Corporate compliance is terrifying enough on its own… but today’s Evil Inc shows how it could get so much worse! Meanwhile, Dr. Muskiday storms into Cassie Cruz’s office with an urgent warning...
’Ringo Awards — Last Chance
The nomination round for the Ringo Awards closes on Thursday! If you’ve been enjoying Evil Inc, Evil Inc After Dark, or any of my recent work, I’d be honored if you considered tossing a nomination my way. https://go.evil-inc.net/ringo
Transcript
Panel 1:
Dr. Muskiday, bursting into Cassie Cruz’s office:Cassie! You need to send everybody home — NOW!
Panel 2:
(Inset panel) Cassie Cruz: I can’t do that! The quarterly wellness surveys are due by five o’clock, and if we miss compliance, corporate will send that insufferable motivational speaker again.
Susan, a supervillain motivational speaker, speaks to the assembled villains of Evil Inc: People said I’d never weaponize my childhood trauma. Look at me now.
The whiteboard has a number of phrases written in it:
Failure isn’t falling into a volcano. Failure is falling into the same volcano twice.
A hero is just a villain with better P.R.
Susan Says… Your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength… unless your weakness is silver, garlic, or emotional intimacy.
Panel 3:
Dr. Muskiday: You don’t understand! The micronanos are evolving into MACRONANOES!
Panel 4:
Dr. Muskiday: They’ll control everybody in the office. We have to get everyone out of here before…
Panel 5:
Dr. Muskiday (continues): ...it’s too late.
There is an emoji cloud enveloping Cassie’s entire head.
Alt Text
Five-panel “Evil Inc” comic set inside the Evil Inc office.
Panel 1: Dr. Muskiday bursts into Cassie Cruz’s office in a panic. His insect-like eyes are wide, his arms thrown dramatically into the air as he shouts, “Cassie! You need to send everybody home — NOW!” Cassie sits calmly behind her desk, turned toward him in surprise. Her office contains a laptop, paperwork, and pink file boxes.
Panel 2: An inset panel shows Cassie responding nervously from her office chair: “I can’t do that! The quarterly wellness surveys are due by five o’clock, and if we miss compliance, corporate will send that insufferable motivational speaker again…” The rest of the panel cuts to a seminar room where a stylish supervillain motivational speaker named Susan addresses a bored-looking audience of villains seated in folding chairs. Susan is an older woman with swept-back silver hair, glasses, and a dramatic purple outfit with a high collar. She gestures confidently while declaring, “People said I’d never weaponize my childhood trauma. Look at me now.” Behind her, a whiteboard displays ridiculous motivational slogans, including: “Failure isn’t falling into a volcano. Failure is falling into the same volcano twice,” “A hero is just a villain with better P.R.,” and “Susan Says… Your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength… unless your weakness is silver, garlic, or emotional intimacy.”
Panel 3: Back in Cassie’s office, Dr. Muskiday leans forward urgently, shouting, “You don’t understand! The micronanos are evolving into MACRONANOES!” The word “MACRONANOES!” appears in huge bold lettering dominating the panel. Cassie remains seated behind her desk, still not fully grasping the severity of the situation.
Panel 4: Dr. Muskiday runs frantically across the office floor with his arms spread wide. He warns, “They’ll take control of everybody in the office! We have to get everyone outta here before…” His lab coat and green tie trail behind him dramatically as he rushes toward the reader.
Panel 5: Dr. Muskiday stops in horror and quietly finishes, “…it’s too late.” Across the desk, Cassie’s entire head has been engulfed by a giant pink, fluffy-looking emoji cloud with angry eyes and a furious expression. The cloud hovers where her head should be, implying the evolving nanotech has already taken over her emotions.