Chapter 55: I used to battle stag beetles as a kid. No joke, just nostalgia.
Blake IsleySaturday, February 19, 2011Type: Bug
‘Blake. Blake. Blakkeee… Wake up! Blake Montgomery Isley!’
I opened my eyes to the screeching sound of flying rodents. I pressed my pillow into my face, then remembered that I couldn’t even do that because said flying rodent was in my soul.
I stared blankly up at the bottom of the bunk bed above me. I needed a moment to process the jarring shift to wakefulness. Life was truly unfair.
‘Ah, Lady Cresselia, how your cruel sister tears me from your blessed embrace,’ I bemoaned my misfortune. ‘If you be just and merciful, please smite her with a nightmare in which all macarons in the world are replaced by Oreos filled with toothpaste.’
‘She’s more like a distant cousin,’ Victini huffed in amusement. ‘And we’re about the same in power. And she’s not even the Legend of Nightmares. That’s Darkrai, so you’re not even praying to the right Legend.’
‘See? This is what poor sleep gets you. Clearly, I’ve gotten stupider. You should let me go back to sleep.’
‘Oh? So you don’t want to hear from your old team? And after I did all that work, too. Do you know how muggy Hoenn is compared to Unova?’
That got me to bolt up straight. ‘Wait, that’s right. You met Titania? How is she?’
‘Relax, Blake. She’s doing fine, probably better than you, actually. That poor girl. Do you have any idea how much stress you and Luca were putting on her?’ Victini replied with a giggle. ‘Compared to that, running a fae court in Petalburg Forest is practically a long vacation.’
‘Excuse me? You act like I tried to get involved with world-ending calamities every month,’ I said, somewhat defensively. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to wash my face. ‘If anything, any excess stress is your fault.’
‘Oho, me?’
‘Not you specifically. Your extended family in general. You’re the ones who keep waking up grumpy and demanding. You’re like Greek gods, except without the incest.’
‘Maybe my siblings wouldn’t feel the need to smite you squishy humies if you’d stop getting too big for your britches.’
‘Okay, fair, but that’s a very small number of idiots proportional to the League’s roster.’
‘You humans keep giving idiots power. Although, things did calm down somewhat after you went belly-up.’
‘“Belly-up?” Really?’
‘Yup, like goldeen.’
‘I’m glad you think so highly of me,’ I replied dryly. I quickly dressed and got ready for my morning run. ‘Anyway, Titania? What’s she been up to? How about the rest of my team?’
‘She was thrilled to hear you were still around, even if you’re not quite the same “Blake.” When you bought time for Selene and Elio against Necrozma, she thought she’d never see you again.’
‘I didn’t think I’d survive that, either. By every normal metric, I didn’t.’
‘Yeah… Hey, did you know she has kids now?’
‘For real? I guess it’s been seventeen years since I got myself and Blitz killed. Any chance that–’
‘Your scizor is gone,’ she cut me off gently. ‘He’s a pokemon. His soul passed through the Distortion, like it’s supposed to.’
‘I… Maybe that’s for the best. Not every adventure has a happy ending,’ I said with a rueful smile. I knew that better than most. I began a leisurely pace towards my hideout.
I found Blitz near Eterna City, back early in our journey. For a long time, he was the “swordsman” archetype in our little family. He’d been so accustomed to his bladework that evolving had been a difficult choice for him. When he evolved, he had to change up his entire fighting style. I remembered Luca and I spent weeks coaching him through the fine art of brawling.
He was also the most affectionate scizor I’d ever known. Most of those guys tended to be so taciturn even when they weren’t actively hostile. It was like the entire species had “edgelord” baked into their genes as well as their forearms.
It had led to some hilarious moments when he was a scyther. When people saw a massive bug with scythes for arms blitzing towards them with a toothy grin, their first impression wasn’t “Aww, he wants a hug.” It was more along the lines of “Holy shit-fuck, I’m going to die!”
‘Is that how he got his name?’ Victini asked, chortling as I shared the memory of Gardenia’s panic-stricken face. Another person who was probably old now.
‘Yeah. He was great. He wanted to return to Sinnoh one day, act as a mediator between humans and pokemon living in Eterna Forest.’
‘I can tell. He would have made for a great leader.’
‘How are the rest of them?’
‘She said she’d send word to everyone else and keep an eye out for Hoopa. If anyone can reunite you guys, it’s him.’
‘We’ll have to think about a way to pay him off. Or maybe not? He’s always loved pranks and I can’t imagine a bigger one than letting pokemon cross over to this world.’
‘Hehe, yeah… He’s going to have a field day. And maybe get put back in time-out by dad. Speaking of other Legends, I found Raikou again. Have you mastered Aura Sphere?’
I ducked behind someone’s HVAC unit. My hand glowed as a palm-sized, blue marble formed. ‘Yup. Can I use his form?’
‘Huh… You’re pretty fast. Then again, I guess you’ve walked this road before.’
‘Like riding a bike. You know, with more explosions.’
‘Good for you, Blake,’ she said. Waves of sincerity washed over me through our bond. ‘And yeah, you can. Your soul needs to calibrate though. Wait for your next electric type shift, then try it. Otherwise, trying to take on a Legend’s power without dad’s blessing to do the heavy-lifting won’t end well.’
‘Fair enough, I’ll wait,’ I said. That was disappointing, but I was more concerned with how my old friends were doing.
‘Also, you should expect more Legends to visit you now, either in your mind like this or in your dreams. Raikou wanders more than I do and he’s bound to spread the word about a whole new world. Fair warning, they’ll probably want summoning contracts rather than loaning you their forms.’
‘I’m looking forward to it. But please, back to my team. Tell me what they’ve been up to.’
‘Alright, but keep in mind that I only heard from Titania so this is all second-hand. For starters, she’s got kids, grandkids, even. They’re all grown up now. She even sometimes lets a few ralts wander to find trainers of their own.’
‘Really? I would have thought she’d be the overprotective type.’
‘She is. Apparently, all her children know quite the arsenal of moves before they even leave the forest.’
‘Ah, that sounds like her.’ I chuckled at the thought. Knowing her, she’d prepare every ralts to frankly unfair degrees. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear more than one Ever Grande Conference victor had a gardevoir on their team since my era.
‘Petalburg Forest hasn’t had a rampaging slaking or snorlax since her arrival. She’s also got a great working relationship with the local rangers.’
‘That’s good. She’s a real fae queen now. What about Luca? Where is he?’
‘He’s in Sinnoh. He splits his time between a dojo in Veilstone City and the Victory Road. Apparently, he’s become something of an unofficial final challenge.’
‘Conference participants shouldn't be much of a challenge to him,’ I pointed out. There was a sizable gap in ability between a conference-goer and a Champion-class starter. ‘I can’t imagine anyone making it to the actual conference if he camps Victory Road.’
‘He only battles when people challenge him. And actually, he’s lost a handful of times over the years. He can’t use the mega stone anymore, remember? And he’s fighting six-on-one.”
‘Ah, that’s fair. I guess age is catching up to him a bit.’
‘Yup. He’s still a monster, though. Beating him is considered a huge badge of honor. Oh, did you know Cynthia is still Champion?’
‘I didn’t, but it doesn’t surprise me. Her ace is a garchomp and dragons have notoriously long lives.’
Victini chuckled as she floated a memory packet of a newspaper article. Cynthia Shirona had certainly aged gracefully. Now in her mid-forties, she was as dignified as ever. If anything, the streaks of gray in her golden locks only made her seem even more regal. Not just a titan of undisputed might, but one tempered by wisdom.
Around her was her team. Her garchomp had only grown larger, so much so that she had to stoop just to fit into the photo. Her spiritomb clad her in myriad shadows, even larger and deeper than I remembered. Her lucario, hints of gray on his muzzle, stood confidently at her side.
The other three were new. There was a mamoswine that looked familiar but hadn’t been part of her team, a hisuian arcanine, and a hisuian lilligant. They were strong, though perhaps not quite up to the same standard as the three eldest members of her team.
‘Regis, your tyrantrum, also went to Sinnoh,’ Victini said softly. ‘Titania doesn’t know where, though. She said he went into the Sinnoh wilds and vanished.’
‘If anyone can find him, it’d be Luca.’
‘That was her suggestion as well.’
‘And Marsh?’
‘She’s doing the same thing as Luca in Alola.’
‘They have a league now?’ I asked, jogging to a stop in my surprise.
‘Apparently? I’ve never been. Titania says the Alola League’s Victory Road is on Mount Lanakila. Marsh came to an agreement with the local ninetales and settled in a cave she liked. Climbing the mountain without bothering either the ninetales or the overpowered ursaluna is now part of the challenge.’
‘Ah, that sounds like her. The humans know whose team she was part of, right?’
‘Given Elio is Champion? Yeah, they do. They respect her way too much to kick her out.’
‘They’d better.’ That was five. That left one, the one I was most concerned about. ‘And… And Eos? How is she?’
‘Eos, the Wandering Sun, the leagues call her,’ Victini began with a bittersweet laugh. ‘She’s like you, you know. Well, I guess that’d be obvious. You did raise her, after all.’
‘Yeah, she was everyone’s baby sister. Did you know? Titania and I taught her to write using Psychic to control little wisps in the air.’
‘She’s putting that to good use. Last Titania heard, she’s been flying around the world, rescuing wild pokemon from poachers. A regular hero, just like dear ol’ dad.’
‘Nosy. You mean we’re both nosy people who can’t leave well enough alone. Guess she’s been everywhere by now.’
‘Except Alola. She never returned. Titania says she never forgave the Aether Foundation. She blames them for your deaths, you and Blitz.
I let out a heavy sigh. ‘I feared that’d be the case. Volcarona live for a long time and adventuring with my team was the defining experience of her formative years.’
‘And she lost both her father figure and a big brother. She watched you get atomized by an angry star-dragon as the human equivalent of a child. No wonder she never forgave Aether.’
‘She didn’t do anything terrible, did she?’
‘She went on quite the rampage for a while, burned some famous poacher and her salamence to ash. You taught her well,’ she consoled. ‘She knew how to pick her targets at least, no matter how enraged she was.’
‘Please find her, Victini. Let her know that I’m… I’m doing okay.’
‘I will,’ she promised. ‘She’s mellowed out a little bit, but still… A champion-class volcarona isn’t any human’s idea of a fun opponent. I think most of the leagues have standing orders to leave her alone now.’
‘That’s probably for the best.’
‘Chin up, Blake. You might see them soon, if we can find Hoopa. That’s something to look forward to.’
‘It is. Thanks, Victini.’
I finished my run back at the orphanage. I grabbed a quick shower and headed to the animal clinic for my morning shift. Stacy said a rabbit gave birth and needed extra care and someone managed to turn in a rare bird that they found with a broken wing in their backyard.
X
After my shift, I found myself back at the old ferry station. On the way, I extracted a promise from Victini to remain with me until the Simurgh attack. That, along with Somer’s Rock, was the sum total of my preparations finished. I’d have Lisa reach out to various parties, or maybe use Citrine to do it. I would have gone to Faultline, but she wasn’t in town at the moment.
I got halfway dressed into my armor, took one sniff, then changed back. Somewhere along the way, I’d put aside washing it and now it smelled too ripe for even a seasoned camper like me to wear. The outer plates were fine, easily cleaned with a few Water Guns as masquerain, but the underlayer was a bit much.
Which was how I found myself strolling into a laundromat, a thick bag of silk slung behind me. I was currently a heracross, one of the few bug types with articulate fingers. It was the simplest way to maintain my secret identity.
I made for quite the sight. Heracross were big insects. As a rule, they stood about five feet tall. But like with many other species, pokemon professors did not count the horns as part of that height. Said horns could be over half again the height of the insect.
They were also absurdly strong. Heracross were, pound-for-pound, some of the strongest pokemon in Indigo. They could easily launch a hundredfold their weight, well over five tons, hurtling through the air. It was a number most people had trouble wrapping their heads around, at least until they saw one yeet a snorlax across the battlefield. At last count, six separate Indigo Champions claimed one on their main teams.
There was even an old story of a daimyo who was being sieged by his enemy. In lieu of conventional defensive encampments, which took too much room on the walls, he beseeched the local heracross for aid. The siege broke in less than a week when his enemy was crushed by a rock four cho, over four hundred meters, beyond the expected range of return fire.
The story went that the daimyo honored the heracross by redesigning his helmet with a flourishing, horned crest right in the middle of the forehead. That stylistic choice caught on, eventually becoming the crests commonly found on samurai helms. Or at least, that was what the museum guide at Ecruteak City told me; he’d been a fantastic storyteller.
“Here, you can exchange bills for quarters, right?” I asked the laundromat clerk with a winning smile.
“Uh… Menagerie?” he blinked in momentary confusion. Then, proving that Brocktonites were just built different, he nodded and took my money. “Of course, I guess even a hero needs to do laundry.”
“That’s right. Say, got anything sweet while I wait?”
“There’s a vending machine behind you and a grocery store a block away if you don’t like anything there.”
“Thanks, bud. Can you make sure no one messes with my armor?”
“You got it.”
Tipping my hat, I loaded my laundry and headed back out. Five minutes later, I returned with a teddy bear-shaped jar of honey, as large as the grocery store had, and one of those bendy straws. If heracross had one thing in common with regular rhinoceros beetles, it was their love of sweets.
That was how I spent my afternoon. I sat on a bench in the laundromat, sipping on a five pound jar of honey. When I ran out, I went out into the street and challenged the first burly-looking man I saw to an arm-wrestling match.
That turned into his buddies dogpiling me, then me pulling his truck. Eventually, I began a whole strongman routine, all for the tip jar I laid out. I managed to wrangle a few more jars of honey from passing gawkers.
Standards. I had them.
X
After manhandling random strangers for money, I headed to the hospital for a short stint touring the ICU. I visited on Wednesday, but it felt like it’d been much longer.
The hospital had changed. As always, there was a constant thrum of urgency, but it wasn’t quite so oppressive anymore. People came in for one reason or another–a car crash, two idiots fighting over a girl, some moron doing something unwise on a dirtbike–and they were seen to by the staff.
This was how things ought to be, I felt. In the hours I’d been here, not one person came in with a bullet or knife wound. No one whispered anxiously about gang violence. For Brockton Bay, this was about as festive as things got. I hoped I could make this last.
I did a little wiggle, shaking a cloud of pollen onto a big fruit bowl in the lounge. I was a ribombee at the moment, just about the cutesiest bug type available. At just eight inches from head to abdomen, I weighed a dainty one pound. It was a little hard to believe that this was a fully evolved pokemon, and one that could pack quite the wallop.
A ribombee could generate pollen, which made no sense given pollen was plant matter, but that was pokemon for you. More importantly, its pollen had restorative properties. It could relieve pain, stop bleeding, disinfect wounds, promote natural healing, and even reduce scar tissue. It was more effective on pokemon, but humans could benefit from it.
I heard the door open. Amy Dallon had arrived, and she looked about as happy as any teenager to be called to the hospital on a Saturday afternoon. “You know, you look ridiculous like this.”
I wiggled some more, generating more pollen. The bowl was almost full and I made little pollen angels in the pile. “Hello to you too, Amy. What’s up?”
“You. You’re making drugs and the doctors wanted me to check it out.”
“Yeah, I started dosing people with injuries. Things were going fine until one dude turned out to be allergic to pollen.”
“Dumbass. That’s why we test shit,” she said with a put upon sigh. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, a quick Heal Pulse fixed him right up. They want to know more before they use this stuff though, and I figured leaving them with a huge stockpile could help.”
“What are you, anyway?”
“Ribombee, the bee fly pokemon,” I said happily. I held out a tiny hand for her to touch. “Their pollen has restorative properties and were used by Alolan natives in traditional medicines for hundreds of years. It’s still a common ingredient in restoratives and a lot of rangers in Alola have ribombee on their teams to act as field medics.”
“Uh-huh. That’s nice,” Amy muttered, but she wasn’t listening. She’d zoned out in favor of marveling at my biology, again. “You’re… very compact.”
“Yes, I’m small and cute. That’s another reason ribombee are so popular. Now, touch the pollen and write your observations.”
“Right, one sec.”
We kept this up for a little while longer. Amy had a surprising amount to write and had several questions for me about its uses. For example, the pollen was an allergen, but could otherwise be consumed by people for a nutritional boost. However, consuming too much could kill the gut bacteria in a person’s intestines, which would cause problems on its own.
While she did that, I filled a second and third bowl with pollen. Amy’s recommended dose was less than ten milligrams, just to be safe. That way, if there was an unreported allergic reaction while we weren’t around, it wouldn’t be too severe.
I slung an arm around her shoulders as we headed out. She tried to subtly squirm away, but I pulled her close.
“Oh, disciple-mine, have you been practicing?” I asked, voice saccharine.
“Yes…?” she coughed awkwardly.
“You’re a terrible liar. I told you that you should be meditating every day.”
“But my bed is comfy… I fall asleep when I try.”
“Do it in the morning. Or on the floor. I’ll drag you out for my workouts if you don’t do it on your own, you know.”
“Fine, I get it.”
“In fact, let’s go exercise right now,” I said with an audible smile.
“There’s no need for that,” Amy said hastily. “I’m sure you’ve got other, more important things to do.”
“Nay! What is more important than spending time with my girlfriend?"
“I’m breaking up with you.”
“Okay, fair enough, that joke’s kinda run its course. But still, exercise!”
“No! And you can’t make me! I… I have plans! With Victoria!”
“I’ll give her a call. I’m sure she’d be thrilled to join us. Yes, we can bring Dean as well. We shall rejoice in the springtime of our youth!”
“Really? ‘Springtime of youth?’ Was that a Naruto reference?”
“You watch Naruto? I thought that was an Aleph import.”
“Read. Because I’m not a fucking plebian,” she said with a disdainful sniff. “Only real fans read manga.”
“Oof, you and my roommate would not get along.”
“That’s okay. I don’t get along with lots of people. Like Dean. Or my patients. Or people who make me exercise. Hint hint.”
I was about to reply, but was interrupted by my phone. Pulling it out, I frowned. “Quinn Calle? Huh, wonder what he wants.”
“And thus, I know thy grace is true, oh holiest of alpacas,” Amy muttered, making an exaggerated praying gesture towards the heavens. “Go do your lawyer-stuff and leave me alone.”
“Fine, but take your training seriously, Amy. Don’t you want to put muscle on those noodly arms?”
“My noodly arms work just fine for what they’re meant to do. Function over form, bitch.”
Rolling my eyes, I waved goodbye and took the call. “Quinn? It’s me. Is there a problem?”
“Hello, Menagerie,” he greeted, “and no, there is no problem. I did want to talk to you, however. Do you have time today for dinner?”
I watched Amy’s retreating back. As if sensing my gaze, she turned around and flipped me the bird. “Seeing how my appointment just ran away, yes, I believe I do.”
“Excellent. How do you feel about Thai food?”
“That suits me fine, thanks.”
X
I met the lawyer in a Thai restaurant two blocks away from the Boardwalk. It had a series of plaques on the wall showing it was “Brockton’s #1 ethnic cuisine” according to Brockton’s Best Magazine. I’d never heard of it, but it certainly sounded impressive enough.
Quinn was as well-dressed as ever, this time with a navy-blue suit and a sharp, silver tie. He looked so natural in that getup that I wondered if the man owned any other kind of outfit. For all I knew, he was born in a suit and tie.
“Menagerie, thank you for meeting me,” he said, “I know this was on short notice.”
“Is something the matter?”
“No, I just have to catch the train tomorrow to make it to a client meeting in New Haven and I do like to conduct business face-to-face.”
We talked as we ate. He informed me that he’d set up a limited liability company, The Alpaca Group, as per my instructions. It wasn’t a very creative name, but that was probably for the best. He had me sign a few forms and gave me a card, which he assured me had some of the royalties promised by Dragon. That was my money troubles solved.
We also talked about my charitable givings, which Dragon agreed to match. He was to take a portion of the revenue and put it into the nonprofits I’d listed in my Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game. After all, I’d already vetted those organizations to my satisfaction. And if the Egg House got a consistent income because of it, all the better.
All in all, it was a largely painless meeting. I was grateful. With the Simurgh looming on the horizon, I didn’t have much mental bandwidth for anything else.
Author’s Note
There. You wanted an overview of what happened to Blake’s team. They moved on, as anyone should in seventeen years.
Insert your favorite way for Amy and Blake to publicly break up, lol.
Animal Fact: Manatees can range as far north as Cape Cod. In 2009, Andy Garrett, manatee rescue coordinator (which is a cool-ass title) at the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, airlifted a manatee from the Jersey Shore down to Florida because he and his team weren't sure it would be able to reach warmer waters fast enough to outpace the winter.
This range is especially strange because despite appearances, manatees don't have blubber like a whale's. They need temperate waters to stay warm and most seek warmer temperatures if the water falls below ~sixty-eight degrees.