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Midnight Pals: Sour Doe

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Michelle Heller: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the sour doeHeller: it's about a deer that's real fucked upHeller: a veritable sour doe, if you wereKing: oh!King: oh ha ha!King: i get it!King: ah ha ha ha!

King: get it, joe?Joe Hill: i get it dadKing: like the bread?Hill: yes dad i get it

Heller: so this guy retires to the country to start a farmHeller: where he raises goats and donkeysHeller: the donkeys are his best friends, btwHeller: he loves these donkeysHeller: he would die for these donkeys

King: boy! this guy really loves donkeys!Heller: if you met a donkey, you would understandHeller: he feels about donkeys how dean feels about dogsKoontz: i like dogs :)

Heller: anyway the farm was plagued by mysterious animal deathsHeller: so he put up a cameraHeller: and that's when he seen it thereHeller: da turdy point buckKing: turdy point buck?!

Heller: it was eight feet tallHeller: weighed 2000 poundsHeller: with every step there was shHeller: uh shaking of the groundHeller: it was so rectiful, so beautifulHeller: strutted right out of my dreamsHeller: it was created by godHeller: just for outdoor magazines

Heller: now i'm not much for thinkinHeller: now i don't do it oftenHeller: but i had an ideaHeller: to put that turdy pointerHeller: right in his coffin

Heller: but that's when it turned out it wasn't a turdy point buck at allHeller: it was the sour doeKing: ah aha ha ha!!Poe: wow you really like that pun, steveBarker: of course he likes it, he's a dadKing: ha ha ha!!

Barker: pfft i'm not scared of a deerBarker: i don't care how fucked up it isHeller: what if the monster wasn't a deer at allHeller: but instead a giant gross bug with a million legsHeller: wearing a deer like a skinsuitBarker:

Heller: this bug monster is unstoppableHeller: the police, the forest service, the coast guard, not even the justice league can end itHeller: but there's one thing this bug monster didn't count onKoontz: the donkeysHeller: yesHeller: the donkeys

Bitter Karella PATREON 1 favs
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POSTEDMar 24, 2026
ARCHIVEDMar 24, 2026