance. "No way in hell they charge down that at us. Or will they?"Sundiver grinned, "I like the idea. They'll be tired and half of them will tumbled downhill out of control. My kind of battle."One of the two flags on either ridge went up, and the orcs began drumming. The second flag went up. On the third 'Boom' of the kettle drums, huge orcs slammed the ground with their great clubs in unison. Commanders screamed to be ready for the charge, but no charge came. Just the rhythmic 'boom, boom, boom, THUMP' over and over again. Small bits of ice and snow were dislodged from the peaks, rolling downhill. Timothy suddenly remembered his family ski trip to the Alps. All the boring safety talk had gone in one 10-year-old ear and out the other. But the part about avalanches had seemed really cool. Sadly, he didn't get to see one and was forbidden from trying to start one."Oh, shit..."Smaller orcs squeezed between the larger one holding balls of packed snow. One red-haired girl yelled down at them, "Do you want to build a snow-man?" Then they rolled their balls down hill, dislodging snow and starting a chain reaction all along the line. The thunder of the avalanche mixed with the sound of the beating drums and the screams of the orcs. "Run for the center of the area. Form a circle, and put up your shields. Get in tight and put up any protection spell you've learned!"No one argued as from either side came rivers of snow rushing at them. The shields went up, with several in the center forming a roof. Joeseph and Huey almost didn't make it in, trying to make sure they had good shots of Timmy shouting orders. Then the avalanche hit them from both sides, smothering them in a deep layer of snow and ice. The Legion, further down the pass mostly survived, but the loss of their wagons and horses signaled the end of the campaign. Where they'd had a path to clear, there was now a valley choked with snow. And the wiser heads knew that what the orcs did once, they would do again. As if to emphasized this, one huge orc yelled down at them. "New Tradition, soldier boys. Time to up your game." DarkDeath signaled it was time to march home. The orcs began drumming a different rhythm, with the clubbers just walking along humming and the 'helpers' singing at the top of their lungs. The Warchief was quite thrilled with the display of martial-musical prowess. Orcs were slow learners, but once they did something a few dozen times, they never forgot. He took one last look around, just as the smooth snow in the wide part of the valley erupted as someone tossed aside a few feet of snow and climbed out."Well, well, well. Looks like some of the little paladins lived. Time to go meet them boys."The paladins didn't run, there was nowhere to run to. Several had broken bones. All of them were exhausted from shoveling, and low on mana. Those that could formed up and Sir Timothy took the opportunity for a speech, removing his helmet and flipping his long golden hair back over his head dramatically, making sure Joseph got his good side. "We have survived the orc's cowardly ambush, and now they come to finish us off, not knowing what they face. That large one must be their general that we've heard so much about. I'm going to challenge him and kill him. Keep the others off of me and sell your lives dearly. This may be the day we all die, but we won't go down easily."The war chief paused as he walked, hearing the speech of the golden haired youth. "Little Death? Hand me my number seven club and my small shield. And pay attention girl, someone is going to get a lesson, and you might as well learn something."Timothy stepped forward to meet the orc. He'd specifically made his character as tall as he could, but this monster had him by over a foot and a few hundred pounds, all of it muscle. It didn't matter. He'd killed ogres before and much bigger monsters, this one wouldn't know what hit him. He was surprised with the monster spoke."Heard you bragging that you wanted a piece of me. How about a little duel between us? You kill me and you all get to go free and my lads will surrender and escort you back to the army. But if I win, you all surrender to me."Timmy couldn't believe his luck. He looked over at Joseph, making sure he was filming. "I accept! Ready yourself, vile scum."To his surprise, the orc held up a hand, signaling a pause. "Just a sec, need to whet my whistle." A red-haired girl ran up to him with a huge mug of ale. The orc looked directly at Joseph and grinned, "Fighting and killing is hot, thirsty work, even in a place like this. Nothing gets me ready for a duel to the death like a cold, frosty mug of Bludgeon Double Dark Special Reserve. If your going to fight, kids, make sure to take along a good supply of Bludgeon Brew." He drained the mug and handed it back to the girl. She looked at Timothy and thumbed her nose at him.Then the Warchief walked forward, with just a wooden club and a small shield covered in orcish runes. "Ready whenever you are, Shiny-boy."Timmy charged. He'd practice this charge for over a decade, exploding across the distance, taking his foe by surprise. He'd feint with his sword, allowing the orc to block it but his weapon would skip-off, setting up a backhand blow while his own shield slammed down on the orc's weapon. Adding to that was a devastating Smite that would hit the orc's shield and race up his arm, shocking and stunning him. He executed the charge perfectly, but not to the devastating effect he'd hoped.First, the small shield rotated, catching his sword and deflecting it away. The thunderous Smite hit the shield, but stayed there, the runes on the shield absorbing the magic. And his shield never found the orc's club. Rather than swing at him, the Warchief thrust the chunk of wood straight into his face, pulping his nose and knocking him backward, stunned. Blood was in his eyes, and he was hallucinating, hearing the voice of his old combat instructor."Never assume the other guy isn't just as good as you, and don't rely on the same tricks every time. It makes you predictable and you get surprised."He rose to his feet, surprised the orc hadn't pressed his advantage. He cleared the blood from his face, and planned his next move, his ears ringing. Tossing aside his shield, he drew his dagger. The orc would be surprised when he stepped in close after throwing a sword strike to his knee. He'd duck the club and put the dagger into his adversary's throat, looking him in the eyes as he died.Again the paladin charged. This time, the sword stroke was ineffective because the sword was kicked from his hand. The orc dropped his club, letting it hang by a lanyard from his wrist. Timothy's wrist was caught in a much larger hand, and he felt his arm bones grind painfully. A grinning orc head slammed into his forehead, knocking him to the ground, and again, he hallucinated, hearing the old voice say "Forget the damned cameras and trying to do some stupid 'stare into their eyes as you kill them crap' it never works. Just kill the bastard."He got painfully to his feet, with neither sword, shield, or dagger near him. His right arm was probably broken, and his head was throbbing to the sound of the orc drums as they screamed their Warchiefs name. "DARKDEATH DARKDEATH DARKDEATH."Timmy stared at the orc, who grinned at him....no! he was grinning at the camera! And the face...the voice...a horrible thought entered his head. "You about ready to call it quits Timmy? I'm having fun, but I've got a war to plan and a cold Blud waiting for me. I think that's about enough fighting lessons for the day. If you want more, you'll have to fight my daughter.""NEVER! A Shining Paladin never surrenders." He charged, only to be met by a red-haired fury that tackled him to the ground and began to beat on him without mercy or quarter.Someone handed the Warchief another flagon of ale. "You probably should have surrendered, but that's up to you. Drag him back to camp when you're done pummeling him, Little Death." Then he took a long pull from his mug, making sure the Bludgeon Brew symbol on it was showing for the camera. Then looked at the other paladins. "How about you guys? Want to fight it out, or surrender and head back to camp for some grub and a cold Blud or six?"Sundiver winced seeing what Timmy was going through, "Oh no, sir. We're honorable warriors. You beat Sir Timothy fair and square and we'll honor the agreement. On our honor."DarkDeath nodded, "Smart lad. Let's go get some beer."