Every year as Juniper’s birthday approaches I think back to our first year together. I was 23 and when she was around 7 or 8 months old I lost everything and only had a maybe a hundred dollars left to my name. At the time I had always had my family home to fall back on, but around the same time my family had abandoned that house and there was no longer power or running water there as well as it being 30 plus miles from civilization so it didn’t make sense for us to live there.
My boyfriend at the time was living with his parents and they were nice enough for me to live there as well until I got back on my feet. We shared a twin size bed in a room small enough to be a closet. Luckily, they allowed Moose to live there with us, but Juniper wasn’t an option since she would have needed to be crated most of the time to avoid her destroying everything in the room.
I opted for her to stay in another house owned by family that had also been abandoned. Most of the windows were boarded, there was no electricity, or running water, but she would be safe there, it was nearby, and wouldn’t have to be caged all day. She’d have the house to herself.
She lived there for a few months while I donated plasma to make money to buy her fresh food, while we lived off of grilled cheese and Wendy’s $4 for 4s. I’d wake up early every morning and fill up a bucket of water and drive it as carefully as I could over to the house to avoid it spilling in the car. I’d use the water to refill her bowls, clean up the floors, and wash out her litter box. Then I’d spend hours with her in a deafening silent house while she was happy as could be. I’d eventually have to leave, but made sure to come back every night to tell her “goodnight”.
Most days she was the only reason I got out of bed. I was so ashamed of what my life had become and even though she was my main source of happiness at the time, I felt so guilty for the way she was being kept. She deserved more and for a time I debated finding her a new home so she could live a better life. I didn’t know how long I’d be in that hole and I didn’t want her to be buried with me.
I got to the point where I had reached out to someone about possibly taking her, but then things suddenly started to get better. I was commissioning my art and started making money that way and while I would spend my time at the abandoned house with her, painting, I realized she enjoyed painting too. So, I started selling her art as well. Eventually I was able to afford to turn the power on at my family’s cabin and we moved there together, right after her first birthday.
Not a birthday goes by that I don’t think about that time in our lives and how she helped change mine forever. How she was the reason that I kept pushing to succeed because I could not imagine a life without her in it. I owe my entire current existence to this animal and I will be forever grateful for her. She has been my muse, my happiness, my family, my closest friend, my reason to keep going, and the reason so many other animals now have a safe and happy life. She is everything to me, and as another year with her passes tears fill my eyes to think that there will ever be a time that she will not be there by my side.