A Selection of Incident Reports from Disarmament Badlands Historic Preserve
Selected from Annex E-8469T.
National Anomalous Preserves Weekly Incident Report
To: Bureau of Ranger Management
From: Head Ranger Clarice Li, Disarmament Badlands Historic Preserve
Date: Week of March 9th - 15th, 1998
INCIDENTS
98-047: Western Entrance to Disarmament Badlands Historic Preserve
An oversized RV carrying three guests from Portland, Oregon, broke down just before the Western Entry kiosk, causing a traffic backup that took well over an hour to clear. Park mechanics were dispatched to assist the guests as they attempted to fix their recreational vehicle, and ultimately, said mechanics were able to help replace the RV’s snapped serpentine belt. The guests were very grateful for the assistance, noting that they were in the very middle of a cross-country road trip.
98-048: ¾ of a mile down the Disarmament Interpretive Trail - Base of the “Excalibur” Sword
A guest from Los Angeles (L.G.) crossed the rope fence, ignoring signage and park regulations, in an attempt to take a picture with the “Excalibur” sword. L.G. attempted to lean against the sword with his left palm, and the sword instantly sliced his hand and forearm in half up to the elbow. Park medical staff were called and were able to stabilize L.G. on the trail by using a tourniquet and an emergency clotting agent. L.G. was transported to the Park Medical Center, then quickly airlifted to Rapid City Memorial Hospital, where he underwent emergency surgery and is now recovering.
98-049: Main Visitor’s Center
A small fire was ignited after an unknown visitor disposed of a lit cigarette in a waste bin outside the Main Visitor’s Center. Another visitor (H.C.) who witnessed the conflagration grabbed and utilized an emergency fire extinguisher, thereby preventing the fire from spreading beyond the waste receptacle. For her quick thinking and bold action, H.C. was rewarded with a $50 gift card to the Souvenir Shop. Investigation into the identity of the inadvertent arsonist is ongoing.
98-050: Pincushion Rock Loop trail
A “King Arthur” situation unfolded when a child was inexplicably able to remove one of the “small swords” from Pincushion Rock, a large boulder in the southern quarter of the park that contains over fifty swords with blades between 3 and 5 feet in length. The child’s parents immediately called park rangers, who were able to coax the child into giving up the sword by promising her a replica toy version from the gift shop to take home - a deal the child happily accepted. The sword was immediately taken to the Park Research Center for study, and both the child and her parents agreed to remain at the park for an extra hour while the child was interviewed as park researchers attempted to discern why this child had been able to remove a sword when no other had. Research is ongoing, and findings are actively being shared with the Preserve’s designated Federal Anomalous Incident Agent.
98-051: 3 miles down Blade Butte Loop Trail - Base of the “Kusanagi” Sword
A teen guest (R.C.) and three others in earshot of the Kusanagi sword suffered auditory-induced minor psychotic breaks after R.C. ignored park signage and threw a rock at the blade of the Kusanagi sword, causing it to resonate at a subsonic frequency for approximately 30 seconds. Rangers were called by other guests who came around the corner to find R.C. and the other guests writhing on the ground around the sword in various states of distress. All four guests were taken to the Park Medical Center, where all but R.C. experienced rapid recoveries. A standard 1mg dose of lorazepam was administered to R.C., who subsequently recovered. All four reported experiencing visions of “a storm of a million swords, swirling and diving in unison toward a lone bright point in an endless darkness.” Their experiences were individually recorded and reported to the Preserve’s designated Federal Anomalous Incident Agent.
98-052: Main Food Court
Several guests became ill with Norovirus after dining at the “Rainbow Delight Icy Freeze” frozen dessert booth. The food court was closed briefly and reopened once park maintenance was able to perform a full sanitation procedure, per protocol. The confectioner’s license for “Rainbow Delight Icy Freeze” has been temporarily revoked, pending the results of their internal investigation and mandatory hygiene training for their employees.
98-053: Main Visitor’s Station
At 2 in the morning on the 15th, silent laser alarms were tripped in the museum section of the Main Visitor’s Center. Park security responded immediately and found 3 masked men attempting to steal “The Butter Knife”, one of three dislodged swords on display in the Visitor Center Museum. All three were arrested, charged with breaking and entering and attempted grand larceny, and subsequently turned over to Federal Anomalous Incident Agents.
END REPORT