AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH~♪ - that kendrick guy is pretty good
I wanted to supplement today's 10F progress report with more of a personal one in case the original seemed scanty. (Scroll down if you missed the actual 10F report posted today)
Fair warning there's no secret content insights or additional previews -- just rambling about my mental issues. The purpose is mostly so my "real fans" can have a bit more context for my general affect if they care (again, I assume anyone subscribed here is already subscribed to Bo and follows the project -- including all my fuckups -- pretty closely).
Since my diagnosis the most frustrating thing (aside from the general paralyzing existential nightmare and tangible consequences of getting so little done day after day after week after month after year) is the general sense of not being on the same page as other people.
This isn't always a bad thing: it's become pretty clear that the attribute of my works which people value and find unique comes in part from an exhaustive drive to conceptualize.
I need medication and a lot of mental effort not to end up pacing around the kitchen having an imaginary conversation for an hour when I get a cup of coffee, which sucks.
On the other hand, most other people (apparently) can't just see a CG and have the entire dialogue, ero pacing, fx cues, and story scaffolding just naturally materialize. That's both fun personally and quite profitable since people seem to like what I come up with.
On the other other hand, some of my oldest real life friends were chatting on our Slack yesterday about making a tiny micro-game together just for fun, but cheekily warning about their own ADHD and history of unfinished projects.
This reminded me that most people with issues similar to mine still maintain conventional employment and seemingly wholesome, holistic lives; now I don't know how to "decline" without sounding spiteful or trying to win the disorder-Olympics.
I'm trying to be very delicate with how I talk about 10F for similar reasons, so I'll list some good things now (in no particular or chronological order):
Fvlaenix helped me set up a new IDE (RubyMine) so I can code more easily. It's helped a lot and I wish I could have had it from the start (or at least since I started doing scenes in code).
I moved from a weird pseudo-desk battle-station in the dining room to building one for my bedroom. I also installed some monitor mounts so I can be more flexible with my posture/monitor position/etc. I know everyone says this is a terrible idea and that you should only sleep in your bedroom but it's much better for me.
I switched my medication from IR to XR, which has been good since the curve is much smoother. The IR since my original diagnosis may have done more harm than good since I felt "right" for only brief periods, and otherwise too hyper or depressed, but at least we got the original 7F out of it.
I'm not going to list every qol/ergo adjustment but hopefully you get the point that I've been iterating my workspace and lifestyle to insulate myself against distraction/anxiety/etc. It doesn't always work but in aggregate things have been getting better.
This is the "real" progress report because my actual goal is to achieve a stable state (at which point timely lewd content will come naturally).
Until then, early/incomplete/standalone/etc. releases are just wounds from being too slow, and their piling up hurts a lot. Obviously this shouldn't affect your enjoyment of them, and I'm happy the 10F release will let everyone (including me) exhale a bit.
There's no thesis or conclusion or takeaway (maybe mypainisgreaterthanyours.gif) here. I'm assuming anyone still here knows I'm not a scammer or trying to make excuses -- I'll be the first to encourage you to unsub until a material release if you have any doubts.
I'll ask folks not to share this post outside of here since one of the main reasons I'm quiet is it's exhausting being dog-piled by people I wasn't trying to interact with taking my words of context whenever I say something. Thanks again.