Issei stared slackjawed at the giant ball of yellow fluff towering over him. Said ball of yellow fluff stared back at him with a rather vacant expression.
"You know, when you said I'd be surrounded by chicks at this gig, this isn't what I happened to have in mind."
Satan shrugged rather nonchalantly. "Yeah well, expect disappointments in life, kid."
He snorted. "No kidding."
And as he peered around the wall of yellow fluff, Issei couldn't but notice the several hundreds, if not thousands, of giant chickens walking around the vast plains. Digging at the earth and gobbling grains and comically large worms and insects.
"Soo... where exactly are we?" Issei asked.
"My chicken farm."
Issei blinked at him in question. "Satan has a chicken farm?"
"Satan has a chicken farm," the Dark Lord affirmed.
"Uhh... why?"
He received a flat and somewhat exasperated stare. "My girlfriend is a giant dragon, my Knight is a giant wolf and my Rook is just a giant. It takes a lot of food to feed them. That's not even counting the logistical nightmare of my army of ravenous, cannibalistic monsters. Ergo, chicken farm."
Issei nodded slowly. That made sense to him, and yet...
"But why am I here?"
Satan pointed towards the horizon. "See that fence?"
Said fence was actually a giant wall of solid black obsidian writhing with magic, but Issei was experienced enough with the supernatural world to just go along with the bullshit at this point. "Yeah, I see the fence."
"Get all the chickens on the other side of the fence." And with that, Satan vanished.
Seemed easy enough, but as soon as the dark presence of the Demon Lord disappeared, the previously docile giant chick turned to look at him with a condescending glare.
"Oi! What are you staring at, furball! Get moving!"
For the rest of his life, Issei would never acknowledge nor admit to anyone that the giant chick proceeded to punt him over a hill.======Meril says: Infernal Chickens are the most commonly raised livestock in the Underworld due their immensely quick growth, with a newly hatched chick reaching adulthood in roughly eight weeks. They are the staple source of protien within the Devil Empire, with the Ministry of Commerce estimating nearly two-hundred billion of them consumed annually. However, the Infernal Chicken is known to possess a rather violent temperment and, coupled with their immense size, it is recommended that only experienced Devils of Mid-Class or higher seek to raise and domesticate them.
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A/N: I dunno, I was talking with someone about how to make chicken thighs and this scene randomly popped into my head. One day I'll write a story about how Ichigo's personal chefs are also commandos who go exploring and adventuring into the wilds of Infernity to secure the best ingredients. And of Tiamat sitting in full dragon form with her tail curled around her legs like some giant cat, staring unblinkingly as the chefs butcher and cook the prey that she hunts and brings them.