A Selection of Ranger Incident Reports from Wendigo Woods Wildlife Preserve
Selected from Annex E-8469T.
International Anomalous Preserves Weekly Incident Report
To: Bureau of Ranger Management
From: Head Ranger Sue Schmitt
Date: Week of June 2nd-8th, 2003
INCIDENTS
03-089: Sill’s Meadow Viewing Deck
A guest, K.A. from Missoula, Montana, was cursed by the Wendigo 24-B “Big Johnny” after repeatedly hurling insults at said Wendigo from the top of the Sill’s Meadow Viewing Deck, including, according to witnesses: “I’ve seen bigger antlers on a whitetail deer” and “You look a little skinny, here, have a sandwich”, an insult which was accompanied by K.A. tossing a half eaten lettuce wrap over the railing towards the Wendigo 24-B. According to witnesses, 24-B’s eyes glowed briefly, and K.A.’s next insults were nothing but gibberish. Park medical staff was called after K.A. began panicking, and upon arrival, the attending EMTs determined that K.A. had been cursed to speak backwards, a common wendigo hex that generally lasts anywhere from 7-10 days if not renewed. K.A. was discharged without further care and cited for littering.
03-090: Main Visitor Orientation Center
A visitor, L.O. from Erie, Pennsylvania, suffered a severe allergic reaction after consuming her mandatory pheromone tablet at the end of the Visitor Orientation. Synthad (synthetic adrenaline) was administered via syringe to L.O.’s right thigh by onsite orientation staff, mitigating the immediate danger posed by the allergic reaction. L.O. was transported offsite to Nahanni Regional Hospital, where emergency care was administered, potentially saving her life. Unfortunately, L.O. was not allowed back into the park due to her inability to imbibe the necessary pheromone tablet. Her entrance fee was refunded, and she was provided with a virtual tour experience in the hospital by volunteer park docents.
03-091: Deerstooth Point Backcountry Trail
Backcountry hikers exploring the Deerstooth Point area reported finding a pile of bleached, potentially human bones approximately 6 kilometers west of Weeping Bend. Upon arrival, the Park Rangers determined that the remains were, in fact, human, and matched the dental records of F.F., a backcountry hiker who went missing last August. The autopsy revealed bite patterns matching those of a mature Wendigo and a distinct lack of the calcium traces universally left by the pheromone tablets, suggesting that the deceased individual neglected to take their tablets. The case remains under investigation, with rangers currently seeking the last known campsite of the deceased individual with the hopes of finding more information about what exactly transpired.
03-092: Southern Feed Cloning Facility E1
Vat 79 in Southern Wendigo Feed Cloning Facility E1 abruptly ceased production at approximately 3:34 AM on June 5th after an automatic shutdown was initiated by the emergence of an aggressive cancer in the cultured meat. Meat reserves were drawn from to avoid any disruption in the Wendigo Feeding cycle, and the Facility was brought back online by 9AM on June 6th after the contaminated vat was sterilized and the cultured meat’s genome was reset. Tissue Donor 44, the individual who donated a portion of their gluteal muscle, which serves as the initial clone sample, has been notified that such a cancer may lie latent in their genome, and has scheduled a visit with their primary care provider accordingly.
03-093: Romblmintz’s Stand Meadow
Park rangers were alerted to the presence of a “growing ethereal sphere of fundamental terror” emanating from Romblmintz’s Stand Meadow by guests who had been forced to flee the area by the psychological effects of said sphere. Rangers donned standard issue Anti-Psychotropic Effect Helmets and entered the meadow, where they found three mature Wendigo engaging in a “Ritual of Horror”, a strictly forbidden memetic enchantment procedure. The three Wendigo responsible, 19-T “Mother Goose”, 26-P “Toothy”, and 21-U “Manchego”, were all admonished by the rangers and dispersed through the use of a specialised horn designed to mimic the hunting cries of the Great Yukon Giants. All three responsible Wendigos have been added to the Delta Observation Category. Drone surveillance will be upped for all three accordingly.
03-094: Main Park Entry Road
O.M., a visitor from Burbank, California, was pulled over by Park Security after Officer Sturmott witnessed O.M. drop an empty plastic chip bag out of his window as he drove out of the park. Officer Sturmott issued O.M. a citation for littering, at which point O.M. began berating Officer Sturmott. Despite the officer’s attempts to de-escalate the situation, O.M. became so irate that he got out of his vehicle and began swinging a large, heavy, metal flashlight at Officer Sturmott. Sturmott proceeded to use his mace and taser on O.M., who was successfully detained, transported to a nearby jail, and charged with attempted assault of an officer.
03-095: Second Wind Interpretive Trail
A child, 6-year-old T.E. from Calgary, Alberta, briefly went missing during a hike with her parents. After 15 minutes of searching, T.E. was found by a park ranger 50 yards off the trail, deep in apparent conversation with a juvenile Wendigo, 49-R “Little Timmy”. When asked what they were talking about, T.E. only giggled and stated that it was “their little secret”. No further attempts at persuading T.E. to divulge more of her conversation were successful, and her and her parents departed the park shortly after.
END REPORT
Selected from Annex E-8469T.