HELL.
Is it real?
How hot is it?
Am I going there after what I did at that wildlife sanctuary?So many questions that we’ll never know the answer to. (except the last one, I’m absolutely going to hell for that.)But what if we COULD get answers to all these questions. Impossible you say? Shut up I say. Because the Gates of Hell are HERE ON EARTH.
That’s right in this weeks episode we talked about the Gates of Hell in Riverdale Colorado, a set of demonic looking gates that are left in ruin after a madman burned down his family mansion.
Warning the following picture is not for the faint of heart…
Okay so maybe they’re not actually as scary as they sound, but it’s what happens AROUND the gates that’s truly terrifying.
First, what do we know about David Wolpert?
He moved into the town following the gold rush
Built a mansion for his family
He went a bit mad…
He burned down the mansion and killed his family (kindo of a dick move)
So we’re faced with our main question…
WHY DID HE DO IT?
Well we came to the conclusion that David had built his house on PARANORMAL SOIL. Similar to Skinwalker Ranch, this was a dangerously spooky plot of land. Let’s go over what creature haunt the Gates of Hell and Riverdale Road:
The Phantom Jogger
This dude was hit by a car while jogging down the road and the driver left him to die. Now his lost soul wanders the street, haunting those who dare to jog down the same road he once did. (This ghost sounds like an asshole, why would he not haunt the drivers?
2. Bloody Handprints
Children are already scary before they’re even dead. They’re small, covered in germs and you never really know what they’re plotting. Worse than that, Riverdale Road has a GHOST CHILD that haunts the street leaving bloody handprints of signposts.
3. Native American Shape Shifters
This one is pretty explanatory. Even if the squirrel is looking cute, picking it up to give it a pet might mean having your soul ripped from your body and dragged into hell. Don’t pet the squirrel. Pet that cute cat over there instead. See? Isn’t that nicer? He’s way- Oh god wait his eyes- HE’S ONE OF THEM. RUN YOU FOOL.
4. Phantom Camaro
The only thing cooler than driving recklessly is being a ghost. That’s why the Phantom camaro might just be the coolest ghost we’ve investigated. This car crashed was back in the 70’s and now the vehicle and it’s driver try and bait other drivers into racing with them, leading to their inevitable death. I mean LOOK AT THIS CAR!
(Actually I couldn’t find any pictures of the Phantom Camaro so here’s an alien grey riding shotgun, or should I say RAY GUN. Hahahaha) (I’m using humor to mask the fact I have very little evidence to support my case)
ALSO
In this weeks episode (for some reason) we also talked about the full cast of the McDonalds universe. If you want to know more about the bizarre history of McDonaldland check out this awesome round up article.
It even includes everyone's favorite part - The lawsuits!
Thanks for joining us on another paranormal adventure!Remember to live fast, investigate and die young.Peace!
R + K <3