Thanksgiving had been great, but now it was time for Clark's favorite tradition. The elf on a shelf. He loved hiding that thing around the house, terrorizing the children. ?But his wife had been the one to stay up with them all night so she had gotten rid of the creepy little thing.
But Clark still wanted to play, Amazon had a replica on their site, but it was sold out. All the kitschy Christmas shops didn't stock them anymore. Clark was about to give up when he found a little odds and ends shop that looked more like a Halloween place than a Christmas place, but if they had what he was looking for, Clark didn't care.
He stepped in and almost immediately found what he was looking for. It was a tiny little elf doll dressed in red, but this one was a blonde and a lady elf. But it was still perfect. He bought it instantly, the shop keeper tried to talk to him about it but he wasn't listening just thinking about all the ways he could twist and contort the doll into fun little hiding spaces.
That night he had hid it in plain sight in a shelf in the hallway, right under the mirror. He couldn't wait to hear his kids squeals of terror in the morning.
That night Clark had not slept well and got up in the middle of the night to go pee. He stumbled down the hallway and heard a tiny little voice say, “Psst! You there!” He stopped in his tracks. He looked around in the dark for where the voice was coming from. “Down here you doof!” the voice screamed. Clark looked down and saw the little doll standing on it's own. “You didn't listen to the woman did you? She said . . . “ The doll had repeated what the shop keeper told him but again Clark wasn't paying attention, he was still marveling at the doll standing on it's own and looking kind of hot. “...and for that a price must be paid.”
“I'm sorry what?” Clark said as he snapped out of whatever had put him in a trance.
“We're you really not- you know what? Screw it, I'm taking what's mine.” The doll snapped her fingers and it rang throughout Clark's head like a cannon. He grabbed his ears and bent over. His head still ringing as he felt everything tightening around him. The doll giggled.
Clark felt himself getting smaller and the doll seemed to be getting bigger. But that was insane. Her giggles got louder as Clark shrank smaller soon looking ahead at the doll, then up. The Doll filling out the dress better and really shaping up to be an attractive woman. But Clark, poor little Clark, he was getting smaller and smaller more and more doll like as time progressed. The Doll was the size of a human, and a gorgeous one at that. Clark could only look up, he couldn't even move. The doll looked at him now with a bit of a pity almost. “You should have listened. Now you'll be the one squeezed, twisted and contorted into the tiniest of spaces to terrify children. Now I know you have a wife, well, I have a wife now, and we are going to be the hottest lesbian power couple in town. Have fun being the new little elf on a shelf.”