Disclaimer: This story is purely fiction. All characters in this story are adults over 18.
Chapter 157:
(The beginning is R-18, you can skip down if you want.)
– Haru –
I learned something important about incredibly happy, incredibly aroused kitsune kunoichi that night.
They were terrifying.
Pregnancy hormones apparently gave them limitless stamina, and the Uzumaki bloodline supplied whatever insanity the hormones couldn’t. Tsunade had taken one look at the three of us after the proposals and offered us a bedroom in the Senju compound.
“The Uzumaki apartment won’t survive,” she’d said.
Several hours later, I could admit she had been completely correct.
I lay naked on my back across the thoroughly abused bed, every muscle heavy with exhaustion and pleasure. The sheets were tangled beneath me. One corner of the headboard had cracked. My ten golden tails spilled over both sides of the mattress, twitching helplessly whenever either woman moved.
Naruko straddled my thighs, just as naked and flushed as I was. Her long red hair clung to her face and shoulders, and all nine of her crimson tails writhed behind her in a wild, tangled fan.
She rose along my sensitive cock before dropping again, taking me completely.
“Fuck—Naruko,” I groaned.
Her wet pussy clenched around me in response.
Even after so many rounds, she remained impossibly tight. Every downward motion wrapped me in slick heat, her inner muscles gripping and dragging along my oversensitive length. Our earlier releases coated her thighs and glistened where our bodies met, making every movement obscenely smooth.
Naruko planted her hands on my chest and bounced faster. “H-Haru!” she cried. “You feel so fucking good!”
Her breasts shook above me. I caught one of her hips with my hand while two tails curled around her waist, steadying her without restricting her movements. My instincts remained intensely aware of the tiny life growing inside her, even while the rest of my mind dissolved beneath the pleasure.
“Slow down,” I managed.
Naruko answered by slamming herself onto me harder. “Don’t tell an Uzumaki to slow down!”
I would have offered a witty response, but Kushina chose that moment to grind her pussy across my mouth.
She straddled my face with her knees braced on either side of my head, her gorgeous body arching above me. Her own nine crimson tails spread across my chest and mingled with Naruko’s, their fur brushing my skin in maddening waves.
Kushina rocked her hips, smearing her arousal over my lips. I had a beautful view of her pink pussy and jiggling ass cheeks as she moved.
“Do not neglect me, anata,” she breathed.
As if I would dare.
I tightened my hold on Naruko and dragged my tongue through Kushina’s soaked folds. Her taste flooded my mouth. Rich, warm, and wonderfully familiar. I circled her swollen clit before sucking it between my lips.
Kushina’s entire body jerked. “A-Ah! Yes, just like that!” She grabbed one of my ears for balance. Her fingers stroked through its fur, adding another thread of pleasure to the overwhelming knot already winding inside me.
I groaned against her pussy.
The vibration made Kushina shudder.
Naruko’s pace became frantic. She rolled her hips every time she descended, grinding her clit against me while my cock pressed deep inside her. Her nails dug into my chest, leaving shallow crescents that healed almost as quickly as she made them.
“You’re getting close again,” she gasped. “I can feel your cock getting bigger inside me!” Naruko moaned breathlessly, but the sound broke into an even lower moan when one of my tails slipped between her thighs.
The soft tip rubbed her clit as she rode me, timing every stroke with the upward thrust of my hips.
Her pussy tightened violently. “Oh, fuck you!”
“You currently are.”
She slapped my chest, though there was no force behind it. “Smartass.”
Kushina tugged my ear.
I took the hint and returned my full attention to her. I pressed my tongue into her pussy, thrusting it as deeply as I could while my lips rubbed against her clit. Kushina rode my face with shameless enthusiasm, chasing every flick and thrust.
Her thighs trembled around my head.
“That’s it, anata,” she moaned. “Eat your woman’s pussy. Make me cum for you!”
Any remaining coherent thoughts abandoned me.
I alternated between fucking her with my tongue and sucking her clit, matching the rhythm Naruko set on my cock. Pleasure burned through me from every direction. Naruko’s wet heat squeezed me relentlessly. Kushina’s taste covered my mouth. Their soft tails slid across my body while their moans filled the room.
My own tails curled around them both, tightening instinctively.
Naruko leaned forward until her face hovered above Kushina’s. Mother and daughter stared at one another through pleasure-glazed eyes, their flushed faces close enough for their noses to brush.
Kushina smiled down at her.
“Is my daughter enjoying her fiancé?”
Naruko gave another hard bounce, making me grunt beneath them. “Very much!”
“Greedy girl.”
“Hey! You’re sitting on his face!”
“And?”
Naruko apparently had no answer to that.
Kushina laughed, until I curled my tongue inside her and sucked hard. Her laughter became a broken cry.
Naruko’s rhythm faltered. Her pussy fluttered around me, and I felt my control unravel. My cock had been sensitive several rounds ago. Now every slick contraction sent pleasure straight through my spine.
“Naruko,” I warned against Kushina’s flesh.
She understood my muffled groan perfectly.
Her nine tails flared as she planted her feet more firmly against the mattress. Then she began fucking herself down onto me with desperate, pounding movements! “Yes,” she groaned. “Come inside me again, Haru. Fill me up.”
My hips surged upward.
Naruko cried out as I drove as deeply as her body would take me. Her pussy clamped around my cock, milking me with every frantic contraction.
The pressure snapped. I came hard.
A hoarse groan tore from my throat as my cock pulsed inside Naruko, spilling deep into her already-soaked pussy. The force of it made my entire body seize beneath them. My fingers dug into Naruko’s hips while my tails held both women against me.
Naruko threw her head back. “Haru!” Her orgasm crashed through her a heartbeat later. Her body shook above me, hips bucking helplessly while her pussy clenched around my spurting cock. Fresh wetness ran down my shaft and spread across my thighs.
I kept thrusting through it, giving her everything I had left.
At the same moment, I buried my tongue inside Kushina and rubbed her clit with my upper lip.
Kushina screamed. Her thighs locked around my head. Her pussy spasmed against my mouth before a hot gush flooded my tongue and splashed across my lips and cheeks.
She squirted hard enough to soak my face.
I swallowed what I could and continued licking her through every tremor. Kushina ground herself against my mouth until the last aftershock had passed, gasping my name between broken repetitions of anata.
For several seconds, none of us moved.
Naruko remained impaled on my softening cock, her body trembling above me. Kushina slowly lifted her hips, finally allowing me to breathe without a beautiful redheaded goddess smothering me.
I dragged in a ragged breath. “That,” I rasped, “was attempted murder.”
Kushina looked down at my drenched face and smiled with blatant satisfaction. “You survived.”
“Barely.”
Naruko bent forward, catching her mother by the back of the neck.
Their lips met above me.
It wasn’t a delicate kiss. They kissed sloppily and hungrily, open mouths fitting together as their tongues tangled. Soft moans passed between them while their crimson tails twisted together behind their bodies.
I could only lie there and watch.
Naruko rocked her hips once, deliberately squeezing my exhausted cock.
I groaned.
She smiled against Kushina’s mouth.
The two women finally separated, connected by a glistening strand that broke when Kushina licked her lips. Both looked thoroughly satisfied, beautifully disheveled, and far too energetic for women who had spent hours draining every scrap of strength from my body.
Naruko looked down at me. Her eyes were still dilated and full of lust.
“No,” I said immediately.
She tilted her head with exaggerated innocence. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Your pussy just threatened me.”
Kushina laughed and lowered herself beside my head. She stroked damp hair away from my forehead before kissing me, slow and affectionate. “You did wonderfully, anata.”
Naruko finally lifted herself from my cock. A warm mixture of our cum escaped her pussy and trickled down my shaft. She watched it with a pleased, possessive expression before collapsing across my chest.
Her ear settled over my pounding heart.
Several of my tails curled around both women, wrapping us in a warm cocoon of gold and crimson fur. Kushina rested her head against my shoulder while Naruko drew lazy circles across my stomach.
For one wonderful minute, peace settled over the destroyed bedroom.
Then Naruko’s fingers drifted lower.
I caught her wrist. “No.”
“But Haru—”
“We have been doing this for SIX hours.”
Kushina’s hand began sliding down my other side.
I caught that wrist too.
“Both of you are carrying my children,” I said. “How do you have this much energy?”
The women exchanged a conspiratorial look.
“Hormones,” Kushina said.
“Uzumaki stamina,” Naruko added.
“Fox instincts,” they finished together.
I should have known my refusal wouldn’t survive contact with two determined Uzumaki women.
Naruko and Kushina exchanged a glance over my chest. Their identical purple eyes glittered with the same dangerous amusement.
Then they descended on me together.
Naruko caught my jaw and kissed me first, swallowing my startled breath. Kushina joined from the other side a heartbeat later, her lips pressing against the corner of my mouth before forcing their way into the kiss.
It became a hot, chaotic tangle of mouths and tongues. Their tongues stroked mine and occasionally brushed each other, making both women moan against my lips.
My hands found their waists instinctively. Several of my tails wrapped around their naked bodies, pulling them closer until their breasts pressed against my chest.
I had been exhausted seconds ago.
My body was already reconsidering.
Naruko drew back just far enough to nip my lower lip. “You said no,” she whispered.
“I meant it.”
Kushina kissed along my jaw. “Then why are your tails holding us?”
“Those traitors have minds of their own…” One golden tail curled around Kushina’s thigh as if determined to prove my point.
Naruko laughed before kissing me again. Kushina joined her, and the three-way kiss deepened until I couldn’t tell whose tongue was teasing mine.
They eventually broke away together, both breathing harder.
Naruko’s lips were flushed and wet. Kushina’s pupils had expanded until only thin rings of purple remained around the dark slits.
Their attention shifted downward.
“No,” I repeated, considerably less convincingly.
They ignored me.
Kushina kissed the center of my chest while Naruko’s mouth moved across my peck. Their red hair spilled over my skin as they descended, lips and tongues leaving damp trails behind.
Naruko found one of the shallow marks she had scratched into me earlier and licked it just as my regeneration erased the final trace. “Show-off,” she murmured.
“Sorry my body heals?”
“You should be. I worked hard on those love marks!”
Kushina dragged her tongue around one of my nipples, cutting off my response. A second later, Naruko sucked the other between her lips.
My back arched.
They laughed softly against me.
The two of them continued down my stomach. Kushina kissed each ridge of my abdomen with almost reverent patience, while Naruko followed a less orderly path, alternating between hot open-mouthed kisses and playful bites.
Their tails swept over my legs and chest, surrounding me in crimson fur. My own tails twitched beneath them whenever their lips reached a sensitive spot.
By the time they arrived at my hips, my cock had begun stirring between my thighs.
It was still coated in the evidence of what we had already done. My release glistened along my shaft and pooled around the base, mingled with Naruko’s arousal. More streaked my balls and the inside of my thighs.
Kushina settled between my legs and regarded the mess with a pleased smile. “Our fiancé appears to require some help getting hard again.”
Naruko crawled beside her. “Then we should fix that!”
“You should let your fiancé rest,” I argued.
Naruko bent down and ran the tip of her tongue along my soft cock.
My argument became a groan.
Kushina smiled knowingly. “He does not sound tired to me.”
“I am extremely tired.”
Naruko licked another slow path from the base to the tip. “Liar.”
Kushina leaned in beside her. Her tongue moved across my balls, cleaning away the cum clinging to my skin. Naruko concentrated on my shaft, dragging her mouth over every sticky trace left behind.
They worked together with obscene thoroughness.
Kushina lifted my cock gently so she could lick beneath it. Her warm tongue swept over my balls before drawing one into her mouth. She sucked softly, carefully, and the sensation sent a jolt through my entire body.
Naruko’s lips closed around my tip.
“Fuck!”
She hummed around me. The vibration rolled down my shaft and tightened every muscle in my abdomen. My cock hardened visibly between them, swelling against Naruko’s tongue as Kushina continued cleaning my balls with slow, deliberate licks.
Naruko pulled away and admired the result. “See? Much better.”
“You two are going to kill me.”
Kushina released me with a wet pop. “An Uzumaki woman does not accept a fiancé who gives up halfway!”
“Halfway?” I stared at her. “We started hours ago.”
“And we still have hours before breakfast.”
That statement should have terrified me.
Instead, my cock throbbed against Naruko’s cheek.
Naruko grinned and wrapped her lips around me again.
She swallowed almost half my length in one smooth movement. Her cheeks hollowed as she sucked, tongue rubbing firmly along the underside. One hand curled around my base, stroking whatever her mouth couldn’t take while her other hand massaged my balls.
I groaned and sank deeper into the ruined sheets.
Naruko bobbed faster. Her lips slid along my sensitive shaft, leaving it shining with saliva. Every downward motion took me closer to her throat before she retreated, teasing my swollen head with quick flicks of her tongue.
Kushina watched with unmistakable approval. “Good girl,” she murmured.
Naruko’s purple eyes lifted toward her mother while her mouth remained full of my cock.
Kushina gathered Naruko’s damp red hair and held it away from her face. The sight alone nearly ended what little control I had left.
Naruko continued for another minute before Kushina touched her shoulder. “My turn.”
Naruko pulled away reluctantly, a thin strand connecting her lower lip to my cock. “Don’t take too long.”
Kushina gave her daughter an amused glance. She leaned over me and took my cock into her mouth. Kushina’s technique was completely different. Naruko had been all passion and relentless. Kushina was slow, controlled, and mercilessly aware of every reaction she pulled from me.
She rolled her tongue around my head before taking another inch. Then another. Her eyes remained locked on mine as she steadily swallowed my length. Her throat relaxed, and she sank lower until her nose nearly touched my pelvis.
My tails snapped rigid. “Kushina…”
She held me there, throat pulsing around my cock while Naruko stroked my thighs. Kushina finally pulled back, gasping softly as my length slipped from her mouth. She gave the head a lingering kiss and smiled. “Yes, anata?”
“You know exactly what you’re doing.”
“Of course I do.”
Naruko pushed Kushina’s shoulder impatiently. “Switch!”
They traded places again.
Naruko sucked me hard and fast until my hips began moving of their own accord. Kushina kissed and licked my balls, occasionally running her tongue up my shaft to meet Naruko’s mouth.
Then they switched once more.
Kushina deep-throated me while Naruko stroked the base. Naruko’s thumb pressed into the sensitive spot beneath my head whenever Kushina pulled back, ensuring the pleasure never faded.
My cock became painfully hard between them.
Every nerve felt raw from hours of use. Their lips, tongues, and hands turned that sensitivity into something almost unbearable. Pressure gathered at the base of my spine, hot and heavy, while my balls tightened beneath Naruko’s fingers.
“I’m close,” I warned.
Neither woman stopped.
Kushina sucked harder.
Naruko’s tongue circled my balls before sliding upward to join her mother at the base of my shaft.
Pleasure surged through me.
I caught Kushina gently by the hair and pulled her mouth away before I lost control. She released me with a wet gasp, looking up with dazed, hungry eyes.
Naruko frowned. “Why did you stop her?”
I forced myself upright.
The room swayed slightly.
Hours of sex had left my legs less reliable than I wanted to admit, so two of my tails braced against the mattress and helped push me to my feet. Naruko and Kushina watched my cock bob heavily before them, swollen and shining with their saliva.
“On your knees,” I said confidently.
Their expressions changed instantly.
Naruko and Kushina moved together. They slipped from the mattress and knelt on the floor at my feet, naked bodies pressed close, crimson tails spreading around them like a living carpet.
Their resemblance struck me with almost painful clarity.
The same long red hair.
The same fox ears.
The same beautiful violet eyes looking up at me with open desire.
Kushina rested one hand on Naruko’s thigh.
Naruko leaned against her mother’s shoulder.
Their naked bodies pressed close together.
I wrapped one hand around my cock and began stroking.
“Open your mouths!”
They smirked at one another before obeying. Their lips parted. Both women extended their tongues, holding perfectly still while watching my fist move faster along my shaft.
The sight nearly destroyed me. Their eyes tracked every movement. Naruko made a soft, encouraging sound. Kushina’s fingers squeezed her daughter’s thigh.
I pumped faster, my grip sliding over the slick shaft while the two women waited beneath me with their mouths open and their tongues out. Pleasure tightened through my abdomen.
My tails flared behind me. “Fuck,” I groaned.
Two gorgeous kitsune knelt at my feet, carrying my children and waiting eagerly for my cum. Their breasts rose and fell with their breathing.
Naruko leaned forward slightly. “Come on, Haru!”
Kushina’s tongue curled toward me. “Give it to us, anata!”
My balls drew tight. I groaned as the orgasm hit!
The first thick rope of cum erupted across Naruko’s extended tongue and splashed over her cheek. She moaned without closing her mouth.
A second streak painted Kushina’s lips and nose.
I kept stroking, my cock pulsing violently as release shot across both of their faces. Warm cum streaked their cheeks, mouths, and chins, catching in strands of red hair. Naruko shifted closer to Kushina so neither missed a drop, their upturned faces accepting everything I gave them.
The final spurts landed across their tongues.
My knees nearly buckled.
Naruko and Kushina remained kneeling as I emptied myself on their faces, both wearing identical expressions of wicked satisfaction. When my cock finally stopped pulsing, they closed their mouths and swallowed together.
Naruko wiped a streak from Kushina’s cheek with one finger and licked it clean.
Kushina returned the favor, gathering cum from Naruko’s chin before sucking her fingertip.
They looked at me again.
I pointed toward the bed with what little authority I had left. “We are sleeping now.”
Naruko’s smile widened.
Kushina rose gracefully and kissed the sensitive tip of my cock. “Of course, anata,” she said.
I didn’t trust her tone at all.
(R-18 End)
– Haru –
(If you skipped to here, the only thing you missed is they spent the night at Tsunade's Senju compound because she figured the Uzumaki apartment might not survive Kushina and Naruko's excitment.)
The Senju compound had the peculiar stillness of a house maintained more often than it was lived in.
There wasn’t any dust. The wooden counters gleamed, every knife had a sharp edge, and the stove lit on the first attempt. Even the old cast-iron pans had been properly seasoned. Someone clearly kept the place ready for Tsunade, despite the fact that she spent most nights either in the Hokage residence, asleep over paperwork, or passed out somewhere with an empty sake bottle nearby.
Fortunately, she also kept food stocked.
Unfortunately, her definition of stocked appeared to mean rice, eggs, miso, half a cabbage, green onions, several bottles of sake, and enough gambling snacks to feed a small army of delinquent children.
I supplemented those supplies with emergency ingredients from my storage space: thick-cut bacon, butter, fresh mushrooms, several tomatoes, a loaf of milk bread, and a bundle of herbs from Enri’s greenhouses.
The result was quickly becoming a breakfast worthy of three people who had spent the previous twelve hours engaged in strenuous physical activity.
I stood shirtless before the stove, wearing loose black trousers with space cut for my tails. Three of my ten golden tails managed separate pans while I concentrated on the eggs.
One stirred mushrooms and bacon. Another tended the miso soup. A third kept the rice from scorching while I folded a thick omelet around green onions, cheese, and thin slices of tomato.
My body still felt pleasantly abused.
Every muscle carried a deep, heavy ache. There were no marks left on my skin, my regeneration had handled those, but I remembered exactly where Naruko’s nails had scratched me and where Kushina had bitten my shoulder hard enough to draw blood.
Even my tails felt exhausted.
I hadn’t known tails could become exhausted.
Soft footsteps approached from the hallway.
I recognized them before the kitchen door slid open. Tsunade entered wearing a loose green robe over a black shirt and shorts, her long blonde hair pulled into a messy ponytail.
She was also flushed. It wasn’t obvious beneath her teasing expression, but I saw the color across her cheeks and heard the slightly elevated rhythm of her heart. Apparently, even the legendary Fifth Hokage hadn’t been entirely unaffected by what she’d overheard.
Her brown eyes traveled slowly over my shirtless body. Then she gave a sharp wolf whistle. “Damn, fox-boy.”
I nearly dropped the spatula.
Tsunade leaned against the doorframe, arms folding beneath her considerable chest. “Shinobi are known for their stamina, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone having sex for twelve hours straight.”
“It wasn’t twelve hours straight….”
Her eyebrow rose skeptically.
I turned back to the omelet. “...There were water breaks.”
Tsunade stared at me for half a second. Then she threw her head back and laughed. The sound filled the quiet compound. I pretended to be intensely focused on folding the eggs while the tips of my ears burned. “Former jinchūriki turned kitsune,” Tsunade said once she recovered. “Those two are something else alright."
A small shudder moved through me. “That is certainly one way to describe them.”
Kushina and Naruko had apparently developed limitless reserves of stamina somewhere between becoming nine-tailed kitsune, getting pregnant, and accepting my proposals. None of my other lovers had ever been so relentlessly horny.
That didn’t diminish my love for either of them.
It did make me question whether I needed to add stamina training to my daily routine. I didn’t know Demon Lords could physically get drained like that…
Tsunade’s grin widened as if she could hear my thoughts.
I plated the first omelet and began another. “Why aren’t you at the Hokage’s office?”
Tsunade shrugged. “My shadow clone has it all handled.”
I looked at her.
She looked at me.
After a moment, I nodded. “Fair enough.”
I regularly left shadow clones in charge of the Fox Hole while dealing with emergencies in other dimensions. I couldn’t judge Tsunade for using the same technique to avoid several mountains of paperwork.
Eventually, her clone would dispel and deposit an entire morning of bureaucratic memories directly into her skull, but that was a problem for future Tsunade.
I respected the philosophy.
Tsunade wandered farther into the kitchen, lifting lids and inspecting pans without permission. “That smells good.”
“It should. I’m making enough food to restore everything those two drained from me.”
She peered into the pan of bacon and mushrooms. “I’ll take a plate.”
I glanced at her over my shoulder.
“For lending the three of you my ancestral home,” she added. “And you’re paying the cleaning bill for that bedroom.”
Heat climbed into my face again. “Cleaning bill?”
“And the furniture will need to be replaced I’m sure.”
My spatula stopped moving.
Tsunade began counting on her fingers. “New bed frame, replacement headboard, fresh sheets, possibly new tatami. One of the wall seals cracked, and I’m having someone inspect the floorboards.”
“The floorboards?”
“My compound was built to withstand enemy attacks, Haru. It wasn’t designed for three demonic foxes celebrating an engagement.”
I covered my face with one hand.
Tsunade grinned without mercy. “Don’t worry. I know you can afford it.”
“That isn’t the problem.”
“What is?”
“My dignity.”
“You lost that around hour four.”
I slowly lowered my hand. “How could you possibly know when—”
“The entire compound has excellent acoustics.”
I considered throwing myself into the stove. Too bad I was fireproof…
Instead, I focused on breakfast.
Beyond the kitchen walls, running water carried through the old pipes. Kushina and Naruko were still in the shower, their muffled voices occasionally rising above the spray.
A burst of laughter echoed down the hall.
I felt myself smile despite everything.
Tsunade noticed. Her teasing expression softened. “They’re happy,” she said.
“They are.”
“Kushina didn’t get enough of that in her first life. Neither did Naruko.”
I turned the bacon and lowered the heat.
Tsunade looked toward the hallway, something older and sadder passing through her eyes. “I’m glad they have you,” she continued. “All the insanity aside.”
The sincerity caught me off guard. “Thank you.”
“Don’t make me regret saying it.”
“I’ll try.”
“And take care of them.”
I met her gaze. “Always.”
She held my eyes for another moment before nodding, apparently satisfied.
Then she stole a strip of bacon directly from the pan.
I slapped her hand with the spatula.
“Ow! This is my kitchen!”
“Not while I’m cooking.”
Tsunade glared at me as she ate the stolen bacon anyway.
I finished four plates, each piled with omelet, rice, bacon, mushrooms, and thick slices of toasted milk bread. Bowls of miso soup accompanied them, along with fresh fruit I retrieved from storage.
Tsunade examined the enormous portions. “Is all that for four people?”
“This is your plate.” I pointed toward the smallest serving. “That one is mine.”
“And the two plates large enough to feed a jonin squad?”
“Naruko and Kushina.”
“Will that be enough?”
I listened to the shower turn off. “Probably not.” The bathroom door opened somewhere down the hall. Soft footsteps followed, accompanied by the swish of numerous tails and Naruko complaining that Kushina had used all the good conditioner.
I set their plates at the table.
Tsunade took her seat and reached for the largest portion.
One of my tails smacked her wrist away.
“That one belongs to my pregnant fiancée.”
“You have two pregnant fiancées.”
“Which is why there are two plates.”
Tsunade reluctantly took the smaller serving.
A moment later, Kushina’s voice floated toward us from the hall. “Anata, something smells wonderful!”
Naruko answered before I could. “That better be breakfast! I’m starving!”
Tsunade met my eyes across the table.
I sighed and reached back into my storage for more bacon.
The Senju compound’s porch had survived the morning considerably better than its guest bedroom.
Warm sunlight spilled across the courtyard, catching on the leaves and turning the dew into tiny points of light. A faint breeze carried the scents of grass, old wood, and the remains of breakfast from the open kitchen window.
I sat with my back against one of the porch pillars, enjoying what little strength remained in my body.
Naruko cuddled against my right side with her head resting on my shoulder. Kushina occupied my left, pressed close enough that I could feel her warmth through our clothes. Their nine crimson tails mingled with my ten golden ones, covering most of the porch in an enormous nest of fur.
They had been very affectionate since leaving the bedroom.
Suspiciously affectionate.
It was probably guilt.
Or they were ensuring I recovered enough stamina for another attack.
Considering the satisfied smiles they had worn all morning, I suspected the second possibility.
Tsunade sat a short distance away with her back against the railing. She had acquired a bottle of sake at some point after breakfast and was drinking directly from it. Apparently, it was never too early for alcohol when one was the Hokage and had assigned a shadow clone to deal with the consequences.
Kushina stroked one of my tails across her lap. “...I still think they should spend at least part of their childhood in Konoha,” she said. “They should know where we came from.”
Naruko made a thoughtful sound. One hand rested unconsciously over her stomach. Her pregnancy still wasn’t visible, but I could hear the tiny heartbeat growing within her. I could hear Kushina’s child as well. The two faint rhythms had already become some of my favorite sounds in any world.
“I want my child to know Konoha,” Naruko agreed. “I’m just not sure I want them raised to be a shinobi.”
Kushina nodded slowly.
Neither woman sounded entirely comfortable admitting that.
They loved being kunoichi. They took pride in their strength, their techniques, and everything they had accomplished. Naruko had fought for the village even when many of its people had treated her as a monster. Kushina had crossed an ocean and left Uzushiogakure behind to become Konoha’s jinchūriki.
Neither of them regretted learning how to fight. That didn’t mean they wanted the same life for their children.
“I want them to be strong,” Naruko continued. “Strong enough that nobody can hurt them or make their decisions for them. But I don’t want some old bastard putting a mission scroll in their hands when they’re twelve and telling them to go kill someone.”
“Twelve is optimistic,” Tsunade muttered.
Naruko’s ears flattened.
Kushina stared into the courtyard. “Being able to defend yourself and being raised as a weapon are not the same thing.” Her voice had grown quieter. She understood that distinction better than most.
Kushina had been brought to Konoha because she possessed a special chakra capable of restraining Kurama. The village had valued her, protected her, and eventually allowed her to build a life, but the reason she had been chosen remained the same.
She had been a suitable container for a weapon.
Naruko had inherited that burden in this timeline.
I tightened my arms around both women. “My children won’t be raised as weapons.”
Naruko glanced up at me. “Our children.”
I kissed the top of her head. “Our children.”
Kushina smiled and nestled closer.
“I was thinking about my mother’s palace,” I said.
Naruko’s ears perked up. “Yasaka-sama’s palace?”
“It would give me greater peace of mind. Kyoto is safe, the palace is protected, and there would always be family nearby.” Calling the palace protected was an understatement. Yasaka’s barriers alone could repel armies. Kyoto was filled with yokai loyal to her, and any enemy stupid enough to attack my children would also have to deal with me. Then there were the other residents. “Frigga and Hela already live there full-time,” I continued. “They’d be close enough to help.”
At this point I don’t know if Hela will even want to rule Asgard after overthrowing Odin, or decided to just stay in my world with Frigga and dump the throne on Thor instead.
Tsunade lowered her sake bottle. “You want Hela helping raise your children?”
“She’s very good with Myrcella.”
“She’s the Norse goddess of… death.”
“Those statements aren’t mutually exclusive.”
Naruko laughed.
Kushina considered it more seriously. “Frigga would be a wonderful influence.”
“And Hela would teach them how to conquer neighboring kingdoms before they learned multiplication,” I admitted. “But Frigga would probably balance that out.”
“Probably?” Naruko asked.
“It would be educational.”
One of Kushina’s tails flicked me across the stomach.
“Mother told me she wouldn’t mind the rest of the family moving into the palace when everyone was ready to settle down,” I said.
“The rest of the family?” Kushina repeated knowingly.
“The harem,” Tsunade translated before taking another drink.
I pointed at her. “Nobody asked you.”
“Didn’t need to.”
Naruko’s shoulders shook with quiet laughter.
Moving everyone into Yasaka’s palace wasn’t something that would happen soon. Some of my women had kingdoms, schools, missions, or entire worlds demanding their attention. Rias wanted to finish school and attend college before marrying. Daenerys had only recently surrendered her throne and started building a new life. Ranni had obligations I suspected would continue until the stars themselves burned out.
For some of them, settling down might take years.
For others, decades.
Possibly centuries.
Immortality made planning family reunions unnecessarily complicated.
“I wouldn’t want to abandon Konoha immediately,” Naruko said. “Not while it still needs us.”
“Neither would I,” Kushina agreed. “But my future children always come first…”
Tsunade released a short, humorless laugh.
We turned toward her.
She stared down at the sake bottle in her hand. “This village was my grandfather’s dream,” she said. “I’m the Hokage, so what I’m about to say might sound terrible.”
“That has never stopped you before,” I observed.
Her eyes narrowed. “Do you want me to add more to your bill?”
I wisely fell silent.
Tsunade looked across the peaceful compound.
“Grandfather believed the village would end the age of children dying on battlefields. He wanted families to stop sending sons and daughters to murder one another over grudges that started generations before they were born.” She took another drink. “We managed to give the children uniforms first.”
The warmth of the morning seemed to fade.
Tsunade’s gaze settled somewhere far beyond the courtyard. “Konoha has failed its children more times than I can count. Jinchūriki were treated like weapons or monsters. The Uchiha were isolated until everything ended in a massacre. Danzo fed children into ROOT and stripped away anything that made them human. Every war created another generation of orphans, and then we trained those orphans to fight the next one.”
Naruko’s hand tightened around mine.
Kushina lowered her eyes.
Tsunade’s mouth twisted bitterly. “And every Hokage tells themselves they’ll fix it.”
“You have fixed some of it,” Kushina said.
“Some.”
“That matters.”
“Not enough.” Tsunade turned the bottle between her fingers. “Then Rias reincarnated me, and I started seeing how other worlds lived. Her world isn’t perfect. Yours definitely isn’t sane. But I’ve seen children attend school without being taught how to slit someone’s throat before graduation. I’ve seen cities that don’t measure peace by how many years have passed since the last army invaded.” She looked at me. “Once I hand the hat to Naruto, I probably won’t come back.”
Naruko and Kushina went completely still. Their ears stood straight. All eighteen of their tails froze around us.
“Naruto?” Naruko asked.
“My son?” Kushina added.
Tsunade blinked. “How many other Narutos do you know?”
Naruko slowly turned toward her mother.
Kushina slowly turned toward her daughter.
A long silence followed.
“Huh,” Naruko said. “Did we forget about him?”
Kushina’s mouth dropped open. “I did not forget my son!”
“When did you last speak to him? Did we even send him a message that we are engaged now?”
Kushina opened her mouth. Nothing emerged. Her brows furrowed as she thought back through the previous day. “I was busy.”
“So was I,” Naruko admitted.
I began mentally reviewing recent events.
There had been the trip to the Forbidden Lands, the gifts, the return to Konoha, the proposals, Sasuke’s rejection, the celebration, and twelve hours of activities that had likely violated several local noise ordinances.
At no point had anyone informed Naruto that I was now engaged to his mother and sister.
Wait? Did anyone ever even tell him they were both pregnant with my children? Ugh, I can’t remember...
“I might have forgotten him a little,” Kushina conceded.
Tsunade pressed the neck of her bottle against her mouth, but it did nothing to conceal her laughter.
“This isn’t funny,” Kushina protested.
“It’s a little funny,” I said. Both women glared at me. I reconsidered. “It’s a tragic failure of familial communication.”
Tsunade’s laughter became louder.
A furious voice thundered down from the sky. “HARU, YOU BASTARD!”
The compound shook.
Birds exploded from the surrounding trees in a panicked cloud.
Kushina winced.
Naruko looked up.
Tsunade stopped laughing long enough to take another drink. “That sounds like him,” she said.
I sighed and began extracting myself from the enormous pile of tails.
Naruko tightened her grip around my waist. “Where are you going?”
“To prevent your brother from destroying Tsunade’s house.”
“He can yell from over there.”
Kushina wrapped two tails around my arm. “The porch is comfortable, anata.”
“You both forgot about him, and now I’m the one who has to deal with this?”
“Yes,” they answered together. Their unity was touching. It was also treacherous.
I freed myself and stood. Both women released disappointed whines as I left the warmth of our shared nest. My tails dragged behind me as I stepped into the middle of the courtyard and looked upward.
A yellow blur tore through the clouds. Naruto struck the courtyard hard enough to produce a thunderous boom. Stone shattered beneath his sandals. Dust and broken tiles erupted around him, forcing Tsunade to shield her sake bottle with her body.
When the dust cleared, Naruto stood in the center of a fresh crater. Nine yellow tails bristled behind him. His fists were clenched, his teeth were bared, and his bright blue eyes burned with outrage. Power rolled off him in waves.
I smiled cautiously. “Good morning, Naruto.”
“Don’t ‘good morning’ me!”
“So you’re upset…?”
“Half the village could hear what you were doing to my okaa-san and onee-chan last night!” His shout was probably audible to the other half.
I glanced back toward the porch.
Naruko and Kushina were blushing.
Neither looked ashamed.
In fact, Kushina gave me a dreamy smile while Naruko’s grin became downright smug.
Tsunade took one look at their expressions and began drinking again.
I turned back to Naruto. “Technically,” I said, “it was more like the two of them were doing things to me.”
Naruto’s right eye twitched.
Behind me, Naruko nodded. “He isn’t wrong.”
“Not remotely,” Kushina agreed.
Naruto made a sound that belonged to a mortally wounded animal. “I DON’T NEED DETAILS!”
“You brought it up,” I pointed out.
“I brought it up because I was trying to sleep!”
That was fair. “Look, I understand that this is probably difficult for you—”
“MY MOTHER AND SISTER!”
“I’m aware.”
“AT THE SAME TIME!”
I paused. That was a dangerous opening, and every survival instinct I possessed told me not to respond. For once, I listened.
Naruto raised one trembling hand. Blue light flared within his palm. Chakra and magicules spiraled together, rotating faster until they formed a brilliant sphere. The courtyard filled with a rising, grinding howl as the technique condensed. This wasn’t the same Rasengan Naruto had used as a young shinobi. Its core was denser. The surrounding currents clawed at the air, and pale-blue arcs of energy snapped across his fingers. Becoming a nine-tailed being had done remarkable things for his power.
His emotional control still needed work.
I noticed neither of my fiancées had told him not to hit me.
Naruto lowered his body into a charging stance. “Rasengan!” He launched himself forward.
I could have dodged. I could have blocked the technique with one finger, absorbed it, redirected it, or caught Naruto with my tails.
Instead, I remained still.
Naruto needed to vent. Allowing him one harmless blow seemed easier than having him follow me through several dimensions while screaming about his trauma.
The Rasengan slammed into the center of my chest.
I grunted.
The technique exploded outward in a cyclone of blue power. My shirt disintegrated instantly, but the attack failed to break my skin. Naruto strained against me, pouring even more chakra and magicules into the sphere.
For a fraction of a second, nothing happened.
Then the force caught up with us.
My feet left the ground.
Naruto remained in the crater with his arm extended as I shot backward across the courtyard.
The porch vanished.
The compound wall passed beneath me.
Konoha became a blur of rooftops as the Rasengan’s momentum hurled me into the sky.
“HARU!” Naruko and Kushina shouted behind me.
“He’s fine!” Tsunade called. She was correct.
I wasn’t injured. I was, however, accelerating. The Hokage Monument flashed below. A flock of birds scattered ahead of me, and I passed through the center of a cloud hard enough to leave a tunnel in it.
Konoha rapidly shrank behind me.
I could have stopped myself with magic. Instead, I folded my arms over my bare chest and allowed my tails to stream behind me. A deeply foolish part of me wanted to discover exactly how much force Naruto had put into that attack.
Forests blurred beneath me. Then rivers. Then mountains.
I crossed the border of the Land of Fire without slowing down.
Several shinobi traveling along a road looked up as I passed overhead. One pointed. Another dove into a ditch. I gave them a small wave.
More mountains appeared.
Then another border.
The Elemental Nations continued scrolling beneath me while I flew through the atmosphere like an extremely confused golden-tailed meteor.
Naruto had become considerably stronger. And letting him get that attack out of his system had probably been the correct decision.
…The good news was that Naruto’s Rasengan hadn’t hurt me. The bad news was that the building in my path hadn’t possessed my durability. I slammed through several layers of concrete before finally stopping inside what appeared to be an empty office. The entire structure groaned around me. Cracks spread across the walls, dust filled the air, and several pieces of furniture toppled over.
For a moment, I remained embedded in the wall with my tails sticking out through the Haru-shaped tunnel behind me.
I could have stopped myself after leaving Konoha.
I should have stopped myself after leaving the Land of Fire.
Instead, I had wanted to discover how far Naruto’s attack could send me.
The answer was apparently through someone’s office.
“I should have dodged,” I muttered. I pulled one arm free and planted my hand against the fractured concrete. More of the wall crumbled as I extracted the rest of my body.
Concrete dust coated my hair, skin, and tails. Whatever remained of my shirt after the Rasengan had finally surrendered during the impact, leaving me shirtless once again.
Between Tsunade’s bedroom and this building, Naruto and I were creating an impressive trail of property damage.
At least the structure remained standing.
I stepped through the hole and looked outside.
Enormous steel and concrete towers rose into a dark sky. Pipes of every imaginable size twisted across their surfaces, linking neighboring buildings and disappearing into the streets below. Elevated walkways stretched over deep canals, while electrical cables formed tangled webs between metal spires.
Illuminated signs glowed through the darkness.
Machinery hummed behind countless walls. Antennas, ventilation shafts, drainage systems, and industrial structures filled nearly every available space.
It looked nothing like Konoha.
For one startled moment, I genuinely wondered whether Naruto had struck me hard enough to blast me through the dimensional barriers.
Compared with Konoha, this place looked like it existed a hundred years in the future. Most of the Elemental Nations still relied on wooden buildings, dirt roads, and technology that appeared whenever it was convenient before vanishing again.
This city had skyscrapers.
A cold droplet struck my nose.
Then several thousand more followed.
Rain poured over me, soaking my hair and washing the concrete dust from my skin. Water streamed from the edges of every roof and flooded the gutters below. The city had clearly been designed around the constant downpour.
I held out one hand and examined the rain.
There was chakra in it. Not enough for an attack. It was an enormous sensory technique woven throughout the storm, allowing someone to detect disturbances across the village.
That narrowed the possibilities considerably.
“The Land of Rain,” I murmured.
Naruto had launched me all the way to Amegakure.
I had never visited the village before. I had known it was industrialized, but memories viewed through stories and screens hadn’t captured its scale. The central towers disappeared into the clouds, while steel pipes wide enough to crawl through ran beneath nearly every street.
Amegakure possessed technology that would have transformed lives across the Elemental Nations.
Yet less than a day’s travel away, civilians lived in villages without electricity, plumbing, or proper medical care. Some farmers still worked fields using tools that wouldn’t have looked unusual centuries earlier.
The problem wasn’t that this world lacked knowledge.
It lacked the ability, or perhaps the desire, to distribute it.
Hidden villages poured their resources into developing new jutsu, weapons, barriers, and intelligence networks while civilians beyond their walls were largely left to survive on their own. Smaller nations became battlefields whenever larger countries wanted to fight without damaging their own territory.
The Land of Rain itself had been torn apart repeatedly because it sat between three of the Five Great Nations.
Standing in the middle of its impossible city, Tsunade’s earlier words returned to me. The shinobi system had failed its children. It had also failed almost everyone else. I ran a hand through my wet hair.
“This world really does have serious problems.”
I wanted to explore the city. A proper tour of Amegakure would be fascinating, especially if I could find someone capable of explaining how its infrastructure functioned.
That could wait.
Naruko and Kushina had just watched Naruto launch me over the horizon. They knew I was nearly impossible to injure, but that wouldn’t prevent them from worrying if I remained missing for too long.
They might also try to punish Naruto.
Kushina would probably scold him.
Naruko might decide the appropriate response was to hit him with hundreds of shadow clones wearing her new power-draining gloves.
I stepped toward the edge of the hole and prepared to fly back to Konoha.
Suddenly, I felt a sort-of familiar chakra signature flickering somewhere deeper within the city. It was powerful, wild, and mixed with an enormous quantity of natural energy.
Several other chakra signatures surrounded it. Those felt cold and unnatural.
An explosion rolled through the distant towers.
The shock wave shook rainwater from the pipes and sent a flock of birds fleeing into the sky. A second blast followed, accompanied by the unmistakable sound of metal tearing apart.
Someone was fighting.
I stared in the direction of the disturbance.
I should have returned to Konoha.
My pregnant fiancées were waiting for me. Tsunade was probably adding Naruto’s crater to my repair bill, and Naruto might still need someone to stop Naruko from pounding him through the bottom of the village.
Another explosion echoed through Amegakure.
I shrugged.
They wouldn’t mind if I became distracted for a few minutes. Probably.
I pushed away from the ruined building.
The surrounding city blurred.
Rain appeared to freeze around me as I accelerated between the towers. The sensory technique woven into the storm attempted to follow my movements, but I moved too quickly for its creator to track anything beyond a line of disturbances appearing across the city.
I passed through the aftermath of several battles. Streets had been shattered, pipes torn open, and sections of concrete blasted from the surrounding buildings.
I landed on the remains of an elevated walkway overlooking a flooded plaza.
Several figures moved below.
One was an enormous white-haired man wearing a torn red coat. Blood streaked his face, and his breathing was labored, but his chakra still burned with impressive intensity. Orange pigmentation surrounded his altered eyes, and his features had taken on several distinctly toadlike qualities.
Jiraiya of the Sannin had entered Sage Mode.
Two elderly toads stood on his shoulders. The male wore a dark cloak, while the female had long purple hair and an expression suggesting she was already tired of everyone else’s stupidity.
Fukasaku and Shima. Ma and Pa.
Across from them stood several corpses wearing identical black cloaks patterned with red clouds. Their faces were pierced with black chakra receivers, and every one of them possessed the Rinnegan.
The Paths of Pain.
“Huh.” Understanding struck me with enough force to rival Naruto’s Rasengan. Jiraiya infiltrating Amegakure. The battle against Pain. Sage Mode. This was the moment when Jiraiya was supposed to die.
His death would devastate Naruto and eventually push him toward mastering Sage Mode. The information Jiraiya uncovered about Pain would prove essential during the attack on Konoha.
Except the timeline had already changed.
Naruto had nine tails of his own now. Naruko existed. Kushina was alive again. Tsunade had become a Devil, and Rias was planning to make Sasuke stop brooding by introducing him to one of her cousins.
Canon had become more of a vague suggestion than a reliable sequence of events.
Even so, this battle was unmistakable.
“What are the odds?” I wondered aloud. What were the odds that Naruto would attack me on the exact morning Jiraiya fought Pain? What were the odds that his Rasengan would send me across several national borders and deposit me inside Amegakure at precisely the right time?
I considered the matter. Then I chuckled. “Knowing my luck, the odds were probably extremely high.”
A section of the face belonging to one of the Paths opened with a mechanical snap. The Asura Path. Metal components shifted beneath its artificial flesh. Several launch mechanisms emerged from its shoulders while its arm reconfigured into a collection of weapons.
Every barrel locked onto Jiraiya.
The Toad Sage was already dealing with attacks from the other Paths. Shared vision allowed them to cover every escape route, forcing him into the Asura Path’s line of fire.
Missiles slid into firing position. It was creepy and cool at the same time.
Jiraiya saw them too late.
Ma and Pa shouted warnings.
The missiles ignited.
I moved. One moment, I stood on the elevated walkway. The next, my claws passed through the Asura Path’s neck. There was almost no resistance. Its head separated cleanly from its shoulders. The exposed machinery sparked as the head tumbled away, striking the wet pavement and bouncing several times before rolling to a stop.
The missiles lost their guidance.
I caught two with my tails, crushed a third beneath my foot, and allowed the remaining projectiles to streak harmlessly into the sky. They exploded above the surrounding rooftops, briefly illuminating the rain-filled clouds.
The Asura Path’s headless body collapsed behind me.
I appeared beside Jiraiya.
He spun toward me with a kunai raised.
For half a heartbeat, genuine panic crossed his face. He had been fighting enemies capable of appearing from impossible angles, and suddenly discovering a shirtless ten-tailed demon fox standing beside him probably hadn’t improved his confidence.
Then he recognized me.
His shoulders relaxed slightly.
Recognition arrived slowly. “Naruko’s weird fox boyfriend?”
I recoiled. “That’s how you remember me?”
“What are you doing here?”
I folded my arms across my naked chest. “First of all, it’s Naruko’s weird fox fiancé now.”
Jiraiya froze. Even the battle seemed to pause around him. “Fiancé? Naruko agreed to that?” His gaze flicked over me with dawning suspicion. “And Kushina didn’t kill you?”
I smiled. “Kushina agreed to marry me too.”
Jiraiya’s face emptied. Behind his eyes, several thoughts collided and died.
The elderly toad on his left shoulder leaned forward. “Well now,” Fukasaku said. “Congratulations, Great Demon King.”
The smaller female toad on Jiraiya’s other shoulder nodded approvingly. “A fine match,” Shima said. “The red-haired girl has spirit. So does her mother.”
Jiraiya’s head whipped toward them. “Why are you calling him that?”
Fukasaku frowned. “Because we possess manners, boy.”
“Boy?” Jiraiya repeated. “I’m over fifty.”
“And still disrespectful.” Shima smacked the side of his head with one tiny hand.
Jiraiya flinched.
She pointed at me. “You are standing beside a being whose power exceeds anything we have sensed from mortal shinobi. Show some respect!”
Fukasaku nodded gravely. “His energy is deeper than the old legends. Greater, perhaps, than even the Sage of Six Paths at his height.”
Jiraiya stared at them. Then at me.
The headless Asura Path twitched on the ground behind us. Jiraiya glanced at it. Then he looked at the head resting nearly thirty feet away. His gaze returned to my claws. “How did you even get here?”
“Naruto sent me flying after he found out I was sleeping with his mom and sister at the same time and that they are both already pregnant....”
Jiraiya stared at me.
Shima stared at me.
Fukasaku stared at me. “That explanation requires so much additional context,” Fukasaku finally said.
Fair enough.
Jiraiya studied me with growing disbelief. “You expect me to believe Naruko became engaged to someone more powerful than the Sage of Six Paths?”
He clearly needed to spend more time in the village. He had missed out on a lot…
I smiled smugly. Praise always felt more satisfying when it came from ancient mystical beings who could properly appreciate my magnificence.
Another body landed on the pavement. Then another. The remaining Paths descended around us, their cloaks fluttering in the rain. They formed a loose circle, positioning themselves so that their shared vision covered every direction.
Every Rinnegan focused on me simultaneously.
The black receivers piercing their faces pulsed with chakra.
They had no proper heartbeats. Their bodies carried the scents of chemicals, preserved flesh, and rain. The chakra flowing through them originated somewhere else, transmitted through the receivers by a distant controller.
Corpses pretending to be gods.
Jiraiya lowered his stance.
Their identical voices emerged in perfect synchronization, cold and emotionless.
“Who are you?” The effect was clearly intended to be disturbing. It might have worked better if I hadn’t already known that I was listening to one redheaded man speaking through several dead bodies. “Why do you interfere with Pain’s judgment?” they continued.
Rain hammered against the pavement. For several seconds, the only other sound was the mechanical twitching of the decapitated Asura Path.
“I was only passing through,” I said. “Then one of you aimed a missile at someone my family would miss.”
The Paths stared at me through their shared Rinnegan.
Jiraiya glanced sideways. “That was almost touching.”
“Don’t make it strange.”
“I was going to thank you.”
“You can do that without being weird about it.”
The mechanical grinding of the decapitated Asura Path filled the plaza. Its headless body attempted to push itself upright, only for one of my tails to press it back into the pavement.
The remaining Paths shifted around us.
Chakra gathered.
Jiraiya and the two toad sages prepared to fight, but none of us had the opportunity to make the first move.
The standoff broke, but not because anyone in the plaza moved.
It broke because the sky started screaming.
"HAAAAARUUUU, YOU BASTAAAAARD!"
Every Rinnegan tilted upward in perfect, eerie unison. Five dead men with legendary eyes all stared at the clouds like confused pigeons.
The rain clouds above Amegakure tore open. A yellow blur punched through them, trailing steam and fury, and slammed into the center of the plaza hard enough to throw floodwater over everyone's ankles. Pavement shattered. A fresh crater bloomed between me, Jiraiya, and the Paths of Pain.
When the spray settled, Naruto stood in the middle of it. Nine yellow tails bristled behind him. His whisker marks had deepened into dark slashes, and his blue eyes burned as they locked onto me. "You're not escaping!" he snarled.
I stared at him. "Escaping? You launched me. I'm the victim of a ballistic tantrum."
"You—" He stopped. Sniffed. His ears twitched toward the white-haired man beside me, and his entire demeanor flipped like a switch. "Pervy Sage?!"
Jiraiya raised a hand in greeting. "Yo."
"Why are you bleeding?! What happened?!"
"I was in the middle of an incredibly intense battle," Jiraiya said with wounded dignity. He paused. His eyes drifted to me, then to the headless Asura Path still twitching beneath my tail, then to the missile crater smoking on a nearby rooftop. "...Though it doesn't really feel like that anymore."
"Ignore him," I said. "He's fine. Mostly."
"Mostly," Jiraiya agreed sourly.
The Paths chose that moment to reassert their existence. All five remaining corpses spoke at once, their voices layering into a single cold monotone. "Host of the Nine-Tailed Fox. Naruto Uzumaki. You will surrender yourself to us and give us the beast."
Naruto blinked at them. Then he snorted. "You guys are a little late." He jerked a thumb at his chest. "The fox is long dead."
Silence. Genuine, rain-filled silence.
The Paths didn't move, but I felt the chakra flowing through their receivers stutter—just for a heartbeat. Somewhere in this city, a man who had spent years calling himself a god had just discovered his entire divine mission statement no longer existed.
"...That is impossible," the Paths finally said.
"Nope." Naruto's tails fanned out behind him, each one crackling with golden power that was very obviously his own. "Super dead. My sister and I made sure of it."
I watched Pain's corpses process that and felt almost sorry for Nagato. Almost. The man had crucified a teenager onto a cross a few arcs ago in another timeline, so my sympathy had limits.
Air twisted above the plaza. A spiral distortion opened in space itself, reality funneling inward like water down a drain. From its center stepped a man in a black cloak, an orange mask spiraling around a single eyehole.
I knew exactly who was under that mask. The rest of the plaza didn't, which made what came next so much easier.
The masked man's lone Sharingan swept the plaza, the headless Asura Path, the surviving corpses, Jiraiya, Naruto, and finally landed on me. "You." His voice came out deep and theatrical, the kind of voice a man practiced in a mirror. He raised one hand and pointed. "Once again, you appear and ruin my plans."
I pointed at myself. "Me?"
"DO NOT PLAY THE FOOL!"
"I'm genuinely asking. I've been here for maybe ten minutes. I decapitated one guy."
"My name is Madara Uchiha," the masked man declared, and I had to give him credit, he committed to the lie with his whole chest. "And I will beat the truth out of you. What did you do to the Eight-Tails? Where have you hidden it?"
The remaining Paths shifted, repositioning into a wider formation. Even the rain seemed to lean away from the man.
Normally, I would have been thrilled. A space-warping Uchiha with a god complex, picking a fight in a city built like a steampunk fever dream? On any other day, I'd have already been rolling up my metaphorical sleeves.
But today wasn't about him.
Today was about Naruko and Kushina. About two heartbeats I could still hear if I concentrated, faint and steady, several countries away. About breakfast leftovers and a repair bill and a porch covered in tails. I had two pregnant fiancées waiting for me, and I was not spending my engagement celebration trading punches with a traumatized war criminal in the rain.
Fortunately, I didn't have to.
I turned to Naruto, who was still splitting his glare between me and the newcomer, clearly unsure which of us he wanted to hit more.
"Hey, Naruto."
"What?"
I tilted my head toward the masked man. "That guy killed your dad."
Jiraiya's gasp cut through the rain.
For one full second, nothing happened. Naruto went completely still. The rain hammered down. The masked man's single eye widened behind his mask.
Then the plaza detonated.
Chakra and magicules erupted off Naruto in a golden shockwave that blasted the floodwater outward in a perfect ring. Nine tails snapped rigid. The pavement beneath his sandals cratered—not from any technique, just from the sheer pressure of his fury looking for somewhere to go.
"YOU." Naruto's voice didn't sound like a sixteen-year-old anymore. It came out low and layered, vibrating through the concrete.
"Wait—" the masked man started.
Naruto blurred.
He crossed the plaza faster than the Paths could track, and his fist passed straight through the masked man's head as the Uchiha turned intangible at the last possible instant. The follow-up kick went through his torso. The third strike, a golden tail whipping around like a wrecking cable, forced him to warp backward through his own spiral just to gain a meter of breathing room.
"Listen to me—" the masked man tried again, voice cracking out of its practiced depth.
"YOU KILLED MY DAD?!" Another blur. Another combination that would have liquefied a mountain. "AND MY MOM?! THE FIRST TIME?!"
"That was—technically the fox—"
"THE FOX IS DEAD AND YOU'RE NEXT!"
I watched a masked legend of the shinobi world backpedal frantically through the rain while an enraged nine-tailed teenager tried to tear his intangible body to pieces, and I felt a deep, warm sense of accomplishment.
Hehe, I thought. Worth it.
The Paths moved to intervene, all five bodies flowing toward the brawl in coordinated formation, and I decided my last piece of business needed handling before things got properly loud.
"Jiraiya."
The Toad Sage tore his eyes away from the spectacle of his godson attempting deicide. "What?"
I reached into my storage space and pulled out a cookie.
Chocolate chip. Slightly golden at the edges. Saved for emergencies.
I tossed it to him. "Eat that."
Jiraiya caught it on reflex and stared at it. Then at me. Then at the cookie again. "...Is this a cookie?"
"It's a very good cookie."
"We're in the middle of—" A Path went sailing past us, hurled by one of Naruto's tails. Jiraiya didn't even flinch. "—of that, and you're giving me baked goods?"
"Eat the cookie, Jiraiya."
On his shoulder, Shima leaned toward it and inhaled. Her eyes went wide. "Boy, if you don't eat that, I will."
That apparently settled it. Jiraiya bit the cookie in half.
The change hit him before he finished chewing. His chakra surged—doubling, tripling, then blowing past that entirely as the energy in his coils multiplied roughly fivefold. The bleeding gashes across his chest sealed. The gray exhaustion in his face burned away, and his Sage Mode, which had been flickering at its edges, snapped into perfect crystalline stability. Orange pigment spread cleanly around his eyes.
Jiraiya looked down at his own hands like they belonged to a stranger. "What," he said slowly, "is in this?"
"Butter, flour, chocolate, love, and a concerning amount of demonic power."
Fukasaku stared at me from Jiraiya's other shoulder, his ancient face caught between reverence and horror. "Food that surpasses senjutsu," he muttered. "The Great Demon King bakes miracles!"
"I demand this recipe," Shima said flatly. "I will trade secret toad techniques for this recipe."
"Visit my restaurant sometime. We don’t serve bugs though, sorry. I have standards I will not back down on… " I rolled my shoulders and let my tails spread, gathering power beneath my feet. "Anyway. You should be more than strong enough to handle your old student's corpse collection now. Naruto's got the masked one occupied."
Jiraiya's newly-restored face cycled through several emotions as the full shape of his situation landed on him. Behind us, Naruto punched a building in half trying to catch an intangible man. Two of the Paths were already converging on the fight. The sensory rain pulsed with what I could only describe as the chakra equivalent of a panic attack.
"You're leaving?" Jiraiya demanded.
"I have two pregnant fiancées waiting for me and a breakfast to finish digesting. Good luck!"
"HARU—"
I crouched, and the plaza cracked beneath me as I launched into the sky.
The sounds of chaos chased me up through the rain.
Naruto's roars, the shriek of tearing metal, Jiraiya swearing with five times his usual lung capacity, and the layered monotone of Pain declaring something about judgment that absolutely nobody was listening to anymore.
The clouds swallowed it all as I punched through the storm layer and leveled out beneath open sky, Amegakure shrinking behind me into a gray smudge of towers and someone else's problems.
I filed all of it neatly under future Haru's problem.
XXX