Heather had always been uncomfortable with her body. It bulged in uncomfortable places and lacked any semblance of curves in others. She always felt like an amorphous blob and never felt right. It didn't help that everyone always gave her the look. The one that screamed pity, like they knew she was different, and it made her feel even uglier than ever.
One fateful Halloween night she had had enough. Scrolling through Instagram had left her feeling less than everyone on the planet as it was just post after post of hot people in fun costumes, and her barely able to fit into sweats.
“Ugh,” she screamed out. “I would do anything to just be normal!”
“Oh I can do so much better than normal.” A voice came from behind her it made her squeal and jump.
When Heather turned around she saw a man behind her with the most nefarious looking goatee she had ever seen. “Agh!” she screamed. “Darkest Timeline!”
“Ugh. Not that show again.” He had been flooded with Community references ever sense the dice episode had come out, and as the lord of darkness he was tired of it! “Listen, lets just get past this, You want a normal bod, I want a fresh soul, I think we can come to an arrangement, don't you?”
“Fresh soul? Why would you want my soul? It's not like it's incredibly desirable right?”
The Devil, yes that's right it was the devil all along, hunched down and looked at Heather. “Oh dear, don't you understand? Your soul is in here.” He touched her chest. “and it is pure as the fallen snow, but all of this,” he waved his hand about motioning to her appearance, “It's just the wrapping. I can help you get the pretty wrapper, but I get the juicy insides. OK?”
“Will people stop looking at me as if I were a sack of pity?”
“Oh my dear they'll still look at you, but now they will admire you, they will crave you, I'll make you so beautiful they will worship you.” Heather's eyes lit up and that's how he knew he had her. “All you have to do is put your thumb here.” He held out a dusty old contract for her and pointed to a line at the bottom.
Heather should have known better than to just blindly agree to something like this, but it felt just like the Terms of agreement she clicked agree to almost everyday. So she placed her thumb on the line and almost instantly felt a burning on her thumb pad like something had just ripped ductape off her thumbprint. When she removed her thumb she saw a bloodstained thumbprint there, but even more shocking, she felt that burning spreading throughout her hand.
She slapped at her hand and arm trying to swat the tingles away. Soon it was crawling all over her, it burned and itched all over. Then the heavy blows hit, her bones and muscles were shifting. Like years and years of training was ripping through her body in a manner of moments. Her tors popped and crackled as it snapped into place. Her curves pushed and forced their way bigger and more alluring as her whole body singed with hell fire. Eventually she was able to relax and things calmed down, She stood slowly and looked over herself in the mirror.
Heather was H-O-T HOT! And She loved it! “Now,” the devil said, “Your charge. You have exactly one year to collect... Hello?”
But Heather wasn't listening, she was transfixed by the mirror flirting with herself, so enraptured that she may never ever leave. “Easiest soul I've ever collected, See you in a year toots, enjoy your beauty while you can." And with that the Devil was gone and Heather was left to her own devices.