Once again, I need your help with the lines T.T

Please point out if I made a grammatical mistake or used an unnatural expression in the comic line #1~10! 

Also, if you have got a more natural line than my lines that I wrote, please feel free to suggest it.

(furthermore, #9 - #10 still doesn't come up with a proper line, urgh...) 

I always need your help, Patrons! :D