Dispatch One Hundred and Six, March 30th, 2026
Greetings WHM Family!
We are grateful and relieved to be off the road, but hot damn did we have some fun in Los Angeles, Minneapolis and Chicago these last five weeks! We had a blast in Minneapolis meeting folks at both our kick-ass Conan the Barbarian show at the Varsity Theatre and our collaborative screening of An American Werewolf in London with the Minnesota Timberwolves, both were dope and it was so great to meet all the fans that came out to those. Also, Chicago? We still love ya. We had a barn burner of a show on Big and got to spend some time in one of our favorite cities. You all are the best fans in the business, full stop.
Now that Listener Request Month is over it must be time for “Ordinary Time” on We Hate Movies, right? Wrong! Brand new theme month dropping, get ready for…Remake-ril! That’s right, every title we release in this month will be a remake of some kind! We’ve got a really fun month planned for you with some off-the-wall titles. You’re gonna love it!
Banner Credit: We Hate Movies Logo by Felipe Sobreiro
Image Credit: The Varsity Theatre day of the Conan the Barbarian show by Stephen Sajdak
LAST MONTH ON WHM
Episode 849 – The Country Bears (2002)
Listener Request Month got off to a roaring start as the fellas hit the road with the titular The Band-esque band of muppet bears who reunite for one last gig, thanks to Haley Joel Osment-bear. Why are all the bears more or less the same exact character? Can we get a little more Stephen Tobolowsky in this movie? Are there honey-addiction treatment centers all over this great nation? Rest in Peace, TOOTS!
Episode 850 – Clerks (1994) (Patrons Only)
For this Listener Request Month’s special We Love Movies entry, the boys ventured back to 1994 when everyone was getting to know the horrific, yet comical daily lives of your local convenience store cashier and video-store clerk. Can you say View-Askew-niverse without blushing from shame? Is Clerks another 90s indie hit begging to be brought to Broadway? Did Michael Caine know what snowballing was before he saw this movie? Plus, another venture back to Chris Cabin’s Columbia House movie stockpile!
Episode 851 – Supernova (2000)
Another unfortunate pick out of the Listener Request Month hat brought Andrew, Eric, Steve, and Chris face to face with deadly alien excellence, as the crew of a rescue ship are picked off one by one by a warped former captain. What in the world is with this orb thing? Could we not do better for a fake director name than “Thomas Lee?” Is Robert Forster’s character getting his doctorate in Saturday Morning Cartoon Theory? All of this and a new round of the latest VHS Trailer Game!
Episode 852 – The Boondock Saints (1999)
Three episodes into Listener Request Month 2026 and there ain’t no signs of stopping, baby! This round found the gang stuck in a terrible alternate 1999 where Boston became the epicenter of the superhero revolution and Irish super-bugs the Boondock Saints ruled over the shithole by shooting everyone they don’t like. Who thought this was a good idea? Why did Troy Duffy hate the Italian Mafia so much? Are you supposed to not want Rocco to die a long, painful, and maybe even unending death? If not, I think Duffy might have miscalculated a few times here.
Episode 853 – Joy Ride (2001, WLM, with Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler GIllett from Radio Silence
Caaaaaandy Caaaane. With their new film Ready or Not: Here I Come in theaters, friends of the show Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett of Radio Silence stopped by the WHM offices to talk one of the best early-aughts horror-tinged pulp noirs, John Dahl’s Joy Ride, about an obsessive, violently-horny truck driver who latches onto a trio of travelers. When did we stop putting our all into vehicular stunts like this? Does anyone else genuinely miss ambiguous and eerily unresolved endings? How many great “motel movies” are out there? Plus, this honestly may be Paul Walker’s greatest performance, no foolin’.
Episode 854 – White Noise 2: The Light (2007)
On the next stop on the seemingly never-ending Listener Request Month, Andrew, Chris, Steve, and Eric return to the White Noise world and find a very different movie with Nathan Fillion and a killer who slays people he once saved. How big of a trade-down is it from Michael Keaton to Nathan Fillion? Be honest! How does the diner from that big opening scene stay open after three dead bodies, including a child, have to be taken out through the front door? Did Katee Sackhoff really have nothing else to do? Whenever in doubt, go for more piano-based deaths, not less. Just a bit of advice!
For the final entry of Listener Request Month, the gang sat down and talked all about Andrew Niccol’s Gattaca-esque sci-fi thriller where time is money, literally! Wait…how could that work? The good news is the movie doesn’t really know either. Is this the worst movie with the most Cillian Murphy? Why isn’t he just the only villain, why are we bothering with Alex Pettyfer, of all people? All that said, it’s still pretty funny to watch Olivia Wilde “shut down” mid-run.
WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?
This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies-related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.
Andrew:
Ready or Not 2: Here I Come (2026): We caught an early screening of this several weeks back in advance of our WLM show on Joy Ride, with Matt and Tyler from Radio Silence guesting. I gotta say, I think we’ve got a real “I’ve Got It, By the Way” situation on our hands. I’m a big fan of the first one, but this does everything a sequel is expected to do in a big, bad way: expand the world in a real interesting fashion, up the body count, up the blood, etc. I don’t want to give a single thing away, but if you haven’t caught this one yet, definitely check it out in a theater with a group. It’s funny, it’s got great action, awesome VFX, and another super-eerie Elijah Wood performance!
Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead (2008): In our convo with Matt and Tyler about Joy Ride, it came up that the film had two direct-to-DVD sequels. So, inspired by that (and by a potential run at curating a Direct-to-DVD Sequels theme month, would y’all like that?) I sat down to watch the first of the two sequels and man, you can safely skip part two, that’s for sure. Nothing to do with the original besides the main man himself, Rusty Nail, this sequel definitely abandons all the tension and dread that John Dahl created with the first one and instead, turns it into a full-on slasher, but not even a really good one. There is an obnoxious character that stumbles upon old Rusty Nail and goes, “Rage against the machine, motherfucker,” so there’s that!
Whistle (2025): Don’t make the mistake I did of renting this for $10 on Apple, only to have the opening title card come up and BOOM, Shudder’s logo is staring you down. Wait until it’s on Shudder and stream it, but this is still a recommend. It’s of the Final Destination/Wish Upon side of teen terror, what with a magic death whistle that has the power to know when your actual death was going to happen and how, only to then move up your grim death time to the present, no matter when it is you were naturally supposed to kick off. So, for the girl in the film who was just going to die of old age, you guessed it, a ghastly old woman comes out and sucks the life out of her. Then there’s the dude who is supposed to die in a car accident — a kill that is very impressive and reminiscent of the first A Nightmare On Elm Street. It’s not an amazing movie, there’s a scummy young priest character that feels like it’s from a different draft, but overall this was a fun time. Again, to stream on Shudder, but maybe not pay a full $10 for PVOD unless you’re really interested.
Five Superfighters (1979): I’m into the second volume of Arrow Video’s Shawscope sets and you can kinda start to feel some repetition with the storytelling here. I’m generally fine with that in these sets because you can only have so many kinds of stories, but usually the familiar storylines are at least buoyed by fun and well done training and fight sequences. Not really the case here, but the cinematography is pretty different compared to a lot of the previous films in this set. The camera is way more active and trying different things and I was all about that. Still a recommend, but not the best I’ve encountered in these sets.
Invincible Shaolin (1978): Another title from Shawscope Vol. 2 and it’s another just okay film. This one has a really interesting story with some high stakes, but the training sequences get really tough, like we’re talking re-using footage repetitive. But it’s a lot bloodier than other Shawscope films I've seen, and the finale is really fantastic.
undertone (2025): I’m firmly in the camp of I Don’t Know What Other People See In This. I gave it my best shot, y’all. Went to theater, sat nice and close, at a multiplex I knew would have good sound, and… meh? I said on Letterboxd, I don’t know if it’s because I record and edit audio for a living or what, but this did absolutely nothing for me. I see a lot of people saying that the anticipation of something happening had them at the edge of their seat, and perhaps I was the first time as well. But this movie is all anticipation and no pay-off, couched in a story about grief and parental end of life caregiving, but it just never really got off the ground for me. Bummer.
Chris:
Project Hail Mary (2026): Like Ridley Scott’s The Martian, this is a sturdy, entertaining slab of Andy Weir-by-way-of-Drew Goddard sci-fi, heavy on the cute nerd stuff and slight on the scary, death-ridden vastness of unknown stuff. I’m mostly pro-Lord & Miller, and most of their anti-complexity tendencies do not mess with the overall enjoyability of their latest film. It helps immeasurably when you have Ryan Gosling working on all cylinders for you, as much of the film is him reacting to stuff that was not actually in front of him when he was making this. Casting Sandra Hüller is also an incredibly smart thing to do, as she really does control the screen with seemingly minimal effort as the leader of the team planning Gosling’s trip out to find a healthy planet. Ken Leung and Orion Lee also have supporting roles for all my fellow Industry and First Cow heads. Where The Fall Guy failed to fully tap into Gosling’s abilities due to a smug script and indifferent imagery, Lord & Miller really seem to understand what makes him so likable, and it is regularly on display here when he’s talking end-of-world stuff with Huller or save-the-world stuff with Rocky, the delightful creature he encounters out in space. Nothing game-changing but a very fun time at the movies.
War Machine (2026): A lazy and wasteful attempt to cash in on the obvious action-hero potential of Reacher’s Alan Ritchson. Heavy-duty AI algorithm vibes on all sides, from script, to backgrounds, to effects. Design is terrible too, as is the supporting work from Jai Courtney, Dennis Quaid, Esai Morales and Stephen James. Just nothing to compliment here at all. If you actually want to build a franchise for Ritchson, hire a real director, work with Ritchson and a dependable writer, and build one that speaks to his very real comedic and choreographic talents. Stop just throwing him in junk until people are tired of seeing him in general, regardless of the quality of the project.
Put Your Soul on Your Hand and Walk (2026): One of the best documentaries on the all-encompassing horror of life in Gaza following October 7th, specifically because it folds in the sense of distance, privilege, and unsustainable connection felt by anyone outside of Gaza while trying to reach out to the people of Gaza. The Iranian filmmaker, Sepideh Farsi ingeniously leaves in all the frustrating disconnections, trips to let the cat in or unlock the door, and even more every-day, tedious elements of life. These quotidian tasks take on a kind of sweetness when one sees them contrasted with the constant uncertainty, pain, and disconnect that her friend, the late Fatima Hassouna, goes through on a daily basis as she shelters from nonstop Israeli bombings. Well worth the soul sickness and sadness that inherently comes with films on this particular subject.
Eric:
Outland (1981): Steve lent me this disc and it's a lot of fun. Had not seen this movie before. Well, I fixed that and you should too! Sean Connery plays a Space Cop at a mining colony investigating strange goings on. Extra points for showing multiple head explosions.
The Force (1994): Let's say you're that stereotypical movie detective who is cool under pressure and roundhouse kicks people while wearing light wash jeans, but you get deceived and killed. You know what you'd do: shove your soul into a rookie cop you just met to solve your own murder and harass your widow along the way! A ridiculous movie that's floating around on YouTube.
Auggie Rose a.k.a. Beyond Suspicion (2000): Sometimes my wife and I like to look up and watch "domestic thrillers" which can be pretty much Lifetime movies but with actual actors in them (sorry, Lifetime). This was one we came across. Well-to-do guy, Jeff Goldblum witnesses the death of a stock boy fresh out of prison named Auggie Rose. He gets obsessed and basically wants to be the ex-con stock boy now... There's something very fascinating about these Yuppie malaise movies where characters decide to destroy their lives because they're too good and thusly boring.
Dances with Wolves (1990): This movie is very well made, but lacks the luster of other Costner directed westerns. I much prefer Open Range and Horizon: An American Saga - Chapter 1. I had not seen this since probably the 90's or early 00's. I had no idea I bought the 4 hour extended edition but I went with it. There's shades of Jeramiah Johnson here. He's not going to the frontier to conquer. He wants to escape. And goddamn do I enjoy a movie where we spend 4 hours respecting one another... That said, even after 4 hours, it feels like it's missing something.
Operation Avalanche (2016): While we were in Los Angeles we caught Nirvanna The Band The Show The Movie and I've become obsessed with that movie and TV show. I had already seen and really enjoyed BlackBerry when it came out, so I've been catching up on the rest of Matt Johnson's work. This movie? It's fine. Knowing who is behind it makes me give it a lot of slack with the whole 1960s found footage-ish angle. One glaring problem is it's hard to accept the concept of the movie when your CIA agent leads have thick Canadian accents.
Steve:
Is This Thing On? (2025): I’m interested in Bradley Cooper as a director, even though I haven’t loved anything he’s done. Kinda hate that A Star Is Born movie, but Maestro (Christopher Maltasante voice) “Hey, I liked it!” So, my wife and I tried this one a few weeks ago and that’s gonna be a big ‘no thanks’. The comedy stuff feels like it should’ve come out a decade ago and even for then is remarkably inaccurate. The comedy scene can be supportive, but this supportive? At the COMEDY CELLAR? I sincerely doubt it. Also, the comedy stuff doesn’t get as much play as the will-they-won’t-they actually divorce between Will Arnett and Laura Dern, who unfortunately have zero chemistry. Kinda DOA from that point on.
Bone Lake (2025): Low-level streaming horror that somehow got a theatrical release–which I only know because you don’t forget a title like Bone Lake–that somehow has good critic scores, which I find baffling. The first forty seconds a dude gets shot through the testicles and it’s kind of glorious and the rest of it after that isn’t worth your time. But, at least now I get to write Bone Lake one more time. Bone Lake!
Spawn (1997): A few weeks back my wife and I were at a bar playing a lot of Nü Metal and we started talking about Nü Metal movies and this came up, so we went home and watched it. What the fuck is wrong with us? This is somehow worse than I remembered. Just a total flub that doesn’t trust its conceit, its cast, or even the audience. Kind of a bad sign! Leguizamo is doing his best in that ridiculous make-up trying to make this movie work, but even that performance is cut to ribbons. Also, not nearly enough Nü Metal!
PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUNDHere's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from
Felipe from Brasília, who asks:
“Was there a 2025 movie that you wished had gotten an Oscar nomination (in any category) but was ignored by the Academy voters?”
Andrew: There are two films I really enjoyed from last year, one that I was totally surprised was snubbed and the other I wasn’t at all. I was stunned that Park Chan-wook’s incredibly dark and funny and of-the-moment thriller, No Other Choice was completely ignored, even for International Feature, but also Lee Byung-hun not getting a nom for his great performance was nonsense. On the other hand, I wasn’t surprised at all the Kelly Reichardt’s The Mastermind was completely snubbed. Oscar-nominating folks and Academy voters for the most part, I would wager, couldn’t sit through a masterful Kelly Reichardt film, let alone nominate one for an award.
Chris: First off, of course No Other Choice deserved more attention and praise than it got, despite having a number of quite vocal defenders out there. Like his brother in arts, Guillermo del Toro, Park has become one of those inarguably skilled filmmakers who it is hip to hate on for mostly petty reasons. (If someone wants to point me towards legitimately argued writings against either of these directors and their work, I’d genuinely love to take a look, but everything I’ve perused thus far has been either openly mean-spirited and aimed at getting some rocks off or barely argued beyond “not my thing.”) That being said, The Phoenician Scheme also deserved nominations in all technical categories, and I am forced to believe that Wes is simply too good to be noticed by the Academy at this point. Watch that movie again and consider the sheer sense of invention that is required to pull off such a punchy riff on Powell & Pressburger, to say nothing of the fact that it’s Anderson’s most action-driven and thrillingly edited film since The Grand Budapest Hotel. For reasons that seem obvious to me, the Academy turned its back on Nadav Lapid’s unrelenting, seething satire Yes, which considers the military and media appetites in Israel that led to our, uh, current state of play. A little more love for Eddington would have made me happy, and a nomination for Tessa Thompson’s exhilarating lead performance in Nia DiCosta’s excellent Hedda would have been beyond called for, in my opinion.
Eric: Gotta agree with my colleagues. No Other Choice was one of my favorite movies of last year. I liked Sentimental Value, but No Other Choice blows it out of the water. The Mastermind was also very good.
Steve: Regarding The Mastermind, I wonder if Josh O’Connor kind of flooded the zone with all the work he did in 2025, because I think he easily should’ve been nominated for that amazing performance. Speaking of overlooked performances I think both Ben Whishaw and Rebecca Hall did their best work in Peter Hujar’s Day and that absolutely could’ve/should’ve received more attention even though it’s not surprising it didn’t. Also, I would’ve loved a best original screenplay for David Koepp’s twisty and fun-as-fuck screenplay for Black Bag.
APRIL SCHEDULE
Say what? The schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter, you get a sneak peek at what we're putting out for Remake-ril:
Free Feed:
April 7th – Dawn of the Dead (2004)
April 14th – The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
April 21st – City of Angels (1998)
April 28th – Robocop (2014)
Patreon Episodes:
April 2nd – We Love Movies: The Departed (2006)
April 9th – Once in a Lifetime: The Bad Seed (2018)
April 16th – MELR0210: 90210: “The Girl from New York City” (s4, e2) Melrose Place: “Another Perfect Day in Hell” (s4, e18)
April 21st at 8pm EST – WHM After Dark: Come with your questions at the ready and spend an hour hanging out with the gang!
April 23rd – Animation Damnation: Ducktales (2017): “Terror of the Terra-Firmians!” (s1, e5)
April 24th – The Gleep Glossary: Darth Sidious
April 29th – Q2 Scaredycats: The Pope’s Exorcist (2023)
April 30th – The Nexus: TOSTAS: “The Pirates of Orion”(s2, e1) TNG: “Ensign Ro” (s5,e3)
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UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION
In case you missed it we opened our Patreon Shop we released the previously unavailable Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter virtual live show for purchase on our Patreon shop! This was such a fun show and it'll be awesome to revisit or experience for the first time as you get to talk us gab about (one of) the best entries in the Friday the 13th canon! You get a new introduction recorded by us, the show from that night, and an audio file of the whole thing so you can enjoy the show again on the go!
You’re keeping up with our Youtube channel, right? We’ve been releasing mailbags and a few On-Screen lives, it’s been a total blast. We’ve always got some more stuff planned so subscribe to never miss a broadcast!
We also have all officially sanctioned VHS Trailer Game episodes up to this point. Eric has also put out great clip packages like WTF Exorcism with Marc Merrin, Dr. Loomis is the Worst Doctor, Dilf Den, George Bailey as Michael Meyers,John Wick-Mentary, Toby Jones in Bee Movie, Sausage Claus, David!Muppet Hitchcock Presents, and many more! You can also watch the entirety of our Witchboardepisode! Complete with visual gags (most of which are almost funny.). You'll find all sorts of cool shit like Mailbags, VHS Trailer Games, Full Episodes like Rampage (2018),Any Which Way You Can,Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Saw III. Like we said above, these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already!
If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our new and improved merch store on Dashery! We have some new, super fun designs by Felipe Sobreiro such as the Total Recall Live show logo, a pair of vaguely gross ones like “Hot Out the Hole” and “The Coin Slot” and the Barbarian Scaredycats design! We also have "The DILF Den", and a "Crispy Critters" design from friend of the show, Nathan Hamill! There’s a ton of other great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Demon-o's Pizza, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! See you next month!
Take it easy,Andrew, Chris, Eric, and SteveWe Hate Movies