i feel guilty that i haven't uploaded here much. i know you guys understand. you're here voluntarily. i love you and appreciate you.
this past month has probably been the hardest month of my life. i've barely drawn. i feel too raw to give details but rest assured that while it's hard, i'm healing, growing, accepting things. to put it shortly and uncharitably to myself [because it's so much more complex than i care to share online]; it's the breakup i went through, moving house alone for the first time, living alone for the first time, my career changing, new relationship challenges, fear, anxiety, grief, solitude. everything, and i mean literally everything in my life was upended. i'm so glad i still have a few things to cling onto; my ability to draw/do freelance, my cat, my possessions, my health. i've had to come to terms with the fact that all the projects that i was doing or starting a few months ago feel like they were started by another person. my art, as my main form of expression, had been put by the wayside while i got by and looked after myself, and now i'm rediscovering it, i don't know what i want to draw right now. my art was so wrapped in my identity, and right now i'm having to build everything--including my identity--from the ground up. give it a few weeks and i might be back to drawing horny comics, lol.
silver linings; i'm sat in my new little office, in the countryside, so close to a forest that i'm practically in it (the spiders here SUCK), with birds chirping outside. there's sunlight coming in past the old black bedsheet that i've hung in place of a curtain for now. it's allowing me to work without glare on my screen. i uploaded above what i'm working on today.
i don't know that i have it in me to finish anything personal right now. i've got a few WIPs that i can post, i hope you guys don't mind seeing unfinished things. i might have some old things that i never posted. i know that it's going to be a while before i'm back into the swing of things, working on my projects again. normality and security feel like very distant concepts, but i'll get there.