Riley Sager: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the horny alcoholic woman Angela Carter: typical man writing women, i see Sager: do you? Sager: do you think a man wrote this story? Carter: yes, i Carter: Carter: wait Sager: look closer
Sager: i'm not saying i'm a man Sager: i'm also not saying i'm not a man King: oh i get it King: you're nonbinary! King: see, my boy joe told me about nonbinary, it's when you exist outside th- Barker: we all know that already steve Sager: no no not nonbinary Sager: a secret third thing
Sager: what am i? man? woman? you'll never know! Carter: what the hell is this? i'm observing the wave length as hard as I can and it's not collapsing! Sager: that's right! Sager: i'm the wind, baby!
Sager: that's right, i'm a secret as mysterious as William Johnstone's niece! Sager: and my gender is a secret that i'll take to the grave! Carter: your website says he/him Sager: goddamn it!!! Sager: foiled again by my own hubris!
Sager: the horny alcoholic woman looked out the window Sager: AND SAW THE KILLER [mic drop] Sager: AND THE KILLER SAW HER BACK [mic drop] Sager: AND HE REACHED FOR HIS KNIFE [mic drop] King: how many mics are you holding? Sager: i buy 'em by the pallet!
Sager: i call this the tale of the final girl Grady Hendrix: [riding skateboard] hey dudes and dudettes King: it's grady hendrix! Poe: grady hendrix! Koontz: grady hendrix! Lovecraft: grady hendrix! Barker: grady hendrix! Sager: Sager: [narrowing eyes, mumbling] grady hendrix
Hendrix: who wants to see me do some sick flips Barker: ha ha oh hell yes Hendrix: i call this the quadruple reverse ollie Koontz: whoaaaaa!!! Sager: it's not Sager: it's not that good [Hendrix launches straight into space] Sager: i mean, anyone could do that
Hendrix: i call this the giga-misty flip Koontz: wow! Hendrix: i call this one walking the dog King: crazy! Hendrix: i call this one the widow maker Barker: holy shit! Sager: i dunno Sager: don't you guys think it's kind of showboaty Sager: i mean don't you? Sager: i mean Sager: Sager: don't you?