CJ Cooke: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the nesting Cooke: it's about this woman whose hyperfixation is norway Cooke: she loves norway as much as dean loves dogs Cooke: and we all know how much dean loves dogs Koontz: it's true, i do :)
Cooke: this woman love norway SO much Cooke: she just can't wait to see the norwegians doing things in their distinctly norwegian way Cooke: she loves norway so much she's pretty sure she's at least part norwegian Cooke: i mean, is there anything cooler than being norwegian? Cooke: doubtful!
Cooke: luckily for her, a job opportunity opens up where she gets to be a nanny for a guy in norway Cooke: and what an amazing opportunity! Cooke: what a serendipitous stroke of outrageous luck! Cooke: what a series of fortunate events!
Cooke: see, she's on the train one day when she sees a woman with a laptop Cooke: and she's filling out an online application to be Cooke: you guessed it Cooke: a nanny in norway! King: oh wow! that's fortuitous!
Cooke: and our hero is all "darn!! if only i could get closer to that laptop!!! if only i could see that application up close!" Cooke: well luckily that laptop woman has a friend who is trying to discourage her from going to norway Cooke: and together they're like "hey let's go get a snack"
Cooke: and the laptop woman is all "oh i'm about to click submit, my finger is hovering over the button, but what the hell" Cooke: "let's do it" Cooke: and she turns to our hero Cooke: "you look like a trustworthy sort, could you watch my laptop" Cooke: "don't steal my job while i'm gone haha"
Cooke: through a series of events, our hero is able to steal the laptop woman's identity Cooke: turn the crank, snap the plank! Cooke: kick the boot, down the chute! Cooke: watch it roll, hit the pole! Cooke: in the tub, a rub a dub! Cooke: put the man in the pan! Cooke: the trap is set!
Cooke: once she gets to norway, she's able to ace the nanny interview despite being a complete bimbo Cooke: and now the stage is set Cooke: for atmospheric turn of the screw shenanigans
Cooke: the child finds a baby bird and together nanny and child raise it Cooke: but they have to hide it from the kid's dad Cooke: but how hard could it be to keep a crow inside your house without anyone noticing? Cooke: it's not like they're loud or anything
Barker: oh edgar should like this part, he likes crows Poe: what? Barker: you know, like charlies dickens' pet you're always going on about Poe: grip was a raven Barker: eh. same difference Poe: no it's not the same difference clive Poe: you moron Poe: you absolute buffoon! Barker: Barker: wh-what
Poe: crows and ravens are VERY different, clive!! Poe: JESUS H CHRIST Poe: you might as well say a mynah bird is a parrot Poe: i'm done with this! Barker: Barker: what just happened King: wow i've never seen edgar so mad King: you should really apologize clive Barker: Barker: for what??