Kuoh Town, despite its size and population, was in the end still a town near the coast. We didn't have high-rise skyscrapers, apartment complexes and massive malls around every corner. I'd been to Kyoto a few times courtesy of some national martial arts competitions, but the stay was never long enough for me to take in the sights properly.
Alice's portal dropped us right outside a sprawling city, where the suburban homes slowly tapered off into untouched plots of land, with roads marked by wooden electricity poles and old trees that swayed gently along the wind.
Frankly, I was a little nervous.
There was really no difference between myself and a country bumpkin right now. In fact, I actually was one.
How was I supposed to enter the city?
My last time was in middle school, and there was a teacher to help me out and introduce me to everyone. We'd come by bus. Maybe, the correct option was to just walk in-
"Mm hm, I see you've grown nervous, you have, have you not?" Alice crossed her paws, flaring her nostrils, "We can still just go back, right the way we came, and come back-"
I shook my head. "No, it's not that."
"A-Are you sure? Devils manifested from humanity's fear walk around every day, eating people and stuff, yes, master-sir! There are people who fight them-" She explained loudly, hopping once and twice as she went on, "Those creatures are very different from that perverted priest, they are. Scary, scary monsters, I tell you."
Her concerns were wholly invalid. The sooner she realised that, the less troubled she would be with life. And, even if they were somehow valid, I was the sort of person to ignore them. I'd genuinely rather die than return to my boring life.
Sighing, I listlessly stared off to the side.
A pair of teenagers were walking up the lonely road leading up to the barn behind me. They were strangely dressed, at least, I wasn't very used to seeing people my age in suit pants and dress shirts, even if the blonde guy had his sleeves rolled up and the girl's blue jacket was hanging halfway off her arms.
Then, something caught my eye.
There were horns on her head. Two of them, the colour of blood. Her hair was a queer mash of pink and dirty blonde... and her pupils had rings in them.
Also, why were they wearing sneakers with those clothes-
"Uwah, Power, look, that country bumpkin's staring at us super hard." The blonde pointed his finger right at my face.
Since I was the one ogling a couple of strangers, I couldn't even call him rude. Though, I was a bit hurt by suddenly being called a bumpkin when I tried so hard to hide it.
The girl, Power, turned her head to stare as well. Once she noticed, she picked up the pace to hurry over.
"What is it, human?! Is your heart gripped by fear at the sight of my great self?"
My face soured as the most pungent, foul smell I'd ever come across hit me. It was as bad as the trash water that sometimes splashed out of some week old garbage bags and made me rinse my skin until I peeled off a layer of skin. No, it was worse. She smelled like genuine, actual shit.
I clamped my nose shut with my fingers.
"Have you never heard of running water, or soap?"
"Pft-" The blonde tried to hold his laughter, then gave up entirely right the next second and guffawed with his hands on his stomach.
Power kicked his knee, hard.
"Shut up, stupid Denji! You smelled super bad too until a few days ago! Bleh!"
Denji and Power. Hm.
"That hurts-! The hell did you kick me for?!"
The horned girl crossed her arms under breasts and huffed. Denji tried to kick her back but she jumped and ran behind me, grabbing hold of my shoulders. She laughed as Denji tried to punch me, and ducked just before his fist planted itself onto her nose.
Meanwhile, I had a conundrum of my own.
She looked hot but... the smell.
"Ew. Don't touch me."
"Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. You are disgusting, you really are!"
Alice jumped on top of my head, shivering and stuffing her nose with her paws.
In the end, the weeb simp inside was kicked to the curb by the part that was still somewhat rational. I tried to pry her off... but her grip was stronger than I'd assume. I was about to put some more force into it but-
"..."
Denji punched me right in the face.
"Oops. Sorry, man."
"That was definitely on purpose, weird stranger! Hit Denji back! Hard as you can! Power commands you!"
"It definitely wasn't on purpose. I'm sorry, alright? It didn't hurt that bad, did it?" Denji raised his hands nervously, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. "C-Come on, I'll pay you-"
I narrowed my eyes.
He rummaged through his pockets and pulled out an old wallet that had clearly seen better days. The leather was torn in place, and faded where it was not. When he opened it, there was only a single outdated 100 yen coin lying in there.
"See? Oh-" His eyes widened, "-I didn't know that was in there."
He quickly pocketed the wallet.
What a trashy person.
Power peeked over my shoulder. "You told me you didn't have anything!"
"Shush! Shuuush!"
I clenched my fists.
-
Both teenagers sat on the asphalt road in perfect seizas. Their faces were bruised on one side each, but they did not dare raise their hands to rub away the pain. They did not even dare raise their eyes to stare at me.
"Unfair. Why does the great Power-sama have to grovel-"
"What's that?"
"-N-Nothing, sir!"
"Now, Denji, was it?"
"Y-Yes, sir!"
"Where were you two headed?"
Hopefully, it was somewhere interesting, for their sake. If they led me to somewhere fun, I was even willing to overlook the attacks on my person, and the continuous assault on my nose by the disgusting odour Power was releasing.
"I needed Denji's help to rescue my Meowy." Power sulked noisily. She pointed a finger at the barn atop the small hill rising beside us. "The Bat Devil is holding her in there."
I raised a brow at Denji.
"It's true. I swear! Why the hell would I leave my AC room for nothing? She promised she'd let me touch her boobs if I helped."
For a slight moment, I was taken aback. Then, I couldn't help but accept his decision. I would do much more for a chance like that... but not when the person smelled as bad as Power did.
Still, I crouched down in front of Denji, and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I won't judge a fellow man of culture. No, I'll help out."
The Bat Devil sounded like something awesome.
The blonde teenager shivered. "That's a creepy ass smile. You won't try to touch me weirdly or something in there, right?"
"I'm not into dudes so no."
He thought for a moment, then shrugged casually, "Sounds legit."
"Woah... master-sir's a pervert."
I was coming to learn that this talking rabbit really had no tact at all.
"Wait-" Power leapt to her feet, "-I never agreed to that. But, you're strong, human-sama. Maybe if you help, we can really..."
-
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