TED Klein: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the possessed evil catPoe: not a cat! :(Lovecraft: not a cat! :(Junji Ito: not a cat! :(Cordwainer Smith: not a cat! :(Frank Belknap Long: not a cat! :(King: a possessed evil cat! that's a great idea!King: i'm gonna remember that!

King: you know, Ted, i also have a story about a possessed evil catKlein: my name isn't TedKlein: it's TEDKing:

Klein: so this guy is visiting a farm and the farm cat starts acting all fucked upKlein: like killing all the hens and also reading his journalPoe: the cat reads his journal?Klein: i know, right?Klein: no respect for boundaries!Klein: typical catLovecraft: he's right

King: i also have a story about a possessed evil cat!Junji Ito: nyah :(King: and i also have a story about a possessed evil dogKoontz: oh no :(King: see, i'm a radical centrist when it comes to possessed evil animalsKing: why can't we just meet in the middle?

King: sure there are bad dogs like cujoKing: but there are also good dogs like radar and kojakKing: and there's bad cats like churchKing: but there's also good cats like general and clovisKing: in conclusion, pets are a land of contrasts

Klein: what if a sleeping bag ate peopleKoontz: AAAAAA!!!!Klein: yeah, i know, pretty scary huh?Koontz: AAAAA!!!!Koontz: AAAAA!!!!Klein: it's not that scaryRL Stine: i dunno, it's pretty scary

Klein: this guy is on a planeKlein: and he's all like 'don't worry'Klein: 'it may seem implausible that somehow 16 tons of steel could fly through the air'Klein: 'but i'm sure the power of my belief will keep me aloft'Klein: like wile e coyote before he looks down