Legend of the Snowman-Mancer 12
Euri Lawrence
I shuffled into place between Eula and Lumine. On the other side of Lumine were Kaeya, Amber, Diluc, and several other prominent figures who contributed to the defense of Mondstadt. We were in line, shoulder to shoulder, looking out over the city. Behind us, Venti’s statue and cathedral loomed large, a constant reminder of what we stood for.
It’d been a few days since the Stormterror Affair came to a close. Now, we had to sit through an award ceremony. Funny enough, no one on stage cared much for this ceremony. I could see Amber trying not to nod off. Paimon, sitting on Lumine’s shoulders, had no such compunctions and was happily counting sheep under her breath.
But, like many other such events, it was a message to the masses: The crisis has passed. Peace has returned. The city’s protectors still stood strong.
Up front, Jean waxed poetic about freedom and chivalry and whatnot. She was the picture of sophisticated grace and gallantry, the perfect knight. It would have been very moving, but I knew the truth. She panicked and had Lisa write the speech for her the night prior.
“Really, Euri?” my sister growled under her breath. Her posture and expression didn’t change, the stiff, no-fun-allowed knight that she was, but I could feel her exasperation exuding out from every pore of her being.
“What? I would have been late otherwise,” I told her. Next to us, Paimon giggled like a demented hyena as I fixed my “buttons.”
“At least you would have been present.”
“I am here. I just… also happen to be in bed… with a plate of waffles. Mmm, waffles…”
“You can’t send a snowman to your own reinstatement ceremony,” she hissed like a wet cat.
“It’s not my reinstatement ceremony, sister. This ceremony is meant to celebrate the brave defenders of the city,” I pointed out. I raised a hand to turn up my carrot nose. I was a Lawrence; even my snowmen needed to look snooty. At my feet, a posse of ankle-height snowmen harrumphed dismissively in unison.
“Isn’t it though?” Lumine whispered. “Apparently, Jean’s been holding onto an official pardon signed by Grandmaster Varka for years now. You’re definitely the star of the show here.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. Being a knight is such a drag. You have no idea how happy I am to start traveling. Knights are so stuffy and boring.”
“Ahem,” Eula coughed insistently.
“I know what I said.”
She made to stomp on my toes, only to realize my snowmen didn’t feel pain. She settled for huffing indignantly and swearing vengeance.
Jean finished up her speech and began to call each of us forward. Diluc received an official letter of thanks because he was technically a “concerned citizen” while actual knights received military commendations. It was all so pointless, a whole lot of pageantry for people to gawk at.
Until, finally, it was my turn. She looked at my snowman stand-in, then the mini-snowmen at my feet, and lastly at Eula. I could practically hear the wordless conversation. A rapid-fire sequence of gestures and hand signs only possible thanks to the two best friends’ longstanding relationship.
“Really, Eula?” Jean demanded with her heavyset frown. “You were supposed to bring him!”
“Was I? I was not informed,” my darling twin sniffed haughtily. “I didn’t realize ‘Euri-wrangler’ was my job.”
“You’re his sister! It was implied!”
“Am I my brother’s keeper?”
“In both the practical and religious sense, YES!”
“Well, strictly speaking, he is in fact in attendance.”
“Oh, don’t you start.”
My sister shrugged helplessly before mouthing something I was sure was quite unbefitting of a splendid knight such as herself.
Still, Jean could hardly postpone the ceremony with everyone here. So, glaring death all the while, she gritted out, “And finally, Euri Lawrence, step forward.”
My snowman was as tall as I was, proudly over six feet, but considerably girthier. It had buttons carved from river rocks and a big, carrot nose, the largest I could find from the manor’s pantry. Naturally, it also had a dandy tophat, thrice taller than strictly necessary, as befitting a soon-to-be knight of my stature and reputation.
My snow-posse pulled out instruments of crystal-clear ice, forming a small orchestra. I ordered my snowman to waddle forward. The opening notes of Darth Vader’s “Imperial March” echoed throughout the plaza, synchronizing with every step. “My” snow-white belly jiggled in tandem with the beat like a fluffy marshmallow.
Behind me, Lumine lost it. I heard a bark of disbelieving laughter and a yelp of surprise as she dragged Paimon in front of her face to muffle her demented giggling. Whatever value the pixie had as an emergency food supply, she utterly failed as a soundproofing device.
Jean allowed me my fun with a long-suffering sigh. She couldn’t fool me though; she was trying not to smile.
Now that I thought about it, her sister was always looking for new songs to perform. Barbara, as the first “idol” of Mondstadt, could probably do with more music. Maybe Girl’s Generations? Or IU? I’d probably start a blood feud with the Gunnhildr Clan if I introduced Barbara to the musical stylings of Cardi B and Nicki Minaj. I made a note to go help her out once everything was finished.
As the notes trailed off, Jean continued, “You, Euri Lawrence, were dishonorably discharged from the Knights of Favonius nine years ago. You disrupted the peace, stole from the knights’ armory, and committed heresy before our Archon, Lord Barbatos. You then exiled yourself to the heights of Dragonspine.
“Before your departure, you made a series of predictions: My appointment as the Lionfang Knight. Grandmaster Varka’s expedition. Young Diona’s position at the Cat’s Tail bar. The return of Master Diluc. Each of those predictions came true, culminating in the arrival of a Traveler from a Distant Star… and Stormterror.
“I know not what words you exchanged with him the night before your departure, but Grandmaster Varka believed in you. He believed, before anyone save your sister, that there was more to your words than the ramblings of a madman.”
A tension fell over the crowd as her words sank in. The celebratory mood vanished, replaced by an uneasy silence. Oracles were something of a sensitive subject in the City of Freedom. After all, was true freedom possible in a world guided by destiny?
Then, to everyone’s surprise, Jean reached into her breast pocket and withdrew a signed letter and a familiar badge. With great care, she stuck the pin onto my snowman’s left breast.
“So, he left behind a signed pardon. This was his final guidance for me: Should there ever come a day when your words redeem you, I was to return to you your badge. It is with great joy that I return what is rightfully yours.
“As Acting Grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius, thank you for warning us. Thank you for saving this city,” she said, grinning with a smile that rivaled the sun. “And, as your dear friend, welcome home, Sir Euri Lawrence, Oracle of Dragonspine.”
Jean’s smile was positively radiant. Pride. Joy. The fulfillment of a long-held desire to welcome a friend home.
I smiled, already scheming.
X
I roared with wordless rage as I hurled an expensive vase across the room. It shattered against the far wall, scaring the daylights out of a butler. He shuffled out of the sitting room as quietly as possible.
Tantrums weren’t uncommon at the Lawrence household; my father and uncle were not patient nor understanding people. It was why the butlers and maids had such a high turnover rate here, and why only the desperate ever applied. Hell, not even Noelle wanted to work here.
I had it on good authority that senior members of staff briefed new hires. I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear that they had a full “weather the storm” guide. At this point, they knew to ride it out and return to clean up later.
I paid him no mind and continued to destroy the sitting room. Knives of ice stabbed into the paintings on the walls. Frozen chains lashed out like whips, slashing the upholstery to ribbons. The chandelier became a fused stalactite of ice and shards of glass and splinters of wood littered the floor.
I heard the door creak open. A chakram of ice, sharp enough to shave with, lanced through the air, trimming several hairs off Uncle Schubert’s mustache.
“Watch where you aim, boy,” he snapped. “Some of us aren’t the help.”
I snorted dismissively before leveling him with a frosty glare. He flinched, as I knew he would. Schubert Lawrence was a dog yipping at a tiger, empty bravado and nothing more. “I don’t miss. If you’re still yapping, it’s because I let you.”
“Insolent boy. You’ve forgotten your manners, little more than a savage mountain-man now.”
A chain lashed out, wrapping around his neck. I yanked him close, close enough to graze a frosted dagger that appeared in my hand. A bead of blood trickled down his cheek. “I respect those who are useful, uncle. You would do well to remember that.”
“M-My apologies,” he croaked out, the coward.
I released him, allowing him to stumble back. He massaged his tender throat and sneered, “Hmph. I would have thought you would have been a little more grateful to have been brought in from the cold. What? Are the knights not all they’re reputed to be?”
“No, they’re not,” I said dismissively, a hint of annoyance crawling into my voice. “You think I ever wanted to be in the knights? I’m not Eula.”
“I suppose not, nephew. You’d be at the ceremony if you cared about such meaningless trifles.”
“I left because I couldn’t stand Mondstadt’s hypocrisy. Nine years hasn’t changed my mind. Being a knight was always Eula’s dream, not mine,” I spat. “And what has she received for it? A fancy title with none of the respect she is due. The city claims to value freedom, yet shackles her with our family name.”
“Your sister will never get the respect she is due. The respect we are due. She can play their games of chivalry, but true chivalry is found in nobility, the nobility that comes from the blood and history of our house.”
“Perhaps you are right, uncle. Perhaps… Yes, the old days are returning. Perhaps the Lawrence clan ought to embrace it,” I muttered under my breath, just loud enough for him to hear.
“The old days? What are you on about?”
“There will be another Cataclysm. The days of peace are coming to an end. Stormterror was just the prelude, a prologue to a world-spanning epic.”
“Speak clearly, nephew. Enough of your ‘oracle’ nonsense!”
I laughed. It was a hollow sound. “Oh? Very well then, uncle. I know that you have chosen your side already. I know that you’ve been studying the defenses of Mondstadt to present to the Fatui.”
“You–I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Now, now, don’t look so alarmed. If I wanted you arrested, my dear sister would know about it already.”
“Then you…” I could see the gears in his head turn. “You’ve never idolized the knights, not like Eula.”
“Again, her dream, not mine.”
“Then why help them with Stormterror?”
“I cannot rule over a city of rubble, can I?” I replied with a glib shrug. “Even a king must have a people. Besides, giving the Fatui too much influence over Mondstadt isn’t right, either. If House Lawrence is to rise once more, it will be as the leaders and pioneers of a new age, not puppets to the whims a foreign power.”
“I see… You… You always were smarter than your sister. They say you see the past and future. Tell me then, what is next for our house?”
“Next? Next, I meet with the Fatui. Go. Tell them that the Oracle of Dragonspine has descended. Tell them that I know what their Fair Lady is searching for, and where she might find it.”
“I am no messenger, nephew.”
“You will bear this indignity for me, won’t you, uncle?” I asked with a cold smile. “It is for the redemption of House Lawrence, after all. I must meet with the Harbinger if she is to achieve her aims in Mondstadt.”
He glared at me before turning away. “Very well, nephew. I will reach out to my contacts. How will you ensure that she meets with you?”
“She will. I can see the future, remember?”
“As you wish.”
“Lovely. Let them know that I will meet with the Fair Lady at the Starsnatch Cliff in three days. Of course, I will come alone in good faith. I expect her to do the same. We will negotiate there.”
“That old place… Very well, perhaps the lessons of history are not lost on you.”
So saying, he closed the door. I heard his footsteps echo as he marched away, no doubt to terrorize some poor maid.
Then, once we were truly alone, I heard the stalactite crack. The chandelier crumbled to powdery glass as Durin made himself known.
“Euri?” the little dragon called as he glided down onto my shoulder.
I reached up to scratch his chin. “Yes, my friend?”
“Why did you do that? You love Eula.”
“More than life itself, little dragon. She is my darling little sister.”
“And you love Mondstadt, even if the people are mean sometimes.”
“I do. It is a city of many charms. The people might never accept me, but my dearest friends redeem that place many times over. I told you, didn’t I? I am playing a game of pretend.”
“You are?”
“Yes. it is said that ‘Art is the second soul.’ I have been blessed with many talents in the arts.”
“Is playing pretend an art?”
“Indeed it is, Durin. Acting is perhaps the oldest art of all.”
Author’s Note
If you need a picture of Euri’s snowman, it looks a bit like frigimon from Digimon, but with a carrot nose and a tophat.
Schubert Lawrence is part of Eula’s story quest. In it, he is caught selling Mondstadt’s secrets to the Fatui and arrested.
Animal Fact: Shrews are not rodents, though many of them look like long-nosed mice. Taxonomically, they are actually cousins to hedgehogs and moles.
Oh, and some shrews are venomous.