An excerpt from a promotional video for Poseidon's Petting Zoo Deepwater Preserve.
Selected from Annex E-8469T.
Incident Reports From Poseidon's Petting Zoo. Looking for the Audio Version? Click here!
Global Anomalous Preserves Weekly Incident Report
To: Bureau of Ranger Management
From: Head Ranger Billy Gomez
Date: Week of December 9th-15th, 2002
INCIDENTS
02-651: Newton Viewing Dome
A guest, J.R. from Akron, Ohio, was found aggressively rapping the glass in the Newton Viewing Dome, trying to get the attention of a G-Class Leviathan, 10 minutes after the interpretive viewing session he had been attending ended. Mere moments after J.R. was pulled away from the window by rangers, the G-Class rammed the dome, causing significant structural damage to the bracing chassis and the pressure glass. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but Newton Dome has been indefinitely closed for extensive repairs, and J.R. was expelled from the Preserve. The Anomalous Preserve Network intends to hold him liable for damages to the dome in a court of law.
02-652: Generator Dome 7B
A leak in the sealing grout in Generator Dome 7B caused an automated generator shutdown at approximately 9:43 AM, leading to a 6-hour blackout in Habitation Domes 3-7. Park maintenance noted that the grout used to seal the dome should have held for at least another 10 years, but exhibited signs of advanced, abnormal decay. As such, inspections of the rest of the Preserve’s grout lines have been ordered.
02-653: Eastern Preserve, Nemo Viewing Dome
T.W., a 6-year-old child from St. George, Utah, was reported missing by his parents at 12:13 PM. A Preserve-wide manhunt ensued, and T.W. was found at approximately 12:45 PM in the Nemo Viewing Dome, which is currently closed for minor repairs. When found, T.W. was reportedly “dancing” with an E-Class Leviathan that was present on the other side of the glass. The preserve staff members who found T.W. reported that as he jumped and skipped along the glass, the head of the E-Class moved and bobbed with him, and even blew bubbles in the water outside, which reportedly delighted T.W. This marks the 14th instance of direct human-leviathan communication in the last year. The preserve’s Designated Anomalous incident agents have been notified.
02-654: Preserve Sub-Floor 12
The autonomous rat-catching team (three cats named Johnny, Cheese Whiz, and Nuclear Bomb), caught a record 432 rats this week, a 2500% increase since last week. No one’s quite sure where all the rats came from - a fierce debate is currently ensuing between Preserve Maintenance, who maintain that these rats didn’t exist before last week and therefore must have come in on a recent shipment; and Preserve Health and Safety Monitors, who believe the rats must have been flourishing in some unknown location and were only this week brought out of hiding. A thorough investigation is ongoing into the source of the rats, and each rat-catcher has been awarded a tuna-bowl bonus for their work.
02-655: Entry Dock 4
A guest, Y.L, from Buenos Aires, Argentina, experienced a severe panic attack upon arriving at the preserve after disembarking from her sub-shuttle, and was taken to the Preserve’s Medical Center. After her condition failed to improve for a full hour, Y.L. was placed back on the sub-shuttle and taken back to Nassau, her port of origin.
02-656: Neptune, Cousteau, Kupe, and Sedna Viewing Domes
Between the hours of 2 and 5 PM on December 15th, twelve guests and one ranger reported seeing “the silhouette of a man floating in the water” outside the viewing domes. Thorough roll-call procedures were enacted, and all staff and registered guests were found to be accounted for. All reports matched in description, describing a silhouette of a man floating in place, staring at the station, always just behind a leviathan. The leviathans’ behaviour remained normal for the duration of the sightings, and the man was not seen once the sun began to set. These sightings match the profile of incidents 00-331 and 01-044 - the preserve’s Designated Anomalous Incident Agents have been notified.
Head Ranger’s Note: Incident rate at Poseidon’s Petting Zoo continues to radically outpace the APN global average by increasingly concerning margins. Though a catastrophic incident has yet to occur, it’s only a matter of time. Immediate closure of the preserve is strongly recommended, and if that’s not possible, transfer of the Head Ranger to any other preserve is demanded.
END REPORT