Christopher took his place behind the monitor while the apartment set settled into silence around him. The lighting crew made one final adjustment to the cold blue glow coming from Columbus’s computer monitor, and the prop team checked the pizza boxes stacked beside the desk.
Jack sat at the PC in full Columbus mode, shoulders slightly hunched, glasses in place, hands resting near the keyboard and the Jessica Rabbit mousepad. Everything on the desk looked obsessively neat except for the mountain of junk food around him.
Penny waited outside the apartment door, already breathing like she had run through half the building.
The speakers crackled softly as the voice-over track was cued.
The assistant director raised her hand.
“Quiet on set.”
The stage went completely still.
“Roll sound.”
“Sound speeds.”
“Roll camera.”
“Camera speeds.”
The slate snapped in front of the lens.
“Scene twenty-seven, bedroom flashback, take one.”
Christopher leaned toward the monitor.
“Action.”
Jack started typing at the keyboard, his face lit by the pale glow of the screen. His expression carried the lonely, melancholy focus of a man who had made peace with Friday night becoming a digital cave.
Through the background speakers, Columbus’s voice-over began.
Friday night. Third straight week indoors. World of Warcraft. Leaning Tower of Pizza Boxes. Code Red Mountain Dew. Pride - nowhere. Dignity - loooong gone. Virginity - totally justifiable to speculate on.
Emma stood beside Phil behind the monitors, watching Jack try to drink from the Code Red cup without taking his hands off the keyboard. He bit the lip of the cup and tipped it back.
The Mountain Dew spilled down his chin and across the front of his shirt.
Jack froze for half a second, staring down at himself.
“Smooth.”
A few crew members barely held in laughter.
Jack pushed back from the desk, stood with stiff embarrassment, and walked toward the bathroom, dripping Mountain Dew. The camera followed him just long enough to catch him taking off the wet shirt and dropping it onto the floor before ducking into the closet for a replacement.
The voice-over continued through the speakers.
My whole life, all I'd ever really wanted was to find a girl. Fall in love. Bring her home to meet the folks. That was my biggest fear of all. Dying alone. Mom didn't know where I would meet a, quote, ‘marriageable woman,’ but Dad knew where I wouldn't: my locked apartment. And he'd always been right. ‘Til now...
Penny slammed her fist against the apartment door.
The pounding echoed through the set.
Jack nearly jumped out of his skin inside the apartment. He froze, eyes wide, then slowly turned toward the door like it had personally betrayed him.
Penny pounded again, louder this time.
“408, you in there?! Please!”
Jack tiptoed toward the door with exaggerated caution, his body tense and awkward in exactly the right Columbus way. He leaned toward the peephole.
The voice-over played again.
Omigod. My adorable next door neighbor. 406. I'd dreamed of this girl. But I'd never said hi, 'cause I was busy making ground-breaking advances in the exciting new field of lame.
Outside, Penny’s voice cracked with fear.
“Please, it’s an emergency! No one’s answering! Please?! Heeeelp...”
Jack swallowed, touched his hair quickly, then unlocked the door with trembling fingers.
The second it opened, Penny burst into the room.
She slammed the door behind her, locked the bolt, and threw her arms around him like Columbus was the only safe person left in the world.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
She kissed his cheeks quickly, one side then the other, while Jack stood completely frozen for a beat, stunned by the sudden affection.
Then his face changed.
Columbus had just become important.
“It was nothing!”
Christopher watched the monitor closely, then glanced at Phil. Penny had hit the entrance exactly right: scared, breathless, charming, and just messy enough to feel real.
The crew reset for the living room portion.
A few minutes later, the cameras were rolling again.
Penny sat curled on the sofa with a blanket over her shoulders, both hands wrapped around a cup that Jack had given her a moment ago. He sat beside her, trying very hard to look calm and helpful while clearly losing his mind inside.
She took a sip before looking down at the cup. “Mountain Dew?”
Jack nodded.
“Code Red. And some Golden Grahams.”
He handed her a plastic bag.
“The Ziploc Bag keeps ‘em crisp.”
Penny looked at the bag, then back at him.
“Hm.”
Jack leaned forward, trying to become the kind of person who handled emergencies.
“Why don't you start from the beginning?”
“Not ‘til we've called the police.”
“Right, sorry!”
Jack grabbed the cordless phone and hit the green button. The dead tone squealed through the room.
Penny’s face tightened immediately.
“What’s wrong?! I dropped my cell when... you got a cell?”
“Yeah, but no bars. Wanna try down the hall?”
“In a bit. Right now I feel safe. Here.”
Jack visibly melted.
“Great.”
Penny pulled the blanket tighter around herself. Her hands shook around the cup.
“He was homeless. And sick. I was walking home from a bar, talking on the phone. And he came sprinting toward me. Not running. Sprinting. I thought he was, like, running after someone, or from someone, ‘til... ‘til...”
Her breathing shook at the end, and Jack’s expression softened. He set down her Mountain Dew and carefully took her hands between his own, warming and stilling them.
“Here.”
Penny looked at him through damp eyes and gave a small, grateful smile.
“Thanks.”
The voice-over came through the speakers again.
OK, the confidence? Coming out of nowhere... seriously, maybe even my ass.
Half of the crew on the set began to laugh, even Penny, Christopher, Phil and Richard began to laugh after hearing the voiceover.
"Ohh, sorry," Penny giggled, covering her mouth. "That came out of nowhere."
Jack also laughed, noticing everyone laughing, "Well, looks like the script works, huh, guys?"
"Hahaha, yeah, it definitely works," Christopher said while laughing and giving him a thumbs up. "Alright, get all the laugh out of your system, everyone, because there are a lot more where that came from."
So, it took a few minutes to reset the scene for the next take.
The slate snapped...
"Action," Christopher called out.
Jack held her hands a second longer.
“Go on.”
“He ran right for me. Just totally wild. Violent. He grabbed me. And I dropped my phone and pulled away. And ran. So did he. He must have slipped, ‘cause I made it inside the gate. Last I saw, he was still out there, going crazy.”
Jack frowned, trying to process that without panicking.
“Drugs, maybe? We'll stay here ‘til the phones come back on. Then we'll call the police.”
Penny looked down for a second, then back at him.
“I didn't mention the worst part.”
“Yeah?”
“He tried to bite me.”
Jack stared at her, grossed out.
“You're right. That's the worst part.”
“Sorry, I’m so scared.”
“Quit it! Some homeless guy tries to eat you?! That's, like, the right kind of scared, reasonable scared. Me, I'm afraid of stuff like clowns...”
He gave a tiny shudder.
“...and those rags they use to wipe restaurant tables...”
Penny blinked at him.
“Really?”
“I joke a lot. Point is, I'm here for you. And as long as you're by my side, I’m not leaving this apartment.”
The voice-over played softly behind them.
Playing to my strengths.
Penny’s expression changed. The fear did not vanish completely, but she looked comforted now. Safe. She gave him a sincere smile.
“Mind if I close my eyes?”
She leaned forward and kissed Columbus on the cheek, then pulled the blanket to her chin and leaned on his shoulder. Jack sat frozen beside her, jittery excitement barely contained.
The speakers carried the next voice-over.
Set aside the feverish, homeless cannibal, I'm living the dream! I'd always... my whole life... wanted to brush a girl's hair over her ear.
Jack slowly lifted his hand and brushed Penny’s hair over her ear. She opened her eyes and smiled softly at him, then nestled back against him.
“Night.”
“Night.”
Jack watched her breathe peacefully for a few moments, completely overwhelmed by the fact that this was happening. Then, despite the Mountain Dew and the adrenaline and the terrifying man outside, sleepiness began to catch him too.
He propped up a sofa pillow, settled beside her, and closed his eyes.
Christopher let the camera hold on them.
One second.
Two.
Three.
“Cut.”
The room stayed quiet for half a beat.
Then Christopher smiled.
“That was good,” he said, looking from the monitor to Penny. “Really good.”
Penny opened her eyes, still tucked under the blanket, and looked like she was afraid to move too fast in case the compliment disappeared.
Jack sat up beside her and grinned. “Great job with the delivery.”
Emma smiled from behind the monitors. “You nailed the panic without overdoing it.”
Phil nodded, already checking the playback. “And the kiss on the cheek worked. Sweet, awkward, exactly right.”
Penny let out a breath she had probably been holding for a while now.
“Okay,” she said, laughing nervously. “Good. Great. I was trying not to think about the fact that I was doing my first real movie scene while everyone watched me pretend to fall asleep next to Jack Preston.”
Christopher announced. “Alright, let’s wrap it up here. Tomorrow, we'll begin with the 406 Zombie attack."