BLOODY MARY.
The daughter-stealing witch who still haunts the public to this day. As we mentioned on the podcast, she has a variety of different origin stories but today we’re going to be focusing on what we covered on the show.When daughters started disappearing in Mary Worth's town, people began suspecting her of kidnapping them.
Why? Well, she went from THIS:
INTO THIS:
Now I’ll admit, I have gotten myself into a LOT of trouble in the past for accusing people of being witches.
Nevermind reverse aging by 50 years, if someone so much as looks a day younger I have my pitchfork in hand, ready to escort them to the furnace.
Now I know what you’re wondering: “Rory, you’re obviously really great at spotting witches, how can we be as good as you?”
Well don’t fear reader, I here’s a couple indicators that should help you identify these Hogwartsy bastards:
HOW TO SPOT A WITCH
Do they drink weird “health” smoothies all the time?Oh, you’re drinking a vegan protein shake with juice and a blended banana? BULLSHIT. That is a straight up 21st century POTION. Burn them asap.
Do they have a strangely athletic child?This child has likely been gifted these abilities by witchcraft. It’s highly likely their Mother is a wtch or their Father is a wizard. Burn them both to be safe. (The child is fine, weirdly strong, but fine.)Are they surprisingly flammable?
Witches burn very easily, that’s why we burn them. If there’s someone in your office you suspect of being a witch try flicking lit matches at their body. If they burn or curse you it’s very likely they’re a witch.DISCLAIMER - Humans also burn but at a much slower rate. If this happens please put them out, apologize, and ask if you can patch things out by bonding this weekend over a witch hunt.
If you’re not a full believer yet, then we have one giant piece of evidence for you -If witches aren’t real, then why does the President of the United States constantly tweet about Witch Hunts:
Case. Closed.
I feel bad for not really linking any of of research material so here’s a couple good links to check out:Want to read more about the story of Mary Worth? - Check it out here
Want to check out an insane video of someone trying out the Bloody Mary challenge? - Check it right right hereFeel brave enough to take on the challenge yourself? Let us know what happens on twitter @thisparalife or on Facebook at our Secret Society!We'll see you next week!R + K