Man, what happened in April worth talking about? This month was almost entirely John, Bridgette, and Victoria. Many was the time I sat outside the store talking to coworkers after close back in my retail days. Before that I spent a lot of time talking outside with friends and acquaintances. In retrospect people really came to me with their problems a lot. I was somehow forced into the role of advisor to others, especially in love, which I frankly must admit I resent now. I suppose repairing other people's relationships is something that creates good in the world over all, but being left out of it myself, especially now, irritates me and I think I'm finally old enough that I don't much care who knows. All of the other endless hours of advice are as may be. Whatever existed in me that made me the kind of person people could confide in doesn't translate to online interactions. Apparently whatever it is about me that makes people feel safe only works in person. I suspect that in my aged state I no longer posses those features. If you've ever wondered why the characters spend so much time outside, in the twilight hours, around nature, it's because that was basically my 20s. If the conversations feel real it's because I was, in my youth, a conversationalist. I know enough about everything to speak to nearly anyone at length about whatever they are interested in, yet not enough to be an expert in any particular thing. Although I might be able to to it about making comics. Then again, am I an expert? Is there a level of success I would need to achieve to be considered and expert in comics? If there is I probably haven't reached it.
In any event I haunted the various parks and playgrounds of Garden City, Kansas with my peers for a decade, helping everyone but myself. Always listening, always helping, even as I slowly began to resent it all, I kept ending up as everyone's older brother. Even when they were older than me. People used to tell me I had an old soul, but I think it might have been more accurate to call it second hand, or maybe used. It certainly doesn't feel like it came with the cache of being a valued antique.
Several of the places I used to mill around at are gone now, but a few remain. There are also new parks that would have been nice to use if they had existed in the days before Garden became so unsavory. I wouldn't stay out at night unarmed in that town now. It's the victim of slow decline combined with growth. Not the kind of place I'm suited to. It seems like fewer and fewer places are suited to me every year, not that I was going to them anyway.
It is what it is, as they say. I had my time and I blew it, so now the world is for the ones who will try after me. If you are one of those I would urge you to defend your home base. If you don't resist the decline it will come all the sooner.
In any event I hope you will look forward to a new month of pages. I look forward to making and presenting them to you.