I very rarely draw for fun anymore. I draw because I have to, or am compelled to. I guess as part of my anxiety management I've always had a compulsion to draw to keep my mind from wandering. There was a time, however, when I drew simply for the joy of it. Over time, and probably because it's a massive part of my job, I stopped doing it just for fun. Now it's always with a goal in mind. Or the expectation that I could monetize it later on. I think that kind of mindset is one of the biggest toxic parts of culture now. In fact I don't do a lot of things now because I know that there's a chance that i could monetize it later by doing it as some kind of performance. The harder it became to make money over time the worse this thinking has gotten for me. My stubborn refusal to increase my base support level probably hasn't helped, but my reasoning at least in part is that it's the same for everyone. If my dollar doesn't go as far now then neither does anyone else's so asking for more money is just adding to their stress. I've had this account for 13 years. Getting a dollar from people back then was pretty fantastic. Especially since I got 75 cents of it rather than the 50 I get now. Of course I do get the entire dollar in a roundabout way since Patreon fees are tax deductible, but you get what I mean. In any case that calculus that you always do starts to eat away at you all the time until you stop enjoying things. Unfortunately I don't know how to fix that issue. On some level I'm always gonna have to do that math because I chose a difficult path. Being a dancing monkey is hard work, but being a drawing monkey takes it to another level I've found. Especially when you aren't all that great at drawing. XD
All of that said, sometimes I wake up and can't believe I can survive in this world by doing little more than telling stories about people in my head. Even with AI breathing down my neck and bills showing up at my door it's like "Yeah, this is the best way things could be for me."
I often wish I could stop long enough to actually learn how to be just 10% better at what I do, but I have to do all my learning on the fly. And really, if I had time to do that I don't think I'd stick to it. Being forced to keep moving keeps me moving more than time to relax would refresh me.
I suspect that a lot of people, even the ones who work for the man, basically live the same way. They run on fumes and momentum. If nothing else we can all roll on together.
As far as this drawing goes I was just trying to come up with a new character. Possibly for the comic, but also possibly for something else. It's always good to have sparacters around. I named the file Gwen, but that isn't set in stone. On top of that she's just basically another fat girl. How many do I need really? Well, ideally, in my mind at least, all of them. But you can't just do that. Or at least it probably isn't wise. I could just add cute fat girls into the comic endlessly and still maintain some kind of audience.
Anyway, she probably won't end up in the comic, but maybe she will someday. In any case I brought her out for the perverts who want to see nakey drawings and I haven't been very forthcoming with those recently. I could have just changed this into Carol or Alex, but I chose not to because I am still my own master. I hope fans of those two can forgive me.