Legend of the Snowman-Mancer 14
Euri Lawrence
It went without saying, but Signora was among the most powerful opponents I’d ever faced. Certainly, she was the most powerful opponent who was actively gunning for my life.
Her two attendants threw themselves off the cliff like rats fleeing a sinking ship. I didn’t blame them. A person with sufficient training and mana could easily survive a fall from Starsnatch Cliff. Getting caught in a duel between us? That was far less survivable for the average mook.
Our battle began with the ice already present. Cryo energy swirled around us as the sculptures and gazebo came alive. Jagged spikes erupted from the pillars and floor. The ivy decoration lashed out as if it was a living serpent. Even as we moved apart, we wrestled for control over the ice.
Frostbearer appeared in my hand. A wave of Cryo rushed towards me, only for another to rise in direct opposition, the two frozen in the shape of interlocked hands. A frozen stag tried to run me through, but it scattered into icy flower petals the moment it reached me. All around us, the world fell away; the entire gazebo dissolved and expanded into a giant snowstorm.
I split my consciousness, each sliver part of the great fractal of ice that was my mind. My army took form. I'd spent nine years honing this art. Operation: Snowpocalypse quickly stopped being a joke when I had a mind to fight.
Icy sculptures formed from my will. Wolves with hoarfrost fur prowled the area. Three dozen wolves split into four packs, each taking loping strides around us. They vanished in and out of the blizzard, presenting dark shadows against the blistering white.
Knights in thick plate formed ranks, lining up to present a shield wall three rows deep. The first slammed spiked tower shields into the dirt. The second held out long partisans. The third held thinner javelins and began to take aim.
Signora was not idle. Her Delusion of Cryo allowed her to face me in my own element, at least partially. Waves of ice spikes struck the shield wall, only to break without leaving a dent.
When she couldn't breach my phalanx, she let loose bladed rings that flew through the air. Chakrams, probably adopted from her time at the Sumeru Akademiya. They flew in complex patterns that would have been dazzling to behold had they not been aimed for my throat.
My third row of knights loosed their javelins. They struck the rings and exploded with the sound of shattering glass. What they missed, my wolves picked out of the air like dogs catching frisbees.
Every Vision-bearer was different. We all had our own expertise, unique spells and secrets we discovered to manipulate elemental energy. Mine was the splitting of my mind along “fractals,” each as pristine as a fresh snowflake.
This was what really made me the “Snowman-Mancer.” Given some practice, anyone could form ice sculptures. Mine were unique in their ability to store, act upon, and grow archives of memories even as the record of my past life remained frozen in time.
I sometimes thought the Tsaritsa and I had much in common. We both sought to preserve something. That was how I envisioned the essence of Cryo, a rebellion against Time, even if it was ultimately doomed to failure.
As much as Eula called me a genius, in terms of raw quantity of mana we could throw around, Signora was my peer. She shouted in rage, throwing out a tidal wave of ice that overwhelmed the first layer of my knights. They were pierced by hundreds of ice spikes that ripped them limb from limb. Had this been an army of flesh and blood, that blood would have dyed the ground red.
But they’d done their job. My shield-knights scattered into flurries of snow. But rather than disperse into the greater blizzard, the shield-knights’ remnants were drawn back. They merged with the second row of spear-knights and I watched as the knights grew into giants. Their ice plates thickened. Their partisans swept aside the oncoming spikes.
More chakrams spun through the air. With a wave of my hand, they morphed into serpents biting their own tails, blunting what edge they had. The snakes uncoiled and sprouted wings and horns before launching themselves at their mistress like homing javelins.
“You! You think this will be enough to kill me?” she screamed as a whirlwind of ice tore my snakes apart.
“Of course not. Actually, I'd prefer not to kill you, or fight at all, remember? You picked this fight,” I said blithely.
“Then drop the Gnosis, oracle!”
“How about you leave and I don’t have to keep embarrassing you?”
The remnants of my snakes became dozens of sparrows with beaks that spun like drills. When she shattered those, they became ninja stars that flew in formation. Shuriken became bees, bees became needles, all in individually smaller, but ever-larger swarms.
Four packs of wolves lunged after her. Three circled her at all times, nipping at her flanks and keeping her locked down. The fourth watched her two attendants, as much for their safety in case they decided to get brave as to keep them from running for reinforcements.
All the while, my knights repaired themselves. They formed ranks, dividing themselves into squads that Grandmaster Varka beat into my head during my training days. Just when she finally obliterated my swarm, she was confronted by a full knight platoon, squads surrounding siege scorpions.
Life wasn’t a tabletop RPG, but “action economy” was absolutely a thing. Signora could match me in power, but that didn’t matter when fractals of my consciousness could cast ten spells each time she uttered one.
This was where I shined. A battle between two Cryo users was a battle of constructs, creativity, refinement, and technique. In every other metric save raw power, I had Signora beat by a country mile.
Maybe it was because she had an inflexible mindset, or because her Delusion didn’t allow for it, but I found her to be a rather one-dimensional opponent. Not weak, no Harbinger could be considered weak, but rigid, and so somewhat predictable.
The scorpion bolts, each as thick as tree trunks, launched themselves on my mental signal. She formed a hasty cocoon of ice. It was more than enough to withstand my bolts, and so dense with her mana that I couldn’t usurp control over it.
From within, I felt something else begin to stir. Pyro, her original element. It seemed I’d reached the second stage of her little boss fight. I scattered into snowflakes and allowed the wind to push me away. I didn’t want to be anywhere near Signora when she blew up.
The explosion came like a volcanic eruption. It was a fire that would have turned Tenshukaku into a smoldering wasteland without a video game’s internal logic. As I flew away on the back of a four-winged sparrow, I saw Starsnatch Cliff ignite like a lighthouse atop a hill.
She unveiled herself like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. Superheated steam cloaked her form, covering her in a shimmering heat haze. That was good; Cryo and Pyro didn’t play nice with one another. I doubted I’d have to deal with both elements simultaneously.
“You… To think you could push me this far,” Signora said. Apparently, “not a game” didn’t mean I’d be spared the cliche boss fight dialogue. “I underestimated you, Euri Lawrence.”
“Eh? I was getting a little bored of your ice magic, if I’m being honest,” I said with a dismissive smirk I knew would get under her skin. “Pyro’s your original element, right? Please tell me you’re more creative with that than Cryo.”
“You arrogant fool!”
I didn’t get to respond. An enormous column of flame, wide enough to cover an entire wagon, blasted towards me. Some people didn’t have an appreciation for good banter.
My sparrow rose higher into the air. It was one of a handful of unique designs that deviated from the norm. The cross-winged design allowed for faster speed, more maneuverability, the ability to fly backwards like a dragonfly, and even decreased the turbulence I experienced on its back. It was nowhere near as fantastic as Durin of course, but I was quite proud of it.
In fact, I’d come up with the design while consulting Lisa and the Favonius Library during my occasional trips down the mountain. I was a sculptor who could make anything at all, but I was no aeronautics engineer. For that, I needed the former Akademiya librarian’s expertise.
Now that I thought about it, some of the books I found in the library were placed a bit too conveniently. Lisa was brilliant, but even she didn’t know everything, especially when it came to esoteric subjects such as the transfiguration of souls. I highly suspected that a certain dodoco enthusiast had been helping me along.
I made a note to restock my candy supply. Treating her daughter well could only be a good thing. Perhaps after this, a prison break was in order.
Whatever demented ritual Rosalyne had done to turn herself into a pseudo-fire elemental let her produce fire that was more than hot enough to instantly vaporize most ice constructs. Her Cryo Delusion was likely given to her to help her restrain her power, an anime-esque limiter over flames that had literally become a part of her.
Now that she’d removed this limiter, I ran like a bitch. My knights, wolves, and swarm became a cloud of superheated steam that masked her from view. Even flying near her was dangerous like this; the steam would scald the flesh from my bones.
Cryo energy formed in my hands. It condensed into a block of ice before smoothing out into the shape of a bulky body. From it extended six, thin barrels, each held in place relative to the others.
A minigun. I made a vehicle-mounted minigun, because people who said we Knights of Favonius were technologically backwards could eat a bag of dicks. Jean rejected the deployment of military-grade firearms in Mondstadt because the knights there were largely meant to be peacekeepers. We knew how firearms worked, thank you very much.
I went down for a strafing run. Thousands of “bullets,” icicles the size of a finger joint, rained down on Signora. I couldn’t see her in the steamy haze, but that didn’t matter. She glowed like a bonfire and I could use that to guess her location.
I heard a shriek of pain and rage, which meant I’d at least partially hit my mark. Unfortunately, I had to pull up rapidly to prevent my cross-wing sparrow from melting. I felt like I’d gotten into a snowball fight with a volcano.
Her counterattack began in earnest with a flock of butterflies. They were a lot scarier than I remembered them being in the game. Faster, for one, with that unique, dance-like swaying that butterflies were known for. Their flight patterns made them hard to predict, especially in the cloud of steam. I had to rise even higher just to get more time to fend them off.
The hail of bullets from my minigun took care of most of them. I reached out to take the water vapor and mold something new, but failed. The heat was too intense so close to her butterflies. I might have been able to do something had my element been Hydro, but Cryo was just a little too conceptually opposed to her flames.
I dove back down, not at Signora, but down below the cliff. Gouts of flames chased me, but I wove between them. All the while, a truly monstrous amount of Cryo energy gathered in my hands. Like snow being packed into a snowman, the fractals of my split consciousness came together to create something grand.
I touched the sea, and the sea exploded. The cool water rose into the air, forming a swarm of wyvern, each twice the size of a horse. They were no Durin, but they’d do just fine for what I had in mind. I considered summoning my dragon familiar, but thought better of it. I was trying to humble the dumb bitch, not redraw the coastline.
The initial steamcloud was starting to fade now. I could see the enraged Harbinger towering over the cliff. She swept out an elegant hand. Halfway through the swing, a whip of flame formed. It sang through the air, making the air crack with its passage.
“Stay still, coward!” she roared in frustration.
“Hahahaha!” I laughed in delight as I made my wyvern army dodge around the whip.
It’d been so long since I’d fought someone. There were powerful monsters in Dragonspine, but none could think or strategize. They certainly didn’t have the experience of five centuries.
Truthfully, this was the first time I’d fought a life or death duel against a peer. I felt a sense of gratitude towards her alongside the pity and scorn. The spells and constructs I’d honed against monsters in Dragonspine were being refined here.
Then, she miscalculated. She lost track of one of my wyvern. It plummeted onto the ground nearby and I forced more of my mana into it. It quickly lost its wings. Its smooth, aerodynamic scales became bumpy and callous. The lithe body of the sky-lizard condensed until I soon had a triceratops, three horns gleaming in the light.
With a thought, I ordered it to charge. Signora was focused on my harrying wyvern. She didn’t notice my dinosaur ice sculpture until she could feel the ground rumble. But by then, it was already upon her.
“You won’t kill me!” she shouted.
Around her, a tornado of fire spiraled into the sky. I knew little of fire magic, but it couldn’t have been cheap to cast.
I poured mana into my triceratops in response. Even as I reinforced its durability to the limit, I could feel the construct start to destabilize. The perfect, bumpy detail of its hide smoothed out. Its neck crest began to droop. Even its horns began to blunt in the heat.
Yet, this was enough. Eight tons of lumpy, triceratops-shaped ice was honestly almost as good as eight tons of perfect, triceratops-shaped ice. At the end of the day, fuck-you weight was fuck-you weight. She yelped in surprise and pain as my melty dino flung her into the air.
The horns, somewhat blunt from the heat, still ripped through her dress and flesh. Even as bones crunched under the force, liquid fire sprayed out in scathing arcs that drew deep furrows into my beast.
I didn’t let the opportunity go to waste. I leapt from my sparrow. Frostbearer warped in my hand. Ancient boughs steeped in Cryo and Durin’s blood grew and twisted. Crystals of ice formed along the edge, until I had a giant, single-edged claymore in my hands.
“Euri–!” she began to shout. But that was as far as she got before my blade opened her torso, from collar to hip.
Crimson blood splashed over me. I felt myself burn as liquid fire ate away at my magic. Rosalyne was originally a scholar and researcher. Really, I couldn’t help but wonder how strong this ritual might have been in the hands of someone more martially inclined.
Still, I’d done my job. I hadn’t dived down to close quarters just so I could finish things “with sword in hand” or anything like that. Such romantic sentiments were more Eula’s territory.
No, I wanted to take her in alive. If I didn’t, the Fatui would simply use that as an excuse to meddle in Mondstadt further. There was no way I could do that from afar. As it was, overwhelming her Pyro was already a challenge. I’d have to pay Barbara a visit, later.
Signora fell unconscious from blood loss. My ice overtook her body, rapidly cooling her blood. Now came the hard part, making sure she didn’t die while also keeping her from recovering her strength. This was purely theoretical, but I at least knew the principle of what I was attempting.
Once again, my grand project to reincarnate Durin was to thank for this. Rhinedottor had formed him out of abyssal energy. I’d remade him using Cryo and Anemo. Elemental energy was the natural energy of Teyvat. In turn, abyssal energy was the energy found in the space between worlds. That didn’t make it evil per se, but it did mean the two were diametrically opposed.
Yet, making them work together wasn’t impossible, just freakishly difficult. There were other examples of people who did something like this, the Knave being the most notable. I’d succeeded against all odds, creating a creature who was born of both Cryo and Abyss. In doing so, I gained the ability to manipulate this unique type of ice magic. Felfrost, I’d decided to call it.
Elemental energy could be used to heal. Ice was primarily good for preservation. Abyss was a direct opposite and counter to elemental energy. So, in theory, I could use Felfrost to both preserve Signora in this weakened state, and its abyssal properties to seal her power before she could fully regenerate. In essence, it was a sort of controlled abyssal corruption.
I worked to heal and stabilize her. Ice crawled up her form, sealing her in a cocoon. It was my equivalent of a medically induced coma. I’d free her head so she could bitch me out when she healed up a bit. I’d had some time to think about what to do with her and I had the beginnings of a plan.
Well, Jean would probably be rather upset with me, but that was okay. Giving her gray hairs before she was thirty was also a worthy achievement. I couldn’t let Grandmaster Varka take the lead in this if I wanted to surpass him one day.
And, as Eula said, Grandmaster Varka was a man worth striving towards. He was the epitome of knighthood, the greatest example of chivalry, honor, and martial prowess. How could it be my fault if I chose to emulate his greatness?
So really, if anyone asked, this was all my twin’s fault.
Once I finished, I tracked down the two cicin mages Signora had shown up with. They seemed weirdly convinced that I was going to kill them. One even wet herself with relief when I agreed to let them go.
I had no idea what could have given them this idea. It wasn’t as if I’d snowboarded across the sky towards them while using their frozen mistress’ “corpse” as the board or anything.
No matter. I sent them off to report to their superiors with a wide grin on my face.
Seeing how they were people Signora trusted at a private meeting, they likely didn’t have any other direct superiors in Mondstadt. Which meant they’d need to send a letter to Snezhnaya directly, or seek out the nearest Harbinger. Which meant they were likely off to Liyue. That worked out well for me.
Author’s Note
It’s a running joke that Mondstadt (and Liyue) are in the middle ages while Fontaine has mecha. Quirks of game development aside, my in-story headcanon is that Mondstadt doesn’t see the need to deploy guns in their home city.
It’s the same conversation about US police departments getting military surplus weapons for their SWAT teams. If anything, Fontaine’s use of mecha with literal missiles is what should be raising eyebrows. Which I suppose means that in Teyvat, the French are actually the Yanks.
Animal Fact: The giant Galapagos tortoise is the largest tortoise in the world, weighing in at 550 lb max. For context, male grizzlies can weigh 600 lb tops. That is a very chonky tortoise.
However, this is nothing compared to the leatherback sea turtle, which can weigh up to 1,000 lb. This weight, and their agility, is mostly possible thanks to the saltwater.