A Selection of Ranger Incident Reports from Vermillion Spires Habitat Preserve
National Anomalous Preserves Weekly Incident Report
To: Bureau of Ranger Management
From: Head Ranger Claire Gomez
Date: Week of March 10th-17th, 1997
INCIDENTS
97-031: Rabbit Foot Mesa - Southeastern Clutch
Park rangers on a routine patrol found a man, L.O., from Hamburg, Germany, attempting to dislodge a large section of egg sacs from the lower portion of the Rabbit Foot Mesa. L.O. attempted to flee the scene by way of a dirt bike parked beneath a nearby boulder, but crashed into a barrel cactus as he attempted to accelerate away, causing him to launch over the handlebars of the dirt bike and break his collarbone upon landing. Park medical staff were alerted, and L.O. was placed into medical custody. Upon searching his belongings, Park Rangers found 7 intact eggs stored within a high-tech incubation tube, seemingly designed specifically for harvesting Trifid Spaceborne Superorganism eggs. L.O. was charged with xeno-poaching, operation of an unauthorized motor vehicle on protected land, and floral desecration (on account of the barrel cactus) before he and the incubation tube were handed over to the park’s Federal Anomalous Incident Agent for questioning.
97-032: Nursery Canyon Trailhead
A guest, R.R. from Tooele, Utah, had to be extricated from the trailhead porta-potty by park maintenance staff after falling headfirst into the toilet in pursuit of a lost cell phone. R.R. was successfully removed from the toilet after being stuck for approximately 20 minutes. Park Maintenance was forced to cut their way into the porta-potty, as R.R. had locked the door behind them - a task requiring a saw that needed to be brought over from the central maintenance workshop. R.R. was taken to the Park Medical Center, where she showered and was administered antibiotic eye drops. The cell phone was not recovered.
97-033: Borpus Byway Interpretive Trail
A medical emergency ensued after L.W., a guest from Warrenton, Missouri, disregarded park regulations and attempted to handle an egg sac without gloves. According to witnesses, the egg almost instantly dissolved, causing the caustic albumen within to immediately melt the flesh off of L.W.’s hands. The rest of L.W.’s group, though far enough away to avoid any physical harm as a result of the albumen, inhaled the albumen that was vaporized as it reacted with L.W.’s hands, and were immediately made catatonic by the deliriant hallucinogenic effects of the vapor. Park medical staff responded immediately, and all 4 affected individuals were taken to the Park Medical Center for care. L.W.’s hands were, unfortunately, damaged beyond repair and necessitated an amputation to avoid critical infection. She and the rest of her group remained in their impaired mental state for another 13 hours, after which they awoke. All were discharged save for L.W., who was transferred to a state hospital in Flagstaff for continued care & appendage replacement therapy. All 4 reported experiencing the same hallucination - floating through a dark, cold, star-speckled void for what felt like a thousand years. Despite the perceived length of the ordeal, all 4 reported largely forgetting the experience within 15 minutes of waking up. Findings and data were collected by the Park’s Chief Psychologist for later research.
97-034: Preserve Western Boundary, Fertility Fields Scenic Viewpoint
A bull from a neighboring ranch broke through the barbed wire fence just west of the Fertility Fields Scenic Viewpoint and charged a group of guests that had gathered there for a photo. The guests managed to escape without harm by crawling onto the top of a nearby campervan. Park rangers responded and managed to corral the bull back over the property line with the help of one of the ranch’s cowhands. Park Maintenance was dispatched to fix and reinforce the broken fencing.
97-035: Clover Canyon Northern Clutch
Guests hiking in the area reported a “pitiful wailing” coming from somewhere off the main trail. Rangers responded and found that several eggs had hatched prematurely, and the underdeveloped tadpoles within were writhing on the ground below. After donning safety gear (hazmat suits and respirators) the three underdeveloped tadpoles were recovered and brought to the park’s Xenobiological research center. One unfortunately died in transit, but the other two have been placed in incubators and stabilized. Should they survive until their scheduled hatching in 25 years, these will be the first tadpoles to be successfully hatched in an artificial environment.
97-036: Cataract Crevasse Scenic Byway
A visitor who stopped to take pictures of the Cataract Crevasse Overhang Clutch failed to pull all the way off the road and caused a 4-car pile-up in the narrowest part of the crevasse byway. Three tow trucks were dispatched to help clear the pileup, and only minor injuries were reported.
END REPORT